by Lois Richer
“Pleased to meet you, Abby.” They probably shook hands before Drew said, “I doubt if you girls remember me. But I remember you. You’re Zoe and you are Mia.”
“How did you know?” Mia asked in surprise. “Everybody gets us mixed up.”
“That’s my little secret,” Drew told her with a chuckle. “You two have grown since the last pictures your dad sent!”
“Daddy, you gotta ’duce us,” a chirpy voice reminded him.
“Yes, I do. Folks, this sweet thing is Ella. My daughter,” Drew said proudly. “Honey, this is my brother Zac, your uncle. This lady is Abby. And this is Zoe and Mia.”
Ella’s hi to Zac and Abby was perfunctory before she asked the twins, “Do you like to play Barbies?”
They quickly agreed and soon all three were merrily chatting about dolls.
“I thought maybe you’d fly into Kalispell but I guess the connections didn’t work, huh?” Drew chuckled. “They never seem to work for me, either, when I have to go to New York. So, is this all of your luggage? I expected more.”
“Whatever was left is supposedly being shipped.” Relieved when Abby slid her hand under his arm, Zac realized how much he’d come to count on her guidance.
“If you’ll wait out front while I get the car, then we can load people and suitcases all at once,” Drew suggested. “That way you won’t have to work your way across a crowded parking lot.”
“Thanks for that.” Zac heard the swishing sound of sliding doors. Then a gust of cool wind buffeted him. “Welcome to the Rockies, Abby,” he said when he felt her shiver. “It will get warmer, I promise.”
“I’m h-holding you to that,” she said.
“Oh, it will. Before it gets colder.” He chuckled at her groan.
“I forgot. Mandy, that’s my wife,” Drew explained to Abby, “sent a shawl for you and sweaters for the girls. Zac, put this on while I get the car.”
Zac felt the welcome weight of a wool sweater land in his hands and figured it had been hand knit by his mother from the lambs she raised. With Abby’s help, he slid his arms into the sleeves but brushed away her fingers to button the front himself.
“Thank you, but don’t fuss with me. Get warm yourself,” he ordered, feeling helpless, a bit useless and worried that everyone nearby was staring—a grown man being dressed by a woman. “Help the kids.”
“Ella’s got that covered,” Abby said, a smile in her voice. “And I put my shawl on first so we’re all good. Right, girls?”
The three young ones took a time out from their happy chatter to agree. Zac figured he should feel relieved that Mia and Zoe had settled in with Ella so quickly. But he didn’t. He felt awkward, and that irritated him.
“Be at rest, Zac. We’re safely here. Your brother will get us to the ranch. The girls are fine. Everything is as it should be,” Abby murmured for his ears alone.
Nothing is as it should be, he wanted to scream.
Abby said Drew had returned and led him outside. His brother loaded their baggage while the rest of them basked in the warmth of the car heater. Moments later they left the airport.
“How far is the ranch?” Abby asked from behind him. She’d refused to take the front seat, insisting she wanted to be near the girls.
“About an hour and a half,” Drew said. “Sleep if you want. I know you’ve had a long journey.”
“I’d rather look around. It’s so beautiful here,” she added, wonder filling her melodic voice. “I can’t get over how green it is.”
“I’m really sorry about your clinic, Zac. I know how much the place meant to you, especially since Maria died.”
“Thanks.” Zac marveled at the compassion in Drew’s voice. Marriage had obviously mellowed his usually taciturn brother. “How are the parents doing since the fire?” He needed to change the subject. Fast.
“Much better. Friends have completely rebuilt the tack barn so at least they don’t have to look at the ashes and remember. Both of them still have some skin grafting to get through, of course. But they face everything with the same gritty determination they’ve always had.” Drew’s voice softened. “Your homecoming will help. They’ll be relieved to see you all. We’ve been worried since we heard of the attack.”
“I’ll be glad to see them, too.” And then what would he do? Zac wondered. Sit on his rear and wait for his sight to return, if it ever did, while life went on for everyone else?
