by Dana Archer
“If that’s your first thought, then I think you’ve answered your own question.”
“No. It doesn’t answer anything. Explain. Why haven’t you mentioned this to Kade? It’s his goddess that’s going to be rubbing elbows with humans.”
“I didn’t want to add to his stress. He’s been obsessed over finding you.”
I cross my arms and smirk. “And I’ve evaded all those losers he sent after me too.”
“And you do know that’s made him look bad.” Josh’s scowl chastises me. “You realize that, right? He couldn’t bring home his little lost human no matter how much he tried.”
“He obviously didn’t try too hard. He never bothered looking for me himself.” And if Kade did, he’d find me. My inner warning system never worked for him. He’d say that means he’s not a threat. More likely me smelling like him nullifies my gut instincts.
“Would you have wanted him to abandon his pride to come hunt you? That would’ve been a disaster. Do you realize how much has happened since you ran off?”
I stand, the chair wobbling but not falling, and back up until the counter stops me. “You know it’s hard for me being here. I would’ve taken off eventually anyway. So don’t go blaming me for distracting Kade or some nonsense.”
“And how soon before you take off again and break Kade’s heart?”
I laugh, the maniacal sound a reflection of my inner craziness. “If me leaving breaks his heart after the short time we’ve known each other, that’s on him.”
Josh stands, leaving his coffee basically untouched, and heads to the stairs. “And that’s what’ll finally break you, Zo.”
“Josh.” I plant my hands on the table while my waking dream lingers—taunting me. “That night… The one I lost my baby… Did you ever see him?” I suck in a breath, but my tight chest squeezes more. “Hold him? Did you hold him before they took his dead body away?”
For a long time, Josh doesn’t look at me. He stares at the stairwell while the color drains from his face. Finally, he glances over his shoulder and shakes his head. “No.”
A spark of hope flairs, even though I know it’s only my crazy side—my guilt—playing games with me. “Then how can you—”
“I saw you, Zo.” Tears well in Josh’s eyes, and his voice thickens. “You were…hurt bad. Really bad. The paramedics—”
Josh chokes on a bitter laugh as a tear slides down his cheek. “They said they couldn’t believe your heart was still beating. The ground squished beneath you. My knees sank in the bloody dirt, Zo. Your blood literally soaked the ground. At the time, all I knew was that you were awake…alive. I wanted you to stay that way, and when you got to the hospital, you slipped into coma. That’s why you were out so long. That’s why you missed BJ’s and John’s funerals. You were on the verge of death yourself.”
“Isn’t that what you pleaded for when you were dying? Not to die so you could save your precious loved ones?” My voice slips through my mind, but it’s not mine, at least not a side of me I want to claim. I rub at my brows, covering my burning eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I remember you telling me all that. I never got to see him, that’s all. I didn’t even know I was having a him. We wanted it to be a surprise and…”
“I know.” Josh’s voice soothes me with a cool strength. “I remember.”
But I don’t. I don’t remember much of anything.
I take a deep breath. “Hey…tell Mira I said hi. Okay?”
“And that’s my cue to leave. Call me before you do leave. All right? I want to hold my baby sister for a little bit. I miss you when you’re gone.”
I nod, then follow my brother’s retreating back with my gaze, but I don’t say anything else. There’s no need. Josh knows me better than anyone. He knows I let everyone down eventually and doesn’t expect much else.
And I’m tired of proving him right.
Thirteen
Kade
Regret isn’t merely a bitch. It’s a whore I’ve known intimately many times over my long life. I’ve wallowed in the utter remorse. I’ve also risen above it, then let its tempting whispers drag me back down the slippery slopes of what could’ve been, starting the vicious cycle over again. No matter how many times I’ve succumbed to guilt, however, it’s never left me…cold inside.
In the hours since Zoe drove away from me, the chill spreading from my soul has grown until I can’t help but wonder if it’s possible the icy cold will consume me if I allow it.
