“Of course.”
“Don’t let anyone use you again.” His voice broke.
My eyes filled with tears and I nodded, my lips quivering into a smile.
“Goodbye, Caitlyn.” He walked away before I could say more. The green hospital door clicked shut and that was it. No more Rhodes.
Sniffing at my tears, I hobbled down the stairs and over to the car. Eric held my door for me, making sure I was safely inside before slamming it and jumping around to the driver’s seat. Easing out of the parking lot, Eric followed Rhodes’s directions south. I had no idea which route we were taking or where we were supposed to cross the border, but I knew we’d get there safely, because I trusted Rhodes.
As we drove away, I glanced out the back window one last time and I could feel the chapter ending.
I had no idea what lay before us. It was both terrifying and liberating in the same moment.
But somehow, it’d be okay.
Somehow it had to be, because you didn’t survive an ordeal like that without it meaning something.
42
Eric
Three weeks later...
The white sheets were scratchy, the ceiling fan creaked, the pillows were lumpy and the springs in the mattress dug into me every time I rolled over. But none of it mattered.
I gazed up at the ceiling, my eyes locked on the curls of paint peeling away. One hand lay on my stomach while my other was trapped beneath my sleeping beauty.
Rolling onto my side, I ran my hand lightly down Caity’s body, kissing her naked shoulder. She sighed sweetly, but kept on sleeping. It was tempting to wake her, relive the night before in all its delicate, exquisite detail, but I wouldn’t do it. She needed her sleep. It was the first time we’d made love since she broke up with me nearly a month ago. Her body was finally strong enough. The winces she used to make every time she moved were less frequent, proving her fractured ribs were healing. Her skin was no longer mottled with black and blue bruises and the wound on her arm had healed nicely. I’d been hesitant at first, not wanting to hurt her, but her gentle kisses won me over, her silky body on top of mine impossible to resist.
We’d been holed up in this Mexican motel for three weeks, but it would soon be time to get moving. The doctor had taken Caity’s stitches out a few days earlier and all that was left to heal were her ribs...and her broken heart. We were both emotionally spent after the harrowing experience, but I hadn’t lived through Caity’s ordeal. Nightmares still woke her. She never cried out or made a big drama about it, but I could tell by her flinching body and jerky legs that the images in her mind weren’t pleasant.
She wasn’t the only one. My dreams of drowning were coming thick and fast, but I didn’t want to burden her with them. We chatted a little, but the conversation would dribble off to nothing as memories consumed us.
A light tap at the door jolted me from my thoughts. I gently slid my arm free from beneath Caity, pulled the sheet over her naked back, and snatched a pair of shorts off the floor. Checking the peephole, I slid the chain free and let my father in.
“How you feeling?” I kept my voice to a whisper, pointing to the bed.
He saw Caity sleeping and nodded, creeping into the room. “I’m good.”
The speed of his recovery still surprised me. The guy had been shot. Yes, the bullet had whizzed straight through and not hit any vital organs, but still. He’d been up and about for a week already, his confident optimism a real morale-booster. Through Caity’s really bad days early on as she cried into her soup, lamenting the fact she’d never see her family again, it was Dad who talked her through it, convinced her that she was saving their lives by vanishing.
At first I thought her heartache was to do with missing them, but when it really came down to it, she despised the thought of hurting them, letting them down...and that was what was killing her. Dad set her free with his quiet reassurances and I was eternally grateful.
I patted him on the back after he’d taken a seat at the table, giving him a genuine smile.
I had a lot to thank him for.
Sliding the bag off his shoulder, he placed it on the table and unzipped it. “I’ve got a going away present for ya.”
Spinning the bag around, he showed me the wads of cash. My eyebrows lifted.
“Don’t worry, it’s all legit. That’s what I’ve been working on this week. I’ve managed to drain the accounts and set up new ones offshore. Hopefully the money will stay undetected for a while.”
“This isn’t all of it?” I picked up a wad of twenty-dollar bills and skimmed my thumb along it.
“I just took the cream for you guys...to get you started.”
Throwing the money back, I slumped against my chair, struggling to find my voice.
Pulling a notebook from his pocket, he slapped it down in front of me. “These are all the numbers, passcodes and details you need to access the rest of the money. I’ve split it: half for your mom, half for you. I don’t want anyone linking you guys again. It’s easier to keep you safe this way.” He tapped the front pouch. “There’s also two passports in here.”
My lips parted.
“For Mitchell and Alice Clayton. They’ll get you through and if you ever need a new identity, there’s an emergency contact in the back of the book. He’ll help you out, no questions asked.”
“Clayton,” I whispered, opening the passport and looking at my mug shot. “Gramps’ name.”
Dad shrugged. “I knew it was risky, but his first name works as a surname and...” He ran a hand through his hair. “I wanted you to have a part of him with you. I don’t think it’ll be a problem.”
“No, I like it. Thank you.”
“I’m trying to do everything I can to set you up. Keep you safe.”
A cold sadness crept through me. “You’re not planning on staying with us.”
His sad smile mirrored mine. “I thought I might go check out New Zealand. I’ve got your note for Mom. I figure why post it when it can be hand-delivered.”
