Every Last Breath

by Jennifer L. Armentrout

  Her gaze darted from him to me, and she then took another step back while Nicolai moved in closer. “Anyway, it was wrong. You would never purposely hurt Zayne or anyone else.”

  Well, the thing was, I had hurt Zayne, even if not physically, and there was no mistaking that. I had to believe that she knew. When I glanced at him again, he still hadn’t looked in my direction. Feeling icky about that, I refocused. “Thank you, Danika, I...um, I appreciate that.” I turned to Nicolai and Dez. “And I owe you guys everything, too. Thank you for finding Roth and helping me get out of that warehouse. You all helped save my life.”

  And that was true.

  Because of them, I was standing today. Instead of going along with Abbot, they had found Roth and stood against their own clan at great personal risk to save me.

  “It’s good to see that you’re recovered,” Dez said, and I smiled.

  “I second that. I’ve known you most of your life, little one, and I never once believed you were responsible for what was happening at the compound or outside of it,” Nicolai added, and I got warm and fuzzy on the inside. “You might be glad to know that the place is hardly trouble-free with you gone. We still haven’t managed to exorcise Petr’s wraith. Whenever we try, he senses it and leaves the house.”

  “He’s proving to be as much of a jackass as he was in real life,” Dez commented, proving that Elijah’s son, my half brother, had not been well liked. He paused. “Jasmine says hi, by the way.”

  “Tell her hi from me,” I replied lamely, and like an idiot, I raised my hand and wiggled my fingers.

  Dez grinned as he looked away, something he often did around me. I sort of wanted to jab myself in the eyes with my jazz fingers.

  “What happened?” Zayne finally spoke, and when he did, my gaze swung to him. He was staring at Roth, and that made my stomach twist painfully. “The text said there was an incident with Elijah and not to trust him?”

  Nicolai crossed his arms along his chest as he tucked his wings back. Remaining in his Warden form, like the other two, he was an impressive sight. “We have never trusted Elijah.” His eyes were focused on me. “His beliefs and actions have always been a source of discontent among us.”

  “Well.” Roth drew the word out. “Elijah isn’t going to be a source of much of anything anymore.”

  All the Wardens’ gazes shot to him, and his tight-lipped grin spread. “Details would be nice,” Zayne demanded, the cool breeze tossing fair strands around his dark horns.

  I waded in before the conversation went downhill. “Elijah is...he’s no more,” I explained, and then rushed on when I heard Dez’s sharp curse. “We didn’t kill him.”

  “Not that we didn’t try,” Roth amended, and when I shot him a look, he shrugged. “Why lie, Shortie? We were out searching for the Lilin—”

  “We are handling that,” Zayne cut in, his chin rising.

  “Sure you are,” Roth replied, and although that was a taunt, I knew he was capable of far more when it came to being an asshole to Zayne. This was watered down. “And how’s that going for you all?”

  Zayne’s jaw worked as if he were going to grind down every one of his teeth. When there was no immediate response, Roth threw out, “Any leads? Nope. Didn’t think so.”

  I shifted my weight from foot to foot while Dez narrowed his eyes and Danika started staring at the floor of the rooftop.

  “Anyway, as I was saying, we were out searching for the Lilin when Layla saw Elijah. He and three other clan members were tracking us from the rooftops. We confronted them and they attacked.”

  “He still wants me dead,” I explained. “Nothing new there.”

  Zayne glanced in my direction, but didn’t make eye contact. “So what happened?”

  “Well, Bambi ate one of the Wardens. So kind of not sorry about that,” Roth went on, and Bambi flicked her tail along my hip, as if she was happy at the shout-out. I squeezed my eyes shut briefly. “I sort of put another out of commission. Permanently. Self-defense. I swear.”

  “I’m sure of that,” Nicolai murmured as he moved to stand slightly in front of Danika.

  She didn’t appear all that bothered. “If they were from his clan, they won’t be missed.”

  “Danika,” Dez admonished.

  “What?” She threw her hands up. “It’s the truth. They’re all jackasses. We all know that.”

  Nicolai’s lips twitched. “What happened to the third Warden?”

  “He was taking a nap on the rooftop when we left him. Not sure if he’s woken up or some demon has come along and done bad, bad things to him.” Roth shrugged again. “Don’t know. Don’t care.”

  “And Elijah?” Zayne asked, his voice tight.

  I drew in a deep breath as I reached up, pushing the loose hair back from my face. “I was fighting him—”

  “You were fighting Elijah?” Nicolai’s brows flew up.

  “Uh. Yeah?”

  Danika smiled broadly. “Awesome.”

  I shook my head. “The Lilin showed up and got between us. It took Elijah’s soul—it consumed it. There was no wraith. Nothing left, and then the Lilin changed its appearance.”

