by Lara Swann
I’m about to say so when I notice the way Josh is looking at me strangely - but Beth interrupts before I can ask about it.
“Cassie! You look half asleep there.” She announces, and everyone turns to look at me.
I blink and realize I’ve practically fallen into Josh’s body beside me, entirely distracted by lying against his shoulder and looking up at him.
“Hah, she’s not the only one.” Maria replies with a yawn of her own. “After the journey, and with the kids…and Cassie and Josh traveled up much further. Bed sounds like a good plan right about now.”
“Really?” Beth asks, a little incredulously. “But what about drinks in the game room? It’s not even late yet!”
“It’s a lot easier when you just got a lift up, Beth. We’re not all used to the college lifestyle anymore.” Mark adds wryly. “I certainly wouldn’t mind crashing out.”
I’m relieved at the general murmur of consensus. I don’t quite feel awake enough to deal with Beth when she’s tipsy - or with the direction that conversation might end up going. I hadn’t realized how sleepy I am.
“It’s our first night - and we’re here to celebrate my engagement.” Beth continues, her voice starting to pout. “I thought you’d all want to celebrate a little.”
“Well, let’s have a toast to your engagement then, Beth.” Maria suggests, always trying to be the peacekeeper. “And then save the hardcore celebrations for your party, hmm?”
Beth considers that for a moment, and appears to realize she’s not going to do any better.
“Okay, great.” She grins at everyone, and jumps up from the table. “I’ll get the champagne.”
“Already…” Dad mutters as she scampers off, his first contribution to the dinner conversation.
Mom fetches the glasses and within a few minutes Beth sets the cork flying with a giggle, bubbles streaming everywhere. She pours the champagne excitedly, clearly giddy about the coming week, and seeing her obvious happiness eases some of the irritation I always feel at her behavior, putting me in a slightly more generous mood.
It is her engagement. Let her enjoy it.
I’ve never found Beth easy to get on with, something about the way she acts getting under my skin every time we’re around each other - but I seem to be the only one, and I still haven’t worked out whether that’s because my whole family is completely blind, or I’m just a bitch.
The glasses circulate, and Maria improvises some fizzy orange juice for Anne when it becomes clear that champagne is the only thing Beth brought back from the kitchen.
Mark chuckles as he receives his glass, shaking his head at Beth. “You always did manage to drag your birthdays out for days too, little sister. I see some things don’t change.”
“You have to make the most of these things.” She flashes a spoiled grin at him, then turns it on Neil. “Neil’s been upholding that tradition quite nicely, too…and that’s one thing that won’t change when we’re married.”
Neil gives a deep laugh and moves in to kiss her, before raising his eyebrow dramatically. “Why settle for only days, baby?”
She giggles happily and then turns to us all, looking over at my Dad first, who belatedly realizes something is required of him.
“Right, yes, well…” He clears his throat and looks at us all. “To Beth and Neil’s engagement, then.”
He raises his glass and we all do the same, toasting Beth and Neil and then following as he takes a large swallow.
“You’ll have to do better than that for the wedding speeches.” Mom mutters to him, then gives Beth a big smile. “We hope you’ll both be very happy, darling.”
“Ohh, I know we will.” She giggles again, taking Neil’s arm and leaning into his side.
I feel Josh’s arm around my waist in the same moment and it feels momentarily strange to know we’re reflecting their coupley behavior. Then he leans over and kisses my forehead, clinking his glass to mine, and I almost forget that all we’re doing is mirroring them. I flush slightly, though I think it must be the champagne after the long drive.
We look up at each other, smiling, but when I meet his eyes, it’s not the warmth of a shared joke that I feel between us.
I break that eye contact and move in closer, leaning my head against his shoulder the way we often do, and letting his body almost support mine.
“You’re right.” I murmur gently, “You’re a very good actor.”
