“I did not run from you. I ran to try to make something you can be proud of.”
“Where did you go?”
He took her hands. “I am going to be worthy of you, Elinor. I promise that I will if you will just wait for me.”
“Wait? For how long? Mother will not allow me to wait if another offer is made. And what if the gentleman is titled?” Panic tightened her chest until she struggled for breath. She would need to make a list of ways to stall her mother’s plans.
He pulled her closer. “A few months is all I ask, my darling. Just give me a few months and I will have enough money to come to your father and make an offer. Surely you can hold your mother off for a few months.”
“I suppose I can, but why? I have my dowry? Certainly that will be enough for us to live comfortably.”
He looked down at his feet. “I do not want to marry you for your money, Elinor.”
Her heart beat wildly. “But is that not why you pursued me?”
He leaned down and kissed the tip of her nose. “I will not deny I came to London this season because I needed to marry so that I can restore the money that my father squandered.” He kissed her cheek. “I had every intention of finding a rich bride to enable that plan.” He kissed her other cheek. “Then I met you, and you were the perfect solution to my problems.”
She tried to pull away, but he held her close and gently kissed her lips. It was a gentle peck, but she felt it down to her toes and everywhere in between.
He hugged her. “I knew you were the one, Elinor. So beautiful, charming and sweet, I could not resist you. I want to be worthy of your love and in the weeks we courted, I found a way to get enough money to repair my country home and still have enough to make a good start of the marriage. I made the deal on some grain. It will take a bit of time for my plans to pan out but in a couple of months I should be able to show your father that I am worthy of you.”
It was difficult not to let his lips distract her from what he said. She heard him say he loved her well enough though. She breathed normally again though her heart still raced. “I would gladly have given you my money.”
He frowned. “We can take your money and put it away for our children.”
“Children.” The notion of raising babies with Michael made her sway with joy.
“You do want children, don’t you, Elinor?”
She looked up at him, her eyes brimming. “Oh yes. I want a house full.”
“I have a very big house.” His grin spread wide.
“Good.” Tears trickled down her face. Elinor was sure she had never been so happy.
With his gloved thumbs, he gently wiped the moisture from her face. “You will wait for me then?”
“I will wait, Michael.”
Immediately, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her deeply. Her mouth opened under his and she melted against him. Michael and a house full of children with his marvelous blue eyes filled her head.
Her heart beat so fast, when he pulled away, she gasped for air.
“I have to go before I really do ruin you.” He was equally out of breath.
“Must you?” She didn’t want him to go. What she wanted was more of his kisses.
He laughed and placed a chaste kiss on her forehead. “It will not be long, my love. I shall return to London as soon as possible, and we will be married.”
Once again, Elinor felt alone. “Don’t go.”
I must but I will be back. I promise.” He took one step away.
“Michael.”
He turned.
She swallowed the lump in her throat. “Do you love me, Michael?”
In an instant, she was in his arms again. “I love you more than life, Elinor. I will not betray you. Please trust me.”
She tentatively kissed the skin behind his ear. “I do trust you. I just want…”
“Yes, my love, what do you want?”
“I want…I don’t know.” Her tongue touched his ear.
Grabbing her bottom, he pressed her roughly against his arousal.
Surprised but not afraid, she arched against him.
His lips found hers roughly and his hands caressed her everywhere. He pulled her deeper into the thick garden shrubs. His breath came hard and he kissed her ear, her neck and then moved down to her throat. His fingers caressed the top of her bodice then tugged gently to release her nipple.
The cool air felt odd and delightful on her sensitive skin.
He grazed it with his thumb and then his mouth covered hers and she pulled him closer, wanting something but not knowing what she needed.
Everything spun as if she’d taken too much wine. It was wonderful and terrible all at once. She gripped his arms tighter never wanting to let go.
He pushed her away.
“No.”
He fixed her dress so that she was covered and pushed a stray curl back behind her ear. “I must go. It is too difficult to be here in the dark alone with you. I will not be able to stop myself.”
“I did not ask you to stop.” She surprised herself with her boldness.
He grinned. “No, you did not, but I will wait and take you when you are mine, my love. We can wait for our wedding night and I promise it will be worth the wait.”
He kissed her nose, and then was gone.
Chapter1
See the dressmaker
Find just the right gift for Michael
Ask mother for pin money
Write to Michael so he will know I’m thinking of him.
Elinor had many more items to add to her morning list, but she put down her quill at the knock on her door. “Yes.”
Her mother stepped inside. “Your father wishes to see you in his study, Elinor.”
“Why so formal, mother?”
“The matter is quite urgent.” Virginia Burkenstock folded her hands together and pulled a sour face, much different from her normal serene expression.
Elinor placed her list inside her desk, stood and shook out her skirts.
