by Haley Monroe
The lights above us go off and Kate presses her little wand to my skin. I watch the monitor with eager eyes. The big triangle just looks like TV snow and patches of darkness. Kate’s shifting the wand around and her eyebrows are pinched together. She presses tighter and it almost begins to hurt as she criss crosses my lower abdomen.
“Is there something wrong?” Jacob asks breaking the thick tension growing as we all stare at the screen that shows nothing. His voice sounds different than normal and I’m scared to look at him again. I watch Kate’s face carefully as she wipes off the wand and places it back in its holder beside the monitor.
“When it comes to babies, we have two types of ultrasounds. The topical and the vaginal. Topical is great for when the baby is big enough, but right now your little peanut is still small enough that the vaginal ultrasound is the best way to get a good look. I’m going to just go speak with the doctor really quick to approve the vaginal one and then we’ll see what’s going on.”
“Does this mean I’m not as far along as the doctor thought?” I ask quickly. I knew he was wrong, maybe I’m not even pregnant.
“We’ll see okay. Hold tight.” She pats my hand then pulls my hospital gown back down over my belly. She skips out of the room and Jacob leans down to kiss my head. This time I think maybe it’s him who needs comfort from me instead of the usual me sucking all of his attention for myself. I squeeze his hand again.
“I’m so selfish, Daddy,” I whisper in the dark room. “Here we are, in the hospital, all because of me, waiting to see a baby. Our baby.” He smiles and pushes my hair back from my face. “And I haven’t even once asked how you’re doing.”
“I’m good, princess.” He doesn’t look good. He looks exhausted and worried. I tilt my head to the side and reach up for his scratchy jaw.
“Honest?”
“Honest.” He picks up my hand from his face and kisses the back of my fingers. I’m surprised when Kate returns so quickly and plops back down on her stool.
“Okay,” she claps. “This one is a little weirder than the other. I’m going to ask you to climb down and remove your panties, then jump back up and we’ll place your feet in these stirrups.” She pulls hidden stirrups from inside of the bed like table. My anxiety starts to come back in giant waves. Jacob helps me slip off the side of the table and Kate turns her back as I shimmy my panties down my legs. I fold them up slowly to stall for time and Jacob takes them from my trembling hands.
He pushes them into his pants pocket and gives me a silly wink. “Up you go.” He holds my hand as I get back on the table.
“Just like at the gyno,” Kate starts, her hands on my knees. “Slide all the way down.” I push myself down the hard bed until my ass feels like it’s going to fall off the table. She helps me push my feet into the holders and then moves to the side. Next, Kate pushes a condom down a dildo, let’s be honest, that’s exactly what it looks like. “I know this is going to feel strange, just bare with me, okay?”
Ugh, I hate this. I hate this. She stands, leaning her side against my outer thigh and places her arm between my knees. Both of my hands grab for Jacob’s and I squeeze as tight as I can. I feel the jelly covered tip of the new wand against my pussy lips and then she pushes it inside of me. It feels so wrong.
“Just relax.” Kate reminds me. “Look, there we are!” I turn my face to look at the monitor and there on the screen is a bunch of snow and small black bean. “Right there is the baby.” And with those words, I forget about the weird wand in my vagina and all of the thoughts about not being able to be a mom. My heart swells as I look at this little blip on the screen and it’s the most beautiful black spot I’ve ever laid eyes on. “Oh my.” Kate smiles as she moves the wand a little bit.
“What?” I ask, suddenly so nervous that there might be something wrong with my little bean.
“Nothing. Just taking some measurements.” She says this, but pulls the wand from my body and cleans it off quickly. Jumping up to her feet again and laying a new blanket over my lap to cover me up. “Stay just as you are. I’m just going to grab the doctor to look over my measurements, okay?”
“Yeah, sure?” I answer confused. Something isn’t right, but I don’t know what it is. I look over at Jacob as Kate disappears and he pats my hands that are clenched around his. I don’t have anything to say so I don’t speak and neither does he. We watch each other’s eyes. Unspoken words flowing between us while we wait.
