She crosses her arms over her chest and sniffs as if fighting back tears. “I didn’t even want to come to the auction.” Her resolve slowly fading, she tilts her head to the side, averting my gaze. “I didn’t want to talk to you ever again. And for good reason.”
Briana’s had a hard life. She never lets anyone into her very sheltered, closed-off world, and so I know better than anyone how hard it was for her to let me in. I blew it. Or at least that’s how she sees it. I’m just another person to disappoint her, another person to crush her fragile heart.
I close the distance between us and cup her shoulder with my hand. She doesn’t run away this time. She’s more vulnerable now than I’ve seen in years. I can tell she hates showing me this side of her when she keeps her watery eyes pointed at the ground. But I know what to do to make her feel better. When I wrap my arm around her, she allows me to hug her. Regardless of the anger shaking through her, I hold her, attempting to quell the rage bubbling inside her.
“Come next weekend,” I say, stroking her brown hair with my fingers. “Please, I want you there. I need you there. You were always my good luck charm.”
She peeks up at me, her blue eyes glassy from fighting back tears. “I hate hockey.”
“I know.”
“I hate you.”
“I know.”
“Fine,” she hisses. “As long as you don’t try anything stupid.”
“Like what?”
“Don’t try to kiss me… or talk about the past.”
I nod, my chin rubbing against the top of her head, feeling somewhat victorious. This is a step in the right direction, I hope.
Chapter Four
Briana
My jaw drops when Sadie walks into the green room on Cole Harker’s arm. He towers over her, his muscles bulging from just about everywhere, making Sadie look like a child in comparison. Cole glances down at Sadie, a wave of his blond hair falling in front of his brown eyes. His movements are so effortless when he sweeps the hair off his forehead, his attention still fixed on my best friend. What a lucky little bitch. She got the guy, and I got… a pain in my ass.
To most of the girls on campus, Julian is the ultimate prize. But they don’t know him the way I do. He’s a spoiled brat who cares about status and money, waving his father’s connections in everyone’s face. Or at least that’s how it feels to someone like me. Someone who has to work for every single thing they own.
I close my eyes for a second to bring myself back to center, something my therapist showed me years ago. She said children who survived through trauma deal with things differently than others. Rage is something that always brews inside me. No matter how many times I try to ignore that side of me, it always comes knocking when I’m in a vulnerable position.
Like right now.
I’ve never felt so exposed. Being this close to Julian stirs up so many old feelings. I tried to ignore those emotions for years, but now that we’re forced to be together again, it’s hard to deny that some part of me will always care about Julian. And that part of me is in physical pain.
When our eyes meet, Sadie flashes a pearly white smile in my direction, beaming with delight. She won the date with Cole. It took her four years to get the nerve to talk to him, and now she’s clinging to his side, chatting his ear off about who-knows-what. My bestie must see the hardened expression on my face because her smile falters but not enough for other people to notice. She gives me a look that says, ‘Are you okay?’ I nod in answer, afraid to spoil this for her. After all, it’s her birthday, a day I want her to remember, and not for the wrong reasons.
Until I met Sadie, I hadn’t had a normal birthday in years. Not long after my parents were taken from me, my entire life changed. Nothing was ever the same again. My foster parents didn’t give a shit about any of the kids in their care. We were paychecks to most of them. Except for Jodie, my last foster mother, I have no family. No one bothered to claim me after my parents’ deaths. Jodie was the only person other than Sadie who remembered to send a birthday card or cared if I spent Christmas alone.
Sadie tugs on Cole’s thick bicep, and they stroll over to us, looking like the prom king and queen. All smiles and beauty, the only thing they’re missing are their crowns. They make a cute couple. As they move toward Julian and me, I could see them together, now wondering why it took Sadie this long to get near him. She’s gorgeous and tall for a girl, but compared to Cole’s impressive height her five feet seven inches is nothing.
“Look who I picked up,” Sadie jokes.
