by Quil Carter
After they’d left the table, Kheva read a book in his black easy chair and wrote in that leather-bound ledger Sasha had seen before, and Kel watched television and practiced guitar, something that he’d apparently been trying to learn this past year.
Sasha relaxed on the couch, stretched out to allow his stuffed stomach to digest all of the food. He watched television with Kel, then listened to him practice guitar, and when ten o’clock rolled around he got the flask as instructed, and did what he was ordered to do. He’d already done it again in the afternoon, thankfully the time Kheva had told him fell when the two nightcrawlers were outside tending to the garden and other outdoor chores.
This time they were both in the living room, but besides Kel watching him the entire time with a lustful look, it went smoothly. Sasha was able to close his eyes and think of Aragon from The Lord of the Rings, and within ten minutes, he’d done the deed.
As the night went on however, there was a nagging worry that came during every evening in Ciel Lake. Bed time was a stressful time for him, but he was hoping since last night was so traumatic, tonight would be a bit peaceful. Everyone had gotten their fill of what was needed to fend off the migraines, and even Kel should be satisfied after pouncing on Sterling.
At one in the morning, Kheva rose. “It’s time for bed,” he said. “Shut off the lights and turn down the heat.” And walked up the stairs with nothing else said.
There was a nervous jolt in Sasha’s heart. His experience here had taught him that every good evening he’d had here ended with something brutal and scarring. Even though his brain tried to reassure him that since last night was so horrible, tonight he’d be spared… he couldn’t shake the anxiety breeding like rabbits inside of his gut.
Sasha began to turn off the lights, Kheva now gone. He then closed the sliding glass door and drew the curtains, his chest a knot that tightened with every breath.
Then behind him, there was a low laugh. “So scared,” Kel said. “A little bird in between the paws of a cat, with a racing heart that will give out at any moment.”
Sasha spun around, and his mouth dropped open when he saw the nightcrawler in front of him.
Rob, not Kel.
He’s here again… Sasha thought. He’s here too often. Why was he here again so soon?
But then something occurred to him. When Sasha had seen Rob, just last night, Rob was never taken care of by Kheva. Could he have gathered strength from continuing to go unnoticed?
It didn’t matter the reason, he was there and even though his feelings regarding Rob were full of confliction, one thing was for sure: he had to play it cool. “You think I don’t have a reason?” Sasha said. “You know what happens at night… it’s Kel who does those fucked up things to me.”
“Indeed,” Rob said. There was something different with him, his tone was off. It sounded like… he was angry with Sasha.
Sasha mentally put himself on guard, making himself hyper-aware of any infiltrators. He couldn’t have Rob reading his thoughts, or his hesitation about him being here. Sasha didn’t quite know how to put up those mental barriers like the others could, but until he could learn––which he decided would be soon––he would have to settle for at least knowing when someone was listening in to his thoughts.
Sasha’s suspicions ended up being correct, Rob casually walked towards him, his eyes fixed and his feet bringing him forward like they were locked in a tractor beam. “You told Kheva about Nik’s inner betrayal?” he said slowly. “Not to mention you dozed so peacefully in his arms.” His expression became almost hostile, Sasha didn’t even think he was blinking. “I would expect a bit more resistance from you, nightcrawler.”
If it was a week ago, Sasha may have cowered down and stammered defences and apologies, but he was beginning to find strength in himself, and something he’d always had in short supply: pride.
“I’ve been fucking tortured for the last two weeks,” Sasha said coolly. “You can’t expect me to endure that shit. I’m doing what I have to do to stop myself from getting beaten and raped. You can’t hold that against me.”
“And in doing so, you seem to have started enjoying being with the man who has caused such things,” Rob said. He was only half a foot from Sasha now, the two of them standing by the dining room table, all the lights off but for the light above the stove that was always kept on. “You’re sleeping in the arms of the man who allowed this insane shell I’ve become to brutally rape you, the man who’s tortured and physically massacred you. Are you enjoying being raped? Are you telling me you’ve come to love the abuse?”