The minutes feel like days until Kate re-enters the room with a doctor we haven’t met. “Miss Moore, I’m Doctor Chase the resident OB-GYN here at Memorial and if it’s alright with you, I’m just going to take a look and we’ll find out exactly how far along you are.” He has a confident, warm smile on his face that somehow puts me at ease. He recovers the vaginal wand thingy and squirts a new globe of lubricant over it. His eyes leave mine for a moment to greet Jacob and then he pats my leg. “Here we go. Try to relax.”
I do try. I blow out a breath and force my legs to relax. My hands still hold tight to Jacob’s and he’s still holding just as tightly to me. Instead of watching the screen this time, I focus on Jacob’s features. His strong jaw and straight nose. The set of his intense eyes as he watches the new doctor insert the wand. He’s a beautiful man and I can’t help but smile as I watch the tick in his jaw. He’s nervous, too.
“Ah, Kate was right. She has a pretty good eye, ya know?” I pull my gaze from Jacob’s face and feel my brows pinching together.
“Right about what?” Jacob and I ask at the same time, he’s leaning over me now to get a better look at the grey and white triangle on the screen.
“See here?” The doctor grins. His finger points to our little black bean. “This is baby A.” My heart stops as he shifts his finger over a little and adjusts the wand inside of me. There’s more pressure in my lower belly as he tries to get a clear picture. “And this little sac is baby B.”
“Baby B?” I shake my head. “What does that mean?” I know what it means, I’m not stupid but I can’t wrap my mind around this possibility after only finding out moments ago that I was pregnant with one child.
“Twins?” Jacob chuckles, unbelievingly, and covers his mouth with one hand. “That means twins?”
“Yes Sir, it does. They are measuring at six weeks, so it’s very early. Sometimes we can hear a heartbeat at this stage and other times we have to wait another week or so. Let’s see if we can hear them today.”
“Twins?” I whisper in shock. I can see them, my two matching black beans on the monitor but still my mind is in denial. Doctor Chase messes with a few settings and then places his hand on my belly and shifts the wand inside of me again. At first all we hear is static, loud, crazy radio static, but then the fast beating of one heart plays out to my ears. So loud and clear that it makes my heart skip its own beat. I laugh and that messes up the sweet sound. “Sorry.” I giggle.
“It’s okay.” Doctor Chase is smiling, too. “Try to be still and we’ll see if we can get baby B to let us hear him or her as well.” I nod my head and squeeze Jacob’s hand. He leans forward and presses a sweet kiss to my temple and then we hear it.
Both beating hearts, racing away. I expect them to be in unison but they aren’t. “Oh my God.” Jacob’s words are brushed over my forehead. His lips still so close to my skin. I turn my head to face him and I can see his eyes glistening. “Are they healthy?” He asks the doctor.
“Everything seems good so far. Twins mean double the trouble, right from the start so we’ll have to keep a close eye on them and mom. I peeked over your chart and just to be safe, I’d like to get you an appointment with a nutritionist. These two will be a big strain on your body that you aren’t used to and you’ll need to fuel your body correctly.” I nod again, feeling less guilty when the words come out of his mouth.
“You said you are the resident OB here, are you accepting patients? Can we get Hannah in with you and your team?” Jacob, always the one to think ahead. Doctor Chase clicks a few more
things, a strip of photos print from the monitor and he removes the wand.
“Of course. We can get all of that set up shortly.” I think of my insurance and how shitty it is. I wonder if seeing this kind man will even be an option. The doctor hands me the pictures and I’m lost in looking at them. The two men talk and I remind myself that my insurance won’t matter because Jacob will find a way to take care of it all. He’ll make sure we have a good doctor and that our sweet bean babies are taken care of.
“It’s been an awfully long day.” I hear Jacob say. “If there isn’t anything else, I’d like to take Hannah home now.”
The doctor hands me a few paper towels and helps me sit up. “You should be good to go. I’ll let you clean up and get dressed then Kate will show you back to your room and I’ll speak with the registration to get your discharge papers set up. I’m also going to prescribe you some prenatal vitamins.” He hands Jacob a business card. “You can call my office in the morning to make our first official appointment. I’d like to see you again, no later than three weeks from today, okay?”
