The Art of Mentoring

by Shirley Peddy

  I told Alicia I was planning to meet with Katy today and would find out what was going on. I thanked her for telling me. I could tell by the way she fidgeted there was more she wanted to say, so I asked.

  “There is more,” she replied, “but I don’t like to be the one....”

  “Would it help if I promised not to be angry or upset with Katy?” I asked.

  For a moment she hesitated. Then she said, “I’ve heard other complaints about Katy. People tell me she is quick-tempered and abrasive. I’ve seen it myself. One time, I got her middle initial wrong on a letter, and she blew up at me. I tried to tell her a couple of times that she should be easier on people, but she seems so—defensive. I know it’s wrong to talk about people. She’s really a good person, but... I don’t know! This is so hard.”

  She stood up, and I could see her trembling. I walked around the desk and stood beside her. “It’s okay, Alicia. I really will see how I can help.”

  “Please don’t tell her I told you this. I don’t dislike Katy, but she can be so, so short-tempered.”

  “You can trust me. In the meantime, what do you think it will take to soothe Mr. Kramer?”

  Alicia sighed, “A call from you, I think.”

  “I’ll handle it, just as soon as I talk to Katy, okay?” Alicia left, and I promised to get back to her as soon as I talked with Kramer. Judy was at the computer working on a letter. She looked up. “I’m meeting Katy at ten this morning,” I told her. “Has she called in?”

  “Yes. While you were talking to Alicia. I didn’t think I should disturb you. She said she couldn’t make the ten o’clock meeting, but she’d be in sometime this afternoon if that was okay with you. She’s calling on The Vitamin Shop. Katy’s wearing her pager, so if you want me to I can get in touch with her.”

  “Can you reach her on her cell phone?” I asked. “I’d like to have lunch with her today at 12:30, if that’s convenient. If not, please see if you can set up something this afternoon, the earlier, the better.” Judy nodded. A few minutes later, she came to my door. Katy would meet with me at two p.m. Judy also told me John Kramer had called. Things were heating up.

  When Judy left, I closed the door and read Katy’s file, this time more closely. There was nothing in it to indicate any problems or even any situations similar to the one I had heard about. No one had said she was abrasive or lacked interpersonal skills.

  There was also nothing to indicate much in the way of training. Katy had been through the standard three-hour orientation and the mandated time management class. Seven months? Okay, we start from scratch. I asked Judy where Katy’s office was. If the door was open, I wanted to peak in, perhaps to get a clue about Katy the person. I promised myself I would go no further. That would be espionage. The door was open; the office was immaculate and devoid of adornment. I’d have to wait until two to learn more.

  Around one p.m. I received another e-mail from Elroy. He wondered how the recruiting was going. I replied, “Think in terms of small steps—some forward, some not.” His response came minutes later: “Forge ahead—with small steps.” I considered what those small steps might be as I thought about my two o’clock meeting with Katy. There were basically four things I wanted to accomplish: (1) to help Katy understand the situation she had created at Super Health (2) to get her to take responsibility for solving it; (3) to help her identify a more appropriate response to pressure situations; and (4) to indicate my intention of responding to the phone call from John Kramer without making her feel I thought she was unable to straighten up her own mess.

  I didn’t see myself as a supervisor, even a temporary one. There were some duties of supervisors that I knew I would have to perform in the daily functioning of Wholesale Marketing at TYH. It was the larger, more important role of supervisor that I chose to forsake. Supervisors have responsibility for the work output of the group. To that end, they give performance appraisals and coach people on performance improvement. I chose not to be involved in that. As I saw it, my role from the beginning was to be a mentor. I wanted to support their individual growth, which I believed would impact their satisfaction and ultimately their contribution. The more I discovered about what had been happening at To Your Health, the more convinced I was that mentoring was the only way I might help.

