“See mom!” Miriam says. “How can that possibly be bad?”
Miriam’s mom looks between the two of us. “You can go if Vee goes with you.”
“Vee!” Miriam says, clear brown puppy-dog eyes blinking up at me.
I have no plans tonight other than reliving my embarrassment earlier today, so why not?
“Sure,” I say with a shrug.
Miriam tackle hugs me. “Yes! You are the best cousin ever. I owe you one. You name it, I’ll do it.”
I don’t know why she’s thanking me when I’m just doing something fun with her, but whatever.
“Anytime.”
When we get back to the posh hotel, there’s still no hint of Yangbin. I decide to take it as sign that I’m supposed to enjoy my vacation and forget our interactions.
This place is super swanky. There’s no way my parents would’ve let us stay here. When we travel, normally it’s spending a night at a Motel 6 and seeing a few sights before going home. Nothing fancy. I haven’t been more than a day’s drive from my home.
Even though it’s only an hour from Little Falls, NJ, it feels like a new world. We’re staying right on ski resort property, with all the amenities. I can sense money walking around on people’s clothing, not to mention the fancy skis and snowboards everyone seems to have.
Tomorrow, my family will be renting gear and spending one day on the slopes. I accidently saw the cost, and it’s as much money as I make in a month. Granted, I don’t make much money, but still.
“What are we going to wear?” Miriam says. She’s been talking about the concert non-stop since we left the restaurant. I’ve only nodded along, not really caring.
“I wonder if I brought my sparkly heels. Maybe I can pair my blue sweater with the silver skirt. Would that be weird? Tights, or leggings, or nothing? If I wear my hair down it might be cute, but I also have that head scarf that makes me look regal. Never mind. That’s not concert attire. Tight curls, or wavy, or....”
After a few minutes I’ve tuned her out. I’m sure whatever she does, she’ll look amazing. I might actually wear makeup, but I’m not going nuts for some band I’ve never heard before.
“Vee. Vee. Earth to Vee?”
Miriam is waving a hand in front of my face. I startle from my thoughts and give her my full attention. “Yeah?”
“I was asking if you have a nice dress to wear. I’m not dolling myself up alone.”
Dress? I don’t wear skirts if I can help it. Heck, I only own one pair of dress pants, and that’s because my parents made me wear them to their friend’s wedding last year. Blergh.
“Um. No. I’m not doing that.”
“Yes, you are.” Miriam says.
She might be like five feet two inches, but she’s strong. “You’re coming with me,” she says, taking my wrist and dragging me across the lobby.
I didn’t notice the clothing shop on our way in, but now I’m in the midst of it, and Miriam is throwing me dresses. There must be an exit. Maybe there’s a secret passageway through the employees only space.
“Try these on,” she commands, not giving me a chance to protest.
I’m in the dressing room with the door locked before I realize what I’m agreeing to.
“Miriam, I’m not trying these on!”
“Yes you are,” she shouts back.
I pick up the garment on top. It’s a light blue sleeveless dress with rhinestones glittering down the front. That’s a big NO.
“Miriam, this is not my style. You can’t make me!”
I try to push open the door, but she’s standing on the other side, keeping me in.
“You promised you would go this concert with me, and we’re going.”
I bang on the door again. “I never said I would dress up!”
Miriam grunts, still keeping me locked in. “I owe you one, remember? That means you have to do whatever I ask tonight. Just one dress. Pick out your favorite and try it on.”
If she’s only going to make me try on one thing, I can handle it. Then she’ll see how ridiculous I look and let me go. Problem solved.
I weed through her selections, throwing out anything that’s too loud or too revealing. I come to a simple black dress with capped sleeves and a red sequined band around the middle. It’s the most bearable option, so I slip it on.
It’s tight, but not in a bad way. I kinda feel a little cute in it. That’s new.
“How’s it going in there?” Miriam calls. “You have to let me see, you know.”
I tug at the skirt which hits right above my knees. Short for my taste, but not showing my butt. “Give me a second,” I shout back.
Do I really want anyone to see me like this? If I can’t show Miriam, I certainly can’t go to a concert. I judge myself one last time before throwing the changing room door open. My eyes shut in natural defense. I don’t want to see Miriam throw up when she sees me.
“Oh, Vee,” she says, and her tone isn’t bad. Kind of reverent.
“It’s terrible, isn’t it? I’ll go change.”
Miriam has excellent taste, so if she hates it, it has to go.
“Stop!” she calls when I start to turn.
“What is it?” I say, peeking one eye open.
Her jaw is dropped, eyes wide. “Where have you been hiding this figure?”
Both of my eyes pop open. “What?”
“Girl, you look fiiinnnee! That bellhop would die on the spot if he saw you in this.”
I face the mirrors in the hall. “Really?”
Now that I look, it’s not so bad. I could wear it, once.
“Yes!” she shouts. “Now get changed so we can buy it immediately. We have more work to do so we can go out.”
I decide there’s no fighting it, and also that it wouldn’t hurt to own one dress.
Miriam picks out matching shoes, red sparkling wedges that are low for heels. I wasn’t going to wear anything terribly uncomfortable.
