Hardest
by Jamieson Wolf
Breathless Press
Calgary, Alberta
www.breathlesspress.com
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or
persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Hardest
Copyright© 2011 Jamieson Wolf
ISBN: 978-1-926930-08-4
Cover Artist: Justyn Perry
Editor: Stephanie Parent
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced electronically or in print without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations
embodied in reviews.
Breathless Press
www.breathlesspress.com
For You
who move like shadow…
Chapter One
Owen carried an ache inside of himself.
He had felt it growing as of late, festering away inside him. He had tried to ignore it, tried to distract it with other things. He had tried anonymous sex, partying, exercising; he had tried anything and everything he could think of.
And still the ache did not go away.
Owen supposed it was his own fault, really. He had given away too much, had let too much of his heart go, to the first person who came along.
Really, the only person. The only one for him.
The only one he had ever loved.
Sebastian had been around for a while. He had liked Sebastian a lot. But in the end, he couldn’t give Sebastian any part of his heart; he had already given it away. They had parted on good terms, but Sebastian had said something to him that had stuck: “You’re always comparing me to him.”
Owen had looked at Sebastian with wide eyes. “What do you mean?”
“Do I have to spell it out for you?” Sebastian had grinned and come closer to him. He’d put a hand on Owen’s chest, overtop of where Owen’s heart beat a quick tattoo. “Your heart still beats for Daniel. No one else can compete with that. Find him. If you do, maybe you’ll have happiness in some way.”
The only trouble was that Owen couldn’t find him. He had tried. He had tried to see if his parents were still in contact with their old neighbors, had tried to track Daniel down through old high-school records. He’d even attempted to find him using one of those Classmates Web sites online.
And all for nothing. It was as if Daniel had vanished off the face of the earth.
Even the thought of him now gave Owen an ache that throbbed inside of him, a sharp resonance that reverberated through his bones and his blood. He wondered, idly, if Daniel could feel it. If somehow his pain, his need for Daniel, called to him.
Owen wondered if he would run into Daniel in the street, if he would get a phone call one quiet evening and hear Daniel’s voice on the other end of the phone. But nothing ever happened.
So he pushed the torment away the only way he knew how: with anonymous sex.
For just a few moments, while the stranger let his hands roam over Owen’s body, Owen could forget. For that one instant, he could forget about Daniel, about the love he felt for him, about the ache that filled him like blood. For the few seconds before sexual gratification, the few moments before he came, Owen could forget.
But afterwards, his heart would still beat harder for Daniel.
His heart beat its hardest, strongest tattoo when he thought of Daniel. It had always been this way. Owen wondered if it would continue to always be this way; he wondered if he would ever heal.
He doubted it.
God, I need a drink, he thought.
Chapter Two
Glory was busy tonight.
As bathhouses went, Glory was excellent. The floors were clean, and it was never too warm or cold inside. The showers were well lit, while the stock tables’ restraints were always polished and taken care of. The restraints and chains in the backroom were cleaned regularly; the chains gleamed in the half-light, and the leather restraints were soft and supple like butter.
Owen didn’t want any of this, though. Normally he came to Glory to forget, to indulge in the carnal pleasures of another man’s body. But tonight, all he could think of was Daniel.
He could think only of Daniel’s lips on his body, Daniel’s mouth on his cock. He groaned in frustration and showed his membership card at the door. He paid for a room; normally he would pay only for a locker and just enjoy what the bathhouse had to offer. But today, Owen wanted to surround himself with the sights and sounds of other men enjoying themselves.
Today, he would deny himself.
The attendant smiled and handed him a towel and a room key. He wouldn’t need the towel until after he showered. He thanked the attendant and walked down the small maze of hallways until he found the right door. Number sixty-nine. He smiled.
Letting himself in, he closed the door and took a deep breath. The room was done up nicely. Hardwood floors under his feet gleamed with a high polish. The back wall and the ceiling were mirrored, and there was a bed big enough for two in the corner. Crisp white sheets were visible beneath a thick rust-colored blanket. A robe hung off the back of the door, its terrycloth thick and inviting.
He took off his clothes and put them in the small dresser that sat to the right of the bed. When he turned on a switch, soft music played through speakers hidden in the wall. Putting on the robe, he sat on the bed and let his head rest against the mirrored wall.
Sadness had rooted itself deep within Owen, and he wondered if anyone would ever be able to reach deep enough to cleanse him of it. He didn’t think so.
Normally, if Owen had a room, he would leave the door open while he played with his dick. If the door was open, it was an invitation for a stranger to come in. The person in the room had right of refusal. Usually a shake of the head would be enough to let the interested party know he wasn’t what Owen was looking for. But if he nodded, the other man would enter the room and the fun could begin.
Owen left the door closed. He didn’t want anyone else today, didn’t want anyone touching him. He wanted the anonymity, the noise, but he didn’t desire anything else for himself. He wondered if he was becoming too morose.
“God, I need a drink.” He picked up the phone on the small dresser and dialed the front office. He heard the soft buzz of the phone ringing, and then a voice answered. “Front desk. How can I help you?”
