“Can we be puttin’ up a whole family again fer Halloween?”
The previous year, Terry had worked hard to install three lit pumpkins in the window — a small one, a medium sized one, and a great big one, just like in Goldilocks and the Three Bears.
“Don’t see why not.”
“Dat was right nice, eh?”
Then the word had gone out to all the residents of the lofts to put a pumpkin in every one of the building’s large windows, which had enhanced the stature of the building and created a festive mood throughout the neighbourhood. Families came from as far away as Dieppe and Riverview to admire the collective effort.
“Yes, ’twas beautiful!”
. . .
. . .
“Mum, could we be cuttin’ our pumpkins like Madeleine did dis time?”
“Madeleine’s an artist. She knows wot to do to give de pumpkin more of an expression.”
“Is it troo dat she’s got a special knife?”
“I don’t know. Could be.”
Carmen wondered what a special knife for the artistic carving of pumpkins might look like.
“Dat’s wot Dad said.”
Carmen felt like laughing; she imagined that Terry had probably invented the special knife to moderate Étienne’s aesthetic expectations.
“Takes imagination as well, not only a special knife.”
Étienne seemed to be in agreement. He watched the field of pumpkins slowly disappear:
“Could someting be inventin’ itself?”
1012.106.8
Customs
The fragment 1011.7.1 on the writing of Chiac may have come too late, not to mention its limited relevance to the translation.
1013.93.9
Time
“Any other questions?”
A hand went up.
“Me, I’ve an idea dat runs ’round in me head a lot of de time, an’ I wonders like, is it an’ obsession.”
“Can you tell us what it is?”
“Sure! Like dey says, ‘mix a bit o’ business wid pleasure,’ right?’
“Absolutely.”
“Well, I often tinks o’ mixin’ business wid pleasure.”
“For example?”
“Well, in airplanes, de bags fer trowin’ up in. Dey oughtta write on dem ‘Address Unknown.’ Dat way ’twould be sometin’ we could return to sender.”
“Friggin’ right!”
“Awh, grõwse*!”
* Chiac can also improve the spelling of English words that are not pronounced as they’re written.
1016.143.7
Varia
“Dat’s not an obsession, dat’s a fantasy.”
“Dream on.”
“Class, please! Please!”
1014.141.8
Obsessions
Third possible title: Small Amusing Betrayals. Referring to those minor aspects of life that come unravelled, or ravelled and escape our control. Thinking here also of Étienne, Marianne, and Chico, of all children really, of the universal child. And thinking, too, of words, when they betray us. But the children in this book are not really betrayers.
1015.81.3
Titles
Do you know anyone who’s suffered health problems after eating a decaying onion?
1017.38.12
Onions
A book, picked up in passing, more for its appearance than anything, a handsome antique look. On closer examination, the book’s subject and author are intriguing. A name we recognize, often encountered, but never read. A book to read in your spare time, or at least to leaf through. What’s more, the book is pleasant to hold. How much better to be placed on a bookshelf in someone’s library, modest though that library may be, than to end up in one cardboard box among many in a dusty junk closet, in a box someone fully intends to sort through some day, a day that never comes. A book, then, snatched up in passing, after decades of wandering: Michelet, Précis de l’histoire moderne.
1018.84.1
History
Alphabits, also. . .
What other kinds do you like?
Those well-read primates.
1019.55.9
Haikus
Seen from behind: a classic look, not flashy, black leather with five nerves and gold lettering. At the very bottom, slightly worn away, the numbers 1-8-5-0.
1020.84.2
History
Jar covers, cans. Aluminum plates (and other utensils). Nails, useless screws, plumbing scraps. Metal wire. Steel wool. Old grater. Trombones. Dishes, grills, camping pots and pans. Broken folding chairs (aluminum). Old toaster. Ornaments. Odds and ends.
1021.42.10
Sorting
“Do you know de tent nation?”
Le Grand Zablonski thought Étienne was perhaps alluding to tint saturation. He fetched a tube of solid red and one of white.
“Look at this bright red colour. Now I squeeze a bit of white and mix them, see how it changes to pink? We’ve created a lighter tint of red. Is that what you mean?”
“No, ’tisn’t a colour, ’tis a place yer not supposed to go.”
Étienne Zablonski thought perhaps the boy had been watching the news.
“You mean a refugee camp? Like in the news?”
Étienne shook his head.
“No, not in the news. In the prayer.”
Zablonski really had no idea.
“No, I don’t know any tent nation in a prayer.”
1022.124.3
Religion
Not forgetting the Love Canal in New York State, the Cape of Good Hope in South Africa, Lake Constance on the borders between Switzerland and Germany, the Pacific Ocean Loyal, a small town in Wisconsin, and Lac des Pises in France, since to despise is a facet of love rather than its opposite.
1023.66.8
The Virtues
“Good evening, everyone and thank you for coming in such great numbers. I dare say the task before us is of Herculean proportion, which is why we will need all your ideas and all your linguistic talents if we are to succeed. And, let’s be frank, we will also need nerves of steel, because creating a modern Acadian language on the basis of its present-day componants will be no picnic. But nothing prevents us from undertaking our task with joyful ardour and wacky courage, since . . .”
