One of my marketing guys moved to stand next to Annie, leaning over her shoulder to look at the storyboard. My jaw set, eyes narrowed, and my hands balled into fists. He took a step back, and Annie's glance flitted up to me for a brief second.
She was so skittish around me, like a colt. Whenever we were in a room together, she got jumpy and tense. I'm sure it had something to do with the way I prowled around her, like a predator circling its prey. I nearly growled when I saw any other man near her.
I know I’d meant to give her space, let her come to me. But there was only so much I could take.
I stayed a little longer, observing and helping myself to a plate as well during their working lunch, but I grew more and more tense. It seemed Annie had smiles for everyone but me. I could still remember her sighs and cries, how she tasted on my tongue. Enough was enough.
At her side, I murmured into her ear, “Come see me when this meeting is over.”
She came to me in about a half an hour. I had a couple of people with me in the office, but they got the boot the minute she appeared.
“You wanted to see me?” She looked like the fulfillment of any man's office fantasy. I could bend her across my desk, pull her skirt up and have her screaming for more in minutes. What was that I'd thought about not pushing it? I needed to let this unfold slowly? That might not happen.
“How are you, Annie?” I approached her.
“Good. Fine. The project is moving along.” She didn't meet my eyes.
“I mean you. How are you doing?”
Her gaze flitted up to mine for a moment, hesitant, wary. “I'm good. Happy.”
“You like your job?”
“I do. Except this one new client is very demanding.”
Cheeky. How I liked that in her. “I can be very demanding,” I agreed. I wasn't talking about the project and we both knew it. Heat flamed on her cheeks and she shifted her weight on her feet. Was she growing uncomfortable in a good or a bad way? After all that time apart, I had to admit I was having some trouble reading her.
“Would you like to have dinner?” I asked, plunging straight in. It was driving me crazy to only see her surrounded by other people all the time, her coworkers, my staff, always in meetings. “I'd love to spend some time with you, take you out. Catch up on everything that’s happened over the past year.”
“I don't think that's a good idea.” She shook her head. “I'm new at Callahan and Spence, and it just wouldn't look good.”
“Screw that, Annie. You've got to come up with a better excuse than that.” After all we’d been through, concern about workplace propriety didn’t seem good enough.
She bit her lip. I wanted to do that for her. But then she whispered, “I can’t.”
“Why not?” I forced myself to keep my voice calm and level.
“You crushed me, Ian. I was devastated. It took me months to recover. Please don’t ask me to go through that again.” She looked up at me, her eyes big and pleading.
Cursing, I stepped over to the window, raking a hand through my hair. I had been an asshole. She had good reason to be wary, to distrust me. She’d seen me at my absolute worst. Hell, I’d understand if she’d never trust me again.
I said the only words I could. “I’m sorry, Annie. I never meant to hurt you.”
But they weren't enough, as I'd known they wouldn't be. “I know you didn't. You were hurting so much yourself. But I just can’t.”
“I understand.” I walked over to her and I swear I meant to give her some sort of a handshake. My intention was to let her go, show her I understood and respected her wishes. But standing close, her body so ripe and soft, those eyes still looking up at me full of emotion, my arms wrapped around her. My lips found hers, sinking down into her as I'd wanted from the moment I'd seen her again. Dipping her back, I caught her full in a kiss. Her hands reached up to wrap around my shoulders, clinging to me, her mouth opening and she kissed me back. My tongue explored hers, plundering, stroking, and she moaned in my arms, pressing her body full against my length.
A sharp knock at my office door broke us apart. “Mr. Douglas? Your two o'clock is here to see you. You haven't answered your phone.”
I swore under my breath. This was a meeting I had to take. Our family had plenty of money to back our brand all by ourselves, but it was part of my growth strategy to bring on more funders, getting their skin in the game so they'd help with reaching a broader audience. Two o'clock had deep pockets. Hands around her waist, I looked deep into her eyes. “Annie—” I began, but she didn’t let me get anywhere.
“That shouldn't have happened.” She pulled away, her eyes downcast as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and shook her head with resolution and regret. “That can't happen again.” She left the room. The harder I tried to grasp, the more she slipped through my fingers.
* * *
§
* * *
Early that evening, I got a call from Jax. “You're coming, right man?”
“Yeah, of course.” I told him honestly about my plans. I'd already reserved the plane and in two weeks I would definitely be back in the states, combining a business trip to New York with his wedding weekend on Naugatuck. I winced at his question though. He had reason to doubt me. Last summer I’d missed my own sister’s wedding. Some things you couldn’t do over. I felt like shit about it.
Sophie and Liam had gotten married a couple weeks after Annie had left me. I’d planned to ask her to come with me, be by my side as I saw all those people I used to know, returning to the scene of the accident. I hadn’t been back to Naugatuck for years. For me, the place was haunted.
After Annie left, I couldn’t face it. I’d told Sophie I was skipping her wedding while drunk via voicemail. My little sister. Liam had called and tried to change my mind. It hadn’t worked.
Sophie was a saint, though. She’d visited me while I was undergoing treatments in New York. She told me she forgave me. I just couldn’t forgive myself.
