by Ivory B.
“Awe Baby girl that wasn’t your fault you know that right? Douglas took his own life, just like he took thousands of innocent people’s money. You didn’t do it he did, as far as the emails go fuck it, it is what it is; all you did was put people on to him being a criminal. You probably saved more people from being ripped off.” Ty looked up into Nice’s eyes and smiled. He had a way of making her feel as if that guilt she’d been secretly holding onto for so long wasn’t worth a second thought at all. Ty dropped his foot and climbed up his body to plant a sensual kiss on his lips. “I love you Bae and yeah you’re so right.” Ty smiled as she went to take her spot back at the end of the bed and picked his foot back up. Well you know sometimes a nigga gotta finesse a situation Nice thought to himself with a smirk plastered on his face.
“Okay I love you but don’t think you off the hook. I told you a secret now you have to tell me one. I don’t wanna hear another truth, I wanna hear a secret,” Ty said with a smile. Nice looked at Ty and squinted then suddenly he burst out laughing as if he got a visual of something. “Ty I swear you better not ever repeat this shit. It’s bad enough I’m still tryna get over this after all this time.” Ty looked up at Nice and put one hand in the air and her other over her heart as if she was swearing to keep a secret.
“Yo back in the day when I was a teenager, I don’t know I think I was probably 18 or 19,” Nice paused adding a little suspense to the story. Ty was hanging off of his every word about to burst at the seams. “A’ight so I was gettin out the shower and…Yo Aunt V…” Ty put her hand up to halt him immediately, reached over and snatched the blunt from him. On second thought maybe she did need a couple more totes of this premium because already this shit wasn’t sounding right, Nice, shower, and messy ass Aunt V wasn’t a good combination. “Okay baby go ahead,” Ty said after she took a few totes. “I don’t even know how to say this but… she tried to fuck.” Nice blurted out. Ty cringed and nearly threw up that tasty French cuisine she devoured hours ago. “Get the fuck outta here! Are you serious?” “Hell yeah I’m serious, she slid up in the bathroom naked, shit was droopin and sagging,” Nice cringed and shook his head as if he were trying to shake off the mental imagery. “I’m like yo Aunt V put some fuckin clothes on. What’s wrong wit you? She gon say some shit like you grown and I ain’t really ya Aunt you know.” “Oh my gawd! Kamar stop that shit is nasty. Please tell me she at least kept her wig on?” Both Ty and Nice burst out laughing in unison. “Yeah ma she had on one of her signature wigs. I told her crazy ass I was gon scream for Mom Dukes if she ain’t get the fuck out the bathroom, she got her mind right immediately. Talkin bout please don’t tell Cat. She knew Mom Dukes woulda got up in that ass.” Ty laughed knowing what Nice said was absolutely true; Cathy loved her boys and she would’ve definitely had a problem with Aunt V pulling that mess. “She hit me up a coupla days later blaming it on the alcohol so I’ma believe that.” Ty rolled her eyes Yeah right, that crazy bitch probably wasn’t even drunk. She knew what she was doing.
“Truth or secret?” Nice asked Ty. Ty looked at him and smiled “Truth…you know what you remind me of? My favorite teddy bear…it’s your eyes; they’re dark, shiny and deep like the teddy bear my Dad gave me when I was a little girl. That’s why I just stare at you sometimes.” Nice frowned and looked over at the keepsake she was referring to sitting on her dresser. The teddy’s fur looked coarse and the body somewhat misshapen from either age or too many machine washes. The stitching was worn in certain spots leaving the stuffing to peek out. Nice then looked down at the blunt in his hand that was on its way to becoming a roach. “Ma don’t hit this shit no more,” he said through an uncomfortable chuckle. Ty looked panicked and embarrassed for a split second before she said “No I’m serious, I’m not high really. You know what forget it, I’m gettin tired anyways,” Ty dropped his foot and proceeded to lay down giving him her back. She didn’t appreciate being made fun of when she was trying to open up about something dear to her. “Hold up, I’m playin” Nice said as he pulled Ty into his chest with one arm and smashed out the rest of the blunt on a plate that was on the nightstand from a sandwich they’d shared. Ty had her back to him but she backed her backside into her spot and he spooned her from behind holding her tight.