“Sounds good.” Jacob extends his hands and the two men shake hands. Doctor Chase then places his hand on my shoulder and looks me in the eyes.
“It’s normal to be extra emotional, maybe some queasy feelings, even vomiting but unlike the name suggests. Morning sickness doesn’t only happen in the morning. Take it easy and don’t over extend yourself.”
“I’ll make sure she doesn’t.” Jacob adds, making the doctor laugh.
“Good man. You two have a good rest of your night.”
“Thank you.” I shift on the end of the hard bed and Jacob places his hand on my thigh to still me. Kate and Doctor Chase both leave, shutting the door and leaving us alone in the dark room.
“Let me help.” Jacob’s voice is husky and the smile on his face makes my belly feel strange.
“What do you mean?” I smile back. He presses his hands to my shoulders and lays me back down on the hard bed. He spreads my legs and steals the paper towels from my hands. My overly emotional heart beats wildly against my chest. “Jacob!” I whisper hiss through my teeth. “Stop! What are you doing?”
He kisses my inner thigh as he wipes the lube from my pussy. His fingers are soft, but his kisses are demanding. He moves his mouth up my skin, his hands slip up to use the second towel to wipe the gel like lube from my stomach.
“I’m rewarding you for giving me two perfect children for my birthday.” He growls against my pussy mound. Chills race out over my limbs and I’m excited while feeling nervous.
“We can’t do that here!” I giggle.
“Watch me.” He moans and licks over my clit. My thighs jerk at the touch of his perfect tongue and I cover my mouth to keep from moaning. He flicks his tongue around my swelling nub. It feels so good. My belly flutters and I want more. I lift my hips to meet his lips and he takes the hint.
His lips open to suck over my clit while his tongue beats over the pleasure zone. My breathing is quick and ragged as my orgasm rides up to the surface. I can’t hold it back, I don’t want to. Jacob’s hands push at my knees, opening me up wider and I let him.
My back bows as I come in his mouth. He sucks all of my juices, swallowing me quickly and licking me clean again. When the aftershocks fade and I can breathe normally again, he stands. His hands skim up my sides and grips me just under my arms to help me sit up again. His wet mouth kisses my jaw, then my mouth.
I can taste my come and the medical grade lubricant, but it doesn’t matter. I push my tongue between his lips and kiss him with all of the love flooding in my heart. He breaks the kiss slowly, pulling back and removes my panties from his pocket. With a sexy smirk on his swollen lips, Jacob slips my panties up my legs and helps me hop off the bed to pull them over my ass.
My hands reach up to touch my flushed cheeks. They feel as hot as I feel guilty. “I can’t believe you just did that.” I lean into him as he hugs me and together we walk to the door. He kisses my head and chuckles.
“I got carried away in the moment, I couldn’t help myself.” His right hand moves to rest on my belly. “I’m so happy, kitten.”
3
It always boggles my mind, how long you can be in the Emergency Room before being able to leave. Jacob promised the glow to my cheeks would be easily explained by the incredible news we just received. Kate didn’t make any mention of hearing anything strange from outside the door as she walked us back to the curtain cubicle.
Jacob had brought me to the hospital dressed in a pair of his sweat pants and a tee shirt he used to wear in high school. I love that it smells of him when I place it over my head. The fabric is worn and soft against my body. We wait a few more minutes for the prescription from Doctor Chase to be delivered and then another ten minutes for someone to bring my discharge papers. I scrawl my name quickly over the bottom of the papers and thank the nurse again.
All of the worries I had when I knew about baby A, should be double now that there is a baby B. I should be having the biggest heart attack of my life, but I’m not. All I feel is a calm happiness. Jacob’s fingers are entwined around mine as we walk across the dark parking lot. The street lights buzz and the sound of ambulances coming and going ring out in the air. None of it matters to me right now.
