by Bella, Sarah
"Not since you took her. No one else can replace her."He stomped his foot, every bit the petulant toddler. "Give her back."
I couldn't help the laughter bubbling up my throat. "She's not a plaything for you to take back."I closed the distance between us. "It's time for you to go. Edana doesn't want you here."At least, I was pretty sure Edana didn't want him there.
"Just let me see her, please?"His shoulders sagged as the fight left him. His angry eyes turned pleading, dark abysses in blood shot whites. He was far enough gone that the council wouldn't help – just leave him for the sun.
"It won't make a difference."As far as I could tell, he was transitioning from the second to the third stage of the Blood Sickness. Despair was the third and final stage. I'd always rationalized it was that way because anyone who made it that long with the Sickness couldn't fight the urge to face the dawn.
I felt Edana before I saw her; a shuffling behind me caught my attention. "Adrian."Edana stepped out of the aisle, features soft. "Cai's right. You need to go."
"No," he stabbed a bony finger her direction. "I need you. I need to feed."His eyebrows drew closer together, pain drawn on his face. He took two steps toward Edana, fingers twitching.
"Close enough."I shifted to the side, putting myself between them.
"It's fine, Cai. I'll deal with him."She sidestepped me and reached for Adrian.
"No."I whirled on him. "Get the fuck out. I've been nice long enough."I pushed his shoulder, moving him toward the door. He didn't bother to resist as I steered him roughly toward the exit.
"Cai."Her tone was not polite. "Get your hands off him."She pulled on my arm, yanking me away from him. "I said I'll do it."
I watched in stunned silence as she pushed passed me and guided Adrian carefully to the door, whispering in his ear as they walked. I picked up the occasional word, knew she was telling him to find someone new to feed from. Knew that my Mate was way too close to an unstable vampyre desperate for her blood.
As he left, she held the door, half in, half out of the building, her old life walking away. She stormed silently passed me, disappearing up the stairs to our apartment.
"Ooh, you're in trouble."Kitty's singsong voice distracted me from Edana's departure. One brow arched in her direction silenced her tittering. I sulked back to my shelf stocking. Jealousy was not one of my better traits, but it was a dominant one.
I emptied the box of vibrators onto the shelf and opened the next box – spreader bars. I walked to the next aisle and filled the shelf.
Edana would be in the bedroom, waiting for me to coming slinking in. If I took too long, she'd be in the bathroom, soaking in a tub full of lavender scented bubbles. If she finished the bath before I went upstairs, she'd lock the front door and go to bed without me.
I hated sleeping in the shop.
Knowing the registers were safe with Kitty up front, I made my way quietly to the stairs, hoping to sneak in before Edana heard me coming and locked the door. The narrow staircase loomed before me, longer than I remembered it being.
Silence greeted me from the living room when I walked in, the kind of silence that makes you afraid to be the one to break it. I shuffled across the small, tiled entry, kicked my shoes off and padded quietly to the bedroom door. Hand on the knob, I paused, listening for movement inside and praying for a little lenience. Gathering my courage, I twisted, found it unlocked and let myself in.
"Hey." My voice was a half-whisper, still afraid to be the one to end the tense silence. She sniffed, avoided my eyes and disappeared into the bathroom. I sighed and screwed up my mouth in frustration, following her as far as the doorway. "Babe?"I tried again.
She faced the mirror, hands in her hair, tension rolling off her in palpable waves. "Don't 'babe' me."Her response was garbled, the words distorted by the hairpins she was holding in her teeth. She tucked the last one into her hair and turned. "'Babe' is not going to fix this. We have a serious misfire in our relationship Cai."
"I just didn't want you to have to deal with the guy. I didn't want him to make you feel bad. He clearly had the Blood Sickness. You should have known better than to let him feed from you for so long."I shifted, filling the doorway, blocking her escape.
"I should have known better?"Her eyes grew wide and her fists clenched. "I should have known better?"
I scrambled mentally for a way to distract her from her anger. "Can we focus on the part where I said I was sorry and that I wasn't trying to be a jerk?"