Sasha’s teeth clenched. “Just let me do this my way,” he snapped. And out of rage, he said in a lowered tone, “You’ve got the god damn memory of what that pedophile did to him. You know the sort of sick shit he was subjected to. I’m doing what you asked.”
“And let’s make sure you continue to do so,” Rob said, his tone also taking a nosedive. He leaned into Sasha, his eyes lit flares that were so brilliant, they seemed to light up the room. “Don’t you forget for one second who the enemy is, Sasha Zakharin. He’s destroyed lives, not just mine, not just yours, he’s destroyed them and has left his victims with nothing but scars and the ashes of their previous lives. He’s not a good person, he’s a monster and he has to be stopped.” Something strange happened then, Rob’s lower lip tightened, and there was a brief flash of pain on his face.
The man, who had previously given Sasha a cold attitude filled with hostility and judgement, then put a hand to his mouth, and he turned from Sasha.
And inside of Sasha’s mind, he felt a pull, almost like… a summons.
Then Rob turned back to Sasha, placed a hand on his face, and lowered his head until their foreheads touched.
Suddenly, Sasha was pulled backwards into the dark void. The world was poured around him like an overturned bucket of water, and Sasha saw in gruesome vividness, a scene that exploded the void with intensity and noise like someone had maxed the sound on a stereo.
Sasha was on his back, staring up at the ceiling. There were people surrounding him, all men naked, some from the waist down, some entirely; they were staring with eyes bright and faces twisted in demonic glee. He was struggling, his mouth open as scream after scream emptied his lungs. These men, their faces were defined and in focus, like he was determined to remember every single one of them.
Then the pain, a familiar pain that Sasha knew all too well, but had been foreign to him only several weeks ago.
He was being raped.
And it was worse than that. The panicked man whose memories he was inside of, knew the man who was on top of him.
Swiftly then, the scene shifted. Sasha jumped from one mind to the other, the change in feelings was jarring, from terror and pain, to an overwhelming swell of sexual dominance and pleasure. There was rush after rush of power coursing through him, and a thirst to drink freely of the screams that rang so beautifully from the victim he was dominating.
“Rip him! Rip him! Rip him!” they chanted in unison. Each of them was hard, their hands touching and stroking their cocks, ejaculating on the victim and attempting to choke him by thrusting their hard rods into his mouth. The man Sasha was inside of laughed internally from the humiliation the victim must be feeling. He was loving every moment of this, and memorized each minute so he could draw it up and savour it afterwards.
Sasha was horrified, an emotion out of place in the sea of dominant lust and insatiable need to humiliate and overpower. He tried to escape this horrible memory, but the walls around him were closing in, he was trapped inside like it was a bad nightmare.
He had to escape; he had to escape.
Then the pull backwards, this one a crushing relief to Sasha. He was sucked into the vacuum, and for a moment the darkness returned, then with a gasp, reality came rushing back to him.
“Holy fuck,” Sasha cried, his hand clamping his mouth. He stared at Rob, so horrified by what he’d seen he felt dumbstruck. “Was that… that
was you and Kheva, wasn’t it?”
Rob nodded, his expression hard. “Yes,” he said. “He gang-raped me with his friends. One after the other for hours and hours. Then…when I was hiding in my brother’s house, too ashamed to have my boyfriend know what happened to me… he took me to this prison, and it is here I stayed.”
Sasha was at a loss for words, he just stared at Rob, a swell of many emotions making a churning sea of nausea in his stomach. “Fuck,” was all he could say. The emotions he felt so strongly, not only the fear and pain from Rob, but the sick glee coming from Kheva––it was almost too much to bear.
I have to get out of here.
“We have to get out of here,” Rob said. “And I plan on using the only weakness Kheva has. I’m going to use his childhood against him, and you need to help me. You need to keep storing those memories for me, if we have any chance of stopping him.”
“How?” Sasha stammered. “How will that stop him?”
“I have my own abilities,” Rob said. “I’m going to break him how he broke me.” The man walked to Sasha, soft footsteps but every one of them echoed in Sasha’s head. “There is only so much a nightcrawler’s mind can take, Sasha.”
