by Lexi Lawton
…
Juliana adjusted the strap of her backpack and hurried across the quad. She wanted to get into the science building as quickly as possible so she wouldn’t have to talk to Tanner before class. That had become his MO—catching up to her, walking with her to class, trying to rebuild a friendship with her. And she was falling for it. As badly as she wanted to hold on to her anger, he was slowly chipping away at her resolve.
She’d made it almost all the way across the quad when she abruptly stopped. “Xander?” There was no way Tanner’s brother was sitting in the quad. She had to be seeing things.
“Jules!” He stood and rushed toward her, scooping her up in an enthusiastic and slightly awkward hug.
“What’re you doing here?”
He shrugged and peeked over her head and then around her. “Tanner called, told me what happened.”
“That doesn’t explain why you’re here, though.” A nagging feeling welled up in the back of her mind, and she knew she wasn’t going to like what he had to say.
“He asked me to talk to you, and I figured I’d have better luck in person.” He grinned.
And she couldn’t stop from smiling back at him. He had that effect on people. She shook her head. “I hate to tell you this, but you wasted a trip.”
“Well, that’s yet to be seen.” He draped his arm around her shoulders. “Got some time now? We can go grab coffee.”
“I have class.” She averted her gaze. Even though she knew the end of her relationship with Tanner wasn’t her fault, it was still embarrassing. He’d cheated on her with someone as vile as Rebecca. What did that say about her? Xander didn’t pull any punches, and she wasn’t about to sit around and listen to him side with his brother on this matter.
“Skip it. This is way more important.”
“Xander.” She moved away from him, his arm falling to his side. “I think it’s great you came here to help your brother, but there’s nothing anyone can say that’s going to change anything.”
“You’re wrong.” He crossed his arms, his carefree expression changing into something harder and unyielding. It was the same look he’d given her in the bowling alley when he’d demanded to know if she was a gold digger. “I know my brother, and while he can be a dumbass, he did not cheat on you, Jules. I’d stake my dick and my nuts on that fact.”
“I have pictures to prove otherwise.”
“Do you?” He raised a brow, challenging her. “I know you have pictures, but how do you know they’re real? Everyone is a fucking Photoshop guru nowadays.”
Her jaw dropped. That thought never once crossed her mind. Would Rebecca really go to the trouble of faking pictures in bed with Tanner?
“Tanner loves you, and he wouldn’t do this. It’s not in his DNA,” Xander said.
The conviction in his tone had her second-guessing everything. Was it possible Rebecca had done something sneaky just to be a bitch? Why would she do that, though? And Juliana had relentlessly tortured herself by looking at those pictures. She didn’t know why she hadn’t just deleted them. Maybe she was becoming a masochist. There were no doubts in her mind, though—that was Tanner in bed with Rebecca. She knew his body, intimately, and it was him.
“Whether it was intentional or not, he was in bed with her,” she said. “I can’t just forget and move on.”
“Tanner is a lot of things, but he’s not a cheater. I’m going to prove it to you. Mark my words.”
“There’s nothing to prove.” Impatience unraveled inside of her. “Tanner had sex with Rebecca. End of story.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. It’s not even fucking close to the end of the story. There’s something else going on here, and I’m going to find out what.”
She sighed. If only that were true. “Whatever. Look, I really need to go before I’m late.”
“Fine. Go on. Get to class. I’ll catch up with you later.” He turned and walked away.
Juliana stared after him for a moment. Was there any truth to what Xander said? Was it possible this was nothing more than a huge setup? Or do I want that to be the case so much that I’m just fooling myself? Forcing the silly thoughts from her mind, she headed to class. But she couldn’t fully shake the doubt he’d planted in her head. Had Tanner been honest when he said he didn’t remember anything? Either way, every time she thought about letting him back in, it paralyzed her with fear. She didn’t trust him, and she wasn’t sure she ever could again.