She crossed her arms over her chest. "I must have missed your apology."Her lips pressed into a thin line.
"Sorry?"The weight of my mistake hung an anchor around my neck. The inches between us were impassable, blocked by my own stupid, impetuous nature.
She flung her arms in the air. "I know you weren't trying to be a jerk. That's the problem. You just are. You're bigger, better, faster, stronger. I need protecting from everything, right?I'm not a china doll, Cai."She ducked under my arm and slid out of the room.
"It's not that I think I'm better, or stronger. I just can't help myself; I have to protect you."I turned, leaning on the wall and crossing my arms over my chest. "I need for you to be safe."
"I am safe and I don't need protecting, Cai." She mirrored my crossed arms.
"I know. I know you don't."I wrung my hands, pacing back and forth in our small bedroom.
"But you do it anyway. Every time. I'm not going to live this way."She lifted her duffle bag from the floor. "This just isn't working for me. I can't stay with someone who doesn't see me as an equal."
My heart blocked my throat and I choked on my breath. "I do; I do. How can I prove it to you?"I stopped in the doorway, blocking her exit again. Edana leaving was not a possibility I could deal with.
She paused for a second, weighing her options. "Submit to me. Completely."
"I–" The words caught in my throat. Subbing was my least favorite thing. The loss of control made my toes curl. The thought of being completely at someone else's mercy, of having no say over my own being, twisted my stomach in ways most unpleasant.
My heart warred with my mind, with my sense of self. "I don't know–"
She cut me off. "Then I do."She lifted her bag again and walked to the door. "It would have been nice if you'd thought about this a few months ago."
I watched her walk away, watched the sway of her hips that had always tempted me so. Her hand on the front door spurred me into action. "Let me try," I croaked through my cottonmouth. "I can try. I want to try."
Her head turned slowly. "There is no trying, Cai, it's do or it's don't."
"It's do. It's always do, Edana. Please."I crossed half the room in a few strides and stopped impotently, not knowing what she would do.
CHAPTER 4
"Kneel."She dropped her bag and turned to me.
"What?"
"Kneel, now. And don't speak unless I give you permission."
I dropped to my knees, breathless and slightly terrified.
Edana transformed, no longer quiet seductive Edana, with her arms across her chest, and her shoulders thrust back. Her gaze didn't so much as touch me, let alone anything else. For a moment, the two of us remained silent then she closed the distance between us.
"Now strip."She set her hands on her hips.
"Now strip."
I whipped my shirt over my head and threw it clear of my body. The suddenness of bare skin combined with Edana standing above me sent a shock to my core. Getting naked was something I could do.
Getting naked, I was good at.
I rolled to my back, lifted my hips and stripped my jeans and underwear as quickly as I'd shed my shirt. Buck naked on the floor, I waited for direction.
Edana circled me slowly, staring hungrily. Her pupils dilated until the lavender all but disappeared, all hunger and dominance. I shifted, pushing myself upright, shielding myself from her gaze.
"Did I tell you to sit up?"
"No, I–"I twisted my head to better meet her eye to eye. Subbing w
as so much harder than I thought. Putting someone else's will ahead of my own went against my every impulse.
She held up a hand. "Did I give you permission to speak?"
"No, but–"
"I'll gag you."She pursedher lips.
"No, no gag."I shook my head, rolling to my knees.
She nodded. "A gag, and a collar, I'm thinking – to remind you of your place, of who's in charge just now."
I clamped my mouth shut, determined to avoid further punishment.
She winked and walked passed me, into the bedroom. "Stay."
Minutes passed, minutes that felt like hours, like weeks. My anxiety ratcheted up a notch with each tick of the clock. A swarm of hornets took up residence in my stomach. Sweat broke out on my brow, on my upper lip. It was all I could do to sit and wait.
To submit.
But if I couldn't handle this simple command, if I couldn't wait for her return, I was doomed to fail. So wait I would. Edana was a submissive to her core. I had no idea what was coming, no history to base my terror. Every tool and toy I'd ever used on a playmate flashed through my mind – the clips, the clamps, the whips.