I’m not sure whether I’m trying to tell him that, or remind myself - Josh is very good at creating exactly the right atmosphere to completely suck his audience in and make them forget reality for a little while. I just hadn’t quite anticipated how…confusing…that might feel to be in the middle of.
We stand and make a little muted conversation as we all finish our champagne, but it’s obvious that most of us have used up the last of our social energies for the evening - and Beth’s focus seems to become more and more absorbed by her fiance as she drinks the last of her champagne, moving closer into him and not quite hiding their wandering hands well enough.
Which at least means she doesn’t object when we finally start saying goodnight and disappearing for the evening.
Josh and I get out of there relatively unscathed, and we walk up the large, elegant stairway with Maria and her husband John.
“You two are down towards the end, next to Beth and Neil’s honeymoon suite.” She points out helpfully for us, then gives me a small smile. “I think Mom assumed that putting both of you young and energetic, childless couples together at the opposite end from my kids might mean that any…noise…doesn’t disturb the kids.”
I blink at her, taking a moment to work out what she’s talking about - and then I blush. I honest-to-god blush about it.
I’m no stranger to the concept of sex, and I never react like that. But. Damn. I don’t want to be thinking about sex with Josh. And I definitely don’t want to be thinking about my sister thinking about it.
“Great, thanks.” I say abruptly, then take Josh’s hand and practically drag him along after me.
I hear Maria chuckle behind me, which makes me feel even hotter, and I take a breath to force myself to slow down. I steadfastly refuse to look at Josh, knowing he’ll be having a field day with that reaction. He’d be the last to think me innocent, but somehow it’s different around my family.
When we finally make it into the room and I can lock our everyone else behind me, I sink against the wall with relief.
“What was that about?” Josh is clearly trying not to laugh at me. “I’ve never seen you act so prudish.”
I shoot him a glare, then run my hands through my hair. “I don’t know. I guess I’ve never had to deal with my family making stupid comments before. It…took me by surprise. And I’m tired.”
The universal answer for any bizarre reaction - tiredness. But in this case, it’s probably true. It was a long drive, and then a dinner that felt almost as long at times, and…there’s no other reason for it. As Josh says, I’m not shy about these things.
I step past him in the small entranceway to the room and take a look around. Unexpectedly, a small smile comes to my lips. It’s almost exactly as I remember this place being - over-large, decadent furnishings and homely style choices.
I take a seat in the stuffed chair by the fireplace and curl myself up into it as I used to do as a child. It’s even big enough that I still feel like I’m sinking into the thing. Josh comes to sit opposite me, swinging his legs up onto the sofa and lying back.
“Well, thank god that part is over.” I say after we’ve had a few moments of silence to enjoy and recuperate from having so many people around us.
Josh laughs again. “It wasn’t that bad, Cassie. And I think we did a good job of it.”
He flashes me a smile, and reluctantly I offer one back.
“You did a good job of it.” I agree. “Yeah, I think they’re going to fall for whatever story you spin them, Josh. Hell, I almost believed you.”
�
�What, that I have a terrible memory and no future as an actor?” He raises an eyebrow. “I don’t know whether I should be offended…”
“No, not that.” I say without thinking, then come to a grinding halt as I realize what I had meant, before laughing and shaking my head, glad that this is Josh, the guy I can share anything with - even this absurdity. “I could’ve almost believed we were actually a couple back there.”
He snorts, and then gives me his most charming smile. “I knew it! You’re finally going to see why all those other girls can’t resist me, babe.”
Yep, you’re immune again.
I laugh, thinking of all the times I’ve mocked him for his far-too-obvious seduction attempts that nonetheless work every time. I sink deeper into the chair and let my eyes drift closed a little as his easy banter takes away some of the tension that had built up from being around my family at dinner…and from the weird way I’d started acting.
It seems to take far too much effort to open them again a few moments later, when I realize that I haven’t even responded. I catch him looking at me when I do, a curious expression on his face that I’m too tired to process.