“Can't wait to see you, man. I hear from Sophie you’re doing good.”
“Yeah, that's right.”
“And you’re…” He trailed off, even tough-as-nails Jax feeling awkward over asking me directly. But I knew what was on his mind. He'd been the one on the boat with me when the mast had fallen across my back.
“Yeah, I'm walking. I had reconstructive surgery and it worked.”
“That's amazing.” Emotion broke through his deep voice.
“I'm happy for you, Jax. Can't wait to meet Sky.”
“It means a lot, you being a groomsman.” I knew he'd carried a burden of guilt with him for years after the accident. Maybe he still did.
“Don't get soft with me man,” I teased. The last person in the world anyone could accuse of being soft was 6’3” Jax, with his shaved head, tattoos and custom motorcycles. But I knew, he had a lot more emotional depth than some might guess. He'd been a good friend to me even when I didn't deserve it. I’d proven myself a bad bet, missing my own sister's wedding last summer, but Jax still made me a groomsman. I guessed that’s what being a true friend was, betting on you even when the odds didn’t look good. This time, I planned on coming through.
After we hung up, I did my workout, ate dinner, then unwound, listening to music and reading a new book about marketing strategy. But the text was dry, and my thoughts kept pulling me back to Annie. I'd skipped one wedding because she couldn't be by my side. Now I planned on going to another, yet still I wouldn't have her with me.
Or maybe I could?
I remembered Annie had once told me she dreamed of traveling to New York City. I had a lot of important business to do across the pond, relationships to be forged, deals to be made. Having a team with me would surely help.
I might need some company on my upcoming business trip. And the wedding weekend? Perhaps we could very much mix business with pleasure.
19
Annie
Standing in my bra and panties with a full-length mirror propped ag
ainst the wall in the shared bedroom of my flat, I realized I had no idea what to pack. I hadn't found out I was going on a business trip until this morning, and we were supposed to leave tomorrow. Greg had been planning on going with Deirdre, but then at the last minute he backed out. He seemed awfully strange at the office today, avoiding everyone and sulky. Deirdre asked me to go instead.
Of course I wanted to go. New York? I’d dreamed of heading there ever since I'd watched When Harry Met Sally as a kid, but I had no idea what to pack. What should I wear for a flurry of business meetings leading into evening events in a fast-paced American city to promote an alcohol brand, not to mention an unspecified semi-formal that weekend? Dad's old jumpers wouldn't do. I'd gotten by so far at Callahan and Spence by purchasing a couple of nice tops and a killer pair of high heels, but mostly I’d been borrowing heavily from a flatmate’s wardrobe. It looked like I was going to have to put myself in her hands once again.
Thank God for generous friends with the same build. I tried on several dresses that didn’t belong to me, deciding my favorite was silvery and floaty, strapless and ending high on my thigh. It might be a bit much for business, but for those meetings I could wear a jacket. Then at night, I could take it off.
Striking a pose in the mirror, I wondered if I'd see Ian while wearing it. I didn't know if he would be on this business trip. Filling in at the last minute, I knew next to nothing about our itinerary, but beggars couldn't be choosers. I didn't want to pester higher-ups with questions when I was so grateful to have been asked to go along. To think, just a little over a year ago I'd had next to nothing on my resume, only a patchwork of jobs unrelated to my real interests. Now here I was about to get on a plane and go on a business trip with an advertising agency and a client. I had to call my mom and squeal about it.
“And will you get a chance to walk to Central Park?” I could hear a smile in my mom's voice as we chatted about my trip.
“I don’t know. This is all so last-minute. I've barely had a chance to glance at the itinerary and it looks packed.”
“I bet you’ll eat at all sorts of swanky restaurants.”
“All on the company tab.”
“I'm so happy for you honey.”
“I'll bring back gifts for all of you. Is Liv still crazy for Abercrombie and Fitch?” Last I’d visited, she'd been wild over the expensive American clothing brand.
“Still crazy.”
“I'll see what I can do.”
“Don't worry about us. You've done enough of that already. Go and have an amazing time. I'm so proud. Look at you, you've only been in Edinburgh a year and you're already going off on a business trip to America. I wish your dad…” Her voice broke off with emotion.
“I know, Mom.” My voice broke up as well. “Me too.”
We said our goodbyes, and after the call ended, I sat for a moment in silence. I wondered if I should have mentioned Ian to her. We'd had some conversations about him in the past, but they'd mostly been of the variety where I vented, and she commiserated. Ian had not been high on our list of favorite people after I'd left his employ. Mum might be worried if I told her how our paths had crossed again. Frankly, she should be. I felt worried.
I could feel myself falling for him all over again. Our offices were only a few blocks away, and our team was forging full steam ahead on their account, frequently over on their turf. I saw him several times a week now, and it was making me crazy to be so close to him yet not close at all. Whenever he entered the room, I felt an electric charge. I'd always felt that way about Ian. Even when he'd been a drunk, disheveled mess, he’d still drawn me to him like no other man. Now that he was in command, a powerful and handsome CEO? It was not easy to keep my feelings in check.
