As the Court continued to rescue humans from prisons, more free humans heard about the encampment in the jungle and found their way to Elijah’s refuge. The tunnels were now cramped, which made life uncomfortable at times but this was good for their blood supply.
Teller could not help but chuckle at the old lady. However, his amusement was soon replaced by impatience as he went back to pacing.
It seemed as if hours had passed but in reality it was no more than twenty minutes.
“Fetch me some of that lovely brew you make,” Tomoc said.
In a flash Teller was off to make tea — his specialty.
Teller tapped his foot as the crone sipped her tea. She appeared to be enjoying Teller’s anxious frustration. Finally, Teller could not contain himself any longer. “You have to send me back to … wherever it was. I have to find out what he wants. I have to see him again.”
“Yes, it is a wonderful gift but it must be earned.”
“Do whatever you did last night and I will be able to speak with him.”
“I already told you. It doesn’t work that way. It took all my energy to bring you back from the other side last night. Going is easier, leaving is difficult. If I had not spent much energy you would not be here now. We have lost many to the allure of the other side.”
Teller shook his head. “Then let me stay with him.”
“Your work here is not done. Besides, then you could not bring back his important message.”
Sergiu was gone, Val was out of his life — again. He felt as if he had nothing. He wanted to be with Sergiu.
Tomoc looked at him pointedly, as if she could read his thoughts. What about Abdullah and the twins? Teller still had many men who cared about him — who followed him. What about them? Teller was not entirely sure if he had thought this or if the crone had whispered it.
“Others rely on you,” she said.
Teller nodded. “Please teach me what I need to do to find him and return.”
“You are smart and wise, so perhaps it can be done. Be warned — it takes most a generation or more to learn what I have learned.”
“I can do it. I will make it back to Sergiu.”
She smiled. “That’s the spirit you’ll need. Now you should call me, ‘Teacher.’”
Teller nodded. He knew that the word teacher, in her language, meant much more than it did in English. It was a title of great respect. It implied a spiritual master.
Chapter 47 South America 2034 A.D
After a month Teller was beyond frustrated. He knew nothing of meditation. He could not concentrate hard enough. “Focus on how Sergiu makes you feel,” Tomoc would say.
Teller could think of many words, regret, longing, lonely …
“Not the words — the feelings themselves,” she said as if she were speaking to a child.
“That doesn’t make sense. Words and feelings are the same thing.”
“No. Words are words and feelings are feelings.”
Teller gave a hopeless moan. “Is there a CliffsNotes version or something? Maybe I’m not cut out for this? None of this makes sense. You don’t make sense.”
She frowned at him. “You’re capable of great things. I can see it.” She took a deep breath. “Think of how it felt to see him the last time.”
This was not a memory that Teller wanted to relive in detail but if his teacher said it was necessary, he had to try.
She slapped Teller upside the head. “Not the bloody, headless time. When you saw him on the other side.”
“Oh.” Teller said and closed his eyes again. Tomoc could enter his mind. She could read his thoughts and speak to him. It didn’t feel intrusive. She was in Teller’s head only to guide him. She did not judge him for his past.
Teller’s heart beat faster as the fuzzy figures started speeding by him. I’m doing it!
“That’s better,” Tomoc whispered.
Teller scarcely made out Sergiu’s face when he was suddenly ripped back to this world. “What are you doing? I found him!”
“That’s the first step. Now the hard part,” Tomoc said.
“We haven’t even gotten to the hard part yet?” Teller put his face in his hands and moaned.
“You found the object you desire. Now you have to find a way to leave your desire.”
“How in the hell do I do that?”
“You will need to be able to focus on your reasons to come back. This sounds easy but with the temptation of the other side it will not be so.”
“That’s simple enough. I only have a few reasons to come back. There’s Abdullah and the twins.”
“Again, the first step.”
“And Vallachia.”
“And…”
“My other men.”
“Those are the obvious ones.”
Teller took a deep breath. “And Elijah.”
“Closer.”
Only one image was in Teller’s mind — Riddick. “No. You mean to tell me that in order to pull myself away from my oldest and dearest friend I have to think of my nemesis ... This is the only way I will be able to return?”
Tomoc crossed her arms in front of her bare chest and smiled.
Teller was no longer bothered by her nudeness. “Shit.”
This caused her smile to widen.
“That’s why I could not let you rush into this. You still have much work to do.”
Teller got to his feet and stormed out. I hate Riddick and he hates me. That’s simply the way it is. There’s nothing I can do about that.
Teller spent another sleepless night. The next morning he glared at Riddick across the morning campfire, where a feast of eggs and potatoes were being cooked for the humans.
Riddick is standing in my way. It was Riddick’s fault Teller could not see Sergiu. He knew what his teacher would say, “Is it his fault or yours?”
Teller was restless throughout the day, like a boy who had a huge school project due yet had no idea where to begin. He had to confront Riddick, to make amends, he supposed. What do I do? I can’t simply walk up to him and say, “Hey, will you be my friend?”