Chapter Thirty-Five
The days turned into weeks, and things with Juliana weren’t any better. Despite all his efforts to be her friend, he hadn’t made any progress. She’d agreed to hang out in group settings, but Devon was always present, too, hovering around like her personal bodyguard, which made it damn near impossible to talk to her. But giving up wasn’t an option.
And now, to make matters worse, Thanksgiving was in three days, which meant he wouldn’t see her at all for almost a week. Talk about depressing. He’d truly thought he would be bringing her home and introducing her to his parents. How had things gone so wrong?
With a heavy sigh, he trudged across campus for his last class before break. He should’ve skipped. As he approached Reinbeck Hall, he noticed Devon making a beeline toward him. Tanner’s muscles tensed, and he mentally prepared himself for another fight, although that was the last thing he wanted to do.
“Got a minute?” Devon asked, coming to a stop in front of Tanner.
“That depends.” He folded his arms. “What do you want?”
“I want to talk to you about Jules.”
His stomach dropped. “Is she all right?” The immediate, intense concern that rocked through him was dizzying.
“As good as she can be…considering.” Devon frowned. “Look, she told me about everything, and while I don’t know what actually happened with you and Rebecca, I would hope you’re not that fucking stupid.”
“I didn’t have sex with her.” He nearly growled the words. How many times was he going to have to proclaim his innocence before anyone believed him?
“I know Rebecca’s reputation, and I’ve told Jules repeatedly that something about this isn’t right, but she swears she has proof.” He shook his head as if he didn’t quite believe that.
Tanner tilted his head. Why wouldn’t Jules have shown Devon the pictures?
“I thought she was a mess after Zach, but that was nothing compared to this. She’s utterly heartbroken.” Devon shifted on his feet and adjusted his bag on his shoulder.
Tanner’s heart splintered. “Why are you telling me this?” It’s not like he didn’t already know. He’d seen her in classes, seen the dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep, noticed the spark gone from her voice, the absence of her laughter. Every damn day he had to walk around with the guilt and the shame for how he’d hurt her. He didn’t need someone else to point it out to him.
“Because I’m tired of seeing her like this. I hate knowing how much she’s hurting, and I want to do something to help.”
Tanner’s eyebrows shot up. Was he being serious? “Are you saying you want to help me get Jules back?”
Devon nodded. “She’s too stubborn to admit it, but I know damn well she wants you back. But you have to understand how hard this is for her. Her whole life people have been turning their backs on her, and then Zach came along and destroyed what little confidence she had.” He sighed. “She took a huge leap of faith trusting you, and she feels like you betrayed her.”
“I know.” Tanner dragged his hand through his hair. “I wish I could explain what happened, but I swear to God, I don’t remember anything.” A sharp jolt of anger shot through him, and he clenched his fists to ease the desire to punch the brick building. “I know what she’s been through. She told me everything. I never meant to hurt her.”
“I know you didn’t, but shit happens.” Devon shrugged.
“So, how do I make things right with her?” He never thought he’d be having a heart-to-heart talk with Devon and as
king for his advice. But Tanner wasn’t going to turn his back on the only link he had to her.
“Keep doing what you’ve been doing. I know it probably doesn’t seem like it, but you are getting through to her. It’s just going to take more time,” Devon said.
That’s not what he wanted to hear, but it was better than nothing. “What’s she doing for Thanksgiving?”
“Staying here.”
Tanner’s jaw dropped, and he paced a few steps away, lacing his hands against the back of his neck. It had hurt less when Devon had punched him in the jaw. She was going to spend another holiday alone? Tears burned his throat, and he swallowed hard. This was all his fault.
“I’ve been trying to convince her to come home with me but—”
“Go home with you?” Tanner spun around. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah,” he said defiantly. “Now pull the stick out of your ass and listen to me.” Devon took a step closer. “Jules is my best friend, and I consider her family. But that’s where it ends. There has never been anything romantic or sexual between us, and there never will be.”
Tanner opened his mouth to speak, and Devon held up his hand to silence him.
“I know you don’t believe that, but it’s the truth. And it was your jealousy that started this whole damn thing, so I suggest you calm the fuck down. She loves you, Tanner.”