Cole flashes a genuine smile that illuminates his handsome face. “Sadie won the auction, but I feel like I’m the one who won.”
Gag me.
My eyebrow rises at his comment because it sounds like a load of crap. Who talks like that? I stifle my laughter, forcing a cheesy smile instead. Julian places his hand on my lower back, his long fingers sliding beneath my shirt, exposing my skin to him. The smile slips from my face, the urge to burst into a fit of laughter no longer there. Now that I’m back to thinking about Julian, my entire body goes rigid against his. He must feel my stony demeanor because he pulls me tighter to his side as if his closeness will make me less frigid.
“You two make a cute couple,” I say to Sadie and Cole to break the tension in the air.
“So do you guys,” Sadie says.
I want to murder her for giving Julian any encouragement whatsoever. But I have to let this one slide.
Sadie’s smile remains intact along with Cole’s. He seems genuinely happy she won the auction. I hope for Sadie’s sake that he doesn’t plan to string her along until after he gets what he wants from her, and then the facade will crumble like it always does.
At least in my very limited experience, the honeymoon phase never lasts. The second you get too happy, too comfortable, someone or something takes it from you. It’s the way of life, or at least the way of my life. But I hope for Sadie that her luck is better than mine. It usually is better, so I keep my fingers crossed that everything she’s ever imagined with Cole comes true. If only I could do the same with Julian…
After all of the players enter the green room with their dates, a group of girls I recognize crowd around us, standing at the front of the room where they command the attention of everyone. At least a dozen beautiful girls stare at us, their smiles plastered on their faces. Shannon Brady, the girl I work with part-time at Rizzo’s Bakery stands next to her sorority sisters. Kappa Delta hosts the event every year, with the proceeds this year going to a children’s charity.
I wave and she returns the gesture, flicking her long, dark hair over her shoulder. Like me, Shannon attends Strickland University on a scholarship. Her family doesn’t want her to better herself in any way. They don’t support her dream to graduate from college, and they don’t want her to open her bakery after school. We bonded last year when I sat next to her in marketing class. Around Christmastime, she brought anisette cookies into class, and when I saw the name of the bakery, I asked her more about Rizzo’s. And then after eating a handful of her cookies, and finding out we have a lot in common, she offered to ask Mrs. Rizzo if I could work at the bakery two days a week after school.
Shannon dates Jamie O’Connor, the son of a tech billionaire and one of the starting players on Julian’s hockey team. Unlike Julian, Jamie isn’t a spoiled brat. He’s a nice guy and very down-to-earth. Sometimes, Jamie pops into the Rizzo’s just to say hello. It’s adorable. I like Jamie. We talk about comic books and video games when he comes into the bakery. He told me I was ‘cooler than most girls’ when I knew he drives the same car as Tony Stark in the first Iron Man movie. Not like I know much about expensive cars I can’t afford, but I pay attention to things. Movies and games were how I passed the time as a kid. They also kept me from losing my sanity.
Jamie wasn’t part of the auction this year. Except for Trent Kane, none of the players Jamie grew up with were included. All of them bailed because they’re now in relationships. So, that left Julian, Damon Knox, Cole
Harker, and Ryan Nash up for grabs.
Lucky me.
“Can I have your attention please?” A pretty blonde in a tight black dress that hugs her in all the right places raises her hand to get our attention.
Just the sight of her makes my blood boil. Abby Gale is the bitch who got between Julian and me over two years ago. She has more money than God and is too gorgeous for words. I hate her even more than Julian. When she speaks, people snap their heads in her direction. She’s the kind of woman who commands authority. I guess that’s how she became president of her sorority. And somehow, she had convinced Julian to let me go.
Julian was the first reason I wanted to avoid The Player Auction. Abby was the second. And now that I’m stuck in a room with both of them, the air is too thick, too heavy for me to breathe. I take a deep breath and close my eyes as I try to visualize anything other than ripping her face off. Head down, I try to calm myself, avoiding everyone in the room. I block it all out, from the stupid speech Abby is making about the auction to how good it feels when Julian taps his fingers on my lower back.
