“Yes, I did. And all that happened was sleeping. Thanks for the heads up by the way. Why didn’t anyone tell me he was still here? And sleeping in my special place?”
“That’s his story to tell. And you need to let him tell it. Someday soon you’re going to have to hear him out whether you’re ready to or not.”
Why did mothers have that intuition that all children hated them for having?
She was right, but that wouldn’t stop me from being stubborn until I couldn’t anymore.
My father came into the room so I didn’t have to reply. But she looked at me knowingly before she turned around to give him his thermos of coffee.
“Good morning, my beautiful girls. It’s so nice to wake up and see your beautiful faces.”
“Good morning, Daddy,” I said as I walked over and gave him a hug.
“That daddy stuff isn’t getting you out of today. But I’m glad to see that you’re up early and ready for a challenge.”
Ugh. Really? I thought batting my eyelashes at him would work. Guess not.
“But, Daddy.” I pouted like a toddler, poking my lip out to give the full affect.
“Not gonna work, baby girl. You’re mucking the stalls this morning. Now let’s get to work,” he said with a laugh as he patted me on the back and walked toward the door.
Just as he opened the door, Gentry and my brothers graced us with their presence.
They wore jeans and flannels with their boots.
I didn’t pay attention to my brothers much though.
It was Gentry who my eyes couldn’t move from.
Why did he have to make flannel look so damn sexy?
His were sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his black cowboy hat on. What I noticed most was the smile on his face that was apparently directed at me.
“Good morning, Lillian. Thanks for the coffee,” he said as he walked over to my mother and took the thermos from her hand, his eyes never once leaving mine.
“Good morning, beautiful. You ready for today?” he asked as he walked toward the door.
Sure I was. Just not ready to be in close proximity to him.
“Let’s get this show on the road,” I replied as I followed him through the glass-paned door.
I walked down the path behind him. The chill of the spring air blew around me, causing me to cross my arms over my body to try to shield some of the wind from going through my shirt.
Gentry opened the door to the barn I’d just left a little while before, holding it for me to enter.
I couldn’t wait to see Sparkle.
Standing in the doorway, I let out the special whistle I always used to greet her. I’d gotten her for my ninth birthday. A few months prior my daddy taught me how to whistle. Ever since the day I’d gotten her, I’d always whistle to let her know I was near. Hopefully, she hadn’t forgotten.
I’d gotten my answer just as I was going to whistle for the second time.
Her head peered out of the stall and she started pushing against the door, letting me know how excited she was to see me.
Before I could get started on anything, I had to give my beautiful girl some love.
I walked down the long aisle of stalls, each horse peeking their heads out ready to eat until I’d gotten to the last one on the left. Sparkle’s stall.
“Hi there, beautiful. Did you miss me?” I said as I ran my fingers through her mane.
She pushed her head in my hand for me to continue, giving me my answer.
“I missed you too, Sparkle,” I laughed as she continued to seek my attention.
I ran my fingers across the star shaped white spot in the center of her eyes. Hence the reason for the name. I thought of the sparkling stars of the night sky the second I saw her, and I just knew her name would resemble them. At the mere age of nine, I’d met my best friend. There was nothing better in my eyes than just a girl and her horse spending time together. Later in life, I learned that there was more a girl needed. She’d need a flannel shirt and her horse. Oh, and her other best friend. He couldn’t be forgotten.
“Alright, girl. I’ve gotta get started before I get in trouble. I’ll be back later to love on you some more,” I told her. Before I walked away, I kissed the spot where her star shape was.
Grumbling under my breath, I picked up the shovel and started my day.
A couple hours later, my shoulder and back were feeling the effects of the strenuous work I’d preformed.
I stopped for a moment and rubbed a kink out of my neck.
“You shouldn’t be slacking on the job. That’ll get you in trouble with your old man,” I heard from behind me, causing me to let out a shriek and fall backward. Into the pile of straw and manure that was in the wheel barrel behind me.
“Oh shit. Damn, sweetheart. A man could get used to you falling all over him, but I’d say you’d have to shower first,” Gentry said as he laughed with his hand held out to help me out of the pile of shit I currently resided on.
He had to fucking stop doing that.
I wasn’t one of those girls who cared how dirty I got. The muddier the better in my opinion. I loved going out on four-wheelers and playing in the mud with the rest of them. Being in a pile of shit, though. That I had a problem with. It also led me to think of a way to get back at him.
Putting my hands behind me, I grabbed a pile of straw-covered shit and threw it at him.
He deserved it.
Of course, he dodged it. The asshole.
But it made me feel better by throwing it.
“I’m not falling all over you, asshole. I’m falling because of you. There’s a huge fucking difference. I may need a cushion permanently attached to my ass before all is said and done at this rate,” I shouted as I reached for his hand.
He helped me stand with a hint of laughter still coming off him.
I’d get him back. Eventually.
“I need a shower. Now if you’ll excuse me.”
“Are you sure you need that right now? You’re not quite done yet. There’s still the stable on the other side of the property that needs to be done.”
