Lila smiled nervously as she thanked Rachel. How was she going to endure being alone with Samuel while they painted the dawdi haus? She would just have to spend more time in prayer asking Gott for strength to resist the temptation that Samuel posed.
Lila returned to the dining room and took her place across from Samuel. She could feel his eyes on her, and it made her too nervous to finish her meal. Pushing the potatoes and asparagus around on her plate, Lila decided to focus on the banter around the long table.
“We must finish the fitting of your dress,” Lizzie said to her dochder. “You have to take a little time off from the bakery to let me sew it, or it will not be finished in time for the wedding.”
Katie nudged her. “I’d be more than happy to take over for a day if you need me to. We can’t have the bride showing up to her own wedding in an old work dress.”
Rachel’s eyebrows furrowed. “That’s narrish, Katie. You are too close to term. I can’t have you giving birth to mei bruder’s boppli in the bakery.”
“If Onkel can do without me for the day,” Lila said cautiously. “I’d be more than happy to step in for you.”
“I thought you were going to spend the day painting the dawdi haus, Lila,” Bess interjected.
“I’d be more than happy to help you paint, Lila,” Samuel offered.
Rachel smirked at her bruder. “I already volunteered you for the job, Samuel.”
Lila’s cheeks heated up, and she could feel Samuel’s gaze upon her once more. She resisted the urge to make eye-contact with him, no matter how tempting it was to get lost in the sea of blue in his eyes that lured her in like a fish. It was best if she not give him any reason to hope they could be anything more than distant acquaintances. She was not the one for him. She was certain he deserved more than she could offer even if she was interested—which she was not. That’s the way it would remain as long as she had control over guarding her heart.
After the meal, all the women crowded into the kitchen to help with the cleanup, with the exception of Bess, who needed to nurse Adam and get him to sleep for a while. Lila could tell the boppli was draining the woman of her energy, but Bess remained smitten with her infant.
Katie sat at the small table in the kitchen, rolling her hand lovingly over her large belly as though her boppli were already born. Lizzie, Rachel, and Abby worked like machines to scrape plates, stack them, and put away all the messes Lila had made while she was cooking. Each worked, leaving Lila to put on a fresh pot of kaffi for the menner, who waited in the other room for shoofly pie. Lillian sat across from Katie at the table, bouncing one-year-old Ellie on her knee to keep her from fussing.
Lizzie handed her a wet dishcloth. “Let her chew on this. She needs something to bring those molars in. Poor thing must be in pain.”
Lila felt a little out of sorts being in such an enclosed setting with Samuel’s familye. They were her familye by marriage, but that didn’t make her feel any closer to them. She hoped that in time she would get used to being around them. Since all her friends back home were married, she hadn’t seen much of them and wasn’t used to being around this many women all at once. They seemed to be enjoyable, and if it was possible, she might even become friends with them—but not with Samuel—definitely not with Samuel.
Chapter 8
Before long, Lila began to relax as she fell in step with the women in the kitchen. They all seemed to work in sync with one another, and Lila soon found her place wiping the dishes dry and replacing them in the cupboards. She was still learning her way around Bess’s kitchen, and putting away dishes was a gut way to learn.
Rachel knocked elbows with Lila. “What do you think of mei bruder, Samuel?”
Lila nearly dropped the glass plate she was drying. What exactly was it that Rachel was asking her? “I don’t know him,” she answered simply.
Rachel smirked. “You don’t know any of us yet, but it seems like you were avoiding Samuel most of the night. He was trying hard to get your attention.”
Lila didn’t dare say a word as she took the next clean plate from Lizzie to dry. She didn’t want to discuss what she thought of Samuel in front of his mamm.
“Rachel, don’t embarrass the poor girl,” Lizzie said over her shoulder.
“We have been trying to get Samuel matched up with someone for a while, and he keeps turning them away,” Katie said from where she sat at the table with Lillian.
“It seems he wants to be a bachelor for the rest of his life,” Lillian added.
