by Lexi Lawton
“Is the party lame?” Tanner asked.
“It was still early,” Lucas said. “I’m sure it’ll pick up soon. Usually does.”
“It’s a good thing you ditched the party tonight.” Mariah quickly caught Jules’s eye before her gaze darted back to Tanner. “Your stalker was there looking for you.”
Tanner dropped his head to his arms and groaned. A moment later, he lifted his head, and his expression could only be described as horrified and pissed off. “I really hope you’re shitting me right now.”
She laughed. “Wish I was.”
“Wait, what?” Jules angled her body toward him while also trying to keep the hem of her dress pulled down. Spencer was still staring, and she considered throwing something at him. “You have a stalker?”
“Yeah.” He sighed. “There was this girl… I’d seen her around at the house before—she’s a regular at the parties—but for some reason one night she chose to talk to me. She was nice enough, but she wasn’t picking up what I was putting down, if you know what I mean.”
“No.” Jules shook her head. “I don’t know what you mean.” Spencer and Kyle snickered, and her cheeks heated with embarrassment.
Tanner shot them a dirty look. “She wanted to hook up. I didn’t.”
“Oh.” Her eyes widened. He’d said no to a random hookup?
“Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “She kept making passes at me, and I tried to let her down easy, but she either wasn’t getting it or she chose to ignore it, hoping she could get me to change my mind. Even after the party, she’d see me on campus and hang all over me, still trying to get me to hook up with her. She’s been borderline stalking me ever since.”
Her stomach rolled with unease. Hadn’t Zach given her the same line of bullshit when she’d started to question him about Callie? Oh, her? She’s my crazy ex who’s pissed because I dumped her. She’s nothing, babe, don’t worry about her. Bile rose in her throat, and the air was stifling.
“She’s bat-shit crazy,” Lucas said.
Mariah nodded in agreement. “She really is. I don’t know why you guys even let her in the house.”
Juliana concentrated on breathing, fighting to wrap her mind around this new information, praying she wasn’t blindly walking into another bad situation.
“You okay?” Tanner reached over and gently squeezed her knee. The unexpected touch made her jump, but he didn’t pull his hand away. Instead, he flattened his palm above her knee in a comforting gesture. Warmth radiated from him and seeped into her, and strangely, it had the desired effect. Her body relaxed, and she eased back in the chair.
“We can go if you want,” he offered.
“No, it’s okay.” She smiled. She didn’t want to sit in her room, alone, and torture herself with what-ifs, wondering if Tanner was another Zach or not.
“You sure?”
She nodded.
Tanner got sucked into a discussion about sports with Lucas, Spencer, and Kyle. Brittany and Mariah filled the void with chatter about the awesome costumes people were wearing—including Jules’s and Tanner’s—and the decorations and music.
“I seriously love that costume, Jules,” Mariah said.
“Thanks.”
Every few minutes, Tanner would glance at her. Sometimes he’d wink. Other times he’d smile. And every time her insides would turn to mush and heat would creep up her neck and face. She found her gaze wandering to him more often than not, and based on the way Mariah kept grinning like she had some huge secret, Juliana’s actions weren’t going unnoticed.
…
“Tonight was a lot of fun,” Juliana said as they came to a stop in front of her residence hall. “Thank you for inviting me.”
“Thank you for wearing the dress.” He grinned.
“You’re welcome.” The swarm of butterflies from earlier reappeared in her belly, and she took a slow breath. She’d never been on a non-date with a guy she liked as much as she liked Tanner, and she had no idea what was supposed to happen now. A hearty handshake and a good night? A pat on the back and a see ya later?
“When you get lost in your thoughts, your brows furrow.” He tilted his head, studying her intently. “Not a lot, but an adorable little pull right here.” He ran his finger between her eyebrows and down her nose. “Want to tell me what you were thinking about?”
“No.” Absolutely not. No way in hell.
“Hmm.” He pursed his lips thoughtfully. “It’s really a shame this isn’t a date.”
Don’t ask. “Why?” Seriously, what was the point of having a rational inner voice if she was never going to listen to it?
“Because if this were a date, I could give you a kiss good night. And believe me, you want a taste of this.” He swirled his finger around his lips. “But I should warn you, one taste won’t be enough. They’re like potato chips.”
“Did you just compare your lips to potato chips?” She had to have misheard him. But the upward curve of his mouth told her she hadn’t. She laughed. “You really ought to seek some professional help for your lack of self-confidence.”
He shrugged. “If I do, will you go out with me then?”
“No.” This time, though, her smile couldn’t be contained. The thought of kissing him had adrenaline pumping through her body faster than she could handle, and her heart tripped over itself trying to keep up with the emotions warring inside of her. “Friends can hug.” She wanted to kick herself for saying something so idiotic.
“I can work with a hug.” He stepped forward and put his hands on her waist, lingering there for a moment—until she was certain his handprints were permanently imbedded on her—before snaking his hands around to her back. Then he yanked her close, their bodies practically melding into one.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and rose up on her tiptoes so she could reach him better, and she inhaled the scent of his cologne. She had no idea what kind he wore, but she wanted to bathe in it, it smelled so amazing. His body was all warm strength and taut muscle. She squeezed him a little harder, and he responded with a groan so sinful it would make the devil blush.
