by Jen Pretty
“Oh my god, you suck,” I said, as I scooted out of the way of the raining popcorn.
“That is a true statement. Meet me later for yoga,” she grinned. I gave her a thumbs up, and they unpaused the movie. The vampires all went back to watching the car chase in progress on whatever action movie they were watching. It was nice to see that Peri was fitting in with the vampires of the house.
I found Andre in the foyer, talking on his phone. He flipped it shut when he saw me and a smile pulled onto his face.
“Hi Lark, I called down to the garage to have him send up your vehicle,” he said.
“Great, thanks. How are you settling in?” I asked. It was nice to have another human here. If that was what I was.
“Good, everyone has been friendly,” he replied, his eyes darting over my shoulder.
I turned around and found Trevor sitting on the bottom step of the stairs. “What are you doing here?” I asked.
“Just making sure Andre doesn’t have any problems,” he said, but his eyes stayed on Andre. Poor guy had a thing for the house human. At least it seemed mutual, judging by the look on Andre’s face.
“Ready,” Drew said as he sailed down the stairs pulling his jacket on. He leapt the last six steps and landed in the foyer beside me.
I was a bit jealous of his vamp skills. I felt as athletic as a potato since Durga left. I couldn’t jump six steps and land without twisting an ankle or something. There was still bruising on my chest from the buffalo demon.
Andre opened the door and Drew, and I walked out to find a beige minivan in the driveway. I stopped dead and spun around.
“You are kidding me, right?” I asked the human in the doorway.
“Vincent just bought it yesterday. It’s nice, right?” Andre said.
“I’m not driving that. Hold on Drew.” I marched back into the house and slammed through Vincent’s office door.
“Where is my SUV?” I asked, hands on my hips.
He muttered words into the phone at his ear, then set it down on the desk. “I traded it in. I thought you would want something safer for Elliot.”
“The SUV was safe. A minivan is for soccer moms. Plus, you didn’t even ask. That SUV drove me around all over the place. We had good times together.”
“I didn’t realize you had an emotional attachment to the vehicle.”
“Yeah, well, that’s because you didn’t ask, Vincent. You traded it in without discussing anything with me.”
He didn’t speak for a moment. “I’m sorry.” He stood up and came around his desk. He stepped right up to me, and I took a step back, not quite ready to accept his apology.
He took my hand and raised it to his lips. “I’m not used to this yet. Please be patient with me. I know I have to change, but I have been ruling over vampires for a long time. I’ve never had a partner.”
“Is that what I am? A partner? Because I feel like I have no say in anything and I’m being towed along by life. I’m not deciding for myself.”
All the air left Vincent’s lungs. “Do you not want this? Our family?” His eyes dropped to my stomach.
“You idiot. I want a life with you, but I want to make my own decisions. Important things. You chose my doctor for me; you chose my car for me, I don’t have a job or a bank account. I don’t have anything.”
“I’ve given you everything.”
“Exactly. That’s amazing and wonderful, but I want something that’s mine. I think I need to rebuild my Yoga studio. I need some control over something.”
“I put the insurance money from your old yoga studio in a trust account I set up for you. I didn’t know if you would ever want it,” he said.
Thoughts of Randy flooded into my mind. He built that studio more than I did. Could I use the insurance money to build a new studio? Should I? I couldn’t decide if it would be honouring him or belittling his memory to rebuild like he hadn’t lost his life in the last one. All the air left my lungs. I shook my head, trying to fight back the emotions attempting to boil over.
“I don’t know how to do anything right,” he whispered.
My eyes shot up to his. “No, that’s good. I can use that, but I miss Randy sometimes. He was my biggest cheerleader. Maybe I could make it in his memory — make sure he lived on in a new studio.”
Vincent wrapped his arms around me. “Ok. I’ll put it in an account for you. Do you want me to contact architects? Or I could get you a list of names? I won’t take over, but if I can help, I want to.”
“A list of names would be good. If I’m not chasing down vampires, I will have time to call around.”