What did all of this have to do with her? Lila didn’t want to be part of this conversation. She didn’t want to paired up with Samuel, and if that’s what these women were up to, she didn’t want anything to do with them.
“There is nothing wrong with a mann wanting to be a bachelor,” Lila stated nervously.
Rachel took the next plate, leaving Lila with nothing to busy her nervous hands. “I think he wants to be married, but he just hasn’t found the right girl yet.”
“I noticed him watching you several times throughout the meal, Lila” Katie interjected.
Lillian smiled. “I noticed the same thing.”
“I think we all did,” Abby said.
Lila didn’t find anything too amusing about this conversation, but Samuel’s familye seemed to be having fun at her expense.
She stiffened her upper lip. “I hadn’t noticed him watching me, and if I had, I probably would have politely asked him to stop.”
Rachel giggled. “You could tell him to stop, but I doubt he would. He was swooning over you.”
The women in the room all laughed, and Lila pasted on a smile to keep from letting them know the subject of Samuel was not one she cared to talk about.
“If he was swooning, he was alone in it, because I have no interest in him.” Lila tried to keep an even tone to prevent them from seeing how disturbed she was by the conversation.
“Not even a little?” Katie asked. “He’s a handsome young mann.”
“And thoughtful, too,” Abby chimed in. “And I’m not just saying that because he’s mei bruder.”
“And he’s available,” Lillian added.
Lila’s lips narrowed to a grim line. “Well I’m not—available.”
The women looked at each other and turned serious. Had she ended the conversation, or had she merely insulted them and their efforts to help her?
“So you have a beau back in Nappanee?” Katie finally asked.
“Nee, I don’t have a beau,” Lila said quietly.
Lizzie turned around from the sink after washing the last dish. “Are you married, then?”
Lila was getting tired of all the personal questions. “Nee, I’m not married, and I don’t intend to ever marry.”
Abby placed a comforting hand on Lila’s shoulder. “You poor thing; you’ve had your heart broken.”
If having your mamm die just after giving birth to you, and growing up without a mamm while everyone around you has one, then, yes, her heart had been broken beyond repair. But she was certain they were talking about heartbreak from a beau.
“Nee, I’ve never even dated before,” Lila said, her face heating from the confession.
She didn’t want them to know her deepest secrets, but they were prying them out of her.
Lizzie suddenly shooed the other women from the room.
“Why do we have to leave?” Abby asked. “What did we do? We were just trying to get to know Lila a little better!”
Lizzie looked at Lila, who was shaking.
“I think you’ve asked enough questions for now. Give us a minute to talk. Git on out of here—all of you,” Lizzie said with an authoritative tone.
After they shuffled from the kitchen one-by-one, Lizzie invited Lila to sit at the table with her. She placed a hand on Lila’s from across the table.
“I understand from Jessup that you grew up without a mamm. I’m sure that’s been tough on you, since most girls see an older sibling dating, or they talk to their mamm about
such things. If you ever want to talk, you can talk to me or mei Aenti Bess, or any of these women. We are familye now, and we want you to feel like you can come to us if you need to.”
Lila appreciated Lizzie’s kindness, but she didn’t think the woman understood her situation.
“Mei mamm died a few minutes after giving birth to me, I don’t want to put a child through that. So I made a choice not to marry or have any kinner.”
Lizzie became serious. “I grew up without a mamm too. It wasn’t like your situation; she was with me until I was ten years old. But sometimes I think that was harder on me because I got the chance to become attached to her. That may sound like a harsh thing to say, but it’s sometimes easier to deal with a loss we never knew than to love someone that long and lose them. But you can’t let that situation rule your entire life. You’re young and full of life. I understand your fear, but that doesn’t mean you should be alone for the rest of your life. Nothing in this world is guaranteed, but that doesn’t mean we should close ourselves off to the possibilities Gott has in store for us.”