The more creative options.
I stared at the wall in front of me, painted creamy yellow by my Mate. I tried to focus on each brush stroke, rather than the inevitable stroke of the impending flogger.
Finally, the bedroom door closed behind me. I smelled her – the anticipation, the exhilaration, the sweetness between her thighs. My mouth watered and I could only hope she'd make me go down on her.
It wasn't really submitting if I wanted to, I reasoned, but the train of thought that led me down was something I was entirely unprepared to consider at the moment. If I wasn't truly submitting, did that mean none of my subs had submitted either?I never truly did anything they didn't want me to. Did that then mean I had never actually dominated anyone?Never truly topped?
I shook my head and came face to face with Edana's favorite blood red ball gag. The smell of the leather and rubber filled my nostrils, consumed my senses. My cottonmouth returned and I retreated from her, clamped my mouth shut. My heart raced and thundered in my ears as Edana pried my jaw open and fitted the ball between my lips.
I choked and sputtered, gagging on the acrid rubber, convinced I was suffocating, half a second from tearing it out of my mouth when I caught Edana's eye. The slow rise and fall of her chest snapped me out of my panic and I took a deep, cleansing breath through my nose.
Edana tapped my back with her riding crop and I straightened instinctively. "I wasn't sure you could do it."
We locked eyes. "But I think this'll work nicely."
I breathed heavily through my nose, mouth salivating as it hung open. Buck naked in the living room, drooling around a ball gag. Add that to the list of places I never thought I'd be.
She reached behind her and came up with her collar. "You can borrow mine for tonight."
Chin held high, I froze in place as the cool leather closed tightly around my throat.
"You don't move unless I give you permission. Now I just have to decide what to do with you. I brought some tools."She pointed to the pile of leather and acrylic by her feet. "I was thinking the St. Andrew's cross would be a good place to start, but then I decided that I don't want to force your submission. I want you to give it to me willingly."
I nodded in understanding. Strapping me into the cross would only take a minute or two of my compliance. After that, I could rage all I wanted and short of the safe word, I wasn't going anywhere. She wanted me to remake my decision every time I took a breath.
It was the same thing I would have done.
"On your feet, love of mine."
I rose and turned to face her, eyes on the floor.
"I can't decide what to do with you first." She pushed at the pile of toys with her bare foot, spreading it out, letting me see what she'd chosen. "Let's see just how high your pain threshold is, yeah?"
My eyes widened when she pick up her favorite nipple clamps – the ones with the teeth – and reached for me. She pinched my nipple gently first, teasing and caressing. Her fingers crawled against my skin, puckering and tightening the sensitive flesh. The teeth of the first clamp yawned widely as she held it to me, closing abruptly.
I stifled a moan.
Again she pinched and twisted, petted and caressed my other nipple, closing her mouth over me and sucking. An ache developed in my clit as it begged for the same treatment.
She brushed her tongue against me and slipped the clamp on my nipple when my eyes were closed.
I couldn't suppress the moan and my eyes popped open.
She flicked the exposed tips with her fingernail, heightening the bite of the clamp. In one smooth movement, she twisted the tiny knob on the clamps, closing them tighter. Three quick rolls of her fingers sank metal teeth into me. She gave the chain between them a gentle tug.
I cried out at the shot of pain.
"Good. Nice and tight. Wouldn't want them slipping off." She tugged again, more roughly.
I bit down on the gag, silencing myself.
"Just wait until they've been on there a while. The pain fades, they start to feel good."She drew out the 'good' and winked at me. "And then when I take them off, you're going to want to die in the best possible way."
She leaned in, swiping her tongue over the tip of my nipple.
I sucked in a sharp breath, pleasure/pain coursing through me.
"Now that you're trussed up nicely, I need you to do something for me." She cocked and eyebrow and pointed at the pile of straps and rubbed at her feet. "Put that on."