“Ok. I can do that.” His smile came back, tentative at first. I felt like a bitch for yelling at him now, but I wanted to work things out and be a team. We didn’t have long before we would have a child. This was a jump first and learn to swim later thing. “Do you want to hire someone to help with the wedding? I think Trevor is planning something baby related.”
I laughed remembering him and his secret boxes at the door — he was up to something.
“Yeah, how about you handle the wedding plans? Peri and I can go dress shopping after Elliot’s born. I’m not getting married with a big belly.”
He laughed, and we were back to normal. He kissed me and headed back to his desk. “You don’t have any restrictions on the wedding?”
“What does that mean?” I asked, suspicious now.
“Well, we know many people.” He said, flipping open his agenda and turning pages with a sharp slide of his fingers.
Oh god. There would be hundreds of people at this wedding. I just knew it. “Nope, I said you could do it, so whatever you want is fine.”
He smiled and bit his lip. “I’ll keep it small... ish.” He said. I turned to leave, but before I pulled open the door, Vincent spoke again.
“I love you, Lark.”
“I love you too,” I said, shooting him a smile then heading back out to the parking lot to drive my freaking mini-van.
“Next right turn,” the mechanical voice of my GPS said.
“Shit,” I slipped into the right lane and screamed onto the off-ramp of the highway.
“I am going to die,” Drew said, clinging to the door handle for dear life.
“No, you won’t. This thing has like twenty airbags.” I pulled up to the stop sign.
“Turn left,” the mechanical voice said.
“I kind of love this GPS thing. My SUV didn’t have this.”
“So now you like the mini-van?” Drew asked rolling his eyes.
“No, but I like the features.” It had heated seats. My ass had never been so toasty. It also had little TV’s on the back of the front seats so kids could watch movies in the car. Pretty sweet deal.
We drove over the highway and through a cute little town. The houses were quaint with coloured doors and gardens.
“You have reached your destination,” the tinny voice said, but I hadn’t. There wasn’t an address on the old logging road. I drove out of town watching the left-hand shoulder to find the overgrown path and cement barrier that prevented vehicles from driving up to where Emanuel’s magic house.
“There it is.” I spun the wheel and slammed to a stop inches from the barrier to the sound of Drew screaming like a little girl.
I put the van in park and hopped out. Drew followed a moment later.
“Can I drive home?” he asked. I snickered and fought my way through the branches that blocked the side of the path around the barrier. I wasn’t about to hop over it. My stomach was full from the foot-long sandwich I had bought on the way here.
We walked through the wooded path, birds swooped and tweeted, hopping from branch to branch. The sun was shining, breaking through the trees now and then to heat my skin, and a warm breeze carried the scent of flowers along the path.
We walked for several minutes until we came to a small meadow. I knew the house was there.
“Emanuel?” I called, and before my eyes, the tiny cottage sprung into bein
g — little flower boxes on the windows and a cute little-covered porch with a swinging bench. Perched on the bench was the little green leprechaun himself. Except he wasn’t a leprechaun, and I knew better than to call him that.
“Hello, little Lark. Thank you for coming.” The tiny man said. He took off his emerald green top hat and bowed at me.
“It’s nice to see you again, Emanuel,” I said.
“Come, you can bring this vampire if you must, but he should touch nothing,” Emanuel said giving Drew a look like he was a little boy with sticky fingers.
I giggled and climbed the three small steps to Emanuel’s cottage. He opened the door and disappeared inside. I followed along expecting to see the warehouse, but what was beyond the doors this time was completely different.
I walked into a huge room with vaulted ceilings and plush red carpet on an aisle between rows and rows of benches. It was like a church or opera house. On the benches, thousands of small people clapped and cheered. Lights poured in from some unseen source, illuminating the stage at the front of the magnificent room. On the stage, sat a chair I could only describe as a throne.
“Come, Lark. The people wait.”
“What the hell?” I asked.
“Your son must receive his gift,” Emanuel said, ushering me forward.