We go up to the room and Miriam spends a whole hour straightening my hair until it looks like something out of a shampoo commercial. I have no idea how she did it, but it’s amazing. Luckily she lets me do my own makeup so she can get ready.
I keep everything really light, but decide to try on Miriam’s red lipstick when she hands it to me. It actually looks amazing, so I go with it.
“Now,” Miriam says. “One last piece of advice before we go.”
I nod my head like she’s about to say something sage to me.
She clears her throat and straightens her shoulders. “You must scream with me. I alone cannot convey my love for them, and I need your voice to add to the love they deserve.”
My hand goes over my nose in an attempt to cover my snort. “Are you serious?”
“Yes!” she says. Looking more serious than I’ve ever seen her. “Promise me.”
Her pinky is out and waiting for me to seal the deal. We hook fingers as I say, “Promise. But you owe me big.”
Miriam can’t contain her smile. “You have a deal.”
I don’t know why, but I’m too nervous to eat anything. Miriam must be to, because we both chose to skip dinner.
I’m probably just reflecting her own excitement. And besides, afterwards we can get room service and really enjoy it.
Since I’ve never been to a concert before, I don’t know what to expect, but I at least hoped for seats. Instead, we’re standing near the stage in a mass of people. More of them keep coming in and squishing up closer. I hope it’s not like this the whole night.
The lights lower and the chatter around us settles.
“Are you ready to rock?” a voice booms over the crowd.
Miriam starts screaming, so I join her. It’s actually fun.
“I said, are you ready to rock?”
More screaming happens, and this time it’s so deafening I think my eardrums might blow.
“Here’s MIXX!”
I’m screaming so hard I almost don’t notice as first. The bass guitarist looks familia
r, but I try to not pay attention. Every guy I know wears beanies like that these days. The electric guitarist is cute, and I swear I’ve seen him before. When the lead singer takes the mic, I get a squirmy feeling in my middle, but I still can’t place it.
It’s not until the drummer takes his seat behind his kit that my heart drops to my ankles.
The band I’m about to watch is Yangbin’s.
Collisions
The energy is amazing. These boys were good at their Christmas concert, but playing their own music is a whole new level. After two songs, I no longer feel awkward screaming. I’m one-hundred-percent their fan.
Their music is a blend between pop, rock, and hip-hop with a creepy undertone. Somehow it all works, and it’s perfect. I only wish I knew the language so I could sing along. Miriam doesn’t have that problem, and she belts at the top of her lungs.
My eyes never leave Yangbin. I keep trying to focus on the other band members, but it always comes back to him. I’m trying not to relive my harsh words this morning, but I can’t help it. I messed up, and now all I want to do is make it right. I really hate myself for hesitating.
After a few songs, the boys stop playing to introduce themselves. The lead singer is named Theo. Hakyeong is on guitar with Pavi on bass. The electric guitar is played by Ben, with Hyung at the piano.
Yangbin is introduced last, and he comes to the front of the stage. Hakyeong announces a sort break for the band while Yangbin sings a solo.
The crowd hushes, and my heart beats so loud I’m sure everyone can hear it. Yangbin takes a seat and picks up the guitar. Is there an instrument he can’t play?
“A few days ago,” he says, strumming the guitar once, then adjusting the pitch on one of the strings. “I met someone new.”
Seconds ago I swear there was a draft, but now it’s so hot, sweat beads on my brow. There’s no way he’s talking about me. It would be too weird.
“And you might not believe it,” he continues, “But I’m usually shy.”
The crowd laughs and his dimples pop out as he smiles.
He strums again, still adjusting the strings. “No really. When I’m on stage it’s easy to talk, but when I’m face to face with someone I get choked up.”
That can’t be true, because he was the one who spoke to me first. If anything, I’m shy.
He tries out a couple chords, then looks out over the audience as if deep in thought. “But when I met this person, I wanted to speak. They didn’t have to say anything for me to know there was something special about them.”
Definitely not me then. There’s nothing interesting about me whatsoever.
He adjusts in his seat and hangs his head. “My shyness didn’t give me a chance to say what I really wanted to. I even saw this person again today and missed my chance. I probably said everything wrong, too.”
A collective awe goes out from the group. I’ve lost all feeling in my hands. This can’t be happening.
“If had the chance to fix it with this song,” he says with his eyes closed. “I would. To the girl who’s not like the others.” He says pointing out over the crowd.
Everyone screams, but I can’t process what’s happening. There has to be someone else. But...and it’s a huge leap. Those are all the same things I felt about him.
“This song is called Circles. Originally by Birds of Tokyo.”
His eyes close as he picks the intro. It’s a haunting set that makes me feel like I’m moving, even though I’m standing in place.
The crowd starts to sway as his voice rings out, the lyrics slower than the guitar. Emotion pours through each syllable. Heart break. Loneliness. Wanting to give up. I’ve been there, and I know the pain.
“Walk on. Following a fate line. See if I can define, where I came undone.”
I want to twirl as the melody plays on. Spin in the same way the song describes.
His voice gets louder near the end, repeating the same phrase again and again, and I can see the veins in his neck as he puts everything he has into it. Then the guitar begins to slow and he whispers the phrase one last time before ending with a final strum.