Instead, I shrug. “You know, I think I’m going to have to be boring tonight and head straight to bed. I think that drive took it out of me worse than I thought. That, or the champagne finished me off.”
“Really?” He asks, disappointment lacing his voice. “No hot, noisy sex then?”
I kick my shoe in his direction at the comment, but can’t help laughing again. “Definitely not.”
I stand up and stretch, then glance towards the blissful, waiting bed. He follows my gaze and we both seem to realize it at the same time.
“There’s only one bed.” I say, somewhat stupidly. “Damn.”
I walk over to it, as if that might somehow change the situation, then glance back at Josh with a little more awkwardness than I should feel. “Are we…sharing?”
His mouth curves up and his eyes are laughing as he looks at me, seemingly no concern about this at all. “Yeah, I think we’ll have to, Caz. I’d feel too bad if you ended up on the couch.”
That typical, arrogant comment startles me out of my momentary confusion, and I give him my best outraged response. “I’d end up on the couch? Some boyfriend you are.”
“Fake boyfriend. I think that means I don’t have to bother with that chivalrous shit.” He corrects, laughing easily and picking up his bag from where he dumped it on the floor earlier. He starts rifling through it as we consider getting ready for bed. “I’m already doing you a favor, after all - I’m not going that far with it.”
“And you’re going to keep rubbing that in my face, right?” I say, half-amused, half-resigned. I love Josh, despite his deliberately infuriating attitude. And sometimes even because of it. He’s funny as hell.
“You bet. Gotta be some advantage to this gig.” He finally finds what he’s looking for, then holds it up with a grin. “I even brought PJs, so don’t worry - your oh-so-prudish eyes won’t be blinded by the irresistible appeal of—”
“Okay, okay.” I interrupt and hold up a hand before he can finish that sentence.
The last thing I want to think about is Josh naked right now - or whatever he thinks might be irresistibly appealing. Though, as I narrow my gaze at the draw-string pants he’s holding, I realize he’s going to end up at least half naked.
“Aw, c’mon Cassie.” He says with a laugh. “We’ve shared a bed before, it’s no big deal.”
“Only by accident, when we’ve been too drunk to even notice.” I object.
And not when you’re pretending to be my boyfriend.
I don’t know why that makes a difference. But it does.
I know I’m acting strange though - there’s no reason for me to be quite this reluctant about it. He’s right, it should be no big deal between us.
I finally shake my head with a sigh. “Okay, fine. But no stealing all the covers.”
He grins at me, doing his best to look innocent - which achieves the precise opposite, then crosses his fingers and hides them behind his back. “Would I ever?”
It makes me laugh, at least, and I share a smile with him. I’m being stupid.
I’m just tired, and I think the champagne is giving me a headache. Josh is here, giving me more support than I’d ever have a right to ask for, and I’m getting snappish about things that don’t really matter.
Impulsively, I walk up and wrap my arms around him. He blinks, surprised, but then returns the hug with one of his own, his body enveloping mine as I inhale deeply, relaxing into his scent.
“Thanks, Josh.” I finally say. “I’m sorry - I’m really glad you’re here.”
I can feel him smile above me, and he pushes my hair back off my forehead.
“Me too, Cassie.” His voice is deeper than I’m expecting, serious, but then he lightens it up and adds in his ever-irreverent style. “We’ll have fun.”
Chapter Five
Cassie
“Auntie Caaassssss!” Lucas propels himself down the hallway towards me as I emerge from the room, his sister not too far behind.
I crouch down with a grin and open my arms to embrace them both, ruffling his hair as he dives into me and almost knocks me over.
“You’re alive!” I say with over-exaggerated shock, “I thought you two might have been eaten by monsters on the way here, since I didn’t see you last night.”
Ellie giggles, covering her mouth with her hands while her brother scowls at me and responds. “Noo, silly. Mommy didn’t let us stay up.”
“That’s because your Mommy is a very sensible woman.” I say with a smile, giving them both a kiss on the forehead that they promptly wipe off with disgusted expressions.