  “It looks like Elijah now,” Roth tacked on. “That’s why Layla thought it would be a smart idea to warn you. The other Warden that was with him, if that Warden is still alive, was out cold when the Lilin took Elijah’s soul. He would have no idea that isn’t the real Elijah if the Lilin goes back to the clan.”

  “Damn,” muttered Dez. “I’m not sure if we know where they are holed up here to warn them. Perhaps Geoff knows.”

  Nicolai’s expression turned thoughtful. “If not, I have a feeling Abbot might have an idea.”

  I cringed inwardly at the mention of Abbot’s name, but forged on. “Like I said, we wanted to warn you all, just in case it tries to go to the compound.” The next part was the worst. “Based on how the Lilin was able to pull off a Sam impersonation so convincingly, I think the Lilin gets the person’s memories when it consumes the soul.”

  “That makes sense,” Danika said, glancing back at the males. “The soul is the essence, the very core of our beings. It would hold everything.”

  Nicolai exhaled roughly. “If that’s the case, then the Lilin would know a lot.”

  “Too much,” Zayne stated, and started to turn, his deep gray wings unfurling. “We need to talk to my father and the others.”

  Dez and Nicolai agreed with the statement. Danika lingered, glancing between Roth and me. “Don’t be a stranger,” she said, voice low. “Okay? We all need to work together if we’re going to stop that thing.”

  I nodded, feeling weird as I watched them. It was hard to think of a time when Zayne was leaving somewhere, and I wasn’t going with him. As the Wardens turned, I stepped forward. Although deep down I knew I should just let them go—let him go—I couldn’t stop myself. There were too many years between us to simply pretend we were strangers.

  “Zayne?” I called out.

  He was at the ledge when I spoke his name, and I thought I saw his shoulders bunch, but he knelt, and then launched himself into the sky without looking back.

  Without acknowledging me.

  eleven

  NIGHT HAD FALLEN by the time we made it to the Palisades to meet up with Cayman.

  The club under Roth’s apartment building was packed with demons, as well as humans with dark, murky auras surrounding them. There was a bit of churning in my stomach, but nothing substantial. Sultry music thrummed as the succubi swayed their diamond-covered hips on the stage. They shimmered and twinkled like the Christmas lights strung across the ceiling.

  The Christmas lights were ironic, all things considered.

  Roth’s hand was firmly wrapped around mine as he led me around the stage. As we passed the darkened corners, I strained to see what was going on in there, but all I could make out was another card game between a female demon and a human who wasn’t looking too hot, if the yellowish tint to his skin was any indication.

&
nbsp; One of the dancers in the cage reached out to me, and then giggled wildly when Roth shot her a warning scowl. His hand tightened around mine. “I’m not going to wander off on you,” I said to him. Last time we’d been there, he’d told me not to dance with anyone, and, well, I ended up dancing with a succubus and an incubus. Sometimes I needed an adult.

  His laugh traveled over the music. “I’m really not taking any chances right now.”

  “Right now?”

  Letting go of my hand, he draped his arm over my shoulders and tucked me against his side as we made our way around the tables. He lowered his head, brushing his lips against my cheek, and then he said into my ear, “Have I told you how much I love those pants?”

  “Huh?” Glancing down, I bit back a groan. They were skintight, and I’d practically had to lie down this morning to zip them up. “Your and Cayman’s taste in clothing sucks.”

  He chuckled. “I cannot stop staring at your—”

  “Eyes?” I suggested helpfully.

  “Mmm.” He kissed my earlobe as we finally passed the stage.

  “How about my nose?”

  “Not quite,” he replied.

  I grinned. “You must be checking out my kneecaps then.”

  “Closer.” He paused as we neared the bar. “Later, I can give you a hands-on explanation of what I’ve been staring at all day.”

  My cheeks flushed. “You’re so helpful.”

  “What can I say? You bring out my altruistic side.”

  Cayman stepped out from behind the bar before I could respond to that last statement, tossing the white rag on the counter. “Let’s hit the office.”

  I’d never seen the office before, so I was curious. Cayman led us through a door just outside the bar that read EMPLOYEES ONLY, but someone had scratched out all the letters except three, leaving LOL behind.

  Nice.

  The hallway was narrow, lit by actual torches shoved into wall sconces. “Interesting decorating choice,” I said.

  Cayman grinned as Roth closed the door behind us, cutting off the hum of music. “My sugar bear, you know we like all flair.”

  Roth snorted.

  The office was the third door down and the room wasn’t at all like I expected; and to be honest, I wasn’t even sure what I expected, but definitely not this. The space was decked out in pale colors—robin’s egg blue walls, white desk and empty bookshelf. A fuzzy pink chair was sitting in front of the desk, next to a leopard print recliner. A gray leather couch was against the wall. Above it was a giant framed photo of One Direction.