As soon as she reached her father’s study a quiver of nerves twisted her stomach. She entered.
“Sit, daughter.”
She obeyed.
“You will not marry Sir Michael Rollins.”
For a full thirty seconds Lady Elinor Burkenstock could not respond. She heard what her father said, but it was so outrageous for him to be cancelling her wedding a mere month before the much anticipated day, she was sure she had misunderstood. She stared at him for some sign that he would say more or make her understand, but he only cleared his throat and fiddled with a document on his desk.
Recently raised to the rank of Earl of Malmsbury by the crown, Rolf Burkenstock had a new sense of his own worth. He stood prouder, had lost much of his natural modesty and lived in fear of gossip and scandal.
“Father?” Elinor recognized immediately that her father’s new earldom meant that Sir Michael Collins was now beneath her, but she never dreamed that either man would go back on their word.
“We’ll say no more on the subject, Elinor. It’s bad enough that we will have to deal with some gossip for breaking the engagement. The man should be left with some dignity.”
Her mother, Lady Virginia, had obviously been crying and was now struggling to keep from bursting into tears, though she sniffed every few seconds in spite of her efforts. Several strands of her blond hair had escaped her usually neat chignon.
The Earl looked equally flustered. He had not cried, of course, but he fidgeted and cleared his throat often. His imposing height and piercing pale blue eyes usually intimidated her, but he would not make eye contact and looked from a spot on the wall to one on the carpet. As a diplomat for the crown, he met with kings and princes on a regular basis, but his own daughter made him uncomfortable.
“Has Sir Michael cried off?” Elinor was calmer than she would have thought herself capable of.
Now neither of her parents would look her in the eye.
“Father, what is going on?” her voice gained an edge.
It was her mother that spoke. “He has been injured, Elinor.”
“Injured? When? How? Why was I not summoned to care for him?” Panic rose in her chest. She would go gather her wrap and have the carriage take her directly to Michael’s townhouse.
She had nearly reached the door when both of her parents shouted in unison, “Stop.”
Their burst of terror was so out of character she spun around gaping at them in shock.
Her mother had risen from the small chair near a bookcase and looked as if she would leap over the table to reach her. Virginia had one hand over her mouth and the other outstretched in Elinor’s direction.
Her father actually began to stride across the room as if he intended to physically restrain her if she persisted in her efforts to leave.
She had never seen her parents in such a state of utter panic. It was almost comical.
Her father spoke first. “You are forbidden to see Sir Michael. You will not care for him. He is nothing to you as you are no longer engaged. I will be dissolving the contract immediately so there is no reason for you to be in his company ever again.”
“Father…” She was at a loss for what to say.
“I will brook no argument, Elinor. You will obey me in this.”
She didn’t know what was going on. It was not possible that she could not marry the man she loved, after nearly a year engagement. Her emotions boiled to the surface. “Will no one tell me what is going on?”
“Elinor,” her mother scolded. “You must not raise your voice like a scullery maid.”
She stared at her mother and forced her mouth closed. Everyone had lost their minds. She took a deep breath. “Mother, I have been summoned, told that I am no longer engaged and informed that I am not to even see Michael again. What reaction were you expecting?”
“I expect you to act like the lady I raised you to be.” Virginia straightened her back and folded her hands in her lap.
“Then tell me what has happened to Michael.”
“Sir Michael,” Lord Malmsbury corrected.
“As you wish, Father.” She continued to stare at her mother.
“It is just as well. He is beneath you now anyway. I was only allowing the wedding because the agreement was already signed, and I did not wish to renege. It is a shame that a true patriot has suffered such a fate, but you can certainly do better now that you are the daughter of an earl.” Her father was mostly talking to himself, but she listened carefully for some bit of logic that would make this sudden change of plan, make some kind of sense.
“Mother, what is going on?”
Malmsbury cleared his throat. “I’ll just leave you two ladies to have a chat.” He practically ran from the room.
Elinor knew that most people in London society thought she was silly and senseless, and she would admit to her closes friends that she rather liked the low expectation her ignorance afforded her. However, at that moment she was not concerned about what society, her friends or what her mother thought of her intelligence. “Mother, I demand to know what is going on.”
Her mother sat back down in the small chair then lean forward putting her head in her hand. She had taking the exact same pose just over a year earlier when the paper had reported Elinor’s certain ruin. She and Michael had been caught kissing in a library at a ball by Lady Pemberhamble, the most notorious gossip in London. The kiss had been brief and passionate. It had been foolish really, but she could not help herself when she was with Michael Rollins. Then, when Michael had quickly left town after the report became public, she was only saved by her friends’ support.
She hated causing her mother any pain, but needed to know what was going on.
“Elinor, please take a seat,” Virginia said softly.