All the angry retorts died on his tongue. Devon’s words were like a bucket of ice down the pants. Tanner took a deep breath and nodded. “You’re right, and I’m sorry. I’ve never dated a girl who was so close to another guy. I don’t know how to handle it.”
“Well, if you want to make things work, you’d better figure it out.”
Tanner laughed then turned somber. “You probably know her better than I do… Is there any chance for us?”
Devon paused for a moment. “Yeah, I think so. Like I said, it’s going to take some time. I’ll do what I can to try to make her see what she’s giving up, and you keep doing whatever it is you’re doing. Maybe together we can convince her that she really does belong with you.”
“You really believe that?” Having Devon’s blessing wasn’t something Tanner ever felt he needed, or wanted, but it was obviously important to Jules, and he would do whatever it took to make her happy again.
“I do. You’re not a bad guy, and I saw how happy she was with you.”
“Thanks, man.” Tanner extended his hand. “Friends?”
“Friends.” Devon shook his hand.
Tanner smiled. “You’re a good friend to her, Devon. I’m glad she has you.” Suddenly, things were looking a lot brighter.
…
Tanner flopped down on the couch in the family room, away from the laughter and conversations happening in the kitchen. It was only noon, and today officially topped the list of the longest day of Tanner’s life, which was saying a lot considering every day since he’d lost Juliana had been excruciatingly long and unbearable. But today was worse because it was officially Thanksgiving, and he was home. In New York. Hundreds of miles away from Juliana.
His flight had arrived late last night. Ryder and Xander were already home and had picked him up from the airport. They’d grilled him about the situation with Rebecca, and he’d recounted, in painstaking detail, every second he could remember of what had happened that night, which, sadly, still wasn’t much. Xander had promised he was going to make things right. Whatever the hell he meant by that.
“Don’t you dare fall asleep,” his mother said, walking by and swatting him on the arm. “Dinner will be ready any minute.”
His stomach growled. His mother always went overboard for the holidays, cooking enough to feed several armies. “I won’t.” While he was happy to be home with his family, he couldn’t shake the sour feeling in the pit of his stomach.
Since they’d broken up, he correctly assumed Juliana wouldn’t be going home with him. And after talking with Devon, he knew she wasn’t going home with him, either, which meant she was alone. He rubbed his chest, trying to ease the sudden stab of pain. He sent her a quick text. Happy Thanksiving.
Juliana: Thanks. Happy Thanksgiving to you, too. Her response had come so fast, he wondered if she’d been waiting for him to contact her. He wanted her here with him. It was a want so damn strong he couldn’t get away from it. He wanted to introduce her to his parents and the rest of his family; he wanted to take her into the city and show her around; he wanted to go Christmas shopping with her; and he wanted to sit by the fireplace and sip hot cocoa while they watched movies. It was corny, but he didn’t care. He wanted those things with her.
“Dinner!” his mother called from the kitchen.
Reluctantly, Tanner stood and went to the table, which, as usual, was impeccably set with his mother’s best china. He kept his head down during dinner, concentrating more on his food than talking with anyone.
Xander kicked his leg under the table. “Dude, stop being fucking weird.”
Tanner shot him a dirty look then shoved another forkful of mashed potatoes in his mouth. He was being quiet, not weird. There was a difference. He finished his food and carried his plate to the sink.
“Tanner, honey, are you feeling all right?” His mom blocked the only exit from the kitchen, concern etched on her face.
“Yeah, I think I’m just tired from the late-night flight,” he lied. He kissed her cheek. “Dinner was great, as always.”
“Oh, okay. Are you going to watch the game with your father and brothers?”
He shook his head. “Nah, I’m going to take a nap.” He hadn’t missed a Thanksgiving Day football game for as long as he could remember, but he wasn’t in the mood for male bonding and sports.
His mother hugged him. “Go rest. I’ll come get you when it’s time for pie.”
“Thanks, Mom. Love you,” he called as he headed for the stairs.