Four months ago, I hated my job, my home, I even hated myself. Today I stand here with the most wonderful man I’ve ever met, his children growing in my belly and so much love in my heart, it hurts. I rub my stomach and vow to these two innocents that I’ll do all I can to take care of us. I’ll eat right and love myself as much as Jacob loves me. I make peace with the fact that my body will change and that it will be hard, so very, very hard to handle. Well, I make peace for now. If there’s anything I’ve learned from myself, it’s that I flip flop emotionally like some crazy upside down rollercoaster. Every day will take work, and that’s okay.
“What are you thinking, kitten?” Jacob asks, as he opens the SUV door for me to climb inside. I sit and wiggle backwards.
“That I have to really take care of myself now.” The words come out easily.
“You do.” He agrees. “I’ll be here every step of the way to help, in any way that you need it.” He brings my knuckles to his lips and kisses them before adding. “You only need to let me. I’ll be so much help, you’ll be annoyed with me by tomorrow.” He winks and I laugh.
“Why is that so easy to believe?” I tease.
“Probably because you don’t like to take direction.” He makes a shocked expression to go along with his super sarcasm. I stick my tongue out at him as he shuts the door and walks around the SUV.
Once in the driver’s seat Jacob starts the car, but doesn’t make a move to shift it into gear. “What now?” I speak what I know is on his mind. Where do we go from here? What’s our next move?
“Do you rent or own your house?”
“I own it.” A ripple of uncertainty trickles through me. If he asks me to sell my house, I’ll have no back up plan. No place to run if things go bad. Would I be able to let go of my only life line and trust in him, in us, to make this work?
“You don’t have to make any decisions tonight, kitten.” He turns to look at me and I can see the wheels in his head are spinning just as fast as the ones in my head are. “We have a lot of options. You could rent it, sell it or just keep it. Whatever you choose though, I want you in my home where I can tend to you.”
“I’m not a house plant, Jacob.” His stare gets heated and his nose flares a bit. “I am capable of taking care of myself.”
“No, you aren’t a house plant. You’re my submissive, the mother of my unborn children and my future wife. Do you understand what those things make you?” He grabs my hand and holds it tight, like he’s trying to get his point across. “They make you my responsibility. Mine.” He shakes my hand a little and every movement tugs on my heart strings. “I value your opinions and I want us to be a partnership, but you will always be my responsibility from here on out. You wo
n’t need for anything or have reason to worry because I will have you. Do you understand? I’m not trying to be an overprotective dick, I’m really not. I’m trying to be the man you need. Just let me be that man, Hannah.”
“I guess we’ll both have some adjusting to do, huh?”
“It won’t be as painful as it sounds.” He brings our hands to my belly and rubs our fingers over our babies. “We’ll be a team. A really great team, if you can just trust in your quarterback.” I smile down at our hands and nod my head.
“I don’t understand football but I hear what you’re saying. I trust you, Daddy.”
“Good girl. That’s all I need to hear.”
The castle comes into view, all lit up and magical. My breath catches as I look over the massive house that is now going to be my home. This is my castle and I am its princess, Daddy’s princess. Jacob parks in the garage, beside my beat up, little car and I graze my fingers over the roof as we walk past it into the house. I imagine how two car seats will look in the backseat and how two screaming babies in those car seats will look in the back of my beat up car as I drive it around town.
I stand in the kitchen, barefoot wearing Jacob’s old sweats. So much has changed since I stood in here this afternoon. I hug my arms around myself and think of all the things I’ll need to do now. Move, I’ll have to pack up my little house. Clean up my little house and move. Get married, Jacob says he wants to marry me. Does that mean we’ll plan a wedding before I get too big to fit into a dream wedding dress?
“Kitten?” Jacob calls to me from the stairs, pulling me out of my thoughts.
“Yes?”
“Come to bed with me.” I let my eyes run up and down his body. His normally straight posture is slumped and his clothing is rumpled. This poor sweet man. He traveled across the country this morning, found his lover kissing his housekeeper and then discovered he’s to be a father of not one, but two babies. I pad softly over to his side and he drapes his arm around my shoulder as we climb the stairs. “I should shower, but I’m too tired.” His hand slips down to my lower back as we enter his bedroom. Our bedroom.
