by Naomi Niles
“No, babe. No. You are not going anywhere. This is my home, and I can have whoever I want here. If they are uncomfortable with it, then that is their problem, and they don’t have to come.”
“Yeah, I understand that baby, but I just don’t want Vinny’s party to get ruined because of me. You know how–”
He pulled me closer to him. I could smell the mint on his breath as he spoke, “Babe, listen and listen good. You are not going anywhere. Vinny wants you here, and I want you here, so everyone else can fucking kick rocks. If they can’t accept you, then I don’t want their asses here anyway. You are not putting yourself out because somebody can’t look past something you did years ago. Okay?”
His reassurance sent a smile onto my face. It made me feel good that he would stand up for me like that. It reminded me of the way Vinny stood up for me at school when some of the students were talking about me. They both made me feel wanted, and up until now, I hadn’t felt that feeling in years. He kissed me on the lips softly, and moments later, Vinny walked back into the front room. “Dad, there are balloons everywhere! Are my friends coming?”
“Yup,” he said, “they are coming. I need to go and start cooking for them when they come.”
“Thanks, Dad! You and Bethany are the best!”
He walked closer and put his arms around both of us. I felt like we were a family. They filled every emptiness I had in my life, and from there, I could only hope that the rings I saw on Gavin’s computer were intended for me.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
GAVIN
Vinny’s surprise birthday party went off without a hitch. Bethany was worried that her presence would cause a stir, but to her surprise, the parents that dropped their children off were more welcoming than anything else. They said how much they missed seeing her around, and some of the women even admitted some crazy things they did in times past. After hearing their stories, there was no reason for Bethany to feel ashamed of what she did. I loved how they helped loosen her up though, and after that, things went along smoothly. I asked if she could spend the night there because I had one more surprise for Vinny the next day, and I wanted her to be a part of it.
“Babe? Wake up.”
She turned over. Her voice was froggy as she responded, “What is it?”
“Come on, get up. We have one more thing to do for Vinny.”
“What time is it?”
“It is nine am.”
“Just a few more hours.”
I laughed. “No, if we wait a few more hours, it will be too much of late start.” I tapped her on her behind. “Come on. Breakfast is ready, and you have to get up and get dressed so we can go.”
“Go where?”
I smiled. An hour later, we arrived at an amusement park. Bethany’s eyes lit up like a child as we rolled into the parking lot. She didn’t know where we were going, and neither did Vinny. Mike trailed behind us with his date and another little boy for Vinny to hang out with while we were there. “Wow. As long as I’ve lived in Virginia, I can count the number of times I’ve been here on one hand.” She looked at me, “But, I have to be honest about something.”
“What is it?” I asked.
“I am a little afraid of heights.”
Vinny spoke up from the back, “You are? But why?”
She looked in the rearview mirror, “Because, I mean, we are up so high and… I don’t know; I just can’t explain it. It scares me when we are up so high.”
“So, what are you saying?” I smirked. “Are you telling me that you won’t ride any of the rides?”
“No, I am not saying that. I will get on the rides. Like, the rides that are made for Vinny. I hear the teacup ride is pretty awesome.”
Vinny laughed out loud, “What? The teacup ride?! That is for babies! That’s not made for me! I am riding the Titan and the Vulture.”
“The Titan and the Vulture? Are you insane, Vinny? Those things are crazy!”
I drove to the parking meter and snatched a ticket out of the machine, “Yeah, that is the fun part! Oh, you’re going to ride those rides. I mean, if you can handle it,” I cleared my throat and looked down at my pants; she laughed and covered her face as I continued, “then, I know you can handle those rides! It will be nothing to you!”
We laughed together as Vinny spoke up. “What’s so funny?”
“Um, nothing, Vinny. Nothing at all, son.”