“Some folks at church wonder if you’d be willing to talk to them about your work in Africa and about ways they can help rebuild it,” Drew said.
“I don’t—”
“Not right away, of course. Whenever you feel ready to talk.” His brother smiled. Zac could hear it in his next words. “Miss Partridge is your biggest promoter.”
“Oh, man.” Just what Zac needed—the former librarian, now retired, and the busiest body he’d ever known in his youth, with her nose already in his business.
“She’s actually nothing like when we were kids, Zac,” Drew assured him. “She’s more mellow, kindhearted.”
“Uh-huh.” Zac nodded while his brain said, Maybe, but she’ll still want to know every detail of what happened. And he did not want to discuss that publicly.
“Feel free to nod off for a while, bro,” Drew told him. “You’ve been traveling for hours and that flight from New York is worse than the red-eye one. Trust me, I’ve done both enough times.”
“Maybe I will.” Zac had no intention of napping. He closed his eyes, but that was mostly to avoid further discussion about the mission. Maybe one day he’d be ready to rehash that day with his older brother, but not yet.
Actually, Zac did sleep, deeply and without dreams, only to awaken as they pulled in under the arched wrought iron gates that proclaimed this land Hanging Hearts Ranch.
“Welcome home, family,” Drew said cheerfully.
Zac answered the twins’ questions as fast as he could, but they came too quickly. He was relieved when Abby intervened. Did she realize how hard his head had begun to throb?
“Girls, I think Uncle Drew and Ella will probably take you on a little tour of the ranch later and tell you all you need to know,” she chided. “You don’t have to rush to learn it all at once.”
“Abby’s right. I will take you both for a good look-see around the place. But first we’ll have some lunch,” Drew said. “Ma’s been cooking up a storm for days.”
“I wish she hadn’t gone to so much trouble. I’m sure the burns on her hands still bother her.” Zac suddenly realized he’d become an enormous pain to everyone. “Plain sandwiches or canned soup would have been enough.”
“You can’t have forgotten our mother that quickly, bro.” Drew laughed heartily as he parked, probably in front of the big house. “Suffering a little pain for one of her chicks is a sacrifice Ma will make every time. Don’t worry. Mandy made sure she didn’t overdo it. Now let’s get inside so the parents can assure themselves you’re all okay.”
Zac had barely stepped out of the vehicle when he heard his mother shriek. A second later her arms enfolded him and held on.
“Oh, Zac, praise the Lord you’re all right.” Bonnie bathed his face in kisses where the cuts and bruises had healed enough not to be raw. “I’m so glad you’re home, dear.”
“Thanks, Mom. Glad to be here with you.” Her embrace felt so good—safe, tender, loving. “Thank you for having us. Dad’s here, too?”
“Right here, son,” the bass voice boomed. “Ditto what your mother said.”
Zac savored his father’s gripping handshake and the familiar slap on the shoulder as he fought a tidal wave of emotion. His parents, at least, had not changed. Still offering comfort in a world that had turned upside down.
“This is Abigail Armstrong,” he said, remembering his manners after the delighted grandparents had acquainted themselves with their grandchildren. “
She took in Mia and Zoe and cared for them when I couldn’t. She met me in New York with the girls and accompanied us all the way here. Abby’s agreed to stay for a couple of months while we adjust.”
Once again there was an odd pause. Zac couldn’t figure out why.
“We’re, uh, very glad to meet and welcome you, Miss Armstrong,” his parents finally responded in unison.
“It’s Mrs.,” Zac corrected.
“Actually, it’s Abby. It’s lovely to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Halston.” It was the first time Zac had heard Abby hesitate. “I hope it won’t be a problem if I stay until your son and the girls are settled in?”
“My dear, our home has been horribly empty since the boys left.” Zac was pretty sure his mom had linked her arm with Abby’s because Bonnie was a woman who liked to touch. Her voice dropped to a murmur he was meant to hear. “But to tell you the truth, the testosterone around here gets a bit overwhelming sometimes. It will be nice to have another female on the land. By the way, this is Drew’s wife, Mandy.”
