by Ivory B.
There was so much going on in her head at the moment and she didn’t feel as if Jah understood. Keema wasn’t feeling much like herself as of late, her body had changed. This time around she wasn’t lucky enough to escape the wrath of stretch marks, no vitamin E oil or Mederma could prevent them. Keema was still battling with post pregnancy weight and she didn’t feel sexy, she didn’t feel desired, she felt like a mom. Jah was on his paper chase harder than usual. He brought home the bacon while Keema took care of the kids and home but somehow this didn’t seem fair, it felt as if Jah had the much easier job. And to add another stressor to this already crazy situation was their constant beef over her grandmother. Keema could admit that her grandmother hadn’t been the best to her but Sister G took her in as a child when no one else would. Somehow Keema felt indebted to her for doing so, even though life with Sister G had been anything but easy.
Keema grabbed her phone and called the first person that came to mind, she needed a pure unbiased person to talk to. Not someone who was going to take her side and scream fuck Jah off the rip. Lucky saw her phone flashing as she sat Indian style on the floor with a book thick enough to be an encyclopedia on her lap and several printed out research articles on the floor beside her. She was so busy reading and highlighting points to use in her research paper she almost missed the call. Once she heard the ringtone she knew it was Keema. “Keem Keem what up mama?” Lucky didn’t hear anything at first, she was about to say hello when she heard Keema sniffle then go completely in.
“I just walked out on that muthafucka and the kids! Jah is really gettin on my damn nerves Lucky. I can’t take his ass sometimes. He hasn’t been home in almost a week then complains about boxes not being packed! I’m feeling like we both parents so why am I doing the majority of the work? Then it’s always a issue with him and my grandmother, he gotta problem wit me helping her financially, is he forgetting she the one who took me in. I could’ve been in a foster home getting raped every night…” Keema went on for another two minutes not even taking a breath. Ooohhkay what the hell is goin on over there? Lucky thought to herself. Keema was sounding super stressed at the moment but this was life she couldn’t have possibly thought having two kids back to back would be easy Lucky thought as Keema ranted. Lucky knew Keema better than most so she could hear the hurt in her tone and knew it was way more upsetting her than the argument with Jah. “Keem hold up let’s be honest here what are you really upset about? And it’s not Jah being gone because Keem honestly you knew what it was before you had those kids just like I know how it’ll be when Los and I have kids. But on some real Keem this is about your grandmother isn’t it? You’re upset about her not being there for you.” “Lucky no I’m not.” “Yes you are and it’s okay I know how it is to want to see the good in someone, but Keem just because a person is fam don’t mean they for you, trust me,” Lucky said. Keema assumed Lucky was referring to her father. Keema still couldn’t believe the things Lucky been through as a child. When Lucky told her Keema was rendered speechless all she could do was shed a few tears for her little Sis but to her surprise Lucky didn’t shed one tear.
Keema’s goose was cooked and she knew it, she burst out crying and talking at the same time. “Lucky I really wanted to believe she changed but the more I look at things it’s like…its starting to become so clear and then I gotta put up with Jah ignorant ass throwing it up in my face to hurt me.” “No Keem I don’t think it’s that…I mean Jah’s comments were in bad taste but I think he’s frustrated because he thinks you can’t see how your grandmother comes with a price. Look at it this way, Jah done seen you at ya worst; fucked up, dusty the whole nine and he still saw the beauty in you and loved you Keem. You didn’t have to have anything to offer him for him to love you. Now ya peoples a different story, Keema lets not play dumb you know damn well they know who you married to. They probably heard through hood gossip how he gets it, they see the type of cars he drive and I’m quite sure they see you shinning now. So it strikes me as suspect that your grandmother reaches out to you when she could’ve a long time ago.” “Lucky I know but I feel real fucked up leaving my grandmother high and dry like that. We helped her get into that expensive apartment what I look like cuttin her off financially now? I know she fucked up but I gotta look out.” “Yeah but to what extent? You can’t keep giving and giving to the point its causing problems in your marriage. I mean really Keema is Sister G worth your marriage? I’ll answer that question for you, hell no! You don’t owe your grandmother shit, real talk. Ya grandmother has kids and other grandchildren, as a matter of fact don’t ya Aunt live with her? If she living there she should be footin some of the bills, it shouldn’t be all on you to take care of her. How was she gettin by before y’all started talkin? Listen tell her you got five notes or a little more for her per month, she can take it or leave it but your marriage and family comes first. Keem you and I both know this relationship is dysfunctional, a successful relationship has to have both give and take and if you’re not getting nothing out of this relationship with your grandmother but constantly giving…well there’s a problem.” Lucky was getting in Keema’s ass