“Monsters aren’t real, Caasss.” Ellie informs me seriously.
“Really?” I gasp, then give her a long, considering look. “Are you sure?”
“They are!” Lucas jumps in, turning to his sister and raising his arms above his head. “And they’re gonna….getcha!”
He roars and launches himself at her.
“Gettooffffff!” Ellie shrieks as I try and pull him off.
“C’mon, Lucas, be nice to your sister.” I separate them, and try not to laugh as I give him a serious look. “That means you can’t attack her.”
“Whyyy not?” He folds his arms and whines at me.
This time I do laugh and shake my head at them both, taking them up in another hug that this time they try and resist.
“I’ve missed you two.” I stand up and then gasp again, looking down at them. “And you’re so much taller now - you’re almost as big as me!”
Lucas giggles at that and then nods, pulling his small body up proudly. “I’m going to be taller than aannyy of you, Daddy says.”
“Are not.” Ellie shakes her head.
I glance up at Josh, who is standing there with a small smile on his face, watching our little comedy act.
“Lucas…Ellie…say hello to Josh. My…boyfriend.” I feel a small pang of guilt at lying to these two, in a way that I didn’t with the rest of my family, but push it aside as they look over at him, seeming to notice him for the first time.
“Hello!” Lucas announces loudly, looking up at him with open curiosity.
His sister is hiding behind my legs, peeking out at Josh as he crouches down to say hello to Lucas. I run a hand through her shoulder length blond hair to rub her back, murmuring a gentle encouragement. “He’s nice, Ellie.”
She glances up at me, unsure, but gives a quick glance out at him to wave and say “hi”.
Josh doesn’t move from where Lucas appears to be trying to arm wrestle him, but gives her a warm smile and cocks his head. “Hello little one. You want to stay there with Auntie Cass, hmm? She’s nice.”
My heart flutters a little at the simple words and I feel Ellie relax a little next to me as she nods and moves closer to me, wrapping her arm around my leg. Lucas seems to have forgotten I’m here, entirely
distracted by the exciting new person in his life.
“C’mon you two. Shall we go and find your Mommy and Daddy? Do you know where they are?” I take Ellie’s hand when she nods, and hold out my other for Lucas.
“Okay!” He shouts, grabbing Josh’s hand and trying to pull him forward. Josh laughs and shoots me a look, making me smile back as I try not to laugh myself while we walk down the hallway together, with the two kids at our feet.
I’m in a much better mood this morning, and not just because I always enjoy seeing Ellie and Lucas - I woke up actually feeling good about this whole weird trip.
Some of that strange awkwardness I’d felt with Josh the evening before had disappeared and we were back to the light, easy friendship we’d always had. Maybe that had all just been champagne-induced imagination anyway - or maybe I should have expected it to feel different when we were around my family, pretending to be boyfriend and girlfriend. Of course that would affect our usual interactions.
But it’s a relief to see that after a little time alone, we’re been back to our usual selves - Josh’s morning brainstorming of “so how can I piss everyone off today” creating an amusing - and more than a little outrageous - exchange that meant we ended up finally emerging a little late for breakfast.
And I’m surprised at how nice it is just to be back in one of my old childhood haunts, especially since having having Josh here seems to mute the impact my family usually has on me. Everything seemed to go well with our little act yesterday, and there’s no reason not to be optimistic about how this will all work out.
“You know,” Josh murmurs at me, nodding to the kids. “Considering how adamant you are about not wanting kids, you’re pretty good with them.”
“You’re not so bad yourself.” I raise an eyebrow myself, watching as he pretends to be pulled along by a seven-year-old boy, then frown as I correct him. “And I never said I didn’t want them at all, just not—”
“What are you saaaying, Auntie Cass?” Ellie pulls at my hand and I glance down to see her looking up at us both with an almost indignant expression. I smile automatically - she’s never liked being left out of a conversation.