We found a parking spot and directed Mike and his date to a spot right beside ours. He brought a woman that he had been messing around with for the past month or so. Even though he said that he wouldn’t get married again, by the way things were going, it seemed as though he could change his mind at any time now. “Hey, you guys ready to fucking have some fucking fun?” His date stood next to him with her arm around another little boy. She was a smoking-hot blonde. She wore small shorts with long, tanned legs. A halter top held her large breasts in place as her hair was tied into a tight ponytail. “Bethany, I don’t know if you met Stacy, but Stacy, this is Bethany. Bethany, this is Stacy.”
“Hi, Stacy, nice to meet you.”
She smiled. “Same to you, Bethany.” She looked at me, adding, “And Gavin, nice to see you again.”
“Yeah. I hope Mike hasn’t been too overbearing for you.”
She laughed. “No, not at all. If anything, I think I may be a little too much for him.”
Mike put his arm around her, “I like her, Gavin. She can drink almost as much as I can.”
“Almost, fucker?”
He laughed. “Aright, she can.”
Stacy introduced us to her nephew, and it didn’t take long for him to hit it off with Vinny. As soon as the video game topic came up, they looked to be best friends with each other. After a few minutes passed, we went into the theme park. We wanted to go straight to the big rides, but Bethany convinced us to ride a few of the smaller rides so she could warm up to the larger ones. We weren’t going to at first, but out of all people that could sway our opinion, Mike was the one to do it. Stacy and Bethany walked ahead of us while I spoke to Mike. “So yeah, I think I fucked up.”
“Shit,” he responded, “what the fuck did you do? Fuck somebody else? Is she pissed at you?”
“What? No. Not at all.” Vinny and Andrew ran past us, laughing with each other as the closed in on Stacy and Bethany. “Bethany was at my office the other day, and I think she saw me searching for engagement rings. Now, I don’t know if she did, but soon after that, the mood in the room changed. I don’t know what to make of it. I don’t know if she doesn’t want me to ask her because we haven’t been together that long, or if she just doesn’t want me.”
“Doesn’t want you? Are you fucking stupid? You think she doesn’t want you? Look, let me help you understand something. That woman is in love with you, okay? I know you haven’t seen love since the days of Karen, but I know what love looks like. Love is patient and understanding. Love is something that I didn’t have with my ex-wife, and that’s why it didn’t last. What we had was lust, but you and her? Shit man, if me and my ex had a twinkle of what you two fuckers have now, we would still be together. The way you care for her. The way she looks at you. I mean, that shit is not fake. That shit is love, and if you think any other way, then you need to be medicated.”
I laughed. “Well, then what do you think was the deal with her change in behavior after that?”
“It could be anything. Maybe she didn’t see it, and if she did, maybe she didn’t know how to respond because I’m sure she wasn’t supposed to see it, you know? It could be anything, but who the fuck cares? I mean, you didn’t make it this far in life by not taking chances. You’re a fucking millionaire. You have money, and you got it because you saw something you wanted and you went for it, regardless of who was in front of you. So, I’m not saying she is money, but she is something more than that. She is potentially your fucking wife, and if you want her, then take her. My guess,” he said, looking at the two women ahead of us, “she is yours for the taking.
”
I focused on her behind as she walked next to Stacy. Mike was right again. I had to go after her, regardless of how I thought she felt. I let my mind trick me out of doing something that I knew was right. “Yeah, okay. I hear you.”
“Good. Now, fuck that shit, and let’s ride these fucking rides.” He yelled ahead, “Hey Bethany, enough pussyfooting! It is time to get on the big boy and big girl rides!”
“What?” she said in horror as she turned towards us. Vinny and Andrew laughed at her expression. “Wait. I mean, the teacup ride is right there! The teacup ride! Let’s just get on that and then I am sure that we would’ve gotten all the thrills that we needed for the day.”
“Nope! No, no, and no again! I’ve stalled for you as long as I could, baby girl. Now, I’m done. It’s time to get on the big fucking rides! Wooo-hooooo!” he yelled out in a voice full of adrenaline, “We are going to the Vulture! Let’s go!”
