Julian kneeled down beside her and took her hands in his. "That wasn't your fault, Kitten. It was his."
She lowered her eyes, her lashes sweeping her cheeks. "Perhaps it was all of ours. I could have spoken up when he treated me poorly, but I didn't. Just as I should have spoken up when the new earl and his wife attempted to rid Hollywell of its holly, saying the plant was old-fashioned and not in vogue at the moment."
"Your family, even your extended one, consists of nothing but idiots." Julian reached out to stoke Catherine's face and he was inordinately pleased when she turned her cheek into the palm of his hand as if seeking out his comfort. "They care only about age and appearance. They do not value what truly matters."
"Do you, Julian? Do you value what truly matters?" Catherine snuggled deeper into his caress and then reached out her own hand to brush his cheek with her fingertips. As she had removed her glove to touch the holly, her fingers were bare and her caress so light that it felt like butterfly wings. Instantly, the desire he had successfully kept at bay for the better part of the day roared back to life.
"I would like to think that I do," he whispered as he drew her to her feet. "Come with me, Kitten. Please." His gaze strayed to a spiraling staircase that led to the second floor, just outside the master suite of rooms. Julian knew very well that Catherine was aware of where that stairway led. And what she would be agreeing to if she allowed him to escort her up it.
Rising, Catherine's face shone with a mix of longing and fear. "Take me, Julian. Teach me. I wish to know everything. All of it, no matter how terrifying."
Grasping her hand, he slowly led her towards the staircase - and what waited above. "With pleasure, Kitten. With pleasure."
Chapter Six
Catherine was afraid. She could not really pretend otherwise as Julian closed the door to his chambers behind them and locked it so that no inquisitive servant would interrupt them. Oh, she knew that Julian would not hurt her. He was not that kind of man. However, she was afraid of herself, of how Julian would make her feel and the things she would feel for him. For even though they had only just met, there was a part of her that was coming to enjoy the woman she was in his presence. And that, perhaps more than anything, did more than frighten her. It terrified her.
When she was with Julian, Catherine didn't feel old or worthless or that she had nothing to offer anyone as she had for so long. Rather she felt vivacious and alive, as if she had value and worth - feelings and emotions that had been missing in her life for so long. She did not believe that she was in love with Julian. It was far too soon for that sort of thing, and she was intelligent enough to know that, when he did choose a wife, it would be to a young debutante his own age who did not have one deceased husband in her past. Yet she could not deny that she felt something for him. Not that she would ever allow him to see those emotions, of course. She desired his body, not his pity.
Catherine had felt this peculiar sensation growing deep inside of her as she had followed Julian up the ornately carved staircase, the one reserved for the private use of the master and mistress of Hollywell. She had little experience with emotions such as these but whatever she was feeling just now was powerful, so powerful that it threatened to overwhelm her.
This wasn't real. She continued to whisper that mantra to herself in her mind as she trailed behind him, her body coming alive at the idea of finally coupling with a man. Or rather, coupling with Julian. She would be lying if she said that she had not thought about this moment. Dreamed of it. She had, in fact, been thinking of what this would be like from almost the very first moment that she laid eyes upon him, and she was still just as afraid now as she had been then.
"You are exquisite," Julian whispered as he came up behind her, placing his hands lightly on her shoulders and pulling her from her thoughts. "Strong and powerful, yet delightfully soft and curved in all of the right places. Just as a woman should be." He placed a kiss to the back of Catherine's neck. "Never forget that." Then another kiss, this one different than the first as she felt the light brush of his tongue along the column of her spine.
"I...I won't." Catherine could not find her breath while he was so near her. "Julian, I..." She stopped when he lightly grasped her upper arms and turned her in his embrace.
"You are frightened. Of what we are about to do. Is that it?" In the dim light of his room, Julian's eyes glowed like emerald embers, twin orbs of light so pure and true that it almost hurt to look at him.
Catherine licked her lips and was conscious of how his gaze was drawn there. "Something like that. I am no innocent, but as I have said, I am not precisely skilled in bedsport either."
Pulling her close, Julian slid the pads of his thumbs over the edges of her collarbone at the base of her throat. Until that moment, Catherine had no idea how deliciously erotic such a simple caress could feel.
"It does not matter," he whispered as he dipped his head low, allowing his tongue to dance across the small indentation between his thumbs. "I am a patient man, Kitten, and you, I think, a willing student. You will be worth the wait."
"How do you know?" Catherine gasped and arched her neck as Julian continued his exploration of her throat, the tip of his tongue dancing lightly over the smooth column of flesh, tangling briefly with the garnets until he reached up and removed her necklace.
She felt him smile against her skin as he answered. "I just do."
Catherine felt the cold slide of the precious stones down over her shoulders and across her back as he pulled the necklace away from her skin to place it on a nearby table. Then he turned her in his arms once again and continued to kiss and caress her back, his lips and tongue dancing an erotic path over her bare skin. When he finally reached the top of her corset that peeped just above the back of her gown, she felt his breath, hot and sultry upon her skin.
"I wish to see you." His words were so soft that for a moment, Catherine wondered if she had imagined them. "May I?"