That kiss in his office had swept me right back where we’d left off. It had felt so maddeningly good to be in his arms again. I'd melted into him, my mind going blank to all but the sensation of how amazing it felt. Everything in me yearned to be with him again, desperately cried out to stop fighting the attraction.
That was why I had to be careful. If he was on this business trip, I had to keep my guard up. No man had the capacity to crush me like Ian Douglas. He seemed like a changed man, but we'd gone through that cycle before. In the past he'd proven himself unreliable, and mean to boot. I deserved more. He might have changed, but I had to be cautious. I never wanted to get hurt like that again.
Deirdre and I flew over on the same flight. The company had booked us, or should I say Deirdre and Greg, in first class seats. I had a hard time not giggling with excitement over the luxury of it all. It was like I had my own personal waitress, popping by to ask if I needed anything, giving me a hot towel, offering me free magazines as if she trusted me to not walk away with them. She was wrong on that count. They even offered unlimited alcohol, and I enjoyed a couple of glasses of wine. I was about to drift off when Deirdre's sharp voice cut in with a warning.
“Be careful with Ian,” she said sharply, as if we'd already been discussing the subject.
“Excuse me?” I sat up in my seat. I wasn't even sure that I'd heard correctly.
“Ian Douglas. He asked for you to come on this trip.”
“Oh, I didn't know.”
“There are a lot of ways to climb the corporate ladder. Don't do it that way. Believe me.”
I blushed, even though I had nothing to hide. Nothing had happened between me and Ian while I'd been working on this account. Except that kiss in his office. But I'd immediately told him that it couldn't happen again.
“There's nothing going on,” I assured her.
She nodded, opening up a magazine, indicating that she’d dropped the subject even if she didn't quite believe me.
After that, it took a little longer to fall asleep. Ian had asked for me to come along? Now that I knew that, I was of course wildly curious whether or not he would be joining us in New York. I couldn't ask Deidre that, though. I’d definitely sound too eager and she’d be way too suspicious. But it looked like there was a good chance he would be. That shouldn't make me excited, what with all my resolutions for distance coupled with Deirdre's watchful, disapproving eye. But I couldn't help it. I couldn't wait to see him.
* * *
§
* * *
I'd never had four days pass more quickly. Now I understood the expression “as fast as a New York minute.” The city that never slept surrounded me in a whirlwind, as Deirdre and I shuttled from one meeting to the next at all hours of the day and night. Together with Douglas Distillery’s marketing team, we worked on getting Douglas Scotch featured at premiere hotels and restaurants, meeting with distributors and executives from professional associations.
I was in over my head, but I loved every second of it. Everyone was so interesting. They had such strong accents and seemed to think I had one as well. I might not have added too much to the conversation in the way of business content, but all the New Yorkers did seem to get a kick out of meeting what they termed the original Scottish lass.
“I think you should become the new face of our label,” one of the Douglas Distillery guys ribbed me as we went out to yet another restaurant. “You’re charming the pants off of everyone we meet.”
“I don't know about that,” I said. “But anything would be an improvement over Aengus Douglas.” That made everyone laugh. The old man's grizzled visage was enough to scare people away. It was better than a poison warning on a bottle of bleach—don't drink the scotch you'll wind up looking like him.
“We’ll change that up soon enough,” Deirdre chimed in. We actually had a bunch of good new ideas we were getting ready to pitch. My face was not one of them. But it was interesting to leave Scotland and realize how provincial everyone thought I was. Come to think of it, they were right. I was Scottish through and through, and I did love my home, but leaving it was opening my eyes to how big the world really was.
Ian joined us from time to time, but never for long. We never got a bloody second to ourselves. I knew
I wasn't supposed to be wanting that, but it was getting frustrating to not even get to have one real conversation with him. We'd lived together, after all, just the two of us in a big, drafty castle. He knew more about me than anyone other than my immediate family. I’d bet the same was true for him. I'd certainly grilled him during all those sessions on the couch. And he'd given me quite a lot in exchange as well.
Naughty thoughts kept surfacing, unbidden. I'd be socializing at a nightclub, talking to a New Yorker, and I'd catch Ian’s eye down a few people at the bar. He'd be watching me with smoldering eyes, such intensity in his stare it made me catch my breath. But then when I’d look for him again, he'd be gone.
I understood he was the CEO and he was in demand. Those days when he'd had nothing on his agenda and no one but me to keep him company were gone. I couldn’t help it, though. Even though I had my dream job and was loving every minute of the trip, I still missed him more and more with each passing day.
Thursday night, our last in New York, I was at a nightclub sitting next to a sharply thin Manhattanite who was talking a mile a minute. Ian came to join our party, standing tall and dark, commanding all of our attention. Looking at him, she leaned in and whispered in my ear, “I wanna break me off a piece of that.” I nearly socked her in the jaw.
Ian got absorbed with some gorgeous, glamorous city girl and jealousy continued to surge through me strong and hot. Fed up with waiting around for him, I headed out on the dance floor. One too many drinks loosened my inhibitions. Brash and aggressive New York men got all up on me, their hands around my waist, grinding against me in the crowded space.
All I Need: Ian & Annie Page 20