and trying to be as gentle as possible knowing her grandmother was a sensitive subject but she wouldn’t be a true friend if she didn’t tell Keema the real. “I know, I know you right Luck, I’m…I’m just not feeling like myself and Jah’s not around as much as I want him to be, I’m feeling overwhelmed and it’s like he don’t get it,” Keema said through sniffles. All the more reason you shouldn’t be stressin over ya trifflin ass grandmother. “I know Keem talk to him, communication is key and I ain’t ever known you and Jah to be lacking in that department. You two are candid with each other a little too candid,” Lucky laughed as she thought back on a story Keema told her about being constipated while pregnant and Jah helping her out in the bathroom. “Go upstairs Keema, text me as soon as you up there so I know you got in safe. Don’t stress about packing I’ll be over this weekend to help you and I’ll call Ty and Mika too, we’ll make it a packin party.” “No Lucky I know you really busy with school starting I’ll do it.” “No you won’t we’ll be over there, plus I miss my bitches it’s been a second since we all got up.” Keema smiled before relenting it was obvious Lucky wasn’t going to take no for an answer no matter how proud Keema was acting. “Alright I’ll see you Saturday, love you Luck and ya ass shouldn’t have ever stopped going to school for psych.” Lucky let out a hearty laugh “Then I wouldn’t have the time to be your very own personal on-call shrink if I hadn’t. Love you Keem Keem,” Lucky said with a tinge of concern in her voice before hanging up. Lucky looked at her phone and contemplated calling Jah and getting in his ass for a fleeting moment but then she decided to fall back and let love work itself out. If there was one thing she knew for certain is that Jah and Keem could weather any storm.
Jah couldn’t explain the feeling if he tried; it was an uncomfortable feeling, panic and anxiety all mixed up in one. Keema had left and he actually let her leave. He wanted to punch himself for letting his pride put him in a predicament like this. Los Sr. used to say, Listen boy, Lose ya pride over something you love. Don’t lose something you love over ya pride. He didn’t get it then but boy did he now. After pacing back and forth from the living room to the kitchen more times than he could count he couldn’t take it anymore he had to go and find his wife. He ran into the kids shared nursery and started grabbing clothes to throw on them. His princess sucked on her balled up fist feverishly with her eyes closed as he carefully placed her in her bunting trying his best not to aggravate her too much, knowing he lacked what mommy had if she started crying for milk. It took him all of 15 minutes but finally he was slipping out of the front door with his children. Would he follow after his wife? Hell yeah to the ends of the earth if need be. He was planning to get his wife and bring her back home. If he had to apologize for the out of pocket shit he said that was fine he was willing to do that. Jah had learned quickly that marriage wasn’t easy it took compromise lots of it, patience,
love, and hard work. He was willing to roll up his sleeves and put in that work to get his house back in order.
Jah scooped his son into his arms after he locked the front door. Here he had Jahzera in a baby carrier strapped to his chest and Lil Jah on his hip carrying both of them to the elevator. When he got down to the lobby floor he walked briskly over to the front desk when he noticed Ralph standing there on duty. “Hey Ralph what up? Have you seen my wi…” “She’s in the garage sitting in her car,” Ralph cut Jah off answering his question before he could even finish it. “She’s been there for some time now she hasn’t moved. I went and checked on her about 10 minutes ago and she said she was alright but she looks upset, like she’s been crying” Ralph’s eyes traveled to Jah giving him an accusatory look. “Damn she been there all this time,” Jah said under his breath in disbelief. So his baby wasn’t walking out on him after all. Knowing Keema she probably couldn’t even find it in her to turn the car on but she down here frontin to teach me a lesson. A’ight I see you Ma lesson learned. “A’ight Ralph good lookin out, thanks for checking on her,” Jah said giving Ralph dap with his free hand. “She probably needs a lil more time to herself so I won’t bother her, just do me a solid and hit me on the horn upstairs if she leaves.” “Will do,” Ralph said stiffly as if he was saying yes sir in an army roll call. Ralph may have been a stiff but he was good peoples and Jah could admit he would miss him when they moved. Jah turned to head back to his apartment when Ralph’s comment suddenly stopped him. “You know you’re a lucky man and you have a beautiful family.” It wasn’t what Ralph said it was how he said it. Jah got the message loud and clear. Ralph was trying to tell Jah man to man don’t fuck up what he had. “Yeah, thanks man, I’m tryna keep it that way,” Jah assured before boarding the elevator to go back to his apartment. Within minutes of getting in and undressing the kids they were both out like lights. Jah put the kids down then sat on the couch in the darkened living room waiting on Keema. He thought about their past and all it took to have them where they were now. Jah could remember them laying up in nasty hotel rooms and him promising her the world marriage, kids, and a house. Maybe she never took him to be serious with all the dirt he pulled back then but he was dead ass, he always knew Keema was his future.