“What do you mean?” Sasha whispered. “I – I don’t understand.”
Rob looked behind Sasha, and when Sasha turned, he saw Rob staring outside, onto the dark porch. The moon was hidden tonight, but Sasha could still see the twinkling stars in the sky. Stars that seemed unworldly bright without the light pollution of the city.
“Our minds are brilliant, yet fragile,” Rob explained. “If you overload it, if you bring it to its knees… something happens. At first, we thought that the mind shatters, that it’s destroyed and nothing can bring it back… but then we realize… there is a shred of your old self that remains.”
Sasha’s eyes widened, and in the reflection of the sliding glass window, he looked at Rob. “That’s what happened to you, isn’t it?” he whispered. “Kheva broke your mind. That’s who Kel is? He’s the shattered bits that remain?”
Rob nodded grimly. “The idiot savant is all that’s left of me. Every time I emerge, Kheva knows and he uses his abilities to shove me back down, weakening me so I cannot come to the surface.”
Sasha was silent as he processed this. It was bizarre, but given what he’d learned about the mind of a nightcrawler, about Silent Ground, and the terrifying yet amazing things he himself could already do… it made perfect sense.
“We can do brilliant yet strange things with our minds, Sasha Zakharin,” he said. “Our minds are always at work, they’re always creating… but without guidance, they’re the Devil’s playground.” Rob then turned from the sliding glass door, and began to slowly walk back to the living room. “I trust you will continue to get me what I need? I don’t need to hear your sympathies for a mad man who has done terrible things.”
Sasha shuddered as the memories of what he’d just experienced gave a surge of vibrancy. The overwhelming fear, the chanting Rip him! Rip him! Rip him! it echoed through his head with a power that told Sasha he wouldn’t be forgetting it any time soon. It was… it reminded him of what had happened to him, the first time Kheva had let Kel rape him. Except it was worse. Even though it hadn’t happened to him… it was worse.
And he’d only seen a small sliver of what had went on that night.
Rob was right. Fuck, Rob was right.
Kheva…
“Kheva has to be stopped,” Sasha whispered. “I’ll help you stop him.”
Rob, now at the bottom of the wooden stairs, nodded. “I knew I could count on you, nightcrawler,” he said, and he began to ascend the steps.
Sasha watched the bottom of the stairs, even after Rob had disappeared up them. He remained in the silence, his heart racing, and his body still shivering over the memories he’d been forced to re-live.
Then, after several minutes, he took in a deep breath, and followed in Rob’s footsteps.
CHAPTER 21
Jobe didn’t even bother knocking on Lex’s door once morning came around. He knew that Lex would be too tired to get out of bed to answer the door, and what was worse, since Jobe was staying in Sasha’s apartment, hoping his friend would show up, Lex sometimes thought that it was Sasha himself at the door.
It wasn’t like Lex was tirelessly working himself to the bone, and that was why he was too tired to answer Jobe’s knocks, it was because every night Lex drunk himself into a stupor. Unable to cope with the guilt and worry at night, he’d turn to the bottle and if Jobe was working that evening… he’d drink and drink until he passed out.
And if Jobe wasn’t working? Then he was usually right beside Lex, passing the bottle back and forth like a joint.
Jobe opened Lex’s door, and a wall of stale alcohol and old garbage hit him. His nose wrinkled, and for the third time, he promised himself he’d look through the Yellow Pages to find a housekeeper to clean up the pit that had once been Lex Zakharin’s house.
He looked at the living room and sighed at the mess. He put down the coffee and McDonalds breakfast that he’d just come back from fetching and put it on the dining room table.
“Lex?” Jobe called. He didn’t know why he even bothered calling his name, he knew where he’d find Sasha’s uncle if he wasn’t sprawled out on the couch with several cats on him and an empty bottle of vodka on the coffee table.
Sure enough, Jobe found Lex in bed. He was still dressed and hadn’t even bothered to go under any covers. Lex was spread eagle, his head tilted to the side with a small puddle of dried vomit stuck to the navy-blue sheets.
