by Lexi Lawton
He closed his eyes. She spent every summer and holiday alone, and no one knew. Not even Devon. Or did he know? She hadn’t said. He kissed her neck. “You don’t have to be alone anymore.”
“Hey.” She rolled onto her back. “Don’t feel sorry for me. I could’ve very easily gone home with Devon anytime I wanted to. Lord knows he’s invited me enough times.” She traced his jaw with her finger. “That house may be empty and lonely, but it has a lot of great memories.”
“Come home with me for Thanksgiving.”
“Why?”
“Because I hate the idea of you being alone.” He propped his head in his hand.
“No.”
“What?”
“I said no.”
“Why?”
“It’s a sweet gesture, but I’m not going to go home with you just so you don’t feel guilty I’m alone.”
He scowled. “That’s not the only reason I asked you.” He slid his hand under the hem of her tank top and caressed her belly, which prickled with goose bumps from his touch. “I want to be with you. You’re my girlfriend, remember?” He smirked. “And I want you to meet my parents.”
She fell silent, and he knew there was something more on her mind. He hoped he hadn’t pushed too hard again. There were no doubts about his feelings, but maybe she didn’t feel quite the same way yet. He needed to slow the fuck down before he did irreparable damage. “Jules, honey, talk to me. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” She sighed. “Getting this close to you, to your family… What if things don’t work out between us? I can’t handle losing anyone else.”
How many more times was she going to break his heart with her words? “Oh, baby.” He lowered his face until his mouth was poised above her lips. “From the moment you looked at me, it’s been you.” He brushed a strand of hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear. “It’ll always be you.”
“You can’t know that.”
“I do know that.” What else could he say or do to prove it to her? She had him. Heart, mind, body, and soul. He was hers. Forever.
She lifted her head enough to meet his lips, and he kissed her with every ounce of emotion he possessed. Then he ran his thumb over her lips, his gaze following his finger’s path. God, he wanted to tell her right now that he loved her, but they’d finally gotten back onto level ground, and he didn’t want to press his luck. She kissed his finger, and he groaned. The familiar tingling in his veins returned, and he wasn’t sure he could keep his promise to hold her when he wanted so much more.
She rolled onto her side, putting them face-to-face, and placed her hand on his chest. The soft touch drove him crazy with need. He took her mouth in a hard kiss, noticing how eagerly she responded to him.
“Make love to me, Tanner.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
The way he was looking at her right now made her heart race and her body tremble. Tanner removed her tank top and then gently guided her onto her back. She sucked in a breath and held it as he brought his body over hers, keeping his weight suspended on his arms. She loved his arms, loved how strong they were, how safe they made her feel. He lowered his head, his lips meeting hers in a soft kiss.
She spread her legs, and he settled between them, bringing his body down onto hers. Moaning, she put her arms around him. Every single time he’d touched her, kissed her, had sex with her would be forever ingrained on her mind, but there was something different in the way he touched and kissed her now.
He left her mouth and trailed kisses along her jaw and down her neck, lingering at her throat. “Your heart’s racing.”
“It always does when I’m with you.”
Glancing up, he smiled. She ran her fingers through his hair, massaging his head. He groaned and took her nipple into his mouth, his tongue flicking over it, making it incredibly hard. Sensations ricocheted through her body, and she arched into him, wanting more. Tanner dragged his mouth up the valley between her breasts, over her neck and jaw, and back to her lips.
She hooked one of her legs around his, and he pushed his hips forward. His erection rubbed over her thin shorts and against her sensitive folds. She met his thrust and breathed his name as if on a prayer.
His only answer was to move farther down her body and close his mouth around her other nipple. The way he teased her was astounding. No man had ever taken such care in touching her. Was he as loving and tender with his other girlfriends, too? The thoughts came unbidden, and she was powerless to stop them. She wanted to believe she was special, that he was treating her in a way he’d never treated anyone else. Because, for once in her life, she wanted to be that person to someone else.
He kissed down her stomach, and her body erupted in goose bumps, her flesh electrified by his lips. “I love touching you, Jules.” Tanner curled his fingers into the waistband of her shorts and tugged them over her hips. Then he placed a kiss to her hip, and she shuddered.
He removed her shorts and then got off the bed to remove his, too. Juliana licked her lips, her gaze feasting on the perfection of his body. She wanted to touch him, but he seemed to have other plans. He kneeled on the foot of the bed and smoothed his hands up her legs, spreading them wider.
“I love knowing you want me as badly as I want you.” He pressed his thumb to her clit, and she arched off the bed, crying out with pleasure. “I love kissing you.” He spread her lips, lowered his head, and sucked her clit into his mouth.
Juliana clutched the bedsheets and closed her eyes, biting on her bottom lip. She’d never trusted any of the guys she’d been with to go down on her, so she was technically a virgin in that regard. Should she tell him? Would he stop? She didn’t want him to stop. Oh God! She moaned loudly. The way he was licking her…she couldn’t begin to describe it, but sweet Lord, she wanted to grab his head and hold him there, it was so good.
