by Bella Emy
I chuckle. “You didn’t let me finish.”
She laughs along with me. “Sorry, I got excited.”
I shake my head. “I see that…”
“I’m sorry, continue,” she motions with her right hand.
I roll my eyes playfully. “I was saying, there was someone I ended up messing around with, but—”
“But…” she chimes in.
“But it wasn’t anything serious.”
She nods. “Ah, a loyal booty caller.”
I laugh. “What?”
“Yeah, she was your go-to when you needed some.”
I shake my head again. At this rate, I’m going to end up losing it before I get to leave here.
“Wow…” she finally says after a few moments.
“What?” I ask.
“I still can’t believe you didn’t have a girlfriend—not a booty call—the whole time you were there. I would have figured some beautiful girl probably scooped you up at some point.”
I shrug. “Nope. No girlfriend. I wasn’t interested in anything serious.”
She laughs. “No, you just wanted to get laid.”
There she is. Adelyn, Miss Brazen. “Yup, I just wanted to get laid.”
Would she ever understand that the only woman I was ever interested in was her?
No, of course not. How could she when I didn’t even know it at the time?
I let out a deep breath and check the time on my watch. “Holy crap.”
“What is it?” she asks.
“It’s a quarter to two… we’ve been sitting here talking for at least two hours.”
She looks at her cell phone that’s sitting to her left. “Damn, time flies when you’re having fun.”
Sure does…
I follow her gaze as she takes me in with a wistful stare. “I should get going…” I say in barely above a whisper.
She nods slowly. “I’ll walk you to the door.”
I push myself up off of the ground first and then turn around to help her up. As she places her hand in mine, I feel those same electrical bolts running through my body all over again. Then, in an instant, they’re gone.
As I pull her up, she comes flying at me and we both come very close to one another. She’s so close in fact that I can smell her strawberry-champagne kissed shampoo. It’s the shampoo scent she’s been using for as long as I’ve known her; I have always loved the way her hair smells.
She breaks into a smile, and I follow her lead. “Come on, Maddox. Let’s get you on your way.”
I follow her to the door, and as she opens it and I step outside of it, I turn around to gaze at her one more time.
“Thanks again for helping Rick and I move.” She smiles and crosses one leg in front of the other, holding her balance. Her weight is pressed against the doorjamb.
“Anytime.” I swallow thickly. “I’ll see you around, Ad.”
She smiles once more, and it makes my heart soar. Dammit, this cannot be happening. How am I going to do this if shit like this keeps happening whenever she’s around?
“Good-bye, Mad. Don’t stay away so long this time.” She closes the door, and I’m left standing outside of their building as a pouring rain begins to descend.
Chapter Fourteen
“How are things, Maddox?” Mom takes a bite of her egg salad sandwich and then gazes at me across the table.
We’re having our weekly lunch ritual. This is the only real time I get to see her.
I shrug, and after swallowing a mouthful of Coke, I respond. “I’ve been okay. I just helped Rick and Adelyn move in last weekend.”
Her eyes widen. “Oh, that’s nice,” she answers, but I feel like she wants to say more.
I furrow my brows and then chuckle. “That’s nice? Come on, what’s really going on through that little mind of yours?”
She smirks. “First of all, I can guarantee you my mind is not little at all. I happen to be a very smart woman.”
She’s not kidding. Mom has her Master’s Degree.
“Mom, I never said you weren’t. I know you’re an incredibly smart woman, and I would never dream of taking that away from you.”
She giggles. “I know, sweetie. I was just teasing.” She takes a sip from her bottled water. “I just think… oh, never mind what I think.”
“Nah, come on, tell me,” I edge her on.
She looks away. “Isn’t Adelyn the girl you had a thing for?” Her eyes come back to mine. I don’t even know how she knows this. I know for a fact I never talked to my mother about Adelyn.
I swallow thickly. I don’t really want to get into this right now. Since the day of the move, all I’ve had on my mind is Adelyn and the talk we had. Well, that, of course, and my parents… the store on the verge of shutting down, and my father. How can he have lung cancer? I still don’t get it.
“Mom, that was a very long time ago,” I answer.
“But Rick was your best friend. It’s funny how he went ahead and just swept her off her feet while you were gone.” She takes a bite of her sandwich as if she didn’t just drop the 800 pound elephant on me.
I take in a deep breath. “They were both my best friends. I was away. They took comfort in one another while I was gone.”
“Yeah, comfort… that’s one way of putting it.”
I can’t help but to let out a laugh. My mother, the ever so blunt one. I really don’t want to discuss sex and relationships with her over lunch. Or ever.
“Come on, Mom. It’s not that big of a deal. They’re happy. And in love.”
It’s not that big of a deal? Yeah, right. Not even I buy that one. It is a big deal, and it completely sucks. But it’s life, and I don’t want to discuss this with her. I don’t really want to let her know it bothers me or that I’m not happy with the way things are going.
She nods. “Fine. I get it. You don’t want to talk about it.”
“I didn’t say that…”
“You didn’t have to. But I’m your mother, Maddox, and even though you were gone for a few years, I know you. The real you. Maybe no one else can see through your facade, but I do. But it’s fine. One day, things will come to light and you’ll thank me. Or at least realize what I’m saying.”