“Oh, Lex,” Jobe sighed. He walked over to Lex and shook his shoulder. “See, this is why I came early. Get up.”
Lex groaned and his shut eyes tightened. He rolled onto his back and grimaced as Jobe flicked the lights on. “What?” he mumbled.
“What?” Jobe said exasperated. “We have a meeting with Lariat this afternoon, that’s what.”
“That’s not until two,” was Lex’s drowsy retort. “Come back then, and bring coffee and McDonalds breakfast.”
Jobe chuckled. “I brought both,” he said. “Go have a shower so you stop smelling like a homeless person and meet me downstairs.”
Lex looked up at him with bleary eyes. “Did you get me a sausage and egg McMuffin?” he asked.
“With two hash browns, and two cream one sugar in your coffee,” Jobe said. He turned and began to leave the bedroom. “The quicker you are, the warmer it’ll stay, so hurry up.”
Lex rubbed his head, his black hair sticking up in all directions. “Okay, you sold me,” he said and as Jobe left the room, he saw Lex begin to rise to his feet. “Keep my food warm, I’ll be down in a moment. I’m not hungover at least.”
Half an hour later, Lex walked down the stairs looking much more like himself. He was wearing a clean, dark purple collared shirt and blue jeans, and was freshly shaven with his hair combed and styled.
But his eyes still wore bags underneath them, and there was always an air of heaviness that encircle Lex, the same air that Jobe knew followed him around as well.
Two weeks, three days.
However, in this unrequited darkness that had befallen the two, there was a sliver of hope. Ian Lariat, the private detective that Lex had hired over a week ago, had called last night saying that he had news for them.
And even though he’d quickly told the two of them over speaker phone that he hadn’t found Sasha, it hadn’t stopped their hearts from jumping with excitement and hope.
An excitement and hope that had quickly fizzled. All was not lost though, he did say he had news, but what that news was… they didn’t know.
“Thanks, Mum,” Lex said when Jobe put down the McDonalds food which he’d been keeping warm in the oven.
Jobe sat down with his plate of breakfast and picked up a hash brown. “I’m hardwired to nurture and take care of things, it’s in my blood,” he said. “You’re getting the spill off, I’d go nuts if I couldn’t take care
of something. It’s like stress relief.” He took a big bite out of his hash brown before immediately regretting it. He hissed and began blowing air through his mouth to try and cool the hash brown being hot-potatoed around by his tongue.
Lex watched him with a smile, his breakfast sandwich being held in his hand. “Well, ah, I appreciate it,” he said. “I know I’ve been a mess and I don’t really know what I’d do without you, ya know? Sasha’s… lucky to have you in his life.”
Jobe swallowed his food. “Thanks, Lex,” he said. His heart giving a pang at the mention of Sasha. Two weeks, three days. Fuck, how can it be that long? “Hopefully tonight will be better for the both of us. Lariat wouldn’t be calling unless he had something for us… right?”
Lex nodded, but in truth, he didn’t know and neither did Jobe. Besides the occasional call asking for more information on Sasha, there hadn’t been anything from Lariat. They did know that Lariat lived out of town however; he was in Courtenay, the town next to Cranden. At first, they hadn’t liked the fact that Lariat was seeking information out of their small town, but he was the private detective… so they hadn’t brought voice to it.
At least it was something, they’d both said, and something was better than nothing.
After breakfast Jobe looked through the Yellow Pages like he’d promised himself and set up an interview with a company he liked the looks of. Lex made a half-hearted attempt to tidy up his house, but after clearing away the garbage and putting the dishes into the dishwasher, he’d opted instead to watch television in Sasha’s apartment. His TV was smaller and his couch old and worn out, but several times a day Lex would find himself wandering around Sasha’s suite, maybe trying to convince himself that Sasha had just been hiding somewhere the entire time.
Then it was time to leave for Lariat’s less-than-impressive office. The two of them got into Lex’s truck and drove downtown, the clouds above a steel-grey and the humidity that surrounded them suggesting that tonight they might get lightning.