“Can I get a bottle of champagne?”
Owen could practically hear the smile in the voice on the other end of the phone. “Are you celebrating something? True love, perhaps?”
Owen laughed, despite his sour mood. “No,” he said. “Just remembering.”
“And will the champagne help or hinder these memories?”
What an odd question. “I guess I’ll find out,” Owen said.
“I’ll have someone bring it over to your room,” the attendant said. “Enjoy your stay at Glory.”
“I always do.”
Knowing it would be a few minutes before the champagne arrived, Owen figured he would enjoy himself. He knew the attendant would quietly come in and place the bottle and glasses on a small table that waited by the door; they never interrupted what was going on, even if the person was alone. It was one of Glory’s benefits. The fantasy was never broken.
That was what bathhouses were all about, Owen thought—the fantasy. The need and desire and want. They were about the unattainable, the fantasy come to life. They were about flesh and blood and cum. They were about dreams made flesh.
He ran his hands down along his chest, stopping at his nipples. He tweaked them between his fingertips, gasping at the small points of pain that flar
ed under his skin. While he twisted his right nipple, Owen let his right hand roam down along his body, stopping at his cock that was already rock hard, waiting for him.
Raising his right hand to his mouth, Owen ran his tongue along the palm of his hand, slicking it with spit. Then he stroked his cock, working the foreskin back and forth over the head of his dick.
Owen closed his eyes and pictured Daniel in front of him, his own cock hard and ready. He imagined it was Daniel’s hand playing with his dick, Daniel’s mouth that slicked the shaft of his penis with saliva.
He moaned out loud and moved his right hand back along his body. He wasn’t ready to come yet; he wanted to save that, needed to build up the release as opposed to making it quick. He heard the click of the door opening and smiled. Some champagne would be a welcome break. It would ease a bit of the pain inside of him.
“Just leave it on the table,” Owen said.
He waited a few moments, his cock growing harder at the thought of an attendant seeing him naked, and waited for the click of the door to let him know the attendant had left. When he heard the click, Owen opened his eyes.
And his breath caught in his throat.
Chapter Three
A man stood at the door in front of him, holding a tray carrying a champagne bucket with a bottle of champagne and ice and two glasses that winked in the dim lighting.
The man had shoulder-length curling brown hair that hung in layered waves, framing a strong face with a square jaw. The jaw was covered with a few days’ worth of stubble, and Owen wondered what it would be like to have that stubble slide roughly across his skin.
The man was naked. He had broad shoulders and an incredibly well-defined chest. Owen took in a shaky breath as he watched his arm muscles bulge when he put the tray down.
Owen let his gaze roam lower, past the sculpted stomach marked with a treasure trail of coarse brown hair. It led down to the most magnificent cock Owen had ever seen. It was close to nine inches long and probably four inches around. Seeing the head of the man’s cock peeking out of a covering of foreskin, Owen felt his mouth water.
“Hello, Owen,” the man said.
When the man spoke, Owen stopped breathing. That voice sounded familiar, but it couldn’t be. Couldn’t be him. “How do you know my name?”
“How could I not?” the man asked. “Don’t you recognize me?”
Owen looked at the man’s face again, at the dark chocolate eyes that regarded him with something akin to amusement. When recognition hit, something in Owen’s chest clicked, and the world around him began to swim.
“Daniel?” he whispered.
“Yes, Owen.”
Owen could hardly get the words out. “What are you doing here?”
Daniel came closer to the bed. “Waiting for you,” he said. “I’ve always been waiting for you.”
Owen felt the world swim out of focus. “How is this possible?” His voice was shaking, his entire body vibrating.
“Anything is possible if you wish for it hard enough.” Daniel’s voice was smooth like honey, soft as silk. “And I’ve been wishing hard for you for so long.” Daniel reached out and ran a hand along Owen’s leg, sending an electric current running through his body. “You might say it’s been my hardest wish.”
Owen focused on Daniel’s face. “Am I dreaming?” he asked. “Is this a dream? I know I’m not drunk—I haven’t had any of the champagne yet.”
Smiling, Daniel sat down beside Owen on the bed. He smiled wider, his teeth impossibly white, and bent down. Slowly, Daniel moved his mouth towards Owen’s hard cock. When Daniel’s lips touched the head of Owen’s dick, Owen gasped and had to restrain himself from jumping off the bed.
“Relax,” Daniel said. “I won’t hurt you. I would never hurt you. I just want to taste you.”
Owen nodded, feeling as if his body were going to explode. Daniel lowered his mouth to Owen’s cock again and teased the foreskin there gently with his tongue. “You taste so good,” Daniel whispered. “I’ve been waiting to taste you again for so long.”
Owen gasped when Daniel took Owen’s cock into his mouth, letting his lips slide along the shaft. Owen’s dick grew even harder, and he thrust into Daniel’s mouth, Daniel’s lips closing tighter around his dick.
Owen moaned when Daniel took his lips away. “Patience,” Daniel said. “I want to enjoy this. I’ve been waiting so long.”