1024.73.4
Shifts
Cleaning products. Lighters. Aerosol cans. Oils (inedible), paint strippers, and varnish removers. Paints and dyes. Glue. Nail polish. Colouring (hair). Insecticides. Thermometers (mercury). Anti-flea spray. Antifreeze. Empty propane gas tanks. Wax (old candles). Pool products. Obsolete computers (diskettes?). Broken electronic games. Birthday cards containing batteries. Batteries (rechargeable and non-rechargeable). Old television set. Large appliances (toxic liquids and gases).
1025.42.3
Sorting
“We’re gonna adopt anglicisms?”
“Ee said adapt, not adopt. Adapt anglicisms.”
“Awh.”
1026.104.4
Worries
In the field of kitchenware, the French word fusil, which also means “rifle,” is a steel knife sharpener that resembles a sword.
1027.111.9
Tools
“It hurts when I press ’ere, eh?”
Little Marianne looked at the woman bent over in front of her. Her name was Marie-Josée, and she’d hardly pressed at all.
“An der? Hurts a wee bit more?”
Marianne nodded yes. After all, Marie-Josée was being so nice and wouldn’t stop smiling.
“Poor little darlin’! You musta had a fright when you fell, eh?”
When it happened, Marianne had felt
neither fear nor much pain. All wrapped up in her Halloween onion costume, she’d tumbled down the steps of the wooden staircase, almost in slow motion and soundlessly. It was the great ree-raw that followed that had started her crying. But how was she supposed to explain all that? Carmen replied in her stead:
“Less than her mudder, I tink! I’m telling you, I go to bed at night and I see de whole scene all over again in slow motion. I can’t believe she didn’t suffer anything serious.”
Marie-Josée was not lacking in compassion for Carmen either.
“Sure, I can imagine how you must’ve felt!”
“An’ to think, I went all the way up dose staird wid ’er, to be sure she’d not be fallin’!”
Marie-Josée sympathized with a shake and a nod of the head.
“Fer us, ’twas when we lost our girl in Disneyworld . . .”
Hearing this, Carmen felt her heart and stomach tighten into knots.
“I’s so afraid I can barely talk about it to this day.”
Now it was Carmen’s turn to sympathize as she listened to the chiropractor describe her misadventure. In the end, the two women tried to laugh off their maternal traumas and returned to Marianne’s case:
“You were right to bring ’er. It’s always best to be sure. If she does ’ave a problem, ’tis a whole lot easier and quicker to treat now dan later. Most people only worry ’bout the head. Dey don’t tink ’bout the back bone.”
“I wasn’t sure if you could treat children dat young.”
“Awh, sure we do, a lot. ‘Specially fer de colic, ear infections . . . tings like dat.”
“Her ears hurt, too, some o’ de time.”
Carmen smiled at Marianne, who allowed herself to be handled without complaining.
“Hop! Did you feel dat?”
Marianne smiled. Yes, she’d felt something, but it was mainly the contorsions that Marie-Josée was making her do that were funny.
“Nowadays, we even treat animals. Cats, dogs, horses, even rabbits! Don’t be askin’ me who’d bring a rabbit to a chiro.”
Carmen was thinking about the horse:
“Well, must take a shockin’ great chiro to crack de back of a horse.”
But Marie-Josée did not reply. She was totally absorbed in feeling Marianne’s neck and turning her head back and forth.
“Awh! Der’s a wee bit o’ sometin’ over ’ere. I’ll need me gun.”
1028.87.5
The Body
A glass of wine = a cluster of grapes = 75 grapes. In 2006, 267 c/s of Red Bull were sold. The pit of a date is made of hardened albumen. A kilometre on foot: 12 minutes; a kilometre by bicycle: 3 minutes. Shirt cuffs begin to fray after approximatley 60 washes. There are 88 gods in a grain of rice. The useful life of a plastic bag is 20 minutes. The moon rises at 109 km/s. The human being learned to read a mere 3,000 years ago.
1029.42.6
Sorting
Easy to pick up, fits comfortably in the hand. The weight surprises considering how thin it is. A robust cardboard cover, a book made to last. Perhaps a schoolboy or girl’s book. On the top and bottom boards a speckled medium brown dominates a paler brown background, with touches of pink. Inside the cover, a surprisingly motley flyleaf, which is perhaps suitable. The edge is smooth, sand-couloured, and subtley luminescent. The inferior endband has lost almost none of its symmetry or gilt.
1030.84.3
History
Étienne, on the other hand, absolutely refused to dress up as a vegetable.
1031.88.4
Freedom
“Well, ’ow are we gonna do dat, den? Are we just gonna be talkin’, an’ whenever we runs up against an Acadian word, we stops to see wot we’s gonna do wid it, or de udder way, we starts wid A an’ we goes troo de whole of de dictionary ’till we gets to Z?”