Moving to the splash of sunlight in front of my office windows, I flex my hands, then shake my arms out. Still, the chill slips deeper into my limbs and numbs my fingers. Except I’m not the one who’s chilled. Neither am I the one with a well of darkness inside me. Zoe is. The touch of her soul to mine last night when we made love left a stain behind. Even now, I feel the truth. She can never offer me heaven.
Hell lives in her soul.
The sound of a door closing reaches me, followed by the scent from a Yuran pride member. I don’t move from the rays of the warm sun, however, despite them doing little to counter the numbing sensation consuming me. If Daegan wanted me dead, my severed head would already be rolling across the hardwood floor. An assassin’s reputation to move in silence, undetected by his targets, is not merely legend. The fact Daegan’s allowed my cats to sense him means today the angel of death is here as a friend. Tomorrow might very well be a different story, however. Personal relationships mean little to those who kill for a living.
“To what do I owe the honor of your presence on this fine morning?” Although my words hold a formality normally reserved for visiting alphas, Daegan would expect nothing less. The ancient male comes from a time of pomp and respect.
“My son and I have come to deliver a warning and an offer.”
My caught breath is the only outward sign of my shock. It’s also the only one I can allow and retain the image I strive to uphold. On a controlled exhale, I turn and face the oldest assassin and the male I hadn’t known stood within arm’s reach of me. I offer a single nod, an acknowledgment of Jarah’s skill and in thanks for allowing me to greet another day.
Blue jeans and a white T-shirt draw attention to Jarah’s physical strength and his bluish-black skin, the same shimmering pigment his mother—and his goddess—is rumored to have. Daegan, however, looks nothing like his “father,” but considering Jarah never mated, that’s not all that surprising. The familial tie they share is not one I’d ever dare question, however. The love of an adopted father for his son is not any less than what a biological parent feels. And Jarah loves his unorthodox family with an unprecedented and deadly protectiveness.
Without taking my attention off the most dangerous man in the room, I address Jarah. “What’s your offer?”
A small smile lifts the corners of Jarah’s mouth, offering a peek of straight white teeth, no fangs. “Don’t you want to know what threat looms in front of you that we’d intervene on your behalf?”
“If you’re willing to offer your help, whatever threat looms is not one that will defeat me.”
“Your trust in me is foolish.”
“I don’t think so. Failure would not reflect well on you.”
Jarah inclines his head. It’s not quite a nod, but with his chin dipped, he studies me. “Your leadership is about to be questioned and tested. I’m offering to prove you’re worthy of the position you hold.”
“As alpha?” The distinction matters. Since joining Shifter Affairs, leading my pride is not my sole obligation.
“As king among alphas.” Jarah’s words hold an excitement to match the glint in his eyes.
“There is no such thing.”
“There will be. It’s been prophesized. Daegan can confirm this. The only thing left to determine is who will become king.”
I stare at Jarah while a silent Daegan watches us both, but Jarah doesn’t say more. “You were in on the alpha call, weren’t you? This is about what Asa said.”
“Yes. I always call in, but never speak up. As an a
lpha without a pride, I’m not formidable enough to speak and have those in that circle listen.”
“You’re the oldest assassin. People fear you and the angels of death you’ve mentored.”
“They did at one time, but our time has passed.”
“Not according to the Shifter Council.” Daegan breaks his silence. “They’ve requested that we actively recruit new members and rebuild our numbers.”
“To do their bidding.” Spite gives Jarah’s response a bitterness I hadn’t noticed in him before.
“We’ve always done their bidding.”
Jarah looks past me to focus on Daegan. “Before the council signed that agreement with the humans, we were free to act as we saw fit. Now the Host and all its angels must abide by some legalese we never had a say in drafting.”
“And you don’t like the restrictions.” An obvious assumption based on Jarah’s anger.
“He doesn’t like the knowledge that the hard-and-fast rule he’s enforced for millennia is wrong.”