“Hi, Abby. And hello to you, big brother.” Mandy hugged Zac. “How goes it?” She’d never skirted around an issue she could face head-on.
“Pretty good for an old blind guy.” Zac returned her hug. He’d known Mandy since he and his brothers had first arrived at Hanging Hearts Ranch because she’d lived next door. She was a true cowgirl, yet Zac had never known anyone more feminine. “How’s married life with the perfectionist?”
“Drew is improving,” Mandy said, not so quietly. “Slowly.”
“Hey! It’s hard to improve on perfection.” Drew might pretend he was affronted, but Zac was pretty sure his brother enjoyed the repartee.
“Haven’t cured him of his pride yet, I see,” Zac teased.
“What are we standing outside for? Come on in, folks,” Ben urged.
Grateful for Abby’s surreptitious grip on his arm, Zac followed her murmured directions.
“Two steps up. Good. Through the door now.” Her voice was so quiet no one seemed to notice as the others continued to laugh and jest on their way into the house. “Turning right here.” When he would have gone too far, she gently tugged on his arm to stop him.
“Thanks. I guess I forgot where the doorway is,” he muttered, embarrassed by his faux pas.
“Nobody noticed,” she murmured. Apparently she was right because conversation continued until his mom intervened.
“I thought a fresh vegetable soup with some homemade rolls might be easiest for you to manage, son.” Bonnie’s voice felt like one of her quilts, snug and comforting. “Why don’t you and Abby sit here?” There was the sound of a chair scraping against the floor. “The girls can sit at the little table and the rest of us will just gather around.”
Thanks to Abby, Zac didn’t trip or stumble while seating himself. He was relieved when she sank down beside him and quietly explained about the table settings, even though it emphasized how helpless he truly was. The banter was easy to follow but he didn’t offer much himself, content to let it flow around him, their teasing a salve to his battered heart.
It was only when Mandy asked Abby about her family that Zac paid closer attention, noting that his nurse glossed over the fact that she was a widow and had no family. She also didn’t mention that her son had died. And if Abby had made any concrete plans for her future, she kept them to herself.
“I’m not sure what I’ll do when my job here is finished,” she said thoughtfully. “Maybe I’ll spend some time getting to know this country.”
“That’s a great idea.” That was Ben, the enthusiast Zac remembered. “You’re always welcome to come back to the Double H.”
“Yes, please return as often as you can,” Bonnie added. “We have folks coming and going all the time and we love it.”
“Thank you.” Abby shifted in her chair, her arm brushing his. “Perhaps after lunch you’ll show me where Zac and the girls will be staying. I’d like to get them settled and unpacked.”
“The log house you saw on the way in is where we’ll stay. Right, Mom?” Zac waited for his mother to agree before facing Abby. “It’s perfect. Not too big and I’m familiar with every nook and cranny. As kids, Drew, Sam and I used to play in there if no one was using it. Should be easy to find my way around.”
“Would you mind staying with us, Abby? There’s a large bedroom upstairs with its own bath, and Ben has rigged an intercom so that if the girls or Zac need you, you’ll hear them call,” Bonnie explained. “Will that work?”
“It sounds perfect,” Abby said. “Thank you so much.”
“Don’t fill up on this soup,” Bonnie said, the ladle tinkling against china. Zac figured she was serving her soup. “I made strawberry rhubarb pie for dessert.”
“What’s rhubarb?” Zoe sounded hesitant.
“It grows in Grandma’s garden,” Ella explained. “It’s really sour if you eat it by itself. But Grandma adds strawberries and puts ice cream on top so it’s yummy.”
“You and Mia can try some and see if you like it,” Bonnie offered.
“I haven’t had rhubarb pie in eons.” Zac’s mouth watered. “Actually, I haven’t had any pie in eons.”
“Must be why you’re so thin,” Bonnie grumbled. “Some homegrown food will do you good.”
“Fatten me up, you mean.” Zac glanced in the direction he’d heard Drew’s voice. “How much weight have you gained since you moved back home?”