  You may be asking, but what of Elroy’s charge to recommend the keeping or terminating of the marketers? My response is simple. Right or wrong, I had already made up my mind I would recommend that all stay, and unless I found a major insoluble problem, I had no intention of changing my mind. That fit with my personal philosophy that when organizations foster personal growth, provide opportunity, and expect accountability, people usually rise to the occasion. In the short time I was to be at TYH, my focus would be on growth. My responsibility was to make that answer the right one. Based on what I had seen already, I had no illusions it would be easy.

  Katy: The Challenge of Inappropriate Interpersonal Behavior

  Promptly at two, Katy appeared. I jumped up from my chair and invited her in. This afternoon she looked striking, dressed in a red suit which showed off her dark-skin and wearing her hair in a single long braid. At five feet ten inches, she towered over me. When I asked her to sit down, she perched on the edge of one of my blue guest chairs, and I had the feeling she was getting ready to take flight. I remember thinking this discussion would not be easy. To my invitation of coffee, she responded brusquely, “No thanks, I don’t drink caffeine.” She refused soft drinks and water as well. “What’s up?” she asked me. I couldn’t quite understand how it happened, but in short moments since she arrived, she had quickly assumed command of this meeting.

  “About Super Health...” I began.

  Katy interrupted. “Under control,” she told me confidently. “They’ll be writing us a check today.” She stood up. “Anything else? I’ve got to write up an order.” She spoke in a voice both resonant and commanding.

  “Yes,” I said. “About Frank Manchester...”

  “What an incompetent!” Katy said dismissively, shaking her head to accent her disapproval.

  “Super Health is a long-standing customer. Now they’re upset, and....”

  She stretched out her arm, fingers up, palm facing me in the kind of gesture traffic policemen make when they want you to put on the brakes. “I’ll handle it.”

  That’s a gesture that irritates me, but I took a deep breath and continued. “That’s fine. It’s yours to handle. Now, please sit. I need some information from you before I return John Kramer’s call.”

  She sat down, slowly and reluctantly. “He called you? What for?”

  “I haven’t talked to him yet. I wanted to meet with you first. Help me out and tell me what you think he might be wanting, Katy,” I said.

  She seemed to sink into the chair. “Okay, Rachel,” she said with a sigh, “I agree that I might have come on a little strongly when I called him, but Super Health is my problem, and I want to straighten it out myself.”

  I silently checked off items one and two. “Listen, Katy,” I said taking another deep breath, “do you think I’ve never spoken when I should have been listening? That I haven’t used a tone I regretted? I understand how you might have been exasperated by problems with the account, but you can see what happens when you go to battle. It doesn’t matter who’s right or who’s wrong. Now everyone’s defenses are up. I’ve been there and I’ve got the scars to show for it. Take it from me, as a very wise man once told me when I stepped over the line, negotiating will get far better results than confronting.” I have always found it much more convincing to admit having made my own mistakes when advising another how to correct hers.

  “I’ll apologize if that’s what it takes to make everything all right,” said Katy with a sniff, “but my heart won’t be in it—I can tell you that.”

  “I understand,” I responded, “but a graceful apology is what’s called for, don’t you think? A friend of mine calls that ‘falling on your sword.’ It’s a great
image, but apologies aren’t nearly as fatal.”

  “Sounds like suicide to me.”

  I laughed. “He’s done it a number of times, and I can report he’s still alive.”

  For the first time, I saw the hint of a smile. “I’ll call Frank right now,” she said.

  “Do you think it might be better to wait until I talk with John Kramer?” I asked. She sighed, then nodded. “Why don’t you call him in the morning? If it’s okay with you, we could meet around eight, and I’ll tell you what Kramer said.”

  “Let’s make it 8:30,” said Katy, asserting command once more as she sprang up and headed for the door.

  “That’s fine. In the meantime, let’s both keep in mind the outcome we’re looking for.”

  “Outcome?” she asked, turning toward me.

  “Restoring a warm relationship with Super Health and expediting their invoice payments.”