“We are predators. When there are threats, we eliminate them before they grow too powerful and destroy us.”
I look between Jarah and Daegan. “We’re not talking about shifters or humans who’ve broken our laws, are we?”
Daegan shakes his head.
“Witches.” Jarah spits the word.
“Witches are harmless.” Daegan voices the argument the humans used in barreling through the law even those on the Shifter Council wavered on. “They’re nothing more than healers or lovers of the earth and didn’t deserve our blanket death sentence.”
“Witches might be harmless, but those witches powerful enough to become human shamans are not harmless.” Jarah’s scolding tone is that of a father reprimanding a child. “In fact, human shamans are as far from harmless as any being on this planet.”
“Because shamans can take possession of other people or animals.” Exactly as the shamans did for ages before they caught the eye of the heavens and became the first shifters.
Jarah focuses on me. “Or they can be possessed. By demons. By more powerful shamans. By lost spirits. Then they’re nothing more than puppets for the being inside them.”
“Such a thing is rare.” Though, in all honesty, I can’t back my words with any fact. Until this century, we’ve never allowed witches to live long enough to prove or disprove my statement.
“Possessions were common during the time of the first shifters. In those days, you had whole family lines of shamans, from fathers to daughters and everyone in between, and those families were feared. Neighboring villagers called them berserkers or úlfheðnar or simply the crazed. In reality, they were shamans…powerful shamans who could slip in and out of other creatures with ease. An overhead raven could hold the soul of your enemy or even the female in your bed. She could love you, fall asleep in your arms, then pluck your eyes out at the direction of the shaman controlling her. That is true fear. That is why I insisted all witches be eliminated. Power of that kind can’t be allowed in the hands of humans.”
“But it can among shifters.”
Jarah nods at my statement. “Too many of our kind possess such abilities to restrict us. Including you, Kade Alexander.”
“Few of our kind have developed those powers, including me.” More because few shifters understand shamanism. At least few shifters born in the last millennium do. Ancients have either taken the knowledge with them to the grave or not bothered passing it down. “Dabbling in such things without the knowledge is dangerous. One wrong move and we could invite a demon to possess us rather than us doing the possessing.”
“Correct, but those who have developed their shamanic roots are formidable.” Daegan’s gaze holds a challenge. “Formidable enough that, if left unchecked, they can become a king among alphas. That’s what Asa wants. That’s what he believes is his reward. And that’s what he’s working to make happen. And that is what the goddesses prophesized.”
“Unless you claim the title first.” Jarah’s amusement returns. “A title you were always meant to hold.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“The Alexander pride was chosen to lead the shifter world.” Jarah repeats my goddess’s words from the night I became alpha.
“At the time, Mira had not yet conceived her babies. They are the prophesized ones. That’s who she was talking about. Besides, the goddesses offered a reward for the successful conception of Mira’s babies. If Josh had died because of the incident involving Zoe and Vince, he would never have met Mira.”
“And whose declaration allowed Josh and Mira to be together in the first place?” Jarah asks, despite not having direct knowledge of what went on here last summer. “You made it so they had a chance to create life and love and the babies the goddesses prophesized.”
“I tried to keep them apart. If anything, I should be punished for trying to prevent the prophecy from coming to pass.”
“Things happen for a reason, Kade Alexander.”
“True, and any of my pride mates who intervened to help Josh and Mira did as much as I did. Saying I did more is more than a little narrow-minded.”
“The Alexander pride was chosen to lead the shifter world,” Jarah repeats his earlier words. “Isn’t that what your goddess said to you the night you became alpha? Or are you calling my goddess a liar? She’s the one who told me. If so, I must warn you. She won’t take kindly to the blasphemy.”
“You’re reading into it. The Alexander pride was chosen to lead the shifter world. Not me. My pride.”
“A king is only one man.”