I wish Sadie were close enough for me to grab her. She’s the one person who can calm me down when I’m feeling out of control. My emotions are like a volcano ready to erupt. By the time Abby is finished her speech, my blood is like hot lava about to boil over. Without thinking, I rush out of the room and take off into a sprint down the hall. I hear Julian call my name followed by Sadie.
But I keep going.
I need to be alone.
I need time to think about what this date with Julian means for me. Once I reach the end of the long hallway that leads into the event center, I stop and lean my back against the cold wall.
I bend forward, pressing my palms to my knees and take a few deep breaths. Not until I hear the loud thud of shoes and heels clicking on the tilted floor do I peek up at Julian and Sadie. She’s out of breath, as if she just ran a marathon, while Julian looks like he did nothing more than stretch his arms. He’s in amazing physical shape.
“What was that about?” Sadie says.
“Did I do something?” Julian says. “Because if I did…”
“No.” I wave my hand. “You didn’t do anything.” Then, I turn my gaze to Sadie. “It was her. I just couldn’t stand it anymore. Her voice. I fucking hate her…” Anger surges through me, causing my body to tremble like leaves on a tree.
“Oh,” Julian says, stepping back from me. “You ran away because of Abby?”
I nod.
His broad shoulders slump as he stuffs his hands into his pockets. “Nothing ever happened with her. Just so you know.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I spit back. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Sadie comes up to my side, interlocking her fingers between mine. “Abby is a trigger.”
Julian doesn’t seem to understand what she means, which is fine by me. I don’t want him to know how much the past still haunts me. The feeling of not being good enough for him still gnaws at me like an itch I can’t scratch.
“I can’t be around her,” I say to Julian for clarification.
He tips his head in acknowledgment.
“Do you mind?” I say after a long pause between us. “I need to be alone with Sadie.”
It takes him a second before he understands. His already darkened expression turns grim. The smile he gives me looks forced.
“Yeah, sure. I’ll talk to you later.”
After Julian disappears down the hallway, I turn to look Sadie in the eyes. “I can’t do this. I can’t be around him. Not after all of the progress I’ve made with Dr. Saxon.”
“But you won the auction. Don’t you at least want to see if he’s changed? He seems different to me. I know he still cares about you.”
“I had to cancel my appointment with her to come here. I should have gone.”
She rubs my back. “It’s okay, babe. We can call Dr. Saxon when we get home. I’m sure she’ll fit you into her schedule.”
A few deep breaths later, I consider a few things. For starters, I’m ruining Sadie’s birthday with my dramatic bullshit. Two, I looked like a coward running away after Abby’s speech. Dr. Saxon would tell me that the only way to confront a problem is to address it head-on. Yeah, I did the exact opposite. So now, in my next session with her, I have to admit to being a failure. Again. I couldn’t even handle being in the same room with Abby and Julian without having a meltdown. And lastly, I have to put my big girl pants back on and act like an adult.
“This is your special day. What do you want to do?”
She grins so hard it lights up her entire face. “I was thinking we could grab some birthday dinner at Del Frisco’s.”
“Sounds good.” I pull her into a bear hug. “I’m sorry. I acted like a jerk.”
“It’s okay, babe. You’ve been through a lot in your life. I shouldn’t have put you through this. I thought you were better and that you could handle being around him.”
Her words take me by surprise. What did she put me through? “It was an accident. I dropped my paddle. You were only picking it up for me.”
After I release her from my grip, she nods down the hall. “You ready to get this party started? I could use a drink and a good steak.” She rubs her flat stomach over her tight dress. “I’m so hungry I could eat a whole cow.”
I laugh at her snarky comment, hooking my arm through hers as we leave the event center together.