“I love how you taste.” He kissed the inside of her thigh. His ascent back up her body was torturously slow. “I love how your body feels beneath mine.”
The urge to cry at his words consumed her thoughts. How could he make her feel so alive, so loved, with a few simple words? He once again settled between her parted legs, and she could feel his hard length.
“I love being with you,” he whispered before claiming her lips.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back with such desperation she didn’t even think about what she was doing. It was instinctual. She lifted her hips, greeting him as he entered her.
One of his hands was on her hip, holding her as he eased into her. His face was contorted with pleasure, his jaw clenched. “Shit… You feel so good.” His voice was tight, breathless, and full of need.
She moaned into his mouth. And it wasn’t until he was fully buried inside that reality dawned on her. “Tanner… Condom…” He wasn’t wearing one.
He smoothed the hair from her face and rested his forearms on either side of her head, their bodies still joined. “If you want me to stop and put one on, I will.” He nipped at her lips. “But I don’t want to.”
“I don’t want you to stop.”
His lips were back on hers, and then he was moving inside her, slow and steady. He took his time, never once rushing, their bodies working together as one. She could feel every inch of him, every imperfection. Every movement was magnified, doubling and tripling her pleasure. It was hands down the most intense feeling in the world.
“God, Jules.” Tanner groaned. “You feel so fucking good. I love being inside you.”
Juliana clutched his face, bringing his mouth back to hers. She never wanted this to end, never wanted to go back to the nights where she’d go to bed alone, wondering why she was never good enough to be truly loved. She’d never survive.
The room started to spin, and her vision clouded around the edges. She closed her eyes and clung to him as he drew them both closer and closer to orgasm. He nipped at her shoulder and swelled inside her, stretching her to an almost painful level. She cried out, his name falling from
her lips while she rocked against him.
“Fuck.” He grunted, putting his weight onto his arms and thrusting into her harder, faster. “I’m gonna come. Tell me what you want.”
She didn’t even need to think about it. Hooking her feet under his ass, she held him to her, a clear signal she didn’t want him to pull out. She wanted all of him, and there was no way in hell she was going to short either of them from this experience.
“God, don’t stop.” She was so close she could feel her body tightening, responding to his movements.
“You sure?”
She nodded. “It’s okay. I’m on the pill,” she whispered hoarsely.
He slid his arms under her shoulders and used his hold to pull her down while he thrust up. His orgasm crashed into her with such force, she cried out, his name almost a full-blown scream. He held her to him as his body trembled and shook. His face was buried in her neck, his breath hot and ragged. She was completely enveloped in his arms, his skin hot and sweaty against hers, and for the first time since her parents left this world, she didn’t have a bone-deep feeling of utter loneliness.
She stroked the nape of his neck, and he squeezed her tighter. Sex without a condom was much more intense, and the feeling of him coming inside her… It was erotic and dangerous, but it was right, too. At least, it was for her.
“Juliana.” His voice cracked, and he adjusted to be able to see her face.
There was an odd look in his eyes, and her heart all but stopped. If he said he regretted what just happened, or if he said it shouldn’t have happened at all, she was going to die. Not of mortification, but of heartbreak. For her, it was the single best moment of her life. She’d given him all the trust she had in her, and if he didn’t realize that… She turned her head, unable to look at him when he said how stupid they’d been.
He eased out of her, and she felt the sting of tears in the back of her throat. It was bad enough she cried in front of him earlier; she wouldn’t cry now. But when he didn’t move off her, she relaxed a little. He turned her head so she faced him. And then he kissed her in a way he never had before, a way that caused all her fears and insecurities to slip away.
His arms rested on either side of her head again, his hands smoothing her hair away from her face. “I love you, Juliana.”
She thought she made a noise that sounded like a squeal, but she wasn’t sure, because her ears were ringing, her face burned hot, and her heart hammered so hard she thought she was going to bust a few ribs. Tanner loved her. No one else had ever said those words to her.
“I love you, too,” she blurted out, afraid he’d take the words back if she didn’t say something soon. She cupped his cheeks in her palms. “God, Tanner. I love you so much.”
He sighed with relief and kissed her again. Then he slowly moved off her and lay on his back. He reached for her, bringing her over so her head was on his chest. She yawned and snuggled closer to him, drawing lazy circles on his chest.
He kissed the top of her head then yawned. “Go to sleep, baby. I won’t leave you.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Tanner awoke the following morning to the feel of Juliana curled up next to him, in the same position she’d fallen asleep. The events of last night raced through his mind. The fight. Her confessions. Admitting they were in love. Their lovemaking. The lack of protection. That was something he’d never done before, with anyone. He draped his arm over his face and exhaled loudly. What the hell had he been thinking coming inside her? He hadn’t been thinking.
It was hard to regret, though, because it had been amazing, and being inside her without a condom was so fucking hot. He honestly doubted he’d ever be able to go back to using protection when he was with her. Besides, she was taking birth control, and he trusted she was responsible in that regard.
Juliana held his heart now, all of it, and he knew without a doubt she was the woman he wanted to be with. Forever.