"Only if I can see you in return." She had no idea where this brazen behavior had come from. It was not like her. She had desired to see a naked man before, of course, but she never had. Nor had she thought she ever would. Now, she had her chance. With Julian. Even though a part of her feared that once she saw him, she would likely never wish to see another. For who could possibly compare? She doubted that there was another man alive who could, if what she suspected was true.
Catherine felt Julian smile again and this time, he chuckled a little as well. "I would not dream of depriving you of anything you desire, Kitten. You shall see me before the night is over. I promise. You will be able to touch and tease as you like. And if you are uncertain what to do? I shall teach you what I like. How to please me. Will that suffice?"
"You know that it will." Catherine was certain that Julian knew everything about her in this moment. She was open to him in a way that she had never been to another - and they had only just now begun this timeless dance of love and mating.
She felt his fingers dance down the length of her spine, their rough tips an indication that here was a man not afraid to work or to get his hands dirty. Crossbury had only touched her once, perhaps twice, but his smooth fingers had left her cold. So unlike Julian's caresses that made her body heat from within.
"So lovely. So perfect. So mine." Julian uttered those words like a prayer and then, Catherine felt the laces of her corset loosen.
She could not help herself. She moaned softly, the sound echoing through the room. When she felt the laces of her gown follow, she whimpered, each touch of his fingers bringing more longing than the last. She felt the silk of the burgundy gown slide away from her skin ever so slowly, the fabric start to slither down her arms to rest in the crooks of her elbows as warm air brushed against her already overheated skin.
The room was hot, the fire burning so brightly in the grate that it was almost daylight. It reminded her of the previous summer, when the heat in London had been all but unbearable and she had ventured out into her garden in the moonlight
for some relief. There, she had stumbled upon a housemaid and a footman engaged in amorous activities. She hadn't watched, but she had caught enough of a glimpse to know what they were about, the man behind the woman, clutching her tightly to him, their bodies arched together in pleasure and passion.
That night had been the beginning of the end for Catherine. It had marked the end of her contentment with her old life and the beginning of the flame that still grew inside of her even now, longing for something new. She wanted what those two servants had shared and she wanted it badly. So badly that she all but ached inside. Now, Julian was giving her a taste of that sort of passion. It would end, of course. All good things did. But not now. Not tonight. For tonight, she was his and he was hers.
"More," she whimpered as he continued to slowly undo the laces of her gown and corset. "Please, Julian. I need more."
She felt him sink to his knees behind her before lightly kissing the base of her spine as he peeled the silk from her body and allowed it to fall in a pool at her feet. "Eager, aren't you, Kitten?" She felt his large hands splay over the thin fabric of her chemise, the last bit of fabric between her skin and his. She had even forgone her drawers and the rest of her undergarments tonight in anticipation of this very moment.
"I need you." She knew her words were a desperate plea, but she did not care. "I need you, Julian. You have no idea how much."
"Oh, I think that I have some idea." Slowly he turned her around within his embrace and she about blushed when she realized that his face was nearly level with her most intimate of areas. "For I need you as well, Catherine. No. I burn for you."
Then he reached up and, with her help, peeled away the thin fabric of her chemise until she was bared to him completely. "Exquisite. Just as I knew you would be." His words were hushed as he rose to his feet.
"Now you." Catherine knew she should be embarrassed. Before now, she had never been naked in front of a man. Even when Crossbury had bedded her, she had kept her long woolen nightrail on at all times. Often her drawers as well.
Julian grinned down at her. "As you like. Would you like to do the honors or should I?"
"I...will help." Catherine was still afraid, and did not think she could undress Julian on her own. Actually, she wasn't even certain that she knew how to undress him. But she could learn. And after tonight? Well, the next time she could do it on her own.
With a grin, Julian reached up and undid his cravat, followed by his evening jacket and his waistcoat. Next came his shirt, but Catherine helped with that, her fingers fumbling with the buttons of the fine lawn shirt until she was able to strip away the fabric to reveal his well-muscled chest.
Catherine swallowed hard. "You are beautiful, Julian. Truly. Perfect." She looked up at him, his green eyes still glowing in the darkness. "And mine." Then, feeling bold, she reached out and laid her hand over his heart, feeling its steady beat beneath her palm. His skin was hot to the touch, the fine hair covering his chest crisp and springy.
She should be terrified and on some level she was, but with each caress she gave, each inch of naked male flesh she saw, the less afraid she became. Catherine wanted this and she deserved it. So did Julian. If he was giving, she was taking. And she would give back tenfold once she knew how.
Still, when she reached for the placket on the front of his trousers, her hand stilled and she looked up once more, only to see him peering back down at her with humor in his eyes - as well as understanding.
"I will help you, Kitten." His words were so soft and she relaxed, not even realizing that she had been tense mere moments ago. "We will do this together."
Catherine allowed Julian to guide her hand, her fingers helping his to undo the buttons until, like her gown, the fine fabric loosened and fell away. Also like her, he had forgone smalls and when he stepped away and into the bright light of the grate, she could see his nude body glistening in the firelight.