Lila felt the need to make Lizzie understand, hoping she would let the matter drop. “I’m afraid the same thing will happen to me, and I will leave a boppli without a mamm. I know mei mamm didn’t do it on purpose to me, but she still did it.” Lila knew that was a harsh thing to say, but it was how she felt.
Lizzie smiled warmly. “Don’t let your fear of the unknown cause you to miss Gott’s calling in your life—even if that calling involves marrying and having kinner.”
Chapter 9
Lila was eager to begin painting the dawdi haus, but it was Sunday and everyone was out visiting. She felt anxious with nothing to do, but she knew better than to take on such a laborious task on the day of rest. She’d prepared the meal ahead of time in anticipation for Jessup and Bess to return, but even that hadn’t occupied enough of her day. Onkel had invited her to go with them, but she didn’t want to chance running into Samuel. She’d had enough of his charm last night at dinner, and she wasn’t certain she could continue to reject him if she didn’t try to avoid him altogether. Lila had never felt such temptation from any other before Samuel, and she wasn’t sure what made him so different from the others.
Lila pulled her cloak around her shoulders to shelter her from the wind and walked out to the dock out back of the B&B. The sun peaked around from the clouds, but it wasn’t enough to warm her. A cold wind blew across the large pond, rippling the surface. Except for the wind, it was quiet, lacking the usual sounds that summer provided. It had turned too cold for the frogs and crickets. Even the fireflies and mosquitoes had long-since gone for the season. The trees clung to the last of their leaves of autumn-rich hues, a tell-tale sign that winter was on its way.
Lowering herself at the end of the dock, she folded her legs under her rather than dangling them over the edge. She wished it was warmer so she could dip her feet in the water, but the icy wind coming off the oversized pond was enough to discourage the temptation. Despite the cold that tried to chill her bones, it was a very peaceful, pleasant afternoon. She was grateful for the day away from everyone so she could finally take some time to think.
“I see you found my favorite thinking spot,” a now-familiar baritone voice interrupted her reverie.
Looking up into the sinking sun, she spotted Samuel making his way to end of the dock. Her heart tumbled behind her ribcage as she admired the way the sun lit up his strong features. His broad shoulders looked somehow wider with the sun behind him, and the chisel of his jaw peppered by a day’s growth of whiskers, gave him a more rugged look. Why couldn’t he just leave her alone? Why did he have to stir feelings in her that she was trying to push down?
Lila lifted slightly off the end of the dock and looked at the worn planks of wood beneath her. “I don’t see your name on this spot.”
She didn’t mean to react in such a snotty tone, but she wanted him to leave—or did she? The depth of his dimples as he smiled when he sat down beside her was enough to snatch the air from her lungs.
“I actually wrote it here when I was younger, but it has worn off since then,” he said smoothly. “But everyone knows this is my spot.”
He smiled again, bringing heat to her cheeks.
“It’s surprisingly cold today, but I suppose that is to be expected now that it’s the end of October. Are you warm enough?”
A gust of wind caused her teeth to chatter. “Jah,” she said through clenched teeth.
Before she realized, Samuel had shrugged off his wool coat and was placing it around her shoulders. His warm hands brought shivers to her as they brushed her neck. What was happening to her? His charming pull was interrupting her every thought; every reasonable argument she had for getting up and leaving immediately was thwarted by the lingering warmth of his touch.
Attempting to summon the strength to leave, she tried to wriggle from his coat, but she couldn’t help but breathe in the smell of straw and horses, along with the rugged smell of shaving soap that clung to the collar. How would she be able to resist this mann if she didn’t stop acting so foolishly? She was normally so strong-willed, but his kindness had broken through the barrier of her heart, and it seemed to take up residence there.
“Perhaps since I will be living here from now on, I should put my name at the end of the dock so there will be no more confusion,” Lila said lightly.
She was surprised she was even able to form a coherent sentence with the smell of this handsome mann filling her senses.
Samuel plucked a pen from his shirt pocket and wrote her name beside her before she even had a chance to stop him.
“I was kidding,” she said, trying not make to eye contact with him.