Mike charged ahead and put his arm around Stacy. Bethany tried to pull back. “Wait, wait, wait. Just wait,” she said, digging her feet into the ground, “let’s just think about this. Let’s think about our safety. Safety first, right? We need to be safe, and what ride is safer than the teacup?”
“Babe, we are adults, okay? We are not getting on the teacup rides. Come on.”
“Wait, wait, but wait. How about the swan? That is nicer than the teacup. I mean, scarier! I meant scarier!”
“Babe, I can jump higher than the hills on that ride!” I laughed at her attempt to change my mind. She was so cute when she was scared shitless. “Come on, baby. We are going to get on this ride, and after that, I guarantee you that you won’t be scared to ride anything else.”
“The Vulture? It’s a scavenger! It is going to scavenge our bodies once we all die from being on that coaster!”
I laughed and pulled her along until we got to the line. I stood with my arm around her as she shook her head in disbelief that she was about to get on the ride with us. I held her tight and spoke to her while the boys raved about how excited they were to get on the ride. “Babe, listen. I am not going to let anything happen to you on this ride, okay? If you want, you can close your eyes.”
“That won’t make a difference, Gavin.”
“It will. Close your eyes and imagine something that you want to have happen. Imagine your future. What do you see?”
“I don’t know.”
“Do it now.” She slowly closed her eyes beside me. All of a sudden, a smile stretched across her face. I wondered what she was thinking about. I wondered what could make her smile as quickly as that. With my arm around her, we inched forward in the line. Mike and Stacy stood close to each other, whispering into one another’s ear before giddy smiles spread across their faces. Finally, Bethany opened her eyes. “Well,” I asked, “do you think that will work?”
“No, that won’t work because I will still be able to feel my stomach drop out of my body. But, as far as giving me hope for things to come, I think it worked. I saw everything vividly.”
“Everything like what?”
Just before she responded, Mike broke our attention, “Look at that,” he said, pointing up at the roller coaster. The cart was descending to the very top of the first hill. Bethany cringed, “Okay, wait, let’s rethink this.”
“Damn, Mike. She was doing fine until you mentioned that hill!”
He laughed. “Well, shit, her seeing it was inevitable.”
As we moved along in line, Bethany prayed like it was going to be the last time any of us would be alive. We laughed it off, and finally, our time came to get on the ride. I looked at her as the ride attendant made sure we were safely buckled in. I reached my hand for hers, “So, here we are. Are you ready?” She inhaled and exhaled rapidly as if she was trying to calm herself down, then shook her head. “You look like you are about to give birth,” I said, laughing out loud. She narrowed her eyes at me, but her breathing remained the same. As soon as the coaster took off, she screamed to the top of her lungs as if we had gone down the first hill. I took my phone out to record her while we ascended to the top. This was a moment that I was going to cherish for the rest of our lives.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
BETHANY
It had been a week since we all went to the theme park. I was hoarse for a few days after they forced me to get on the scariest rides at the park. It was amazing though because before that day, I never would’ve imagined that I’d ride any of those roller coasters and honestly, if I was with anyone else, I don’t believe I would have. I was comfortable with Gavin though. The way he made me feel as though everything was going to be alright was enough for me. There were a few times on the rides when I closed my eyes like he suggested. I imagined us being married down the line with a couple children of our own. Vinny was the best big brother to his siblings, and my life was picture perfect. That was just a dream though. Something that was fed into my imagination from all the books I read.
I convinced myself that Gavin was not looking for rings so he could propose to me. Maybe he just considered me to be a girlfriend, and that’s it. Maybe I wasn’t wife potential to him. I hoped that wasn’t the case, but either way, I had to prepare as if I wasn’t going to be his wife. Up until now, my life had never gone the way I wanted it to go, so it wouldn’t make sense for it to happen now. I was just going to enjoy the ride for the time being. I laid in the bed next to Gavin. Ever since I started working at his office, I’d been spending more time over there. I felt like I was setting myself up for failure though because the only time I felt we would be together for good was in my imagination. As much as I wanted to break away from him and stop the heartbreak before it happened, I couldn’t.