I need to say something to get this conversation steered to safer grounds. “Mom, I—”
“Your father needs an operation,” she blurts out, changing direction for the both of us.
My thoughts wander to my father once again. I still haven’t gone to see him, and I don’t plan on doing so. But now he needs an operation? Maybe it’s routine.
“What?” I ask, buying me time. Because honestly, I don’t really know what to say. I get that he’s really sick and all, but I’m sure he still won’t want to see me. He’ll probably still bring up his hatred toward me, and I just don’t have the energy to deal with all of it right now.
Her eyes well up with tears. Of course they do. Fuck.
She sniffles and then says, “He needs an operation. We need to give them an answer if we want to do it or not. There’s a fifty-fifty chance… it can either go really well. Or…”
“Or?” I ask, pushing her.
“Or he could—” Mom starts sobbing.
Dammit. I wasn’t trying to make her cry. I hate upsetting her. I rise from my seat and walk over to where she’s sitting. I kneel to be at her level and wrap my arms around her. “Mom, hey, please don’t cry. It’s going to be okay.”
But is it? Who am I to promise her that?
Her arms instinctively wrap around my waist, and she continues to bawl uncontrollably. “Oh, Maddox,” she cries.
I rub her back. “Shhh, don’t cry, Mom.”
After a few minutes of uncontrollable bawling, she sucks in a breath and pulls back. “I’m fine. I’m fine… go back to your seat, sweetie.”
I assess her, and she appears to be better now. My mother is typically a strong woman, but I know something like this would be difficult for anyone to go through. She’s been with my fat
her for most of her life.
I stand up, and once I feel confident enough that she won’t break down again, I head back to my seat across the table.
She pulls out a pocket mirror from her purse and wipes her tears with a handkerchief. “It’s all right now,” she says, more so to herself than me.
I watch her from across the table, and when her eyes finally meet with mine, she puts on a smile. If it’s real or not, I can’t tell, but either way, she’s smiling. Whether she’s just pretending to be okay, or she really is trying is another story. And she obviously doesn’t want to get into that right now. Because if she were to, and she’s not okay, she’d just break down all over again.
I reach out across the table and grab her hand. “Mom, I’m here for you. I—”
“Maddox, I don’t need you to be here for me. I’m fine. I’m all right,” she says, cutting me off. “But I need you to be here for your father.”
I don’t know if I can do that. “Mom—”
“Maddox, your father needs an operation that can either let him live for a few more years, or he could die! He could die!” She rises from the table. “He can die from it, but we need to give them an answer. Of course, I’m going to let them do it because without it, there’s no maybe. He will die for sure.”
Damn. This is beyond crazy. I can’t believe what she’s telling me.
She pushes her chair in and then adds, “You can either be here for your family, or you can go back to New Jersey and be on your own. But he needs you, and if you don’t show up, well then I’ll know exactly where you stand. Good-bye.” She walks away from the table before I even have a chance to respond.
“Think there’s anything going on there?” Rick asks me from the passenger’s seat. It’s early, but we’ve been out patrolling for at least an hour or so already.
I shrug and continue observing. There’s not much we can see from the car, but since the curtains of the house are drawn, it gives us a decent enough view of the inside.
“I’m not really sure. We just have to wait it out until we get the call from Brooks.” I pick up my cell phone and check some notifications.
“Hey, so Addy was telling me about your dad… I’m so sorry, man.”
I place the phone back in the console and face Rick. “Thanks.” Really, there is nothing else I can add because I don’t know what to say. My father and I are not on good terms.
He studies my face, and when he realizes I have nothing else to add, he asks, “So how come you never told me he was sick?”
I shrug again. “I don’t know… things are still weird between us. The other night with Adelyn, it just kind of came out because she asked me about them.”
Rick considers my words for a few moments. “Listen, man. I know we’ve been a bit distant with one another. We’re both busy. Me with everything going on with the wedding and the move, and you with work and your parents’ store… now this.”
I nod, but let him continue.
“I just want you to know that I’m always here for you if you ever wanna talk. Even if life keeps us busy most of the time and it seems as though I’m not around. All you have to do is pick up the phone and call me… and I’ll be there 110 percent of the time.”
I smile. “Thanks, man. I know. Same goes for you.”
He smiles back and chuckles. “Good. Just making sure you know. You’ll always be my boy.”
“Likewise.”
The static from the radio breaks the silence, but it’s not for either of us. We’re nowhere near Independence Way, nor can we leave from here until Brooks comes through with new orders. If we weren’t on an assignment, we could leave. But now, we just have to wait.
“He needs an operation,” I finally manage to say, but I don’t even know how because it just came out. I wasn’t planning on getting into this with Rick right now, but something inside of me just made it come out.
“Your dad?” Rick asks.
I nod. “Yeah. I met up with my mom for lunch yesterday and she told me. Either he gets it and lives or he gets it and dies. Easy decision.” I chuckle softly, but my laughter is void of humor. This is not funny in the slightest.