Chapter Five
Julian
After I leave Briana alone with Sadie, I find Nash, Harker, and Knox outside the green room. All three of my friends are playing on their cell phones, their eyes pointed down at the screens. Their dates are missing along with mine. From the looks of it, everyone scattered after Briana bolted out of the room as if it were on fire. She ran away so damn fast I thought I did something wrong. Again. Around Briana, I feel like I’m walking on eggshells, too afraid to make a mistake.
Nash leans against the wall, pressing the heel of his Ferragamo oxford against the brick. He glances over at me, and his shaggy black hair falls in front of his dark, haunting eyes. “Where did you run off to?”
“Nowhere,” I lie. “Just wanted to talk to Briana before she left.”
I still have no idea why Briana was so upset about Abby. It’s not like we were ever together. I never had any interest in Abby, despite all of her attempts to steal me away from Briana. I guess in the end Abby won. Briana’s insecurities and Abby’s bitchiness and unwillingness to lose cost us our relationship.
Abby couldn’t stand to see me with Briana, all because she was poor and a threat to her perfect life she wanted with me. That was it. The only reason Abby had inserted herself into our relationship. Once Briana was gone, Abby kept her distance. I told her off, and that was pretty much the end of us speaking for months.
“You ever gonna give up on that girl?” Knox says with an attitude. “She’s a waste of time.”
Like my father, Damon Knox never understood why I would date someone outside of our social circle. He’s a rich snob. That’s what Briana used to call me, and I guess it fits. We’re all loaded, me more than the rest of them.
“She’s hot,” Nash says, peeking up from his phone. He looks like Leonardo DiCaprio at The Oscars with his pretty boy looks, dirty blond hair, and dressed in the same Giorgio Armani suit and black Louboutin’s. “But what’s the big deal with her?”
“Nothing,” I growl.
“You get like this every time we bring her up.” Knox pushes off from the wall and closes the distance between us. He unbuttons his Tom Ford suit jacket and glares at me. “If your dad finds out you’re talking to her again, he’s gonna flip shit. Is she worth losing everything over?”
“I don’t recall asking for your opinion, Knox!”
“Someone needs to bitch slap some sense into you,” he challenges. “Harker won’t say a fucking word. He goes along with whatever you say.”
“No, I don’t,” Harker says with venom in his tone. “I d
o what the fuck I want.”
Knox tilts his head back and laughs. I want to punch this motherfucker in his jaw. That’s usually how we settle our differences. But we’re in a crowded hallway at school.
“The fuck you do,” Knox says to Harker. “You’re so far up Rivers’ ass I don’t know where you start and he ends.”
Harker moves faster than The Flash. Before I can blink, he has Knox pinned against the wall on the opposite side of the hall, shouting in his face. Nash shoves his phone into his pocket. He’s closer to them and pulls Harker off Knox.
“What the fuck is with you assholes? Stop fighting over some chick that won’t last a week.”
“She’ll last,” I spit back.
Nash shoots a wicked look in my direction, his blue irises as hard as steel. “She runs away from you every chance she gets. You could be fucking a model or an heiress, and you paid Sadie to drag the help to the auction with her.”
“Don’t fucking talk about Briana like that.” I reach for his throat, but Harker stops me, gripping my wrist in his hand.
“She’s not that bad,” Harker says to stand up for me. “You guys just never gave her a chance.”
“Rivers almost lost his trust fund over her last time,” Knox shouts. “Years of putting up with his dad’s shit has to count for something. And he almost threw it all away for his Cinderella.”
I point a finger at him, Harker still at my side holding me back. “Don’t fucking push me, Knox. I’ll make your life a living hell if you do anything to get in the way this time.”
“I was only trying to help,” he counters. “She doesn’t belong. She’s not one of us. We all know it. Even she knows it.”
He’s lucky I forgave him for his intervention in my breakup with Briana two years ago. The rumors that drove Briana and I apart were started by one of my so-called best friends because he thought he was doing me a favor. Not quite. I’ve never gotten over Briana.
Most Desirable Player Page 3