“Ty c’mon ma lighten up, it was a joke. Sometimes I say funny shit when I’m at a loss for words. Like damn you compared me to something that ya Pop’s gave you. Ya Pop’s who you lost and love dearly. How am I supposed to react to that?” Nice said softly kissing Ty on her shoulder. Ty rolled over to face him and planted a kiss on his chest. “He wasn’t perfect,” Ty said just above a whisper. “He cheated on my mom and I found out when he passed away. Some woman wanted to sue his estate for child support after finding out about the money my mother won in the wrongful death suit. I stumbled across the legal docs when I was searching for some pictures of him in my mom’s room. You know for a long time after that my relationship with my mother was strained. I blamed her for my father cheating because…I just knew it had to be her fault he cheated. I blamed her for not loving him enough. I wild out for a little bit and put my mother through some things I’m not proud of. It wasn’t until I got older and wiser did I realize it wasn’t my mother’s fault at all, it’s like sometimes men will hurt you the most when you love them too much. I don’t know why niggaz do the shit they do.” Ty ended her rant with sad glossy eyes. Get the fuck outta here! So ole perfect Daddy wasn’t so perfect after all. Nice thought to himself.
Although, Nice felt for Ty he was kind of relieved to find out that Daddy Dearest wasn’t as perfect as he originally thought. Because really how could any man compare to another who’s immortalized in perfection? Well that’s the way Ty had always painted her father to be until now. She always expressed what a close relationship she had with him and how good of a Father, Husband and Uncle he was. Ty’s eyes began to mist up and you could literally feel her hurt from the betrayal as if it were fresh. “I really think you analyzing things too deeply. I mean…he was a man, not a god and as men sometimes we make mistakes. Yeah he may have fouled up but that don’t mean he loved ya Momz, Lucky or you any less. It be like that sometimes Ty, niggaz get caught up and don’t think with the right head, truth be told we kinda aimless and it takes a strong woman to guide us or else we lost. I’m breaking all types of G-code by telling you that so don’t tell anyone I told you,” Nice said with a sympathetic look in his eyes. “So did it turn out to be his kid?” Nice asked wondering if Ty had a sibling out here somewhere. “Nope, it wasn’t even his kid,” Ty said solemnly. “Now I want you to answer a truth,” Ty whispered. “Would you ever hurt me like that?” Ty looked into his eyes wanting badly to feel secure in the love she felt for him. “No. Ty I wouldn’t.” Ty gave a weak smile leaned in and kissed his neck before snuggling closer and falling off to sleep. Nice laid awake hoping and praying he would be able to keep his word. He didn’t intend or plan on hurting Ty but this was real life and nothing was ever guaranteed or perfect.
“Kamar get up! Kamar get up,” Ty repeated nagging the hell out of Nice who was lying on his stomach with a pillow over his head. He was doing something he rarely ever did and that was sleep in late on the weekend, well at least he was trying to but Ty was throwing a wrench in that plan. Due to her career she was used to getting up early mornings no matter how late her nights were. Her internal alarm clock was conditioned to get up and get ready for work even on the weekends. Nice was no different, he was usually up and on the move early mornings because of that hustla’s ambition Los Sr. instilled in him at a young age. Los Sr.’s motto was Rise and Grind, but last night or should he say this morning was crazy! Ty was in one of her vulnerable moods after sharing that secret about her Pop’s. The fact Nice said all the right things to her was reward enough for her to get up at 4 in the morning and bless him with some super dome before she hopped on top and road him back to sleep. Now she was up bothering him to get up only a few minutes to 8 AM.
Nice reached out for Ty and tri
ed to pull her to lie down next to him. “Unh, unh, Kamar no we gotta go and pick up my baby. She called already.” Nice shook his head under the pillow he cursed the day Lucky gave that Brat a damn cell phone and taught her how to use it. Ky would worry someone to death calling every 10 minutes about nothing at all. “Ty she with my Momz she straight.” “Nice I know she’s fine but…” “Can I hit it in the mornin?” Nice sang interrupting Ty’s rant. Ty looked at him and smirked as he continued to sing all off key. “You already did or have you forgotten?” Nice laughed “No ma I ain’t forget that’s why a nigga still in bed.” Ty laughed before snatching the pillow from his head and kissing him atop his head. “A’ight Bam Bam you did put in major work this morning so I’ll let you catch some more Z’s” The last thing Nice could remember was Ty pulling the sheet up over his back as he drifted off to sleep.
