Nick adjusted the collar of his T-shirt and adjusted the car’s air conditioning. If it kept up, there was no way in hell he was going to be able to keep from taking her like she begged him almost every night now.
The light changed and he shifted the faithful old car into gear stopping just a few feet from the hotel’s main entrance. To be this close and forced to wait. He thought he must have hit every red light in Orange County this morning. He grumbled, waiting for green. When he got it, he waved a hand at the light and bowed his head.
“How very, very gracious of you.”
He didn’t even try to control the sarcasm. He was talking to a traffic light, after all.
Moving through the intersection, he kept telling himself that if this all worked out, the last week would have been worth it. If it didn’t, he had only one more day with Keely. He couldn’t believe that was true, wouldn’t even think about it.
He gave his keys to the valet and entered the plush lobby decorated in seafoam green and cream, screaming of its location by the sea. In case you missed the big blue ocean on your way in, he guessed. Since he knew the hotel was a favorite honeymoon destination, he supposed it was actually possible.
The elevator ride took forever. By the time he stepped off on the sixth floor, he had a good mind to track the manager down and suggest the man have it inspected. Halfway down the hall on the left—suite 602. He swallowed hard.
This could either be the beginning of the end, or the future he so desperately wanted. The stakes were so high, he had to ask himself again if he were really willing to take this gamble? He actually took a step away from the door. Maybe one long night with Keely and giving her up was better than simply losing her forever.
Maybe that was all it was ever supposed to be. All he was ever to be allowed. He felt tears attempting to form. He couldn’t believe that, wouldn’t believe it. His parents taught him to believe in a loving God. Certainly any God who would tear him and Keely apart had no love in its soul.
Go for broke.
Freddie’s favorite saying. He smiled as he heard it in his mind as clearly as if the twin he had loved so much were standing beside him. He knocked at the door.
• • •
Keely closed her eyes softly as the kitten fluffed her red shirt with tiny little paws, as if it were a pillow. Sitting on the chaise on the balcony, she let the mid-day heat settle into her bones. This was their last full day together and he’d left. Not that she could honestly blame him. The past week had been less than inspiring and she’d been more than snarly with him.
She stared at her African violets, which were blooming now. She smiled as she realized she must have finally figured out the right combination of water and light for them.
Just in time to leave.
Her thoughts drifted to Nick and last night—the last several nights.
At night they loved like mad. No words, just hands, arms, tongues. She loved him with everything she was worth because even if she could never tell him how she felt, she hoped someday he’d look back and know. A tear slipped past her guard.
One day, a long time from now when he’s finally able to let go of his anger.
She petted the fuzzy little cat’s head. Its purr was so loud it made her smile. Nick had given her everything—pets, a home, love. She wiped another tear from her eye before it could fall. She hated herself because after everything, she couldn’t give him the one thing he wanted—herself. In all honesty, she wasn’t even sure why.
She realized, over the past several days, that she’d been blaming him. She had warned him from the beginning that he’d never understand why she had to leave, but in reality she’d learned that even she didn’t understand.
Much of the time, it seemed logical to her mixed-up mind, but Nick had made her think, dream, want— all things she generally tried hard not to do. Until Nick, there was no reason to think about her life or dream of something more.
It’s not like there were any alternatives for me.
She ran a hand through her curls and tucked one foot up against her body, dropping her forehead down onto her knee.
That wasn’t true.
She’d always had alternatives—saying ‘No’ being the most obvious—but she never had. When she thought about it, she couldn’t remember a time in her life when she’d ever told her mother ‘No’. She was always so conscious of disappointing her, since it was all she seemed capable of.
“Why wasn’t I ever enough for you?”
She asked the question of no one in particular, but the doorbell answered her, interrupting her soul-searching pity party. For the best, she thought, until she pulled the door open and her sister flew into the apartment as close to hysterical as she’d ever seen her. She grabbed the young woman by the arms and lightly shook her.
“Rissa, what is it? The baby? Guy?”
Clarissa shook her head while taking deep breaths, looking as if she’d run all the way from the car, not even waiting for the elevator.
“No.” She gasped for breath. “It’s you.” She bent forward placing her hands on her thighs. “Mom.”
Keely tried to understand but her sister clearly wasn’t making any sense and this couldn’t be good for the baby. She tried to lead her to the sofa but Clarissa refused to move.
“Well, at least let me get you some water.”
Clarissa followed Keely to the kitchen. Stopping on the opposite side of the bar to lean hard on it, she took the purple-tinted glass filled with tepid water and drank slowly. When she finished and put the glass on the bar, she grabbed both Keely’s hands.
“Mom called Derik. He’s on his way here from the airport. Right now!” She shook her head in disgust. “Hasn’t Nick ever heard of an unlisted phone number? Ninety percent of California is unlisted, but not your boyfriend, oh no, that would have been asking too much. He didn’t even give them a challenge.”