Tanner’s hands lowered, and she held her breath, but he didn’t touch her ass like she was anticipating. He did drag his hands up, though, and she trembled involuntarily, which had him flattening his palms on her lower back and drawing her closer. How that was even possible she had no idea, but he’d done the impossible and not even a breeze could pass between them.
Then he dipped his head and buried his face into her neck. She tensed, waiting for the feel of his lips puckering against her skin, but it never came. The devastating wave of disappointment did, though, and she thanked heaven above that he was holding her; otherwise, she would’ve slumped to the ground in a pile of unquenched need. Which was, in all honesty, beyond dumb because she’d been the one to insist on friendship and no kissing. She couldn’t get upset with him for doing exactly as she’d asked.
He trailed his lips across her neck in a way that was clearly not a kiss. Another shudder wracked her body, and he flexed his hands against her back, emitting another low groan. “You’re absolutely sure this isn’t a date?” he whispered, his warm breath tickling her already sensitive neck. “It’s not too late to change your mind.”
She reluctantly pulled away from his embrace, shaking her head. She never knew a simple hug could leave her teetering on the edge of pure, physical bliss.
He tucked his hands into his pockets and backed up, a confident, knowing smile lighting up his face. “Good night, Jules.”
“Good night, Tanner.” She turned and walked into her res hall before she changed her mind. She made her way up to her room, and there was a bounce in her step that hadn’t been there earlier.
Chapter Eight
Juliana practically raced across campus toward her first class of the day, a class she had with Tanner. She hadn’t seen him since Friday night, but they’d texted all weekend, and she couldn’t wait to see him again. Of course, if Devon picked up his pace, s
he could get to her class sooner, but he was dragging himself along slower than usual for a Monday morning. He yawned loudly. “Too much partying this weekend?” she teased.
“No, smart-ass. I just haven’t been sleeping well.”
“Is that why you ditched me Saturday? So you could get your beauty sleep?” she teased.
He fell into step beside her. “You have no room to talk. You ditched me Friday so you could go out with Collins.”
“I didn’t go out with Tanner. We hung out.” She would never win any debates with those pathetic arguments. She shook her head and braced herself for Devon’s reaction. “As friends,” she added, like it made any difference whatsoever.
“Mm-hmm. Call it whatever you want, but you’re into him, and he’s definitely into you.”
The hairs on the back of her neck stood on edge. There was something in his tone that gave her pause. How could he possibly know how Tanner felt or didn’t feel about her? They’d literally hung out twice, and Devon wasn’t with them either time.
“I’m glad you’re starting to date again.”
She opened her mouth to remind him she wasn’t dating, but he held up his hand to silence her, and she snapped her jaw shut.
“And if Tanner’s the one, fine. But he’s…”
“He’s what?” Her stomach rolled with unease.
“He’s not like other guys.”
She gave him a dirty look. “Whatever it is you’re trying to say, just say it.” Her patience was wearing thin, and they were almost to class.
“I was asking around about him this weekend.”
“Devon!” She groaned.
“Don’t get your panties in a twist. I only talked to a couple of the brothers who know him, and I didn’t say anything about you. So relax.”
Tingles coursed through her body, and not the good kind. She had a sinking feeling whatever he was about to say wasn’t going to be good.
“Tanner’s not like the other guys in the house. He doesn’t have a revolving door.”
A weight she didn’t know she’d been carrying lifted off her, and her shoulders slumped with relief. “Okay,” she said slowly. “That’s not a bad thing, right?”
Devon shook his head. “No, but it’s another reason he moved out of Alpha house. I guess some of the guys had been harassing him about his lack of extracurricular activities. He got fed up and left, which explains why he’s not as involved with the frat as he used to be.”
She let this new information settle, but she still didn’t understand what Devon was trying to warn her about. Tanner seemed like a stand-up guy.
“My point is…” Devon opened the door to Fallon Hall. Jules stepped inside, and he followed. “He’s not into casual sex or dating. He’s looking for something long term, and after Zach…” He frowned. “I’m not sure jumping into something so serious is what you need right now.”
She narrowed her eyes. “You think I should stop hanging out with him?” Her voice was tight, and her steps became heavier as she tried to stomp down the coil of hot anger winding its way through her.
He stopped outside of her class. “I think you should take things slow and be careful.” His blue eyes were full of genuine concern, and his tone was soft.
It was impossible to get mad at Devon. Mostly because he was being sincere with her, but also because he was the only person—other than herself—who she could consistently count on to be there, and she wasn’t going to throw that away over something as stupid as him being concerned about her. Even if she didn’t agree with his methods.
Nodding, she said, “Don’t worry. I’m taking it slow.”
“Good.” He released her hand.
She moved out of the way so a couple of students could enter the room. She glanced inside. Tanner wasn’t there yet.
“How’re things with your roommate?” he asked.