  And it was signed by all the members, even the one who’d left.

  My mouth dropped open.

  “I did not decorate this office,” Roth explained, seeing the look on my face.

  Cayman dropped into a rather normal-looking chair behind the desk and kicked his feet up. “He wanted black. Black walls. Black furniture. Blah. Blah. I like a little color every now and then.”

  Keeping my opinion to myself, I shuffled over to the couch and plopped down.

  Before we hit the club, I’d sent Stacey a text, explaining what happened while Roth filled Cayman in. In return she sent a lot of exclamation points and a slew of frownie faces over what had happened with Elijah. Though she knew there was absolutely no love lost between him and me, she also knew that seeing Elijah die hadn’t been easy.

  And knowing that whatever part of him remained outside of the Lilin was in Hell also didn’t sit well. I hated the dude, but an eternity in Hell, among creatures he’d helped put there, couldn’t be a walk in a park.

  Worse yet, now that I saw what had happened with Elijah, I knew what had gone down with Sam, and I felt sick to my core. Somewhere out there was Sam’s body, cold and forgotten, and I already knew where whatever was left of his soul was.

  I didn’t want to think about any of that, but I couldn’t stop myself. My thoughts would move to one thing, and then bounce back to Sam, to what had happened to him.

  After Roth finished up with Cayman, I jumped up from the couch. “Can we go up to your loft instead of going back to the house?”

  “If that’s what you want,” he said, pushing off from where he’d been leaning against the desk. “I doubt the Wardens will come looking for us now. It will be safe.”

  Relieved to hear that, I knew I’d be happy to see the loft again. I was feeling a little nostalgic, and I actually preferred it over the massive home in Maryland. Sure, the McMansion had nice features and all, but it was too big and felt cold, formal.

  Cayman tweaked my nose as he walked past, heading out the office door. “I’ll send some greasy goodness up.”

  My stomach grumbled, reminding me that I hadn’t eaten since that morning. We had to take the stairs since the elevators only went down, like down there, and by the time I’d hoofed it all the way to the top floor, I kind of wished I had climbed onto Roth’s back.

  The little teacup hounds weren’t guarding the door. “Where are your friends?”

  “It’s feeding time,” he said. “You don’t need to know more than that.”

  Yikes.

  When Roth opened his loft, warm air greeted us. He stepped in, flipping on the lights, and I walked into the middle of the room, looking around.

  “Everything looks like it used to,” I said, eyeing the massive king-size bed. Black sheets were smoothed and tucked in, and as I looked toward the door that led up to the rooftop, I saw that not a single speck of dust tarnished the piano. The morbid paintings of fire and dark shadows were still precisely hung.

  Roth moved over to the bookshelf full of ancient, boring-looking tomes and kicked off his shoes. “No one would change it.”

  “Someone has been keeping it clean, though.”

  “Cayman.”

  That made sense, I supposed.

  “Did you expect it to look different?” he asked, tugging his shirt off his head.

  My mouth dried like it had the first time I stood in his loft and watched him do that. His body was a chiseled piece of art. “I... I guess I did.”

  His lashes lowered and his smile was smug, as if he knew I’d been more than momentarily distracted by him. “We have been gone from here for what feels like forever. Hasn’t been that long, though.”

  Roth was right.

  But so much had changed since then. I had changed, so it was weird to see something untouched from...from before. He brushed his hand over his sternum, down to the belt on his jeans, near the colorful dragon tattoo, and something about the movement hollowed out my stomach. I drew in a stuttered breath. His lashes lifted and heated amber eyes met mine.

  The heady tension was there, pulling and tugging us toward one another. It had always been there between us, and it wasn’t weakening.

  Three shadows drifted off his body, slowly floating to the floor. They solidified into the form of the kittens. Two of them immediately darted under the bed. The third—Thor—trotted over to me, rubbed up against my leg, purring like a mini engine, and then also disappeared under the bed without drawing my blood, which was an improvement.

  “I wonder what they do under there.”

  Roth raised one broad shoulder. “I actually don’t want to know.”

  “That’s probably a wise choice.” I moved to the bed and sat on the corner, tugging off my boots. “I’m glad we’re here. I’ve missed this place.”

  He smiled slightly as I pulled my feet off the floor, not trusting those damn kittens even if they were playing nice with me right now. “It does have its charm.”

  I started to respond, but Roth took a moment to stretch and there was just something about seeing all that muscle and skin working together fluidly that made me lose complete track of my thoughts.

  “What something to drink?” he asked.

  Mute, I shook my head.

  As he lowered his arms, he prowled over to the black mini fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. Screwing off the cap, he took a healthy drink before placing the bottle down. Then he faced me.