As soon as he was in his room, he dialed Juliana’s number. He hadn’t expected her to answer, so when he heard her strangled hello, he was momentarily struck speechless. “Uh, hey.” That was super lame. “I wanted to call and say Happy Thanksgiving.”
“Thanks. Again.” Her laugh sounded strained and…off.
“Right. I’d texted you already.” He rubbed his hand over his face. “How are you?”
“I’m okay.” There was a sigh, or maybe she was taking a deep breath, but he didn’t miss the slight catch. Or the almost imperceptible sound of a sniffle.
A tight knot twisted his gut, and he squeezed his eyes shut. She was crying. He flexed his fingers, but the urge to hit something tingled up his arm and exploded in his chest. He should’ve stayed in Florida where he could’ve been closer to her; he never should’ve left knowing she was alone.
“How’s New York?” she asked.
“Cold.”
“Well, my lunch is ready, and I don’t want to keep you from your family.” There was too much sadness in her voice, and his heart seized painfully.
“Jules.”
“Thanks for calling.” She ended the call before he could say anything further, but he was positive she’d been crying.
Tossing his phone on the nightstand, he grabbed his bag from where he’d dropped it on the floor and set it on the bed. He had packed a few things in it when there was a knock on the door.
“Hey, Tan, you got—” Ryder walked in, his gaze darting between Tanner and the half-packed bag. “What’re you doing?”
“I’m going back to campus.” He zipped the bag and then slipped his phone into his back pocket. “And before you even try, there’s nothing you or Xander can say to stop me.”
Ryder crossed his arms. “What’re you going to tell Mom and Dad?”
Okay, except for that. He frowned. He hadn’t thought about that. It would break his mother’s heart to know he was leaving like this. She lived for the holidays when she could have all her boys back in the house. But, at the same time, if he told her the truth, she’d understand. His mother was the most compassionate woman he’d e
ver known, and she wouldn’t want anyone to be alone during the holidays. In fact, she’d be proud of him for wanting to go back.
“For Christ’s sake.” Ryder threw his hands in the air. “Come on. Xander and I will cover your ass. Like always.”
“Thanks, man. I owe you one.”
“Yeah, I’m doing this for Jules.” Ryder walked out of the room, and Tanner followed. “Because I like her. And because you’re an ass who managed to fuck up the best thing to ever happen to you.”
Tanner mumbled obscenities under his breath, and Ryder shot a dirty look over his shoulder, but there was a hint of a smile. It was one of the many things he loved and respected about his brothers—they didn’t coddle him just to make him feel better.
…
Tanner arrived back in Florida at four thirty the following day. Traveling on Black Friday was worse than going to the mall. After paying the ridiculous parking fee, he fought traffic and crowds for another hour before he finally arrived at Juliana’s apartment. And now, bags in hand, he stared at her door. Nerves stole his confidence, and he hesitated. What if she didn’t want him here? Maybe he’d been wrong and she hadn’t been crying. Maybe she liked to be alone. No. He was doing the right thing. Lifting his hand, he knocked loudly.
“I already told you. I’m not interested in whatever crap you’re selling. Now stop”—the door swung open—“Tanner?”
His heart melted at the sight of her. She wore sweatpants and a hoodie with the college logo. Her hair was down, the wild curls going in all different directions. He held up the two bags. “Are you interested in dinner? I promise you don’t have to buy anything.”
She stepped aside so he could enter. “I thought you were in New York with your family.”
“I was.” He carried the bags to the kitchen and began to unpack them. “But now I’m here.”
“Wait. Is that turkey and gravy I smell?” She’d moved into the kitchen but stood at the opposite end of the counter.
Grinning, he nodded. “Yup. I have all the fixings for a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. Mashed potatoes. Yams. Stuffing. Green bean casserole. Turkey. Gravy. Biscuits.” He took each plastic container from the bag and set it on the counter. “And, of course, I have pie. Apple and pumpkin. I wasn’t sure which you preferred.”