I lifted the harness to my waist and reached for the buckle.
"Put it on me."She glared.
Realization dawned and I turned the strap-on around, nestling the vibrator over her clit and buckling the straps. "I'm really going to enjoy fucking you with this. But that won't happen until much, much later."
My pussy clenched at the thought, achingly empty. Not knowing what to do with my hands, I reached for her, tweaking her nipple. Her right arm shot out and brought the crop down on my left tit, smacking the clamp. I yelped and yanked my hand back. "I didn't give you permission to touch. That sounded like it hurt."She winked.
"I think we should move into the dining room. The table is just the perfect height, if I remember right."The table could only mean so many things and I wasn't sure I wanted any of them, or at least, I didn't want to be told that I wanted them.
Rooted in place, I disobeyed. The crop shot out faster than it had the first time, assaulting my other side and I covered my chest against further blows.
This was the reason she had chosen against the cross – wanting the decision to be mine. I chose her, walked into the dining room, spread my legs and bent myself over the table.
"What a pretty picture that is," she cooed. Her hips pressed against mine, the dildo nestled between my thighs. She bent over me, sliding her sweatslicked skin over me. "I like seeing you on display like this. Spread open and wanting. You need something in your pussy by now, don't you?You feel that ache, that empty, like you were made to be filled and you won't be whole until something is buried to the hilt inside you."
Her words sent a rush of expectation through me. My stomach clenched and my fingers scraped against the table.
She rubbed her hips against me, the dildo spreading my moisture over me, sliding against my opening, but never penetrating.
Suddenly she was gone, a cool rush of air in her place. The whistle of the crop as it flew through the air was my only notice of what was to come. The bite of slick leather on my bare ass made my knees buckle and I sagged against the table.
"That's not so bad, is it?"
Again, my mind rebelled against the thought of lying there while she wielded the crop. That crop belonged in my hand, against her ass, her thighs, her shoulders. The crop was mine, just like she was mine. I was halfway upright before I caught myself.
"It's not a game, Cai, it's for keeps."Her gentl
e reminder came a second after my chest hit the table again.
I nodded silently and gripped the edge of the table, a physical reminder of my purpose. The crop came down again, on the other cheek, pain singing down my legs. One blow to each of my thighs and the meaty backs of my shoulders came before I heard the crop hit the floor.
"I think you've earned a little reward."Her breath was hot on my skin, ghosting over my back.
Her fingers eased between my thighs, slipping easily inside me. Two fingers, and then a third twisted and curled, seeking out just the right place.
I pushed back into her hand when she found it, wanting more, harder.
She brushed gently, just enough sensation to let me know she was there, but never enough to satisfy.
I rode her fingers harder, rolling my hips, arching and pressing. Each time she withdrew, refusing my silent demand.
Her hand disappeared in a stomachdropping disappointment. "I don't think you've really fulfilled your end of the bargain yet, do you, Cai?"
I nodded vigorously, wanting nothing more than I wanted her fingers inside me again. I arched my hips, opening myself to her, in hopes of enticing her return.
"Nope," she said, popping the 'p'. "Not yet. We have so much more to look forward to. So many more fun things I brought out to play."
I pushed the ball out of the way with my tongue. "Fuck me?"
"Definitely not." The gentle slide of her feet away told me she probably went for more toys.
A second later, a warm finger pressed into my ass. Twisting slowly, curling and stretching. She eased it in and out several times before I felt something else nudge against me.
Something decidedly cool and smooth. It slid inside me easily, stretching me gradually, until I thought I would come from that alone. I felt the base press against me as the plug slid deep inside. The fullness in my ass only magnified the emptiness in my pussy, frustrating my aching clit even more.
Edana stepped between my thighs again, settling the strap-on against my pussy, base of the harness pushing against my plug. "Now we're going to make this extra fun."She set the remote for the vibrator on the table in front of my face and pushed the low button. She rutted against me, grinding the vibrator into her clit and my plug at the same time. The sensation shook me, my knees went weak and I cried out around my gag.