They all thought this was fucking funny. Me, not so much.
“Fine. I’ll get back to it. After I wash my damn hands.”
“You’ve grown a potty mouth since you’ve been gone. I don’t know whether to be turned on or offended.”
“If I were you, I’d be offended. I’m doing nothing to turn you on ever again,” I replied as I stalked away from him in the direction of the sink. I wasn’t backing down from a challenge. All the stalls needed to be cleaned. I’d do it and do it well. I knew they were doing this for payback at me for leaving. Challenge accepted.
By nine in the morning, I was completely exhausted. But all the stalls were freshly cleaned and had new hay put in them. Riding the four-wheeler to my parents’ house, I enjoyed the wind in my hair as it allowed me to cool off. It would take days for me to feel clean with the amount of sweat that my body produced.
Rounding the corner of the barn, I slowed down and stopped.
Gentry stood there on the side of the barn. Shirtless. With a water hose. My body betrayed me at the sight of him with the water streaming down his body as he rinsed himself off.
Damn him and his sexy body.
I put the four-wheeler in its rightful place trying to forget what I had just seen.
Except there he still stood when I came from parking.
With drops of water still cascading down his perfectly sculpted abs. I counted an eight pack at least. Holy shit.
Abort.
I screamed at myself, but my body remained rooted to the spot.
He looked over at me, catching me yet again staring at him.
Fuck my life.
He wasn’t going to let me live this down.
He walked toward me with a devilish grin on his face. I stepped backward trying to move away from him. My back met the side of the barn just as he stood in front of me. He caged me in with both of his arms on either si
de of my head.
Looking down so I didn’t have to look him in the eye and admit I was checking him out, I saw the ink his skin now held.
Her name sat there etched in beautiful script right above his right peck. Tears immediately filled my eyes at the heartwarming gesture that he made to have a piece of her permanently placed on his body. My hand moved of its own volition. I placed my fingers right above where the ink sat. Only then did I look into his eyes to gain his permission.
He nodded, and I placed my shaking fingers upon his still wet skin. Ever so slowly I traced the nickname that we’d given her on his skin. Over and over my fingers moved across the black lines as the tears flowed down my cheeks.
“I’d never forget her, beautiful. Not ever,” he whispered as he pulled me into him to comfort me yet again.
I wrapped my arms behind his back and held onto him for dear life.
I knew we needed to talk. Probably before tomorrow when my friends arrived. But I wasn’t ready. Soon. We’d have the conversation we should’ve had four years ago.
“Whenever you need me, I’m here. I hope you’ll remember that,” he promised. I nodded into his shoulder as I begged the tears to subside.
I missed her. So much so that it consumed me while I was here. I was a coward. I ran because I couldn’t deal. And my poor, sweet Gentry had to pay the price. He had to suffer and heal all alone, while I ran and tried to forget my pain.
CHAPTER 8
Gentry
F eeling her unfold in my arms at the sight of my tattoo tore at my insides. I hated seeing her tears. Especially since they were caused by a nickname of someone we held so dear to our hearts. It also tore me up inside because she thought I’d dealt with my grief. Only I hadn’t. I focused more on the emotions I felt instead of the loss. Over time, I dealt with it the only way I knew how. Work. I came in every day on a mission. To get so exhausted I couldn’t think. Sawyer and her brothers knew better than to stop me. They let me stay long after they left. I thought it was also because none of them knew what to say. I lost someone near and dear to us along with losing the young woman I loved.
When she pulled away from me and turned toward the house, I let her go.
I watched her walk to her family home with her head hung in defeat.
Her emotions were on even more of a high alert, and she needed this time for herself.
Pulling out my phone, I sent out a group text to let everyone know I thought it was best for Ainsleigh to be done for the day. Once I explained my reasoning, they all agreed I was right.
Putting my shirt back on, I went out and finished my tasks. Her brothers were out on excursions with some of the residents. During hunting season, more men would arrive to hunt the big game here. During these months, we saw more families than anything else. Teaching a child the joys of riding a horse brought all of us joy. We wanted the younger generation to gain a love for riding the way we’d all grown up. Seeing this family succeed in that made me feel whole. They were all amazing people. Especially for letting me in. An outsider. A part of the family feud they’d lived with for generations. But they put that feud aside for their daughter and me. Even after she left, they still made me feel welcome.
Right before the sun set, I put up the horse I’d used to check the fencing across the grounds, making sure to brush him before I left him for the day.
Entering the Courtright home, I noticed Lillian was cleaning up the dishes from dinner, with Ainsleigh nowhere in sight.
“I put your plate in the microwave. I can heat it up for you in a second,” she said with a worried expression on her face.
“You don’t need to do that. I’ll do it in a minute. What’s the matter?”
I knew it had something to do with the woman who still held my heart in her hands.
She let out a breath as she placed the plates on the counter by the sink.
“I’m worried about her. She puts on this brave front, but I know it’s a façade. I almost wish I hadn’t insisted she come home after graduation. I was selfish in wanting my baby girl home. Being here is taking a horrible toll on her.”