“So have I,” Owen said. “I’ve been dreaming of you.”
Daniel lay down beside Owen and pressed his lips to Owen’s, the stubble along his chin rubbing against Owen’s, its touch rough and welcome. Owen let his hands roam over the hard plains of Daniel’s body, taking one of Daniel’s nipples between his fingers and twisting.
Daniel pulled away from their kiss and breathed in sharply. Owen watched as Daniel’s cock jerked. He skimmed a hand down Daniel’s body and took the shaft of Daniel’s dick into his hand, let it slide along its length.
“See what you do to me?” Daniel said. “The power you have over me?”
Owen smiled, his heart filling with something close to happiness. “You seem to have the same effect on me.”
“I’m glad.”
Grinning wider, Owen moved down Daniel’s body. When his mouth was in line with Daniel’s cock, he didn’t wait. He took Daniel’s length into his mouth, letting it slip past his lips to the heat waiting there in one fluid motion.
Daniel gasped and let out a soft moan. Owen took his mouth away from Daniel’s cock for only a moment. “Relax, I’m not going to hurt you.” He grinned as he echoed Daniel’s earlier words.
Before taking Daniel’s cock inside his mouth again, Owen sucked on one of his fingers, slicking it with spit. He then spread Daniel’s legs wider so that he could see his asshole. Smiling a Cheshire-like grin, Owen probed Daniel’s asshole gently. Daniel moaned again and opened his legs wider.
Owen slid the first finger of his right hand inside, and Daniel’s asshole clenched around his finger. He slid his finger out and then in again, this time with a second finger.
“Oh God.” Daniel’s voice filled with need and want. “That feels so good.”
“I’m not done yet,” Owen said. “I’ve been thinking of doing this to you for years.”
With his fingers still thrusting in and out of Daniel’s asshole, Owen lowered his mouth to Daniel’s cock once more. He took hold of the shaft with his left hand and let his mouth slide over the length of it.
Each time Owen pushed harder into Daniel with his fingers, Daniel thrust his cock up, farther into Owen’s hot mouth. Daniel cried out, and Owen took his mouth from Daniel’s cock. He ran his left hand up and down along the hard shaft of Daniel’s cock, and his own dick grew harder still when Daniel gasped.
“Owen…”
“Yes?” Owen could barely get a breath into his body. Heat filled him completely.
“I need you inside me,” Daniel said. “I’ve been dreaming of you inside of me.”
“You want me to fuck you?”
“Yes, God yes.”
“Say it,” Owen demanded, squeezing Daniel’s cock, making Daniel gasp. “Say the words.”
“I want you to fuck me,” Daniel whispered.
Owen grinned again. “I thought you’d never ask.”
Chapter Four
“I can’t take my time this time,” Owen said. “I need you too badly.”
“I don’t want you to take your time,” Daniel countered. “There will be plenty of chances for that later.”
“I’m glad we’re in agreement about that.” Owen’s heart beat faster in his chest. He wondered if Daniel could hear it. The beat of his heart filled his whole body, vibrating inside him.
Owen slid his fingers out from Daniel’s asshole. “You’re so tight,” Owen said. “So fucking tight. You’re going to feel so good with my cock inside of you.”
“I’ve been dreaming of this for so long,” Daniel said.
“I’ve been dreaming of you,” Owen replie
d.
With one fluid motion, Owen thrust his cock into Daniel, sliding it inside Daniel’s asshole all the way to the bottom of the shaft. “I was right,” Owen whispered, leaning down to kiss Daniel roughly on the lips. “You do feel good wrapped around my dick.”
They lay there for a moment, Daniel’s asshole clenching and unclenching around Owen’s cock. “You feel better than I remember,” Owen whispered.
He began to move slowly, thrusting into Owen with soft, sensuous movements. Daniel looked up at him. “Harder,” he whispered. “Give it to me, the hardest you’ve got.”
Owen said nothing, but nodded. He pulled Daniel closer to him, spread Daniel’s legs wider, and slid his cock even deeper inside him. “You’re so big,” Daniel said breathlessly.
Gaining speed, Owen thrust his cock into Daniel, feeling Daniel’s asshole convulse around his cock. Daniel wrapped his legs around Owen, pulling him in farther. Each thrust brought Owen closer to the center of Daniel, closer to the center of the man he loved.
Owen kissed Daniel with abandon, biting his lips, tasting Daniel’s tongue as it slid across his own. Sweat slid down both of their bodies, and still Owen thrust harder. He raised himself up so that he was on his knees, pulling Daniel close to him once more. His cock still moving inside Daniel’s asshole, Owen took hold of Daniel’s cock.
It throbbed in his hand as he ran it along the shaft of Daniel’s dick, using Daniel’s pre-cum as lubricant.
“Oh God,” Daniel whispered. “If you keep that up, I’m going to come.”
Owen smiled and worked Daniel’s cock with fast, nimble movements, still thrusting inside him. “That’s the idea,” Owen said huskily. “Let me see you come. I want to see you come for me.”
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