“None. My wife works me too hard for me to gain an ounce.” Drew chuckled at Mandy’s protest. “She’s always got another job for me.”
“Does you good to get out from your numbers dreamworld once in a while, cowboy,” Mandy shot back.
Zac bowed his head as his dad asked a blessing on the food, then cupped his hands around the big, warm bowl, content to savor this safe, happy place. Breathing in the aromas of his mom’s cooking brought back so many memories. The girls chattered and giggled just as he and his brothers had done so long ago. It was almost as if—
Abby’s soft fingers guided his hand to his spoon.
“I’ve buttered a roll. On a plate to your left,” she whispered, her breath brushing his ear, her enticing fragrance somehow imparting a sense of calm.
“Thanks.” Zac tasted the soup. There was no one depending on him here, no life and death situation, no disease requiring a cure that he needed to ponder. It felt like his soul could stop asking, Why, God? long enough to inhale and loosen up. It might take a while to let his vigilant guard down, though.
And then what? his brain demanded.
Zac had no answer to that.
* * *
Abby savored every second of the family meal, impacted by the love swirling around this table. Bonnie and Ben clearly adored one another, hands brushing each other’s shoulders, eyes exchanging tender glances. Drew also found plenty of excuses to touch Mandy and his face lit up every time he glanced her way.
What was it like to be loved so much, so dearly, so completely? Once, Abby thought she’d known. She’d thought she’d found that kind of love with Ken. But it was a mirage, a mask he wore until he learned how much money she had. Was that why Ken’s about-face hurt so much? Because she’d been deceived and betrayed by someone who claimed to be a child of the same God she served, but who had turned into a greedy, grasping person who seemed to hate her more with each day that passed? A man who, once he’d seen her bank statement, once she’d refused to spend exorbitant amounts on toys he wanted, became a man she didn’t know? Was his anger fueled by her refusals to give in when he threatened her? Had knowing she had more money than he made him feel inferior? The questions about Ken never ended.
Perhaps seeing the others so deeply in love hurt more because Abby had come to accept that she would never know that kind of love, never be cherished like Bonnie and Mandy were. Or perhaps it was because she’d finally realized she couldn’t allow hersel
f to be vulnerable again. Ken’s abuse had wounded too deeply, taken too long to recover from, if she had yet recovered.
No, she’d never fall in love again. But making that decision meant she was depriving herself of the opportunity to enjoy what Bonnie and Mandy had. Abby had never realized how utterly costly that decision would be. But what else was she to do? She could not revert to that scared, silly shadow of herself ever again.
“Hey, did you fall asleep?” Zac’s elbow nudged her side.
Suddenly aware that everyone was staring at her, Abby’s cheeks burned with embarrassment.
“Sorry. I got lost in admiring your happy family,” she said quickly, hoping that excused her lack of attention. “It’s so wonderful to see.”
“I’m sorry you have no family of your own, Abby, but I’m thrilled you’re here with us.” Bonnie’s eyes softened. “Family is one of God’s biggest blessings.”
“Yep,” Ben agreed with his wife. “The world looks a lot less scary when you know where you belong.”
Where do I belong? Abby wondered.
“You c’n ‘dopt our fam’ly,” Ella said brightly. “Then Mia and Zoe c’n be my cousins.”
“They already are, sweetheart.” Drew grinned at his daughter, his love for her apparent. “But sharing our family is a great idea. So welcome to the family, Abby.”
“Oh. Thank you. But I wasn’t hinting—” she hurried to explain, but Zac cut her off.
“They know you weren’t.” He chuckled. “It’s just that adopting folks is what this family does.”
“I’m one of their adoptees, too,” Mandy said cheerfully. “And speaking of adopting, Miss Partridge stopped by early this morning for her usual riding lesson. She was asking about you, Zac—said she’d like to speak to you privately when you have a free moment.”
“I’m at a loss to understand how the lady’s riding lesson relates to your comment about adoption, but I’d like a chance to get settled before I start seeing anyone,” Zac said quickly. “Maybe she can visit in a couple of days.”