Homesick
Lucky shot up out of her sleep gripped her stomach and ran to the bathroom. After wiping herself she looked down at the tissue in utter shock. She didn’t have to turn the bathroom light on to know what was on the tissue. The irony smell along with the cramps that ran up her lower back and abdomen confirmed it was blood. At that very moment Lucky lost it; she sobbed so hard she actually surprised herself at the fit she threw. How could this be? She was absolutely positive she was pregnant. She hadn’t purposely set out to get pregnant and knew breaking off her relationship with Los while knocked up wasn’t exactly ideal timing after she’d gotten over the initial shock of an unplanned pregnancy she was actually happy. She’d already convinced herself into thinking she could handle being a single mother since her and Los were done as far as she was concerned. She was at the point of feeling as if she didn’t need Los for anything regarding their baby not even monetary support; she could do it on her own. Lucky had warmed up to the idea of having her own bundle of joy only to be left crushed. This was the baby that would never be because she wasn’t pregnant after all. Lucky walked back into the bedroom, climbed in bed, and curled into a ball gripping her stomach as silent tears ran down her face. She admitted to herself at that moment she did indeed want a baby and not just any baby but Carlos’ baby. Nah unh unh, no I’m buggin it’s my hormones. I don’t want shit to do with that man and I’m quite sure after getting him arrested he don’t want anything to do with me either. Too much has happened in this relationship I need to let go, was the last thought that crossed Lucky’s mind before she drifted off into a deep sleep.
“Damn! I can’t believe I forgot to pack pads and tampons.” Lucky spat while rummaging through her book bag for the umpteenth time as if this time some might appear out of thin air. She sighed hard giving up the search flopping down on the semi comfortable hotel bed rubbing the side of her stomach. Lucky had a heavy flow, killer cramps, and no pads, tampons, or pain killers her situation was fucked right now. It looked as if she would have to take that dreaded trip to the outside world. She’d been locked away in the hotel room for a little over a month ordering take out or room service when she could actually get something down on her stomach. Now a trip outside was inevitable. Plus her cravings were at an all time high, Lucky couldn’t figure out what she wanted more something sweet or salty but one thing she was certain of she needed chocolate ASAP.
The nearest Target was about 20 minutes from the hotel according to the front desk clerk. For Lucky being outside felt a little weird but the fresh air and breeze whipping across her face was refreshing. Her trip to Target ended up taking longer than she expected since this wasn’t her local store and she didn’t know where everything was located. Finally, an hour and a half later she made her way to the checkout line peering into her shopping cart making sure she had everything she came for. Double stuffed Oreo cookies, Ben and Jerry’s chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, lays potato chips, and a jar of pickles. She had also stocked up on pads, tampons, feminine wipes and body wash, in addition to grabbing another pregnancy test. Yes, she couldn’t seem to accept the fact she wasn’t pregnant. Call it thirsty or whatever you want she was having trouble believing she wasn’t pregnant. Her period was never really reliable because of the birth control she was on, she hadn’t had a normal cycle in sometime now and no birth control was ever full proof. She just needed confirmation that she wasn’t pregnant and this test would be that confirmation. Dr. Lynn’s only explanation when Lucky called her an hour ago was late cycles or none at all could be the side effect to birth control or stress. That sounded about right with the amount of stress she’d been going through lately. As Lucky was passing the electronics department she was overwhelmed by a sudden feeling that she hadn’t had since being gone, an immense feeling of homesickness. She stopped in the department deciding to cop a prepaid cellular phone to call back home. Lucky grabbed a prepaid phone and stood in line with an Us Weekly magazine looking at all the latest celebrity drama. It’s so much better reading about other people’s drama than living through my own.