Keema’s heart raced as she stuck her key into the lock. A part of her was hoping everyone in the house was asleep so she wouldn’t have to touch the issues looming in the air tonight. She was drained emotionally and physically from crying her heart out in the car so rehashing an argument with Jah is something she didn’t want to do. “Shit!” Keema shrieked placing her hand to her chest as she nearly jumped out of her skin once she realized Jah was sitting in the darkened living room. Jah had his elbows to his knees and his head in his hands. He didn’t utter a word to her or even look up so she ignored him as well tiptoeing by him straight up the stairs to check on the kids. When she walked into the nursery she could see both of her angels sleeping peacefully. She walked up to Jahzera’s crib first and placed a kiss on the sleeping baby’s forehead. Keema went to do the same with baby Jah and noticed he had his wool hat on his head and was sweating bullets. “Oh my god why you got this hat on?” Keema whispered more to herself as she pulled the hat off his head and ran her hand over his damp frizzy braids. “I forgot to take it off of him,” Jah’s deep voice came from behind causing Keema to freeze for a split second. Jah caught Keema’s reaction as he approached her slowly. “You brought them out?” Keema asked with slight attitude about to go into Mama Bear overprotective mode. “Yeah I came to get you.” Keema turned around to face him and stared blankly trying to comprehend what Jah just said. “You came looking for me?” “Of course I did Meema,” Jah said stepping into Keema’s personal space; he reached out and cradled the sides of her face as he brought his head down so they were forehead to forehead. “Keem of course I came for you.” Keema looked into Jah’s eyes and started getting emotional. Here she was thinking he didn’t value their marriage or love her like he used to but of course he did. “I don’t like this space we in right now tell me what’s wrong so I can make it better,” Jah said sincerely. “Don’t cry Meema,” Jah said softly as tears began to roll down Keema’s cheeks. “C’mon,” Jah said leading her out of the room so that they wouldn’t wake the kids.
Keema followed Jah to their bedroom and let him pull her down onto his lap as he took a seat on the chaise lounge. “A’ight talk to me ma,” Jah urged, “I don’t know it’s just…it’s like I feel you never around anymore. Like you done forgot who you married to, you married to me Jah not these fuckin streets! As of late you acting like it’s the other way around like you married to these streets and I’m ya side bitch that can only get a tad bit of your spare time,” Keema fumed. Awe here we go, she clapping with every other word and shit, man I ain’t tryna argue. “Keem what you mean I don’t know who I’m married to? I do; I know you my wife.” “Oooh really so you know me now?” Keema said in a snarky way. Jah stared at her blankly he knew she was getting at him for the flip shit he said earlier and he wasn’t going to fall into the trap of getting cussed out tonight. Keema was a master with words; she was queen of cussing a nigga out. She usually won all arguments they had and Jah was convinced she could probably bring the hardest nigga in the world to tears with that razor sharp tongue of hers. “I ain’t tryna argue with you, why you gettin all mad we talkin here this ain’t no argument.” “I’m not mad and I’m not arguing Jah,” Keema said defensively. “So why you gettin all turnt up clappin and shit?” Keema folded her arms across her chest and exhaled hard, Jah was right she was getting a little hot under the collar. “Jah I’m feeling a little overwhelmed and you don’t seem to understand that. I feel like I’m here dealing with all the major things in life while you out here doing you.” Jah furrowed his brows, Is she serious? Me out here gettin paper to support her and my kids is considered doin me? “Jah when you out here tryna provide for your family that’s one thing but being in the studio pulling all nighters is something totally different. Last week Jah Jah had to go for her shots and right after she started running a fever. So here I was dealin with her being fussy on top of dealing with Lil Jah who was aggravated because his back teeth are coming in. And you know what? I had to deal with that on my own because you wasn’t here. Not to mention I had contractors calling damn near every five minutes about zoning permits for the house.” “Keem you making it sound like I’m on some dead beat shit. I was out of town on business at the time and as soon as I got back I addressed the issue with the contactors, I let em know not to bother you with issues regarding the house. I’m out here gettin paper to provide for you and the kids Keem. I’m tryna build generational wealth to pass down to our kids someday. I’m doing this shit so that they’ll never have to. You want more time but Keema c’mon let’s be real, you can have a nigga with a whole lotta time on his hand but nine times outta ten he gon be a broke nigga. That’s why he got all the time in the world to be up under you. I know what you dealing wit ma trust me I do but Keem this is life. Its chicks out here dealin with everything you are on top of stressin about how the bills gon get paid.” “No! Jah don’t twist this and make it about money, and don’t compare me to another bitch, this is about you and me. I have the right to tell you that you need to be here for me and these kids more than you are. Fuck money! If money is an issue for us I’ll gladly whip my scrubs out the closet and take my black ass back to work for me and mine.” “Keema no you won’t; we agreed that you wouldn’t go back to work until the kids were a little older. Why you wanna go back to work so bad for? So you can have more money to let ya peoples swindle you out of. Hell nah!” “You see Jah here we go again, you wanna throw shade but when I go off you act like I’m the bad guy. You mad cause I look out for my grandmother. What do you expect me to do she raised me.” “No that’s not it, my problem is you got ya peoples out here disrespecting me.” Keema looked stunned for a second. “Disrespecting you? What are you talking about? How I let somebody disrespect you?”