  “Sure,” she said, as the door shut behind her. So I called John Kramer. At first, he sounded aloof, but after I “fell on my sword,” he began to soften up. Then I discovered he knew Elroy Grant. That cinched things. They had met on an airplane when both were attending a conference in Rio. By the time they parted three days later, they were friends. Kramer shared a few Elroy stories, and I added a couple of my own.

  Then Kramer turned to the subject of Katy. “Don’t know about her,” he said. “She’s a pistol.” I pointed out that Katy was very knowledgeable but relatively new to the business world. Kramer told me he hoped I would “straighten her out,” and I promised him we would get things resolved. Our conversation was friendly enough, thanks to Elroy. At the end of it, I felt Kramer was in a watchful and waiting mode, but I was pleased he made no further threats to cancel orders. I dropped by Alicia’s office and told her that I had spoken with both Katy and John Kramer.

  “What about Frank?” she asked.

  “Katy is going to call him in the morning,” I told her.

  “Will she apologize? Will it be all right?”

  “Yes to both,” I responded. “And thanks again for coming by.” I looked at my watch. It was 4:50. I walked to her door. “It’s late Alicia, and you’ve put in a full day. Let’s close up shop and go home.”

  “But I have some things to do.”

  “I’ll bet they can wait ‘til tomorrow, “I said smiling. “I’ll be in my office. Come by and we’ll walk out together.” About fifteen minutes later, Alicia and I left the building. Maybe, it wasn’t a major triumph, but it definitely was a beginning.

  On the drive home I reflected about the day. Even though both meetings, the one with Katy and the follow-up with Alicia, had gone reasonably well, I was under no illusions that major changes would ensue. Basically, both women had recognized that I had some authority, albeit temporary, and I had not overstepped the invisible boundary they had set for me—at least not yet.

  I stopped by the grocery, picked up some fragrant teas, and brought a bouquet of white and pink carnations for Lucien and Beth. They had finished dinner when I knocked on the door and presented the flowers. Beth insisted that I come in, have some tea, and taste the results of a new peanut butter cookie recipe. I was delighted; the cookies were still warm from the oven. As we munched on them, I filled the Powells in on the situation with Brad.

  “Are you going home for the weekend?” asked Lucien. I said I was, even though I had some misgivings because Paul had told me not to come. Beth felt that Paul might not have wanted to trouble me, but she was sure he would be glad to see me. At times like these, we could be great support for each other.

  Then we talked about TYH and what was going on there. When I told them about my lunch with Charlie, Lucien nodded. “I’ve always thought a lot of Charlie,” he told me, “and so does everyone at TYH. He may be unassuming, but don’t underestimate him, Rachel. He has a lot of influence. If you need something, he’s your man.”

  “Like what?” I wondered.

  “Information, service, getting things done, whatever— a word from Charlie generally stops the foot dragging.”

  “Sounds like superman,” I said. “Can he leap tall buildings?”

  “Maybe not tall ones,” laughed Lucien, “but he has leapt over the TYH Building a time or two.”

  “Perhaps I should ask him why all the walls are undecorated and painted white,” I said. “I think it’s depressing.”

  Lucien’s Story Continued: The History of the White Walls at TYH

  “Oh, I can tell you that. I still have my spies over there,” Lucien said chuckling. “Several years ago, when your company was coming to look the place over prior to buying us, Altis Dunlop, our President, walked around the building and saw a couple of offices that didn’t look business-like enough. There were pictures of children and a few by children, dried flowers in frames, etc. on the walls. In one office, someone had shelves that were painted blue or yellow and decorated with large paper flowers. Anyway, Altis decided that the building needed to have a ‘clean’ business-like look. So word came from the president’s office we would be painting and re-carpeting. The painting was done the following weekend. Mysteriously, the shelves were painted white, those wall hangings that hadn’t been removed by the tenants disappeared, and there was a notice in the middle of everyone’s desk to the effect that everything on the walls had been warehoused. Personal belongings, including the paper flowers, could be reclaimed there and taken home. Any pictures people wanted to put back on TYH walls would have to be approved by Human Resources. I heard folks were pretty angry, and most of them rebelled at asking permission to put something on their walls. But tell me, Rachel, why are you so concerned about what is or isn’t on the walls?”