I stopped dead in my tracks. “I don’t understand.”
“You will.” The elf smiled up at me and then took my hand before I could stop him. Suddenly, I was in a vision. I knew it wasn’t real because I watched myself playing with Elliot. His beautiful face was lit up with smiles and giggles as he ran and I chased him. He put out his hand and the tree in front of him changed. Its branches lowered until they formed steps he ran up and then the branches moved again, so he was standing in a tree fort, looking out the window at me. The sun sparkled on his face as it came through the leaves, casting him in a warm glow.
Then I was back in the giant room full of elves.
It was Elliot making the magic. Of course, he would be different. He is the son of a god. Relief flew through me. It wasn’t me that was magic; it was him. Then the horrible thought struck me — he would grow up thinking he was strange just as I had when I was young and weird. At least he would have magic around him. Frankie had magic.
“He will be happy Lark. Come.” Emanuel waved me forward, so I walked along the red carpet, Drew at my back until we climbed the stairs onto the stage. Emanuel encouraged me to sit in the giant chair, so I took a deep breath. I wasn’t excited to be in front of so many people. I was wearing yoga pants and a hoodie that said baby with an arrow pointing down to my stomach. I found it in my closet this morning and thought was hilarious. I wasn’t dressed to be in front of all these people and sitting on a damn throne.
“Thank you all for coming,” Emanuel said, his voice echoing through the room and calming the cacophony of applause. “Today we welcome the mother of our new king. Though she is of humble birth, the great Goddess chose her, and now she bears the son of the King of Thunder. This child will be more powerful than any before. Help me give him the gift he needs to grow into the powerful leader of our people.”
Emanuel turned to me. “Thank you, young Lark. We will meet again.” He raised his arms. I was about to ask him what he meant when a wave of gold light began at the back of the room and slid above the rows of people. I grew in size and speed as it made its way towards the stage. The people all had their arms raised, and they cheered as the wave crashed over them and continued. I tried to stand, but some force held me in place. The golden wave crashed onto the stage, and I opened my mouth to scream, but it was too late. It hit me and washed over me and the chair I was sitting on, but it had no weight. It was like fog, I could see it, but I couldn’t feel it. A moment later it all disappeared, and I was sitting in the same throne in the middle of the empty forest clearing. The room and the people had vanished, except Drew who stood beside me with a look of utter disbelief. It probably matched my own. What the fuck?
“That was weird.” Trust Drew to state the obvious.
I stood up from the chair, and something fell out of my lap. When I bent down, the chair behind me disappeared. I picked up the shiny object and held it up. It was a tiny crown, not much bigger than a bracelet.
It was a crown for a baby.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
The ride home was quiet. I let Drew take the driver’s seat, and he drove like a grandma. My stomach was pretty freaking huge now. So big that I set the tiny crown on it like it was a shelf and watched the writhing mass that warped my skin with cramped ninja moves.
My hoodie stretched tight across my stomach. I wasn’t sure I would be able to get it off when I got home. I made Drew stop and get me a snack. I munched on Cheesies, crunching loudly and chugged a sports drink as I kept vigil on the tiny crown and my giant stomach.
Once we were back on the highway, I pulled out my cell phone and took a picture of the crown on my belly. I almost posted it to my neglected social media page, but couldn’t remember my password, so I texted it to Vincent and Peri.
Peri replied first. Telling me that my belly was huge, and I needed to lay off the snacks. She’s a good friend.
Vincent called.
“Is that what they gave you?” he asked without so much as a hello.
“Yup, Emanuel said Elliot was their new king, and then they threw a bunch of gold stuff at me and kicked me out of their house. The crown was on my lap.”
“They threw a bunch of gold stuff at you?” He asked, sounding confused. I was just as confused.
“Yeah, like magic or something. Now my stomach is quite a bit bigger, so we might need that baby room before soon.”
“I scheduled the contractor to start the door between rooms tomorrow. If the room isn’t ready, he can stay in our room. I would like that anyway.”