Keely’s blood ran cold. She helped Clarissa over to the sofa without a word. She controlled her breathing intentionally. It couldn’t end this way. She had to be allowed to say good-bye. She couldn’t leave him without it. She blinked hard at the tears—they were of no use now. She needed to think. If only Nick had told her where he was going this morning, maybe then...
Maybe then what?
She shook her head and paced to the patio door. Looking out at the balcony she’d filled with plants and together they’d filled with love. Every night of three weeks flashed before her eyes—being happy, being with Nick. She’d laughed and loved and for the first time in her life felt really alive. How could it all end now? She could feel his arms around her, smelled his cologne. It couldn’t be over. Not yet. They were supposed to have one more night.
Once again the ringing doorbell shook her from her reverie. Only this time she wasn’t curious, she already knew who stood on the other side. The end of any mad dream she’d allowed herself. Reality waited.
Chapter Twenty
Nick wrapped his arms around his friend and slapped him hard on the back. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
West stood back and smiled into Nick’s eyes. “If Matthew wasn’t still on his honeymoon he would’ve been here too.”
“I know.”
For the first time his eyes met the other man in the room. He’d stood when Nick entered. He wasn’t tall, probably five seven or so. Dark hair, but he had Clarissa’s eyes. Nick held out his hand.
“Seldon? Its good to finally meet you.”
“Not half as good as it is to meet you.”
The man smiled with enthusiasm as he gave Nick a hard handshake. Nick gestured for him to take a seat and he and West followed suit.
“I can’t tell you how thrilled I am. I’ve looked for my family every day since she left me.”
He looked down into his lap and Nick saw the sadness swamp him.
“I’ve just never had a whole lot of money to do it with.” He looked back into Nick’s eyes. “When your friend here found me, I about fainted dead away. I’d alwa
ys hoped one of my kids would look for me, but sometimes it was a hope that was hard to keep alive.”
Nick had been looking for Seldon from the first day he heard about him. He wasn’t sure if it would turn out good or bad, but Keely very obviously had unfinished business with the man she thought of as dad and he was determined to let her have it. He was surprised however at where his’ search had ended.
“Well, I don't think they knew where to look even if they’d wanted to. Keely doesn’t remember ever living in Idaho. She thinks she was born and raised here.”
Seldon looked confused now. “How can that be? She was nine the last time I saw her.”
He tried to think of the best way to put this. He thought Keely’s memories were hers to tell or not, he cleared his throat and uncomfortably shifted. “I know, but she has very patchy memories of anything before you left.”
Seldon jumped to his feet in a startling passionate.
“I never left. Natasha left me.”
West stood up and soothed the man until he sat back down.
“Anybody want anything from the mini-bar?”
West was overwhelmingly ignored but he walked towards the small kitchen area of the suite and grabbed a few sodas anyway.
“Mr. Chilton I...”
“Nick, please.”
Seldon nodded, then began again. “Nick, I never left them.”
“I don't know how to tell you this, but all your kids think you walked out on them. In all honesty, that’s why I had West go to you first.”
He looked at West as he set the sodas on the table between them and remembered the phone call he’d had with West after he’d tracked down Seldon Thornhill. His eyes met West’s for a minute, he was obviously remembering it too. He turned his attention back to Seldon.
“I needed to know what type of man you were and I trusted West’s judgment. So I asked him to go and meet with you first. I didn’t want Keely walking into a bad situation without any forewarning. When he called me and told me you were solid, that’s when I decided to come to you for help.”
Nick reached for one of the sodas, more to just have something to do with his hands than anything else.
“You need my help? What for?”
Nick heard the suspicion creeping into Seldon’s voice and he thought, good for him. There was only one way to do this, straight up.
“It’s Keely. She has some sort of bond with her mother that I don't understand and it’s debilitating her.”
He swallowed a deep breath and looked away. He hated to tell the man what he knew he had to about his own daughter, but this was why he brought him here.
“She’s had Keely living with a very rich man for ten years now, as his mistress. She isn’t happy, but she won’t leave in fear of disappointing her mother.”
Seldon got up from the sofa and paced to the window in a manner very similar to Keely’s. Nick wondered if she’d watched him do it many times over the few short years they were together.
“She’s not a good woman, Natasha, but by the time I figured that out...” he turned back and looked at the men still sitting on the second sofa. “She was already pregnant with Clarissa. I couldn’t walk away from that. I doubt I could have walked away from Keely either. I loved that little girl as much as if she’d been my own.”
He smiled to himself and Nick wondered if he was remembering Keely as a little blonde girl. He tipped the can to his lips, then just had to ask, “What was she like?”
Nick’s words seemed to startle him, as if he’d forgotten Nick and West were even in the room. He heaved a deep breath.
“Precocious. She was already running the household at five when I met her mother. I dated Natasha for four months and never even knew she had a daughter. When I found out, I shoved away all my curiosity as to who’d been watching the little girl all those times we’d been together. Natasha used to sleep at my place more often than not and I’m not a man good with confrontation, I’m ashamed to say.”