“I shouldn’t even be leading this family. My twin is the rightful one to lead. You should be having this conversation with Rafe. I never wanted to be alpha.”
“He wasn’t meant to be king.”
“Neither am I.” Frustration gives my stance a harsh bite. “And this discussion is getting us nowhere. The goddesses appeared before Asa with talk of being a king among alphas.”
“A reward, not the title of king among alphas.” Daegan corrects me in a tone not meant to mock but inform. “I was there. I heard every word the goddesses said. They offered a reward. Their reference to a king among alphas was merely a part of it.”
“Tell our reluctant king what the goddesses said.”
Daegan nods at Jarah’s order and turns to me. “War awaits us, a battle more dangerous than any we have ever orchestrated. The prophesized ones will guide us through to the other side, but even those blessed by our hands need conductors to set their paths. Their conception. Their birth. Their cohorts. None are assured. Of you and yours will their parturition be shepherded into the world where a king among alphas awaits to gather their army and herald the lost into a new life. Choose their path. Ensure their conception. And to the first prophesized one, a cohort of you and yours will be chosen, and together, they will rain hell down upon your enemies.”
“Nowhere in their words do they say a Yuran will be that king,” Jarah argues.
“Nowhere in their words does it say I will either.” Of that, I’m certain.
“The Alexander pride was chosen to lead the shifter world.” Again, Jarah repeats my goddess’s words as if he’d been present the night she relayed them to me.
“A prophecy must be spoken before a group. There must be witnesses. The words my goddess spoke were directed to me only.” I take a slow breath and cap my anger. “My goddess’s words were nothing more than some attempt to strengthen me for the trials that have challenged my pride. Nothing more.”
“A king must prove his worth. A prophecy must simply be put into motion.”
I shake my head at Jarah’s comeback. Something tells me he’ll have one for everything I say, but there is one truth he can’t explain away. “I have lost the respect of many in the alpha’s circle. None would accept me as a worthy king.”
“You’re right. You’ve left yourself vulnerable to those who’d be all too happy to steal the title destined for you. And that is why we’re
offering our services to you.” Jarah motions to Daegan. “We will mentor you and teach you to access your shamanic ability and control it. We will turn you into a male all will fear.”
“The other option is to give up and allow a male like my alpha to top you and make an example out of you.” Daegan shakes his head on a disgusted grunt. “And that is not a fate I’d recommend. Trust me on that. The sting of Asa’s punishment goes beyond any pain he can conjure.”
I turn my back on both assassins and step to the window. With my hands linked behind me, I study my pride’s territory, then let my gaze drift to the field near the creek cutting a meandering path through the land. This is home, and I refuse to allow anyone to take it or my pride from me. “And your price?”
“Your female.”
I pivot, my claws punching out in the time it takes to face Jarah. “Zoe is not a commodity to be traded.”
“You’re right.” Jarah grins. “She should’ve been killed years ago.”
I’m in Jarah’s face in the next moment. Only Daegan’s hand pressed firmly against my chest stops me from attacking the firstborn alpha who wants my true mate. The moment shines clarity on my actions. Any blood I spill will end with my death, even if I do manage to walk away from this fight. Killing an assassin will guarantee I meet another angel of death again soon.
“Explain.” I let my demand bleed into the single word.
“Which explanation do you want?”
“The one that’s drawn your fascination with Zoe.”
“She witnessed a shifter-related crime, and the attempts at burying the memory were only partially successful,” Daegan answers, likely to save Jarah from having to give in to my order.
“Had Shifter Affairs been involved, her name would’ve been given to an angel of death to eliminate the risk she potentially posed,” Jarah adds. “The Yuran pride kept the incident from Shifter Affairs, however, and took it upon themselves to deal with the witnesses left behind. They hired Dr. Fairchild, a human who prides himself on being the best of the best in such circumstances. He wasn’t completely successful, however, and admitting defeat in Zoe’s case would’ve looked bad for him.”