“Beautiful, if that man stressin you like that you don’t need him.” Lucky heard a deep voice say. She lifted her eyes to set them on a fine, tall, deep caramel complexed man. Lucky couldn’t help but blush suddenly feeling a little self conscious about her appearance, knowing she hadn’t put much effort or thought into her looks since she’d been away from home. “I don’t wanna step on another man’s toes so I’ll ask you first, do you have a man?” Lucky found herself looking away from his piercing eyes. “It’s complicated.” was the only response Lucky gave. “What if I told you I could make things simple?” Lucky chuckled. When she laughed it seemed as if her eyes sparkled and the stranger in front of her was almost enamored by her beauty. “A’ight Playa, Playa that was a good one.” Lucky said through light laughter. He chuckled along with her then became very serious “I’m serious though, why don’t you let me take you out? Show you a good time and alleviate some of that stress you been obviously going through” Alleviate some of that stress? Uhh I know this dude ain’t tryna hit, nigga I don’t think so! Lucky flashed the stranger an offensive look and he quickly jumped to clarify his words. “No, I meant take you out for a bite to eat and a few laughs that’s all.” Lucky stood there for a second really deliberating whether or not she should take him up on his offer. It only took her seconds to come to the conclusion that she couldn’t. It wasn’t like Los hadn’t been doing him, that much was obvious with the chick she caught him with but she couldn’t. Los still reigned supreme over her heart and he had staked claim to it a long time ago. Although, it had been a little over a month since she’d walked out on him and said she gave up on the relationship and loving him, it was becoming clear that it was a feat easier said than done.
“No thank you.” The stranger’s eyes flashed a hint of disappointment before they boldly roamed her body then fell on her shopping cart and spied its contents. Lucky looked up and shifted uncomfortably. Damn you nosey. “So let me ask you something. Why a beautiful lady like ya’self out here coppin a prepaid phone? Damn the dude you wit can’t afford to do no better than this? He could’ve at least got you a phone with a plan. I could spoil you ma” Lucky looked at him and burst out into hard laughter. “You have no idea.” was her only response through a bright smile. The dude didn’t look like a slouch in the paper department but she would bet her trust fund he wasn’t holding a quarter to what Los had. “You sure I couldn’t take you out for dinner as friends that’s it?” “I’m sure; I guess I’m not ready to leave my situation.” Lucky said shocking herself by admitting it for the first time aloud. He looked at her with disappointed but understanding eyes. It was clear whoever the man was had her heart and her loyalty. “I can respect that, tell ya man, oh I meant ya situation he’s lucky and he should start treating you as such, not having you out here lookin all down.” Lucky gave him a smirk “Okay I’ll be sure to pass that message on to my situation,” she countered with the same sarcastic tone he used when he said situation. She then laughed lightly before pushing her cart up further in line to check out. The stranger watched as one of the baddes
t chicks he had ever laid eyes on walked away. Wow how can some niggaz be so blind to what they have? Is all he could think.
The first thing Lucky did when she got back to the room was rush into the bathroom to take the Clear Blue pregnancy test. The results were obvious she wasn’t pregnant. Lucky’s eyes started watering but she didn’t cry just then. She walked back into the bedroom solemnly snatching up the packet of double stuffed Oreo cookies. She hadn’t even realized she was crying until she was almost done with the first cookie and felt a tear drop on her wrist. Oh god my fuckin period got me crying over everything, I just need to go to sleep. As of late sleep seemed to be her best friend. When you slept you weren’t constantly reminded of how crazy your life was and the hurt from heartbreak didn’t hurt so much.
In her dream Lucky felt hands roam her body, strong familiar hands. She knew this touch probably better than she knew the alphabet. Then the smell, oh how that smell was so intoxicating and she could sense it from miles away. Lucky moaned out loud as she felt those strong hands fondle her erect nipples then slowly make their way to her awaiting love box. Those same hands trailed down her stomach with a sense of ownership and possessiveness yet the touch was soothing only gently brushing against her soft skin like a feather. Fingers gently stroked up and down her womanhood teasing her swollen clit that was peeking from her southern lips. Stroke after stroke left Lucky seeping with wetness. She gasped as she felt a finger press down on her engorged clit then twirl it around in a circular motion. Lucky’s hips rose from the mattress wantingly urging those fingers to stop teasing and find their way home. Just as those fingers went to slip deep inside her wetness Los’ deep voice whispered in her ear, “You know I love you right?” Lucky jolted out of her sleep in a sweat. Her heart beating so hard she could hear it. She looked around the darkened room bewildered and frightened. His voice was so clear she was having trouble believing it was only a dream. Lucky fumbled with the lamp on the nightstand turning it on as her eyes scanned the room. Once she was absolutely sure hearing his voice was only a dream she could feel anger start to course her body. “I swear that man is always fucking up, he could literally fuck up a wet dream. First he ruins my life and now he’s ruining my dreams too,” Lucky fussed before getting out of bed she needed a cold shower in the worst way.