She groaned. Talking about her nonexistent dating relationship with Tanner would be less painful than a discussion about her roommate.
“That good, huh?” Devon leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. “If it’s so bad, move out.”
“I know I probably should, but I don’t really want to.” She averted her gaze and chewed on the inside of her cheek.
“Why not?”
“For starters, it’s expensive to move, and by the time I find an apartment and move in, the semester will more than likely be almost over. And I think it’s too late to get a refund from the housing department, so I’ll be stuck paying for the res hall.” It was a pathetic excuse, and she knew it. So did Devon. But she wasn’t going to tell him the real reason she didn’t want to move out: she was afraid of being alone, and she couldn’t stand the thought of having another failed relationship hanging over her head. Even if Rebecca was messy and inconsiderate and borderline vile, she was making an effort to be friends with Jules, and she wouldn’t turn her back on that. “Maybe if I try talking to her, we can work something out.”
“Why do you do this to yourself? Not everyone is worthy of being in your life, Jules.”
“Don’t start this again.”
Devon straightened and did that head nod chin thrust combo only a guy could pull off. “Hey,” he said.
“Hey, Devon,” Tanner said.
The sound of his voice triggered something in her, and it was like her skin came to life, tingling with warmth, crawling with desire. The tiny hairs on her arms stood at attention, waiting for his touch.
“Jules.” Tanner grazed his fingers across her back as he walked into the room, books tucked under one arm, and she shuddered.
How did he do that? How could one small gesture turn her inside out?
“Friends my ass.” Devon laughed.
She punched him in the arm and grinned. “Go to class. Slacker.”
He turned and headed down the hall, waving his hand over his head. She walked into class and took her seat next to Tanner. He smelled better than he had last night, and she leaned closer, eyelids fluttering as she soaked in his scent.
“Y’know, if you go out with me, you could spend an entire night sniffing me.”
His gorgeous smiling eyes stared back at her, daring her to deny what she’d been doing. She was busted, and there was no way out of it. Talk about embarrassing. “Aren’t you getting tired of hearing me tell you no?”
“Yep, but every no is one step closer to a yes, so I figure if I blow through all the no’s now, we can both stop pretending this”—he waved his finger between them—“isn’t going to happen.”
“Wow.” Should she be flattered by his persistence or frustrated by his inability to take no for an answer? At the moment, she was a bit of both. The firm resolve behind her no was severely lacking, but she wasn’t willing to move beyond friendship with him. What if the things Devon said were true? She wasn’t ready for anything romantic, let alone something serious.
He shrugged. “What can I say? I’m a man who knows what he wants.”
“And you want me?” she said with utter disbelief.
“More than anything I’ve wanted in a long damn time.” His voice was steady, and his tone brooked no argument.
Holy. Shit. She swallowed hard and broke out in a cold sweat. “Look.” She twisted to face him. “I don’t like constantly telling you no.”
“So say yes.” He flashed her a charming grin, whipping out his dimple like it was some sort of weapon.
“Tanner.” She sighed. “We’re building a good friendship here. At least, I think we are, and I don’t want to ruin that.” She fought to keep her voice steady despite the fear clogging her throat. Losing Tanner wasn’t an option she wanted to consider. The mere thought of it had her hands trembling. She curled her fingers into her palms and put her hands in her lap.
“We are.” He nodded in agreement.
“I’m afraid if you keeping asking me out, and I keep telling you no, things will go badly for both of us.” She hung her head.
Tanner put his hand under her chin and tilted her head up.
His eyes were dark and intense, and she held her breath. This was it. He was going to walk away, tell her he didn’t want to be friends, that he’d wasted his time with her.
“The last thing I ever wanted to do was make you uncomfortable, Jules, so please. Tell me what you want, and I’ll do it.”
“I want you to be my friend,” she whispered. The words tasted wretched on her tongue, and she wanted to take them back. She wasn’t kidding anyone, least of all herself, with the “let’s be friends” bullshit. She’d sworn off dating after Zach, but Tanner made her long for everything her ex hadn’t given her.
“Friends it is, then.” He smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes, and she knew he was disappointed. Oddly, so was she, which made no sense at all. He was giving her what she wanted. She should be happy.
“Just for the record.” He nudged her gently with his shoulder. “If you decide you want to change your mind, I’d be okay with that.”
“Thank you.”
…
It was nearing six o’clock by the time Jules reached her room. Mondays were her longest days with a late afternoon class, and today had been particularly harsh. She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Devon’s “warning” or her stupid, impulsive decision to tell Tanner to stop asking her out. Her stomach knotted as she stopped in front of her door. Walking in was starting to feel like a game of Russian roulette. She never knew what would be going on, who would be there, or what condition the room would be in. Resting her head on the door, she blew out a breath then pushed her way in.
Rebecca was on her bed, two people sitting next to her. Three more people sat on the floor and the couple she’d met previously were spooning on Juliana’s bed. She clenched her teeth and stared at the mess. It looked like a damn tornado had blown through. Clothes, toiletries, books and papers, shoes, and garbage were strewn about the room. Her makeup bag was once again dumped out on her desk.