“You would?” I asked. I never thought of Vincent being a hands-on father.
“Absolutely. The two of you sleeping in my room sounds perfect.”
“OK, well, we should be home soon,” I said with a giddy smile on my face.
“See you soon,” he said.
We hung up, and I went back to my snack. I had orange powder all over my stomach by the time we pulled into the mansion. I tried to dust it off, but it was permanent. I rolled out of the van and up the stairs to the front door. It swung open to reveal Andre. He bowed his head. “Lord Vincent would like to see you in the dining room.”
“Lord Vincent,” I said in a mocking tone, “Will have to wait because I have to pee,” I said — too much sports drink. I should have had coffee. I wouldn’t have this problem. Coffee never betrayed me by filling my bladder unnecessarily.
I hustled past Andre to the small half bath tucked away behind the staircase, making it just in time. Damn, being pregnant sucked.
I waddled back out of the bathroom, cursing my expanded waistline and found the foyer empty. So, I staggered down the hall towards the dining room, carrying the tiny crown in my hand. I didn’t want to set it down somewhere and lose it. I turned the corner into the dining room, and everyone yelled “surprise” so loud I was glad I had just emptied my bladder.
They decorated the room better than my birthday streamers. There were soft blue streamers, but also a giant sign that said congratulations in blue letters and balloons everywhere. Elliot did an epic flip, and I got a stabbing pain in my back. Little turnip needed to settle down. Everyone was clapping, and Trevor was taking pictures.
I shook my head at the goofy vampire, but he ushered me forward to a chair decorated with balloons and puffy plastic pompoms. When I sat down, everyone came over and set gifts down around me. This was way over the top.
Vincent came up and stood beside me. “This is from me,” he said, handing me a tiny box.
I looked up at him in his handsome suit and tie and his hair perfectly styled. Then I looked down at my huge belly covered in orange cheese powder. God, I was a hippopotamus.
I took his tiny box and pulled the wrapp
ing off. The box said Tiffany. I took the top off and inside was a gold necklace with a beautiful lightning bolt encrusted with diamonds. It was fitting since I gave him Indra’s lightning bolt that Durga carried around with her.
“Thank you,” I whispered. He took it and stood behind my chair. I swept my hair out of the way, and he attached it around my neck. It was beautiful the way it sparkled.
“Ok, now open mine,” Trevor said, shoving a gift in my lap. I had another sharp stabbing pain in my back and winced then took Trevor’s beautifully wrapped present. It was rather large, and the blue paper had hearts on it that said: “It’s a boy.”
I tore at the paper. Some heckler yelled at me to hurry up, and I looked up to find Peri standing on a table, smiling at me from the other side of the dining room.
I shook my head at her and tore the paper. Inside was something called a diaper genie.
“You put diapers in it,” Trevor said excitedly.
“It’s a magic poo garbage?” I asked.
He nodded and put another present in my lap, setting the diaper genie aside.
I opened several more gifts. Little cute outfits and toys and all kinds of things I had no idea a baby needed, but the pain in my back was getting worse.
“Ok, guys, I love this, and you guys are all too sweet, but my back is killing me, and I would like to go lay down,” I said. “Can we pick this up again later?”
Everyone clapped and cheered as Vincent helped me up from my chair. Trevor had been making me a ridiculous hat from bows and ribbons on a paper plate. I had no interest in wearing it. Shockingly.
As I stood up, I felt a huge gush.
“Shit,” I said.
“Oh my god, your water broke,” Trevor yelled.
I knew enough about birth to know this baby was coming today and that is the moment reality set in.
“I’m having a baby,” I said. The vampires all cheered again. Bunch of idiots. The pain in my back morphed into agony, and I was ready to throat punch everyone who didn’t get out of my way.
“Move,” Vincent yelled, clearing me a path as I waddled out of the dining room. He had his phone to his ear the moment he passed me off to Trevor and Peri, who slung their arms around me and helped me out of the room. They moved me towards the medical room, and I slammed on the breaks.