Then he wrote his name beside his leg, causing Lila to roll her eyes. Was he trying to impose on her space on purpose?
“Now it’s both of our spot,” he said as he replaced the pen in his pocket.
Lila met Samuel’s gaze, and it was enough to warn her she did not have the strength to resist him. The blue in his eyes reflected the glint of the sinking sun over the water, and it was almost hypnotizing. If she didn’t move quickly, she would be lost forever in their depths.
Chapter 10
Lila stood abruptly, easing Samuel’s warm, masculine-scented coat from her shoulders. She tossed the coat in his lap, and a wind gust stole his scent from her, sending it floating across the pond.
“Danki for your kindness, but I have a meal to prepare for Onkel’s return.”
She did not dare meet his gaze, nor did she give him time to stop her, for her feet padded across the dock as swiftly as they could in a lady-like manner.
When she reached the back door to the B&B, she stopped to catch her breath.
I have a plan for my life, and it does not include a husband or kinner. I will not give in to that mann’s temptation to change my mind.
Lila knew she could tell herself that all day long and it was not going to matter. Samuel had already breached the wall that surrounded her heart, and that frightened her.
****
Samuel lifted his coat to his face, breathing in the lingering scent of homemade banana bread and coconut oil she probably used to smooth her hair back. He knew his schweschders used it, but the scent of it never affected him like it did now, knowing it belonged to Lila. He was beside himself with worry over why she resisted his attempts to befriend her.
Lift the burden that rests on Lila’s shoulders, Gott, and shelter her under your wing.
Samuel’s gaze fell upon the ripples in the water that moved across the pond. Was it possible that he already loved Lila? If he did, he feared she would never love him in return. He thought he’d seen a flicker of hope in her startling green eyes, but it left as soon as he’d recognized it. What was she hiding from him that held such defenses against her heart? Had another mann broken her heart by ending an engagement to her? He couldn’t imagine any mann doing such a thing to her. He could only hope that there was an easier explanatio
n.
****
At the evening meal, Lila was not surprised to see Samuel at the table with Bess and Onkel Jessup. Samuel had agreed to help Onkel put up storm windows on the B&B to prepare for winter, and Lila had overheard her onkel invite him to partake in the meal with them. She didn’t want to sit with Samuel through another meal, but she was grateful that Bess and Jessup would be there to filter his interaction with her.
Lila stood at the stove pouring brown gravy into a serving bowl when she heard the back door open. Samuel’s masculine scent drifted to her nose with the gust of wind that entered the door with him. She immediately felt her stomach tighten anxiously. Samuel was early, and Onkel was busy helping Bess put Adam down so she could eat with them. She didn’t dare turn around when he greeted her; she knew that if she looked into his sparkling blue eyes she might not survive the temptation to get lost there.
Be strong. It’s only one meal. Resist him until Onkel and Bess finish, and there will be nothing to worry about.
Lila could hear Adam fussing from the other room, as his parents tried to soothe him. If they couldn’t get him to settle down, she feared she would be forced to entertain Samuel until they finished with the boppli. Lila continued to busy herself preparing the meal and completely ignored Samuel.
Before long, Adam’s fussing turned to wailing. Lila glanced at Samuel looking for a sign that the crying was normal. She’d never heard a boppli cry so hard, but she’d never spent too much time around any to fully compare.
Just when Lila didn’t think she could stand the screaming any longer, Onkel entered the kitchen, desperation showing in the lines of his face.
“Samuel, please call the doctor. I think something is wrong with mei buwe.”
“I saw his buggy at the Beiler farm on my way over here,” Samuel said. “I’ll fetch him at once.”
With that, Samuel was out the door, and Jessup disappeared. Lila heard the bedroom door open and close, muffling Adam’s screams once again. Lila returned the food to the stove, placing it back in the pots and pans to keep it warm. Filling the sink with sudsy water, Lila began to wash the dirtied dishes to keep her hands busy.
Under the Harvest Moon: Book Seven Page 3