Julian was a god. There was no other appropriate word to describe him. He was hard and muscled just about everywhere, including the powerful length of his legs. He had a small scar on his chest, just below one flat, male nipple and she wondered how he had come to obtain it. He was also rather hairy everywhere. Crossbury had not been, his aged skin wrinkled and sagging. This man, however, was sleek and taut, possessing the body of an athlete.
It was his cock, however, that held Catherine fascinated. It rose tall and proud from a thatch of hair between his legs. It was far thicker than she had imagined and, when compared to what she remembered about her late husband's appendage much, much longer as well. In the shifting light, the tip glistened and immediately, Catherine felt her stomach lurch in a rather odd way and the area between her legs grow damp.
"See something you like?" Julian asked as he took a step towards her. "For I see something, or rather someone, that I like very much indeed."
Catherine nodded, though she was certain fear was written all over her face. "And you are certain this will work? That you are not too large for me?"
"Kitten, I am perfect for you." Julian drew her into his arms. "In fact, I would go so far as to claim that I was made for you. And only you."
Then he kissed her and she was lost, her world upended once again. Last night when they had kissed, Catherine had been too overwhelmed to truly appreciate the fine art of this lover's dance, but now she was eager to learn all that he would teach her. With each kiss, she felt Julian's desire increase and hers rose to match. When he traced the seam of her lips with his tongue, she opened for him. When his tongue darted inside of her mouth to mate with hers, she mimicked his actions, eliciting a groan of response from Julian in return.
"I think we can speed up your lessons a bit, Kitten," Julian teased as he walked Catherine back towards the bed. "You seem to be a rather quick learner."
"Only because I have the most excellent teacher," she teased back, her blood now all but singing in her veins as her body came alive.
When Julian eased her down onto the bed, she thought for a moment that he meant to pull away and her heart lurched in her chest. Then, however, he was there beside her, his hot, hard body next to hers and she relaxed once more.
"If I do something you do not like, then you must tell me," he cautioned as he shifted his weight to move over her. "Otherwise, I shall assume you like it all."
With that, he leaned down and took one taut nipple into his mouth and began to suckle her. Catherine almost shot up off the bed and she cried out her release almost immediately. She had not known how pleasurable that sort of thing could be. For a moment, she thought that Julian might pull back but instead, he pressed on, fondling her other breast with his hand as he continued to lap and lavish attention on the first with his mouth.
Once more, that intense pressure began to build inside of her again, but this time, Catherine did not fight or question the pleasure and passion that was beginning to wash over her. Until this moment, she had never found her own release. She knew that it was possible of course, but she had never experienced it - or understood quite how languid it could make her feel. Or how wanted. Or how loved. And with that thought, she wanted to weep, for it was then she knew that no man would ever care for her the way Julian did in this moment. But she could not keep him. He was not hers. And that, more than anything, almost broke her heart.
With his mouth still at Catherine's breasts, Julian continued to worship her body as best he knew how. He was a skilled lover. He knew that. However, for Catherine, his Kitten, he wished to be perfect. He wanted to make her cease thinking, for he could almost still see the wheels in her mind still spinning. Which meant that he hadn't loved her well enough yet. But he would.
Sliding his hands down over the flat of her stomach, he marveled at how perfect she was, how lush and womanly. No mere chit of eighteen could hold a candle to this woman. No girl could ever fire his blood the way this woman did. For she was in a class all her own. And, for the moment anyway, she was all his.
Needing to push her just a little more and pre
pare her body to take his, Julian parted her nether curls, finding her already wet and ready for him. Slowly, he stroked a finger through her wetness, relishing the way she quivered in his arms and made little mewling sounds of pleasure. When he dipped a finger inside of her, once more she shot off the bed, her womanly sheath tightening around him as she stifled a cry of release. He felt her natural wetness flood against his hand and smelled the delightful musk of her sex. She was ready. As was he.
In fact, he was so hard that he throbbed, his cock far more swollen with the need for release than he could ever remember. His body felt tight, as if his skin was stretched taut over his muscles and something deep inside of him quivered, making his legs shake. He needed to have her and soon. He felt he would die if he didn't, as foolish as that sounded.
"Shh, Kitten," Julian whispered as he drew his lips back to hers and kissed her again. "Relax. I have you."
"Julian, I..." But whatever else she might have said died in her throat as he nibbled on her earlobe, all while still teasing her feminine pearl of pleasure.
"I will make this good for you, Catherine, I promise." This time, he bit down her ear and she whimpered again, her body tightening around his questing fingers once more. "And later, I will teach you how to please me. How to feast upon my cock until I am ready to take you and how to bring yourself this same pleasure as I watch. But for now, this time, it is for you. And only you."
Julian knew he should not be speaking so to a lady, but Catherine twisted him up into knots and muddled his thinking. He became insatiable with lust when he was near her, his mind mad with need and his body aching for hers. It was a little frightening, really, just how powerful this attraction to her had grown in such a short amount of time, but at present, he didn't care. All he cared about was Catherine. Her needs. Her wants. Her desires.
"I know you will try." She reached up to caress his cheek. "However you need not lie to me. I know that mating hurts, Julian. Always." Tears pricked at her eyes and suddenly, he understood the source of at least part of her fear.
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