It’s not until the wetness hits my cheeks that I realize I’m crying.
Yangbin stands as the applause threatens to shake the room.
Now he’s walking away. He’s not going towards the drums, but towards the backstage. The rest of the band is entering, no doubt about to play without him.
If he leaves, will he come back? The rational side of me says yes, they haven’t finished playing yet. But the crazy side of me is louder. That side tells me the song was for me. It also says if I don’t run to him now, I’ll never get to.
I already made the mistake of letting him go once.
“Yangbin!” I yell, shoving through the crowd. There’s no way he can hear me over the noise, but I continue to scream, elbowing my way to the side stairs, and clambering onto the stage.
“Yangbin!” I shout again. He turns at the same moment hands latch onto my shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I was a jerk.”
I only have time to see his eyes widen before the security guards drag me off stage.
Security offices smell. It’s kind of like walking into a hospital. All you have to do is take one whiff to know everyone is sick. Here it smells like trouble. Or maybe just moldy hamburgers.
I don’t know what I was thinking. That Yangbin would rush in and save me or something? Either way, it was a stupid choice. That doesn’t mean I’m taking back my decision to find Yangbin and apologize, I’ll just have to do it with more grace next time.
“Bwahahahaha!”
I lift my head to see Miriam doubled over with laughter.
“You...haha...that was...ha!”
I shake my head as I stand. “I know, very funny.”
Miriam can hardly breathe, tears squeezing out the sides of her eyes. “You just...and then...what were you...hahaha.”
I fold my arms and blow out my checks. “What a great joke.”
One of the security guards stands between us, looking at Miriam. “Are you here to claim her?”
“Yes,” Miriam says, sobering for a second. Then she loses it again. “Claim her! That’s hilarious.”
A smile breaks out on my lips. It was pretty funny, thinking about it. If I wasn’t still mortified I might see the comedic value.
“Sign here,” the guy says. “If she approaches the band again we’ll take to her to the police.”
Miriam salutes the guy, holding in her giggles.
“Thanks,” I say to the guards as we walk out. Not sure why I’m thanking them. Habit I guess.
I take off my shoes once we make it to the hall. I’m done wearing them. Even though they were low to the ground, they still pinched. Since this is the back part of the hotel, both the walls and floor are cement. At least it’s swept.
“Why on earth did you do that?” Miriam says as we start toward the lobby.
My shoulders slump as I sigh. “The bellhop and the drummer are the same person. Yangbin.”
Miriam shakes her head, blinking. “What? I was that close to Yangbin and I didn’t recognize him?” She gasps, covering her mouth. “It must be because he’s always hiding behind those huge drums.”
I shrug. “I guess. Anyway, his story sounded like he was talking about me...” Miriam’s jaw is hanging open and I can only guess what she’s thinking. “I know, it’s stupid.”
Miriam stops me before we can open the door to stairwell. “No, it doesn’t sound stupid. Was that really you?”
I press my lips together, focusing on my feet. “Maybe. He wasn’t specific enough.”
Miriam turns her head both ways like she’s trying to figure out which direction to run. “We have to find him, right now.”
“Maybe tomorrow,” I say, still hanging my head. “I’d rather not be arrested.”
“Don’t you see?” Miriam says, taking my shoulders and shaking me. “This is like... fate.”
“Hard
ly,” I say, squirming away and opening the stairwell door. “I do plan on apologizing to him. But maybe I’ll send a note through the front desk or something. They should know who he is since he works here.”
“Fine,” Miriam says. “You go ahead, but I’m going to find him.”
Does she have to do this now? I’m tired, and we’re skiing tomorrow. I want to erase the whole ordeal from my memory.
“Come on, Miriam. Quit it.”
She sticks her thumbs in her ears and wiggles her fingers, tongue sticking out. We might be teenagers now, but that face still makes me want to chase after her.
“Stop!” I say reaching out for her, but she jumps back before I can get a good hold.
She bends over and blows a raspberry at me. That’s it. All bets are off. “You better get over here, right now.”
I drop my shoes to show I mean business.
Her hips shake as she dances backward. “You can’t get me, don’t even try.”
With one push off the ground, I’m sprinting toward Miriam. She ducks and weaves every time I get close. Why does she have to be so small and agile?
She pivots just as my hands are going around her and I stumble forward. I’m about to fall face forward when I hit something—or rather, someone—hard.
“Ouch,” I shout, grabbing my forehead. Other people hurt.
My eyes are watering so I can’t see the guy clearly, but I do know he’s on the ground also clutching his face.
“Are you okay?” I say, squinting.
I glance at Miriam who has her mouth covered with her hands, eyes glued to the person I hit. I stop rubbing my head and close my eyes tight once to clear my vision.
Holy cupcakes. This was not supposed to happen. Once was bad enough, but this?
Yangbin is on the floor, and I’m pretty sure I broke his nose.
Happy Accidents
“You’re bleeding.” I say, crouching next to him.
He nods, trying to catch the flow with his hand. “That hurt, just a little,” he groans.
My forehead is throbbing, so I can only imagine.
Snowflake Kisses Page 3