By the time the evening chores of closing up camp were done, Teller had still not found his courage. Now it was too late as they were trapped underground until sun-up. It would be difficult to get Riddick alone in the crowded tunnels. Once again, Teller could not sleep.
As people headed out for the day, Teller followed after Riddick. Teller was determined to get this over with. He had postponed the inevitable long enough. Every day wasted was another day he didn’t get to see Sergiu. Even if he didn’t succeed he had to give it his best. “May I have a word with you?”
“What is it?” Riddick asked.
“I mean, alone.” Teller looked around at all the people and vampires moving about.
Riddick narrowed his eyes. “I have to head out on patrol.”
“I know. It won’t take long.”
Teller led Riddick away from the camp.
Riddick crossed his arms. “What’s this about?”
Teller frequently made that same gesture. He slowly crossed his arms in front of his chest and it was almost as if he were looking in a mirror but it was Riddick he stared at, not himself. Teller suddenly laughed as he was beginning to see something he had never noticed — or accepted — before.
“What’s the matter with you?” Riddick asked.
“Don’t you see it? Everyone is forever telling us how much we resemble each other and I don’t think they mean only our appearance but our personalities as well.”
“That’s ridiculous. I am nothing like you,” Riddick spat.
“I always told myself that as well. But in actuality it’s not that we’re too different from each other to get along. It’s that we’re too alike to get along.”
“You’re speaking nonsense. You’re spending entirely too much time with that nutty old lady. She has clearly gotten into your head. I recommend staying away from her before she permanently screws up your mind. Now, if you
will excuse me, I have to get to work.”
“I too prefer to work rather than face uncomfortable thoughts.”
Riddick narrowed his eyes and turned to leave.
“Riddick, wait. One last thing.”
Riddick paused, although Teller could see that he was tense, as if fighting the urge to run or punch Teller in the nose.
“Where did we go wrong?” Teller asked.
Riddick looked confused.
“I mean, for centuries, since the first time we meet, we have loathed each other. Do you remember why?”
Riddick looked at the ground. He slowly scratched his head. He was searching through centuries of memories for an answer. “I have no idea. Why does this matter to you all of a sudden? We have never gotten along and we never will. That’s the way it is. It’s not important.”
“It must be important. It’s a riddle I must solve.”
“Well, good luck with that.” Before Riddick was out of earshot he yelled. “Tell your new girlfriend I said, ‘Hi’.”
“Screw you!” Teller yelled back. Teller plopped down on the damp forest floor. Very little sunlight found its way through the thick trees. Teller closed his eyes. The songs of numerous birds were overwhelmingly loud, especially for a vampire. There were too many different types of songs to count.
Teller was on the verge of an insight; he could feel it. He knew now that his mission was not to win Riddick over — per se. Riddick is right — we will never get along and that’s okay. What is it then?
The image of Riddick standing in front of him with his arms crossed appeared in Teller’s mind only this time there was an elegant golden mirror frame in between Teller and Riddick. Teller had always thought Riddick was arrogant, selfish and power hungry.
“And…” he could almost hear his teacher pushing him farther.
“And I can be all of those things as well.” How many times had Riddick called him arrogant, which was usually followed by the word ass. Sure, Teller and Riddick had both matured over the years. They were not the same vampires they had been in their youth.
The reason I hate him is because he reminds me of the parts of myself that I don’t like. The parts I want to keep hidden. The parts I wish I didn’t have. That is it! When Teller looked at Riddick, he was seeing all the things he hated about himself. Riddick was an irritating reminder of who Teller once was and who he could still be at times.
“There — I did it. I admit that I don’t like myself.” Yet he knew his work was not done. “So I can be an arrogant controlling jerk, now what?” Letting this in made Teller feel empty. I despise Riddick because I despise myself. It’s dreadful to realize that you don’t like yourself — the one person you can’t get away from. Utter dismay was consuming Teller.
“Look again,” he heard Tomoc’s voice, even though she was not there.
“I don’t want to look at myself. I’m a wretched person,” Teller said out loud, even though he was alone.
“Are you sure?” Tomoc pointed to the “Riddick” in the “mirror”. “Tell me what you see now.”
Teller slowly raised his head and peered into the mirror in his mind. This time Riddick looked different — somehow. “There’s good in him as well. Riddick is strong and brave. He’s loyal to his friends and his cause. He has learned to care deeply for others.”
“And…”
“I’m all of those things too.” Teller could feel the overwhelming dismay start to recede.
“What next?” Tomoc tested him.
“I don’t know.”
“Think — feel?”
“I have to accept all parts of myself. I have to learn to love them all; the good as well as the terrible.”
Teller could almost see Tomoc smile with pride.
“Come to me when you have done this.” Her voice rang in his head.
Chapter 48 South America 2034 A.D
When Teller opened his eyes it was almost dark. He slowly made his way back to the tunnels. He watched Riddick in the common area talking with Jack. For the first time, Teller did not feel irritation or hatred. Teller fully understood Riddick and himself. Teller was content with all the parts of himself. Riddick no longer reminded Teller of the horrible parts buried inside, the parts he wished to ignore. Teller not only acknowledged the darkness within, he had fully accepted it. The darkness would never completely disappear and that too was fine.