“What’re you thinking about?” Her sleep-laden voice brought a smile to his face.
“Last night.”
“Good things I hope.” She folded her hands on his chest and rested her chin on them.
He remained silent. His opinion on last night was still divided. Physically and emotionally he wanted to have several repeat performances, but logically he knew it wasn’t the smartest thing they could’ve done.
“I want to apologize for how my brothers treated you last night.” He was still pissed about that, and his brothers were going to get an earful.
“They didn’t know, and they were just looking out for you. It’s really okay.”
“No, it’s not okay. They always do this. They push and push and push.” He shook his head and eased into a sitting position. She sat up, too, tucking the blanket around her naked body. He put his arm around her.
“Ryder used to have this girl he was getting serious with. Amy. She was constantly talking about marrying Ryder and all the things she was going to do with his money. She didn’t even bother to hide the fact that’s all she wanted. Xander and I tried to tell Ryder she was no good, but he kept insisting she was joking about the money.”
“What happened?” She draped her arm across his body and gave him a hug.
“Xander and I both took a hundred grand from our trust funds and paid her to break up with him. I was surprised it worked. I couldn’t figure out why she’d take two hundred grand when she could’ve stuck it out for millions. Ryder was pissed as hell when he found out.”
“Yeah, I bet.”
Tanner caressed her arm. “My point is, sometimes we think we know what’s best for one another when it’s really none of our damn business.”
“You may not like how they do things, but their intentions are good. You should be glad you have brothers who care so much. I have no one, and it sucks.”
“You have me. I care. A lot.” He put his hand under her chin and turned her face up to him. “Please don’t ever forget that.”
“Tell me more about your family.”
He brushed his lips over hers. “They’re great. I know they’ll love you.” He paused, thinking about what it would feel like to bring her home to meet his parents, to have them welcome her into the family.
“Tanner?”
“Sorry.” He smiled. “My dad works on Wall Street. That’s how he made so much money so early on. He’s great at buying low and selling high. My mother used to be an independent grant proposal writer. But once Ryder was born, she gave it up to be a stay-at-home mom.”
“I always wanted siblings. When my parents were alive, I liked being an only child, but once they died and I was tossed into the system… I don’t know. I often wondered if things would’ve been different if I had a younger sibling. Maybe I would’ve fought harder to stay in one of the homes I’d been placed in.”
Tanner had no idea how to respond, so he pulled her closer, rested his cheek atop her head, and resumed caressing her arm. He couldn’t imagine being that young and feeling so alone all the time. Hell, he couldn’t wrap his mind around going through life being alone.
“I was one of the lucky ones, I guess. None of my foster parents ever abused me, but there were a few who saw me as a paycheck and nothing else. It was easy to get out of those homes. Act up, break some rules, and they were quick to call my caseworker to come take me back.”
“I’m sorry.”
“The last home I had, the Fergusons, I liked them. Mr. Ferguson was a major gear head. He taught me everything I know about cars. I liked the high school I attended, too. For the first time, I had real friends. I belonged.” She fell silent, her fingers tracing the definition of his abs.
Every time her hands were on him, it was with adoration, love, acceptance. He could feel it in her touch. “What happened with the Fergusons?” he asked.
Her hand stilled. “I got into trouble.”
“You got into trouble? I don’t believe it.”
She playfully elbowed him. “Trust me. It wasn’t intentional.”
/> That sounded more accurate. Juliana was not a troublemaker, and he couldn’t imagine her as such. “What happened?”
“I was always the outcast; the weird loner girl who didn’t have any parents and no real home. Didn’t have any friends, either, because what was the point? I’d just be shipped off to another home and another school. Attachments were an unnecessary complication. But when I was with the Fergusons, things were different, better, and I made some real friends. Or at least, I thought I had. I went to my first-ever high school party with them. Things got out of hand, and all fingers pointed to me.” She frowned. “The whole thing was stupid, really, but it was enough to get me sent away. Again.”
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“It probably wouldn’t have been a big deal except it happened at the same time Mrs. Ferguson found out she was pregnant. They said they didn’t want a troublemaker in their home when they were expecting a baby; they couldn’t handle the stress of both. She was high risk, so that didn’t help, either.”
Tanner closed his eyes and squeezed her a little tighter. He’d wanted her, admired her, loved her long before this weekend, but now that he knew everything she’d been through, all the heartache and struggles, his respect for her intensified. “You’re the strongest person I’ve ever known.”
“Are you close with your parents?”
“Yes.” Tanner rolled so she was on her back and his upper body was resting on hers. Then he stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. “I love you, Juliana, and I can’t imagine ever being without you. I’m sorry that meant you had to move yet again.”
“I’m not.”
He leaned down and kissed her. This compulsion he had to constantly be near her was beginning to consume him. How the fuck was he going to survive when they got back to campus and he couldn’t spend every minute with her? He moved to her neck and teased the soft spot right below her ear. He’d learned very quickly how much that spot drove her crazy.
“I have the best idea.” He grinned.
“What?”