“She needed to come home. She couldn’t run forever. I for one am thankful you brought her back here.”
“Go easy on her, Gentry. She’s more fragile than I feared. I should’ve known she hadn’t taken my advice and sought help while she was away. She refused for us to even mention her—or you, for that matter—while she was away. I just thought it was because she needed time. It’s apparent to me now that she needed far more than that.”
“I won’t hurt her, Lillian. I’m helping her the only way I know how. Hopefully, it’s the right way. She’s leaned on me a few times since last night. I’m going to take that as a good sign. I have a plan,” I confessed. Her mother had always been so easy to talk to. My secrets and fears always fell off my tongue before I even realized I’d let them out when I was around her.
“I trust your judgment. Don’t make me regret saying that. And please don’t break her any more than she already is. I don’t know if she’ll come back from it,” she pleaded with tear-filled eyes.
“I promise I won’t do anything to hurt her. I love her.”
“I know you do, son. That’s why you’re still here. I know your love runs deep for my precious baby girl. I don’t always understand it. The only way I coped with y’all falling so hard for each other was remembering the way I’d felt about her father at such a young age. Love like the two of you have is rare, and I hope for both of your sakes you can find a way back to each other.”
“Is she upstairs in her room? I want to check on her after earlier.”
“She left after she picked at her dinner. She barely ate a thing.”
“Where did she go?”
She didn’t have to say. I already knew where she’d gone.
The tree.
I would’ve left without eating, but her mother insisted I get some nourishment before I collapsed.
I don’t think I tasted the spaghetti she heated up for me after I insisted on doing it myself.
My main mission right now was getting to her.
I was playing with fire by not giving her space, but I could handle getting burned if she found her way back to me.
CHAPTER 9
Ainsleigh
A fter dinner, I had to leave. I couldn’t remain in that house with her so heavy in my mind. I changed into a tank top and shorts. After I put on my tennis shoes and grabbed my phone, I set off to the one place I knew I could go to think.
The tree.
A place we all often came to think. The mountains were behind me. The sunset from up here was always amazing.
Leaning against the sturdy bark, I let my head fall on the tree, and my eyes closed just so I could be. No one here to question how I was feeling. No one to pretend in front of. I could kick, scream, cry and no one would ever find out.
Instead of riding Sparkle, I walked the two-mile hike to try to clear my head before I arrived. I failed. My thoughts were more rampant than ever. Seeing her name on his flesh broke more of my heart. That reminder sent my mind racing and the tears falling faster than they ever had before. I hadn’t spoken or written her name since before I left. Unless I said it within the confines of my own mind. I did that on a daily basis. The second I woke her name was at the forefront of my mind. It wasn’t until I got to moving around and filling my day to keep me busy that my thoughts drifted to what I was doing. That was why I hardly ever sat still at home. If I wasn’t working, I was studying. If I wasn’t studying, Dylan and Aspen were there to occupy me. I hated being alone. That was when every memory came flooding back to me, and I broke down.
The crunching of grass broke me out of my thoughts. I lifted my head off the tree and placed my hand over my eyes to block them from the setting sun to see who dared come up here.
Gentry.
When would he leave well enough alone?
Couldn’t he tell I was trying to keep my distance?
Probably
not.
All because every time I broke down he was there for me to lean on. I needed to figure out the best way to lean on myself and heal. Without him there. But apparently, he wasn’t having it.
“Any confessions today?”
We called it the confession tree for a reason.
“No,” I bluntly stated, turning away from him and trying to give him a hint to leave.
He didn’t get the memo.
Instead, he sat down beside me.
Why couldn’t he leave well enough alone?
“I’m not in the mood, Gentry.”
“In the mood for what exactly?”
Was he really that dense?
“For you to be here.”
“Why is that?”
“Because I can’t handle the way I feel right now with you around,” I confessed harshly. It was probably the only way to get him to leave.
“I’m sorry you feel that way, but I’m not leaving. You shouldn’t be alone to wallow in your own thoughts. This is our grief to share,” he replied as he moved closer behind me.
He pulled me in between his outstretched, jean-covered legs. He still wore the same outfit he had on earlier in the day when I’d seen him.
I shouldn’t have let him move me.
But I didn’t have the energy or the strength to push him away.
My mind was spent.
Done with all the emotions coursing through me.
“Talk to me, beautiful.”
I knew what he referred to when he made that demand, but I couldn’t.
“Why are you still here, Gentry?”
“This is my home.”
His response shocked me to the point that I turned around to face him.
“But why? You could’ve gone home after I left. I’m sure your parents were happy we weren’t together anymore.”
“Oh, they were. They couldn’t have been happier if they tried. They said things. Horrible words that I couldn’t forgive them for. So I left without looking back. I ended up crashing on a friend’s couch for about a week before your dad found out. He wouldn’t have it. He was pissed at the way my parents treated me and made me come home with him. I’ve been working and living here ever since.”
Bring Me Back Here Page 4