Suddenly, Gavin opened his eyes as I laid next to him. “Good morning,” he said, facing me.
“Good morning, babe.”
“How long have you been up just looking around like a creep?”
I laughed. “Just for a little while. Actually, you woke me up with your snoring. Sheesh. You are lucky I didn’t put a sock in your mouth.”
“Really? Man, my stuffy nose must’ve gotten the best of me. I haven’t been the same since we went to the amusement park last week. I think I caught something.”
“Yeah, with all that screaming you did, I would be surprised if you didn’t.”
He chuckled. “Me? Please. I believe you were the one screaming before we even got to the first hills. As a matter of fact,” he reached for his phone and scrolled through until he landed on a video. “Remember this?”
After he pressed play, my screams immediately pierced the silence in the room. “Babe! I told you to delete that!” I said, reaching for his phone. He playfully kept it away from me as my piercing screams continued like a bad dream. “Babe! Okay, okay! I take it back; I was the one screaming! It was me, now please, turn it off!”
He laughed and right before he shut it off, we heard Mike’s voice in the background. “Jesus, woman! We haven’t even gone down the dip yet! Shut your trap!” Gavin laughed on the recorder. “No, you shut up, Mike!” I snapped back just as Gavin shut off his phone.
“Mike gets on my nerves,” I said, folding my arms over my chest. “His friend was cute though, and she was really nice, but I could tell that the two of them were meant for each other.”
“Why is that?”
“Because she curses like a sailor and drinks like a fish.”
He laughed. “Yup, I say the same thing. He said he wasn’t going to ever get married again, but I think she may be the one to change his mind.” He tossed the covers off of him and walked to the bathroom. “Are you still up to go to the park today?”
“Of course. Any chance I get to spend with my two favorite men, I am going to take it. Maybe we can have like a picnic or something. Unless I am being too mushy?”
“No, not at all. A picnic sounds fine. It is a wonderful idea.”
He winked at me, then walked into the bathroom. I exhaled while I laid in the bed. April said that I needed to
stop trying to have a pity party to convince myself that I didn’t deserve happiness. I tried, but it was so easy to do. Happiness avoided me for as long as I could remember, so now that it was staring me right in the face, I didn’t know how to accept it. To me, it was just a mirage, and it was only a matter of time before things went back to reality. Then, I would find myself back in my room, reading the same love stories just to realize that I would never truly experience that kind of happiness. Before I could get too deep into thoughts, Gavin walked back into the room. “I’m going to go downstairs and start breakfast. Whenever you’re ready, you should come join us. Okay?”
“I will.”
I stayed in the bed a few minutes longer before I dragged myself out and headed into the kitchen. Vinny was at the stove with Gavin. I stood back and watched the two of them interact. “Dad, can I pour the pancake batter on the skillet?”
“I don’t know, son. I think you might make a mess.”
“I don’t think I will. Dad, I’m eight now. I think you’re going to have to start trusting me a little more.”
I quietly chuckled at his response while Gavin answered, “Oh, well excuse me, sir. I forgot I was talking to a grown man. Okay,” he handed him the pancake batter, “go ahead and show me what you got. Don’t pour too fast, otherwise–”
“We will have pancakes as big as our plates. I know, Dad, I remember you saying that when I was younger. You know, back when I was afraid of doing this. I think I got it now.”
“Okay. Let’s see.”
I positioned myself in the doorway so I could see him pour the pancake batter onto the skillet. Neither of them knew I was watching like a nosey neighbor. Vinny poured the batter into perfectly round circles and with that, he smiled at Gavin. “See Dad, I told you. I can handle it.”
“You were right, kid. I am sorry for not trusting you. Keep at it, and you’ll be ready to drive your own car.”
“I have a few years for that, but for now, I’d say I got this breakfast thing down pretty good.”