Rick’s mouth forms an O and moments later, he says, “Oh, no, Maddox. I’m so sorry. When?”
When? I hadn’t even thought to ask my mother about it. Now he’s asking me when and I don’t even know.
“I’m not sure…” I admit, and I’m humiliated.
He furrows his brows. “What? How can you possibly not know? You didn’t ask.”
I keep my head held down and shake it back and forth.
“Aw, Mad. Is this because of the fight you had with him?”
Fight? I wouldn’t necessarily call it a fight. It’s more like a long-running feud that’s been going on for years. Ever since I’ve gotten sent away, he’s really not wanted anything to do with me.
I look up and see movement in the house. But it’s nothing crazy. Just Sinclair moving from one area in his house to the next. Fucking boring. I wish we had the means to arrest him already. It’s obvious he’s guilty, but because there’s not enough evidence yet to put him away, we can’t make a move.
But what if he’s innocent? It could be possible, but I just don’t see it. I’ve seen this scenario before and in almost one hundred percent of the cases, the suspect is guilty.
“Mad?”
“Huh?” I turn my head back to face him.
“Is this regarding the fight you had with him?” he repeats.
Oh yeah, he was waiting for an answer. “I don’t know… it’s been going on for so long. When I showed up at the store months ago, he didn’t want to see me, nor did he have any intention of putting the past behind us.”
Rick nods. “I get that, bro. I do. But he’s your father and now he’s sick, and from the sounds of it, it’s pretty serious. He must be in the later stages of it if they want to operate and it could potentially kill him.”
“Yeah, I know. It’s bad. My mother broke down in front of me.”
He shakes his head. “I can only imagine how hard this must be on her.”
I nod. “Yeah, it is. But I think it’s bothering her I don’t want to go see him… not even when he has the surgery.”
“What?” he asks. “You’re not going?”
I shrug. “He doesn’t want to see me. He doesn’t want me anywhere near him; he made that very clear the last time I saw him.”
Rick sits there for a while without saying much. Then, he says, “You don’t want the last time you saw him to be the last time you see him. Mad, dude, you’ve got to go. If you don’t go and things go south, you’re going to regret that decision for the rest of your life. You’ve got to be there for him, for yourself, and of course for the rest of your family.”
Before I have a chance to tell him I will think about it, even though I’m about ninety-nine percent set on not going, Brooks’ voice comes through the car radio calling us back into the precinct.
Chapter Fifteen
I leave from my shift and decide to go pay my brother, Mason, a visit. I haven’t seen the fucker in a bit and I need to go talk to him about the whole situation with Pops.
If there’s anyone who understands me, it’s Mason. I ring the bell to his place and find it odd that the door’s not open with just the screen door closed. It was such a nice day out. Usually when that’s the case, he’d always leave the door open.
After ringing the bell two times, Mason comes to the door. “Hey, Mad! You caught us just in time, we just got back from the hospital a few minutes ago.”
Us? We? What’s all this plural business? I look past his shoulder and find my other brother waving at me like a moron.
“Mav…” Then looking at Mason once more, I ask, “What’s he doing here?”
Mason chuckles and opens the door wider. “Come on in, doofus.” He steps to the side and I walk in.
“Hey, Maverick,” I say, entering his home and walking over to one of the seats on the couch.
&n
bsp; “What’s up, big bro?” Mav says then plops down on the loveseat opposite from where I’m sitting.
I shrug. “Just got off my shift… decided to see what was going on with Mase.”
“Since I’m standing, otherwise I’d tell you to fetch one yourself, do you want anything to drink? If you got off work, you probably do need a drink.” He chuckles. He knows how hard my job is. Dealing with it every day is no joke. Most days are a struggle.
I shake my head. “Nah, I’m good. I’m not planning on staying long either. I just wanted to know how things were with you… guys.” I add that little word in at the end so I don’t look like an asshole for checking in on one brother and not the other.
“We just visited Pops at the hospital… he’s not looking so good,” Maverick states matter-of-factly.
I dart my gaze back over to Mason for confirmation, as if whatever Maverick says isn’t trustworthy enough.
Mason just nods his head and then says, “He’s not, Maddox. His operation’s scheduled for tomorrow.”
“I see.”
Mason takes a seat to my right. “You really ought to see him before he goes into surgery tomorrow.”
I shrug. “Yeah, I don’t think that’s such a good—”
“Maddox, you can’t be serious,” Mason states.
I nod. “Of course I am.”
Maverick intervenes. “It’s important for you to see Pops… what if something goes wrong and he—”
“And he dies?!” I chime in, exploding up off of my seat. “What is it with everyone?”
Mason rises from his seat next. “Hey, Mad… what is up with you?”
Now Maverick does the same. “You need to be there for Pops.”
I flip around cursing the world, then I meet their judgmental eyes. “God, I don’t get it! I don’t know why… Why does everyone tell me I need to be there for that asshole?” The offending obscenity comes out before I have a chance to control my mouth. I didn’t mean to call my father an asshole, but I sure as hell don’t appreciate how he makes me feel like I’m still in the wrong. I paid my debt. I served my sentence.
“Maddox…” Maverick says, I’m guessing in shock.