I sniffed out a chuckle and nodded, scratching my eyebrow and trying to swallow the lump in my throat.
“It’s gonna be hard leaving ya.” He sighed. “I’ve been watching you from the shadows for a long time now, flitting between Vegas and L.A.”
“You never told me you came to L.A.”
“I just had to see you guys every now and then.” He shrugged. “I couldn’t talk to you, so it didn’t really change anything.”
“Yeah, it does.” I grinned. “It changes everything.”
A look of regret swept over his face before he could pull it into line. His lips pressed together and he stood from his spot. “I’m gonna be heading off this morning. I’ve paid enough to see you through one more night and then you guys need to move on.”
I looked up at him and nodded, feeling the weight of my unknown future.
“It’ll kill me to be so far away from you, but...” He cleared his throat. “You’re a man now and I, uh, I have to trust that you can look after yourself.”
I tapped the table, my throat too thick to speak.
“I’m proud of you, buddy. You’ve become an amazing man.” He gripped my shoulder, his eyes glistening. “And I’m sorry I let you hate me, and I’m sorry for letting you down.”
With a firm nod, he spun and quietly made for the door.
“I love you, Dad.” My voice wobbled over the words.
He paused, slowly turning to face me. I stood, running a hand through my hair and squeezing the back of my neck.
“I get why you stayed away.” My eyes ran over Caity, my heart squeezing with just how precious she was to me. I nearly lost my life trying to save her. “I really get it now and, um...I...forgive you, you know. I forgive you for leaving, and I don’t blame you for Gramps. That was never fair. You would have saved him if you could’ve. I—You...” I let out a breathy chuckle. “I’m proud to call you my dad.”
His face bunched and he nodded, his voice catching. “Thank you.�
�
We both straightened, pulling back our shoulders and lifting our chins, our heads bobbing as we fought the sting of tears.
“Would you guys just hug each other already,” Caity murmured from the bed.
She was still facing away from us, so she couldn’t see our duplicate frowns. We glanced back and noted our mirrored expressions. With a chuckle, we hesitantly walked toward each other. Dad’s arms came around me first, his strong hand giving me a few hard pats on the back, just like Gramps used to.
I squeezed back, closing my eyes and trying to forget that this was probably the last time I’d see my dad in a very long time...possibly forever.
He left shortly after that. Another mumbled goodbye, a kiss blown to Caity, and he was gone.
I stood in my spot, my eyes locked on the closed door. Caity’s gaze was on me; I could feel her quietly studying my pain and I let her.
“No matter who comes and goes from your life, you’ll always have me,” she whispered.
I turned to her then, a slow smile tugging at my lips as I crawled onto the bed and leaned over her. “That’s all I need.”
I brushed my lips against hers and knew it was true.
Epilogue
Caitlyn
The sun was setting, a bright orange globe sitting on the horizon. The waves were pink, the sky a magical canvas of orange and red. I drank it in, loving the view and the feel of the cooling sand between my toes. Eric stood behind me, his arms wrapped around my shoulders and his chin propped on the top of my head. I played with his fingers, loving his strength behind me.
It’d been six months since I’d left on my dreaded weekend to Quella’s house. Six months since my life had been shredded and patched back together. Dreams still chased me in the night, but peace found me each time I opened my eyes. I’d roll into Eric’s arms, always there, always willing to hold me.
“I wonder if Scott and Piper are married yet,” Eric murmured.
I smiled. “I bet they are. A summer wedding. I can picture it already.”
“Sorry we couldn’t be there.”
I shrugged. “Do you think we’ll ever see them again?”
“I hope so, but I can’t say for sure. Who knows what the future holds?”
The thought was so unnerving, yet so true. I had no idea what each day held, we just seemed to be living it day to day. We never stayed anywhere longer than a few weeks. We never unpacked our bags. It was like being on permanent holiday, but without that giddy freedom.
I had to admit we’d seen some pretty cool stuff. We’d stuck to the coastlines whenever we could, finding small resorts and hotels in under-populated beaches the length of South America. Eric surfed each morning now. It took him a while to get back into the water, the dreams of his near-drowning holding him back. But he got antsy and needed to face it head-on. Eric had a special bond with the ocean. Surfing had always been the thing that calmed his soul. So about a month ago, I bought him a board and we went out there together. It was a cathartic exercise and one that he now liked to start his day with. We didn’t always manage it, but I had noticed that the more time passed, the less antsy he got. He was finding his balance between the ocean and the land...discovering himself again.
My heart stirred. I needed to do that same thing...find my place...my way.
I bent forward and kissed Eric’s forearm, hoping he’d understand. The waves lapped into shore, a peaceful soundtrack for this conversation.
“It doesn’t matter where we go or what we do. As long as you’re there, everything’s going to be fine.”
I smiled at Eric’s soft words. “We can’t live in limbo forever.”
“What do you want to do?”
“I’m not sure, but...” I bit the edge of my lip. “I still have this gift...”
Eric went taut behind me and I spun in his arms before he could react. Lightly touching his cheek, I tried to ease away his immediate fears.