  “Because I believe that the walls are symbolic of the unresolved conflict that has hurt productivity at TYH. Management has a right to set some standards about the appearance of the work place, but it sounds as if this was handled by fiat. And then, instead of suggesting standards, they made matters worse by requiring people to go through a bureaucracy to do something as simple as hang something on their walls. In my experience, people usually react to what they interpret as unfair punishment by withdrawing the most intrinsic asset a company has, personal productivity. It’s like what happens in a family. When we impose our will on others, sometimes we fail to see that silence is more destructive than openly-aired conflict. It’s amazing to me how little attention is paid to the small things that matter so much to people.”

  I told Lucien that I suspected TYH management had chosen to ignore the silent rebellion, and two years later people no longer cared, but I sensed a lingering hostility in the air. I wasn’t sure that doing something about it would have a major impact, but I was convinced it would be a good start. The two things I was sure of were (1) that I couldn’t face those bare walls much longer, and (2) I wasn’t planning on reinforcing the current situation by seeking approval to hang some pictures. Actually, I wasn’t sure the rule was still in effect, and I decided right then I wasn’t going to go through a bureaucracy to find out.

  It was Friday and I was looking forward to going home for the weekend. I felt a bit guilty, I admit, since I had so much to do here, particularly since I still hadn’t finished arranging my small apartment and giving it at least the semblance of home.

  I waved to Judy in passing and headed straight for the coffee room. Stu and Katy were in the midst of a conversation, and for some reason I thought I might be the subject, particularly when the unfinished sentence, “You don’t have to...” seemed to die on his lips as I entered the room. Quickly moving to the door, Katy mumbled something about seeing me at 8:30 and left. Stuart followed me back to the office and stood in the doorway. “Got a minute?” he asked.

  I nodded, and he entered about two steps and then leaned on the wall, one hand holding a cup of coffee, the other, in his pocket. A rather sophisticated, debonair look, I decided. Refusing to sit, he said he’d like to meet with me later and asked if he should make an appointment through Judy. “No,” I responded, “le
t’s set a time right now.” We agreed on 2:30, and I suggested the small conference room across the hall.

  At 8:25 I headed for Katy’s office. For the first few minutes, we spoke of everything but the reason I was there. I told her briefly that I had returned Kramer’s call and that he had indeed been annoyed. I felt the relationship was in limbo, depending on how things went with Manchester. Katy told me she had been giving the whole situation some thought and wondered if an apology were really necessary. “You know, Rachel, we were in the right,” she said adamantly. “If Super Health had kept their promise to pay when they should have, none of this would have happened.”

  I agreed, adding, “Even so, now it has happened, and we could lose their business. What do you propose to do?”

  “I don’t know, but I think it’s like a thunderstorm. If we give it some time, it’ll blow over. ”

  “Katy, is this your best idea, or is this about your reluctance to talk to Manchester?”

  “Oh, I’ll be glad to talk with him,” she said, repeating the ‘stand back’ gesture that had irritated me the previous day, “but I’m not so sure he doesn’t owe me an apology. Imagine saying he couldn’t find the invoices. If I’ve ever heard a lame excuse....”

  “You have a good point, Katy. Mind if I suggest another way of looking at things?”

  “No,” she shrugged. “Go ahead.”

  “Okay, let me try. We have a long standing relationship with Super Health, and they’ve been slow-paying for the last month or so. Right so far?” She nodded. “Think of it as you would a family relationship. There’s been a misunderstanding with some angry words spoken. The question isn’t who’s right or wrong; it’s what do you do now? Let it fester? My experience is that even in families, that can create situations in which people who care about one another may not speak for years. On the other hand, if the person who spoke those words, no matter how justly, apologizes for the things he or she said, that facilitates a return to a normal relationship where problems can be worked out. Do you agree with that?”