She did as her mother asked, sitting in a large armchair facing her. It was the same chair where she always sat when summoned to her father’s study. Usually the chair was warm and cozy and no matter what silly rules her father set out to impose, she would snuggle into the chair and barely listen to him. Panic had her perched at the very edge of the chair waiting for her mother to speak.
And she waited.
Virginia held her head, fidgeted in her seat, looked up several times and then back down at the Persian rug that covered the floor between them.
After a full three minutes, it became clear that Virginia might never speak if not prompted further.
“Mother, I can see that you are upset. Shall I ring for tea?” Though tea was the last thing in the world that she wanted, she thought it might put her mother at ease and thereby speed up the dissemination of information.
“No, dear. That will not help today.”
“What would help, Mother?” She said less kindly than she intended.
Virginia looked up and there was a weary sadness in her usually clear blue eyes. “What I am going to tell you is not easy for me, Elinor. These kinds of things are just not discussed. Your father had much difficulty in his explanation to me and I daresay probably left out quite a bit. Now I will tell you but at this point who knows where the story has gone wrong with so many people between the source and you and me.”
Elinor could not think of a single response to her mother’s monologue.
“Sir Michael was in an accident of some kind while working on behalf of the crown. He was in France.” She looked up at her daughter hopefully.
“He did mention that he would be traveling on the continent for a few weeks. He promised to return a week from now and told me that I should not be concerned about his missing the wedding. He said it rather jokingly, and so I took little notice.”
“Yes well, I don’t know the exact nature of his business in France, but I do know that it was official and important, according to your father. I also do not know the exact nature of the injury or how he obtained it. I cannot tell you exactly where he was in France. I do not know when he returned to England.”
“Mother, what do you know?” Elinor’s frustration leaped to her breaking point.
Virginia sighed deeply. “It would seem that his ability to be a proper husband has been compromised.”
Elinor waited for her mother to continue. This could not be all the information she would be receiving.
But it appeared that her mother was satisfied with her explanation and would say no more.
“Mother what is that supposed to mean?”
Virginia blushed and became agitated. “It means that you cannot marry him.”
“But why? You have not told me anything.” Hysteria was one more bit of strange conversation away. Her skin was starting to itch, which meant red blotches were appearing all over her neck arms and face. It happened whenever she was hysterical, and there was no way to stop it.
“I have told you enough,” her mother said.
“No. You have told me nothing.” Elinor stood up and began to leave the room.
“Elinor, stop.”
She spun around and faced her mother. “Tell me what has happened or I swear I will go directly to Michael and ask him myself.” She scratched her neck making the blotches worse.
“He is no longer able to father children,” Virginia screamed, in a rush of words.
Eyes wide, Elinor stood very still and let what her mother had said seep into her mind. “This is certain?”
“Your father had it from Lord Marksbury at his club. I cannot imagine the earl would make up such a tale.”
“Perhaps his Lordship was mistaken. Where did he hear this news?”
“I don’t know. You know how quickly news travels in London, Dear.”
“And how in error those rumors often are.” Anger welled up from her gut.
Her mother stood up and walked over to her. She placed an arm around her shoulder. “I understand that you would wish the rumors were false, my Dear, but I’m afraid we must look elsewhere for a husband for you.”
Rage surged though Elinor. Her life was once again turned upside down by the will of London gossip. She shrugged off her mother’s embrace and stormed across the room. “Look elsewhere? You make it sound like we are purchasing a dress. I will not be looking anywhere, Mother. I will marry Sir Michael Rollins or no one at all until I hear from his lips that he does not want me. Father can do as he wishes, but I will not cry off. I am not quite sure how anyone could know whether or not my fiancé is capable of producing an heir, but I am certain that London’s gossips will not stop me from having the man I am in love with.”
“Do you mean to disobey your father?” Virginia’s eyes were wide and her face pale as death.
Anger aside, to actually state such a thing would be foolish. Her father would likely lock her in her room or worse exile her to the country estate. She must be smarter than them. “I will think on all you have explained to me mother. I realize I have become overwrought. I would prefer to go to my room now, if that is acceptable to you.”
“Quite understandable, Dear, you will need some time. I completely understand. We will not accept any invitations for the remainder of the week. Monday will be soon enough to begin again. I do hate the thought of starting this whole marriage business again. We were so close.” She sighed long and closed her eyes.
At that moment, Elinor knew what she must do and it was completely against any of the rules of society.
She left her mother, curtsied to her father, who hovered outside the door, and rushed up the steps to her room. She had to have a plan.
Sitting at her desk, she pulled out her journal and made a list. Perhaps the most important one of her life.
Get out of the house unseen
Transportation
What to say to Michael
Would he require care when she saw him?
Find the address of the best surgeon in London
What if he refused to see her?
The last sat her back in her chair. Then what?
Tainted Bride Page 27