Another sad smile and a chuckle and he continued. “Keely was the prettiest thing you ever saw. The face of and angel and all those perfect blonde ringlets. I really fell in love with her, I realize now. I looked into the eyes of that child and saw raw need. How could I refuse?
”We became inseparable, she was a real daddy’s girl from the second I married Natasha. At first that seemed to be fine with my wife, because it freed her up to come and go as she pleased. I took care of the house, the shopping, the cooking. And I got the impression that for the first time in her life, Keely had a childhood.
“She never spoke bad about her mom, but whenever I’d ask about who’d taken care of her, who did the cooking, the laundry? She’d get this sad look in her eye and tell me she did, but she wasn’t very good at it.”
Seldon’s eyes turned cold in the space of a heartbeat. “That woman never had a kind word for her daughter. No matter what she did, it wasn’t good enough. Keely thought she was the source of all her mother’s heartache...”
“She still does.” Nick couldn’t help the interruption, he was seething remembering the cruel treatment Keely allowed, thinking it was okay.
“Damn it!” Seldon slammed a closed fist into the palm of his other hand. “I thought I was just starting to get through to her when they all disappeared. I came home from work one night and there wasn’t a soul around. Peter and Clarissa were four and three, I figured they’d forget me, but I always thought Keely would look for me one day. I don't know why I didn’t think Natasha would lie to them.”
A tear slipped down the man’s cheek. “Where is my daughter?”
Nick stood and walked closer. He’d found exactly what he’d hoped for. He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath. If this didn’t break that damn bond between mother and daughter, he didn’t know what would.
“She’s at my apartment. I’ll take you to her.” Nick touched the man’s shoulder as he nodded.
“And who are you to her? If she’s with this other guy?”
Nick straightened his shoulders—he’d take no flak over his next statement.
“I’m the man that loves her.”
It seemed to be enough of an answer. The three men moved to the suite door in unison.
• • •
Keely swallowed as Derik’s cold gray eyes swept her from head to toe. She felt self conscious. Her hair was curly, she put her hand to it and lowered her eyes. She had on jeans and a short T-shirt that exposed most of her midriff. He’d hate all of it and she could see it was true in his eyes, but she imagined what he hated most was having to retrieve her from another man’s apartment.
“Derik.”
He stood staring at her without a word. Keely thought he probably wanted to hit her. She couldn’t imagine she’d ever made him madder than this. She saw him eye Clarissa and figured he’d wait until he got her home.
“Whatever things you have here, leave them. Get your purse and let’s go.”
This was it. The end. Or the beginning if she just said ‘No’. But even as she thought it, she went for her purse. Clarissa grabbed both her arms.
“You can’t go with him. Nick loves you.”
“Shush!”
She raised her eyes enough to look at Derik over Clarissa’s shoulder. He hadn’t moved even an inch and didn’t appear to be taking any notice of what was going on between the sisters. She grabbed her sister’s arm and pulled her closer while she put the strap of her bag over her shoulder.
“I have to. It’ll be all right.”
“No, it won’t. You’re giving up the best thing that’s ever happened to you and for what? So that mom might someday thank you? Is that worth it?”
“Keely. I’m losing patience. Tell your sister good-bye and come.”
She shuddered at the icy tone he was using with her. She looked quickly back at Clarissa.
“Tell him to leave me alone and someday, tell him I loved him.”
She pulled away from Clarissa and walked to Derik who put a possessive arm a
round her.
“You look like a slut. I expect you to burn those clothes when we get home.”
He closed the door to the apartment and led her to the car. It was the only words he spoke to her until they got back to the apartment. She entered the space she was so familiar with and wondered how she’d ever felt any happiness here.
“Go wash yourself. I can smell him on you.”
He picked up the phone and dialed a number before turning back to her.
“I was serious about the clothing, you can put them in the fireplace after you’ve bathed. And blow out your hair properly, for Christ’s sake. I’ll be on business calls for at least an hour, since you’ve managed to completely derail my Paris trip.”
He turned from her then, and she knew she’d been dismissed. She moved slowly to her bathroom, comforting herself with the thought that he wasn’t usually like this. He was just angry now and she’d certainly given him the right to be.
She cried all the tears she could while standing under the hot water, then she obediently blew her hair out straight and put on a lavender satin peignoir set she knew he liked, knowing there would be no appeasing him tonight.
• • •
“Wait out here for a minute. I don't want to shock her too bad.”
Nick said to Seldon and West as he stuck the key in the lock. He didn’t even have time to turn it when the door flew open and a hysterical Clarissa met them. He grabbed her just as she fell into his arms.
“Oh, thank God!”
“Clarissa, what is it?” But he already knew. Keely was gone.
“Natasha called Derik in Bali and told him what was going on with you two. He flew back immediately. She called me to gloat, but must have had her times mixed up because she thought Keely would already be with Derik by then, but she wasn’t.
Anything She Wants Page 19