“Alphabetical order would probably be best, but using which dictionary? I believe that’s a valid question.”
“Alphabetical order! Dat’s de word I was lookin’ fer . . .”
1032.103.7
Disappearances
In a list in a small notebook whose pale green cover is bound by a metal spiral across the top: so what que, so what si que, how come que, what if que, whenever que, whatever que, wherever que, whoever que, si ever que, as long que, never mind que, which que. The last two annotations are not in the same ink as the others.
1033.67.3
Terry’s Notebooks
Étienne continued his inquiries on the subject of the tent nation. He questioned Ludmilla on the subject one day as he was turning the pages of Babar’s Castle in his godmother’s office:
“Auntie, does you know wot de tent nation is?”
“Tenth nation?”
Ludmilla wondered, as her husband had previously, if her godson might have been listening to the international news.
“No, de tent nation, in prayer. Der a nation, an’ dey lives in a tent. An’ we don’t want to go der.”
Ludmilla could not think of any prayer that mentioned tents, unless it was an old Jewish prayer she didn’t know.
1034.92.8
Questions without Answers
“Is it a prayer to Moses?”
“No.”
Étienne did not pursue it any further; he turned another large page.
A principle of constance exists also in pyschoanalysis.
1035.66.11
The Virtues
“Are you tellin’ me dat dey were mastermindin’ de whole ting to make it ’appen widout anybody knowin’ dat dey masterminded it?”
1036.92.5
Questions without Answers
The list of automatic corrections for common errors in Spanish (modern Spanish) is not available. The component is not installed. Do you want to install it now? Yes. No.
1037.112.6
Languages
Étienne had occasionally accompanied his Granny Thibodeau in her Stations of the Cross in the church at Dieppe. Most of the time, she took the trouble to explain to the boy what was happening to Jesus.
“’Ere Veronica’s wipin’ his face on account o’ de blood dat’s flowin’ down. Does you see ’is blood runnin’ down?”
“From ’is nose?”
“From all over, on account o’ de crown o’ thorns.”
While his grandmother recited her prayers in a low voice and moving her lips, Étienne looked at the imposing stain glass windows depicting the story of a nun receiving roses. He also liked to run his fingers in the crevasses of the sculpted rosettes that decorated the wooden benches.
1038.124.4
Religion
“’Ere, ee falls fer de second time.”
Just as there are propane hogs that are strictly speaking salamanders.
1039.65.11
Boy Cousins, Girl Cousins
“Dad, how come dey kilt Jesus?”
“On account of he was too clever fer dem.”
. . .
. . .
“Who was it built ’is cross, den?”
“Awh, a carpenter from around dose parts, most likely.”
. . .
. . .
“Do we got crowns o’ thorns ’round ’ere?”
“If we do, I never seen any.”
. . .
. . .
“How come dey put a diaper on ’im?”
“Well, dey couldn’t leave ’im bare naked, could dey. An’, to shame ’im, I suppose.”
. . .
. . .
“Was ee cold?”
“Dat’s not a country where it’s cold most o’ de time.”
. . .
. . .
“Are you afeard of de tent nation?”
&nbs
p; “Afraid o’ who?”
“De tent nation.”
Terry put his newspaper down.
“Whose nation?”
“De tent nation. Granny says it in ’er prayers.”
“Granny says dat? Tent nation?”
“Yes. An’ lead us not into tent nation.”
1040.124.5
Religion
Scrap paper, brand new paper. Memo pad (recycled). Newspapers, flyers, magazines. Useful cardboard, useless cardboard. Egg cartons. Tim Hortons cartons. Special little cards (drawings, birthday wishes). Wrapping paper, Christmas wrapping. Brown paper bags. Shopping bags with handles. Paper for shredding. Carbon paper. Wax paper. Post-its. Stickers. Recyclable envelopes. Notebooks. Construction paper. Newspaper for papier-mâché. Lousy books. Catalogues.
1041.42.1
Sorting
The cover cracks as you open it, demands attention, demands special care. The first page, the bastard title page, reads:
PRÉCIS
de
L’HISTOIRE MODERNE
And on the verso, in uneven print quality:
~~~
PARIS — IMPRIMERIE BONAVENTURE ET DUCESSOIS
55, quai des Grands-Augustins
~~~
Poor feng shui can make (reveille — reverie) difficult. The Freudian slip here involves no more than the addition of the r and dropping the ll, causing no shift in chromatic range. In French (le réveil — le rêve) the slip involves more: the erasure of the i, the only colour, red, differentiating the two words. Coincidence?
1043.17.5
Coincidences
“Listen to dis one: ‘Life is a complicatedness; I have decided to spend my life in thinking about it.’”
Zed’s curiosity was piqued. Terry elaborated:
“Ee was twenty-three years old when ee’s writin’ dat.”
Zed seemed to think about it for a moment.
“So den . . . complicatedness, dat’s a real word?”
Terry replied, even as he continued to leaf through the pages:
For Sure Page 43