Riddick glanced at Teller. Teller smiled warmly. Riddick rolled his eyes and shook his head. He clearly thought Teller had gone mad and maybe Teller had.
Teller appeared at his teacher’s door. “I’m ready.”
She had fully expected him and simply nodded.
He sat in front of her and crossed his legs.
“You have done much work in a short time. You are a good student. I’m proud of you.”
It did not feel like a short time to Teller. It felt as if eons had passed since he first saw Sergiu on the other side. “Do I get a gold star?”
“Even better, you get to speak with your old friend. Now remember, when you feel like getting lost in the other side, it’s not Riddick you must return for. You must return for yourself. You are worth it.”
A knot formed in Teller’s throat so he only nodded. That may be the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.
“I will do what I can to help but I can only guide you. Much of this will be up to you.”
Teller closed his eyes and thought of Sergiu. Through the haze of figures quickly passing by, Teller made out Sergiu’s faint figure in the distance. Soon Sergiu's arms were around Teller. Teller could feel his touch! “You’re really here?”
“Yes it is I. We don’t have long. It’s not safe for you to linger here. The more time you spend the more difficult it will be for you to leave. First of all, I want to ask that you stop torturing yourself over my death. My dying saved you and that was more than worth it. All I wanted was your happiness. That’s how much I love you.”
“How could you possibly be so selfless? You gladly sacrificed yourself for me?”
“Yes, because after my death you left the terrible Vlad behind forever. My death saved you from yourself. It was my purpose to stop you, though I didn’t fully understand that at the time. If I had not succeeded then you would have continued down that dark path. You would not have been content until you conquered the world. But losing me changed you for the better.” He gave a sheepish grin. “Although I must confess, things are wonderful for me here.”
For the first time Teller noticed the tall lean hazy figure waiting patiently beside them. A woman slowly came into focus. She was stunning. Long brown hair fell down her back. She wore a flowing white gown.
Teller quickly put the pieces together. “The lovely Empress Theodora.” He bowed his head. “The historians were correct. The mosaics and paintings of you do not do justice to your true beauty.”
She put her arm in Sergiu’s. “We had only met briefly when I was Empress. I was already married then. But thankfully we’ve been reunited here.”
Teller had never seen Sergiu this … blissful. A huge burden lifted from Teller’s shoulders. I didn’t condemn Sergiu to hell. He is … happy.
“Now before you must return. Lady Theodora has something that will help you. You must go to Petra.”
“Petra?” Teller had flown over Petra on a number of occasions.
“You must go there at once,” Theodora instructed. “Buried deep within one of the old Bedouin caves in the Rose City you will find an ancient scroll.”
“Why do I need this scroll? What does it say?” Teller asked.
“We don’t have time,” Sergiu said. “But the scroll contains the history of vampires. It will provide many answers and it will show you the path the chosen ones must take.”
“What are you talking about? Why does everyone have to talk in riddles around here?”
“You must go — now. The scroll has the answers you seek,” Sergiu said.
“No! I can’t leave. There’s still
so much —
“We’ll be together again someday but not today. I have one last piece of information that will make it easier for you to leave me. The Lady Vallachia will return soon and with her she brings the two most precious of gifts. Now go!”
The only thing that filled Teller’s mind was Vallachia as he began to speed away from Sergiu and Theodora. He found himself lying on the dirt floor of the tunnel. Val’s alive and Sergiu is fine — better than fine! He’s in heaven with his true love.
“You made it back. That’s good.” His teacher said in little more than a whisper.
Teller helped Tomoc lay down.
Teller heard her heartbeat as it became irregular. “What’s wrong?”
Tomoc gave him a weak smile.
“You spent too much energy getting me back. Now you’re dying?”
She nodded and her heartbeat slowed.
“Why did you do that?”
“You received important information, no? I’m ready to be with my ancestors. It’s my time. You have seen the other side so you know not to be sad for my passing.”
Tomoc was right. Teller knew she would be young and beautiful once again. She would be surrounded by her family. Her arthritic hands would no longer cause her pain. “Thank you for everything. I owe you so much. I may never be able to repay you.”
“Nonsense. There’s no need for payment. You must go to Petra … whatever that is.” She closed her eyes.
“I will.” Teller held her hand and knelt by her bed long after her heart beat for the last time. He was surprised to find that while he would miss his teacher, he was relieved for her. He knew for certain that she was free. Free of human pain and suffering. A smile came across his face as he could almost see her being embraced by loved ones who had been previously lost to her — all naked, of course. He chuckled.
Chapter 49 South America 2034 A.D
Teller stayed for the ceremonies for his teacher. Then he made plans to head out at once. “I have to leave. I won’t be long and I will need to take some of my men.”
Of Gods and Goddesses: Book 3 (Lords and Commoners Series) Page 18