“Caity, you can’t use it again. I—”
“It’s not your choice, babe,” I murmured. “I’ve been thinking about this more and more with each passing day. If I’m not going to use this gift to help people then what’s the point of having it?”
He shook his head, but I kept going.
“Indie, Libby, Piper, Connor...those girls. If it wasn’t for my gift, how long would they have suffered in silence? I helped rescue those people.”
“You nearly got yourself killed...more than once! You were sold, Caity!”
“But I’m free now. No one owns me. Not even you, Eric Shore.”
His eyebrows dipped together, his unmasked expression flooding with insecurities.
Rising to my tiptoes, I kissed his lips, holding his face in my hands and rubbing my thumb along his cheekbone. “I love you and we belong to each other, because that’s our choice. You don’t force me to be your girl. It’s a privilege.” I dipped back down, my feet landing flat on the sand. “Rhodes made me promise never to let anyone use me again, and I won’t.”
“But...” He groaned. “Don’t do this to me, please.”
I chuckled. “I’m not saying I want to throw myself back into dangerous situations. I never want to feel that vulnerable and hopeless again. But I can’t just hide away, either. I’m ready to start reading people and actually choosing to do it. I’ve been fighting this power since the day I got it. Sure, I’d accept it for short bursts of time out of my need to help people, feeling guilty if I turned my back, but hating this eyesight throughout it all. Then as soon as the crisis was over, I’d pretend I didn’t have it and try to be normal. I can’t be normal, Eric. That homeless man, he changed my life forever and it’s time for me to embrace this gift, make it my own. If I can help people, even in the smallest way, I should do it.”
He sighed. “You mean like how you’ve helped the lady from housekeeping realize the guy at reception is in love with her?”
I grinned. “Maybe.” I bit the edge of my lip, my smile dying. “Eric, there’s real suffering out there. I want this gift to mean something.”
“So, what are you saying? You want to go back? Apply for a job at the FBI?”
I scoffed and shook my head, laughing softly. “No way. I want to move forward. This world is full of human beings. And culture, color, language...none of that matters. We all feel the same things, and I can see them...I can help the ones that need me.” I wrapped my arms around his neck, threading my fingers together. “Why don’t we go exploring and see what’s put in our path? I didn’t look for any of those other situations, so maybe there’s some higher power at work who was forcing me to acknowledge what I had. Maybe I missed a bunch of other stuff because I wasn’t willing to look for it. I only found the big, scary things that were impossible to ignore...and I might come across those again, but in the meantime, regular life is full of so much angst and heartache. Maybe I’m the one who’s supposed to help fix it.” I cringed, my nose wrinkling. “I’m not trying to be arrogant. I don’t think I’m God’s gift or anything—”
“I do.” Eric brushed his knuckles over my cheek. “That homeless guy chose you for all the right reasons, and the fact that you don’t want to run kills me, but it also makes me love you even more.” He nipped the tip of my nose with his lips. “And I will follow you wherever you need to go, and I will protect and love you the best that I can.”
My smile bloomed to full sparkle as I read him. “Yes, you will.” I nodded. “My Hercules.”
He chuckled, running his hands up and down my back.
An impulse surged through me then. I had no idea where it came from, but it was right.
“You want to marry me?”
His eyes rounded, his lips parting before pulling into a smile. “You already know I do, Mrs. Clayton.”
I chuckled at the use of my false identity. “You never told me you wanted to make it official...as in Mr. and Mrs. Shore.”
He rolled his eyes. “Caity, you read me every day. You can see how much I love you. You knew the second you asked
what my answer was going to be.”
I giggled, dipping my head. “Busted.”
His finger came under my chin, gently lifting my face. My heart swelled with that familiar feeling, that overwhelming emotion that was for him alone.
“I love you,” I mouthed.
With a soft smile, he said it back, his lips finding mine and sealing our engagement with a kiss.
Eric was right. We had no idea what our future held, but we had a direction and we were going to travel that unknown course together.
As he lifted me against him and I wrapped my legs around his waist, I knew I’d just been set free.
It seemed ironic that the peace I’d been craving came from accepting the one gift I’d tried to run from.
But that homeless man was right…
I was going to have a full and happy life.
It may not look like the one I’d imagined, but it was going to be richer in different ways. And hopefully one day, when it was safe, I’d be able to see my family again. We’d see Piper and Scott.
But in the meantime, we’d make the most of what we had—each other, and a love that had been tested to the limits and survived. I love that could never be broken.
THE END
Dear reader…
Writing Poker Face was a very emotional experience. Caity and Eric’s story was intense and harrowing, but the thing that made it so heart-rending for me was the truth that human trafficking still happens in this world.
Some of the research I did while writing this book brought me to tears. It breaks my heart to think that there are people in the world—men, women and children—who are forced against their will to do all manner of things. They have no voice and are treated with no respect. It’s hard not to feel a sense of helplessness. All I can really do is make people aware that slavery is a very real thing in this world today. There are organisations out there fighting against it and I support one of them financially—Love146. A portion of the sale from every one of my books goes toward helping them. It doesn’t always feel like enough, but it’s something that I can do for now.
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