“Didn’t you say your grandmother said some slick shit about me?” Keema sucked her teeth “Jah stop, you know I said that to get under ya skin. When we argue it’s no hold bars but you know can’t nobody tell me nothing about you especially not my grandmother. She couldn’t tell me nothing way back then when she told me to leave yo ass alone and she damn sure can’t tell me nothing now. Yeah my grandmother tries to talk slick from time to time but I kill that at the door.” Jah stared at his wife for a long few seconds. “True that ain’t what I’m talkin about. What I mean by disrespecting me is letting ya peoples take food outta my kid’s mouth, that’s disrespect me. Keem let me put you onto something. I’m responsible for you and them two downstairs, I’m responsible to provide by any means necessary to make sure y’all eat even before I do. But suddenly three mouths have turned into damn near twenty-three. I’m not responsible to take care of ya whole fuckin family tree. If I get hemmed up out here for doing what I do I’ll take my time and feel it was worth it to provide for my family. Here you got me out here workin double time to compensate for mine and all these muthafuckas who wouldn’t spare you or my kids two pennies if something ever happened to me. So yeah you letting niggaz disrespect me Keem and I don’t like it.” Jah stated firmly. Keema stared at him for a long few uncomfortable minutes. Jah had never expressed himself in this manner as a matter of fact he wasn’t much of a talker at all. She never knew why it truly bothered him that she gave her family money now she knew and was planning on doing something about it. Yes she loved her grandmother but she was always going to put her family first. “Jah I didn’t know you felt that way and yeah I understand now…baby really I do. You gotta trust that I’ll do what’s best for us as a family and I’ma always put you and these kids first, team us right?” Jah smirked before nodding his head. “Yeah team us Meema.” Jah leaned in delivering a sensual kiss on Keema’s lips sealing his apology. Keema pulled away from his kiss and looked him in the eyes. “Jah I’m serious I know we just bought that big house and if monies tight then I ca… “Jah placed his finger on Keema’s lips to silence her “Ma when it comes to money we straight like a mufuckin perm I promise.” Keema chuckled at Jah’s response. “A’ight cause you know my wrist game still on point boi. I can still whip it; I been keeping my trap skills fresh by throwing that Similac in bottles with water and letting it lock. You can put me down wit the team.” Jah burst out laughing his wife was crazy and funny at the same time but that’s one of the reasons he loved her so much. “Keem no more trappin for you ma that’s a thing of the past, I need you to be my black queen not my trap queen. I hear what you sayin, I’ll make an effort to be here for you and the kids more I promise,” He said before cupping Keema’s face into his hands and kissing her deeply. The kiss began to get serious as he heard Keema utter a little moan that had him on ten immediately. The caress of Jah’s hands running up her thick thighs sent shivers up her spine. Jah went to pull Keema’s shirt up and suddenly she broke free of their kiss and gripped the bottom of her shirt with a vice grip. Jah pulled back and looked up at her for an explanation. “Baby its chilly in here.” Jah didn’t think it was cold but then again he didn’t give it a second thought because all the blood in his body seemed to have rushed to his third leg. He pushed Keema gently on her back and proceeded to pull down her sweats and panties leaving her with her shirt on. That night they made love and all that was wrong in their world was suddenly made right.
