“We’re grateful for your hospitality.” Kim’s father sat at the end of the kitchen table in Ruth’s house, black circles under his eyes, lines of weariness on his face, but his gaze was clear, not blank and distant like after the hurricane.
Kim appreciated the fact that Ruth was helping take her dad’s mind off the fire that had consumed the attic and part of the second story of Bienville. “Zane said something about getting us a trailer to use in a few days.”
“Nonsense. I hate you staying in a trailer when I have the space.” Ruth leaned toward Kim and lowered her voice. “Don’t tell my daughter that I miss her and the boys, but I do. I got used to the noise level being loud. This past week has been too quiet.”
“After the fire department says it’s okay, I’ll need to assess the damage. Zane will help me with that. It’s just that…” She couldn’t say anything else. All the words had been said—and the tears shed—the night before to Zane who had finally brought her dad, Anna and her to Ruth’s to stay while Maggie and Brady went to stay with a cousin.
“The minute Gideon called to let me know what was happening, I started preparing the bedrooms upstairs. I wasn’t going to take no for an answer.” Ruth patted Kim’s father’s hand. “I couldn’t have done this campaign without you, Keith. This is the least I can do for you and your family.”
He gave Ruth a weary smile that brightened his eyes for a few seconds. As he lifted his cup to his mouth, his hands trembled, but the brief grin lifted Kim’s spirits. Cody had arrived at the fire and had talked with her father for forty-five minutes while Kim had consoled Anna. Zane had been right. She couldn’t allow herself to fall apart. That short time with Zane last night was all the time she would let herself mourn the loss of her house. She had to hold the family together. If they had to tear down Bienville, then she would deal with it. If they could repair it, then she would manage that, too. At least that was what she’d told herself in the early morning hours when she couldn’t sleep. But now the prospects of the road ahead—after the past months of dealing with the damage from the hurricane and her father’s failing health—made her want to retreat from life, get in the car and drive until she ran out of gas and money. She wasn’t a chuck-it-all kind of person, but the temptation was great.
When Kim centered her attention on Ruth and her dad at the end of the table talking between themselves, the strong connection developing between them shouldn’t have taken her by surprise but it did. Her father looked tired, understandably, but not defeated. Something else stunned her, though. He lifted his hand and grazed it along Ruth’s jawline, his eyes sparkling. What was transpiring between them was more than friendship. She’d known that but not the depth of it. When did this happen?
Kim scooted back her chair and stood. “I think I’m going out to the house.”
Her dad glanced toward her and said, “Do you want me to come?” Then he returned his gaze to Ruth.
“No. I thought I would check what’s happening. Get some kind of estimate from the fire department. I couldn’t see everything last night when we left.” She strode toward the hallway that led to the staircase. She couldn’t stay any longer in the kitchen because she felt like an outsider. Ruth and her dad needed privacy.
Upstairs she eased the door open into the guest bedroom and found her daughter still sleeping. Tiptoeing to the dresser, Kim grabbed her purse, the only item other than the clothes on her back that she had with her from the house.
Leaving Anna asleep, she went down the stairs, rummaging in her purse for her keys until she realized her car was in the detached garage at Bienville. She considered asking Ruth to use her car but decided not to. It was only two miles to her house and she could use the walk.
She peered up. The bright blue sky without one cloud mocked her mood. As she began her trek toward her house, nature continued to taunt her with its joyous beauty and cycle of renewal as a pair of cardinals flew back and forth with twigs to build their nest, flowers bloomed and the trees filled in with leaves.
She strolled on the sidewalk that ran beside the highway between the houses and the sea. The mirror-smooth water glittered in the sun beginning its ascent. The scent of the Gulf’s salty tang and flowers in full glory along her way urged her to let go of her sorrow, and she nearly did until she turned into the long driveway that led to Bienville. That was when she saw the house, and new tears crowded her eyes until she could hardly see.
She stopped, frozen.
The enormity of what she had ahead of her struck her in full force. Some of the second floor was gone, as well as the whole attic. All the boxes of memories stored on the third level vanished in the fire. The antebellum gown that she’d worn to the Mardi Gras party had been her mother’s and stored in the attic—not to mention some of the antique furniture they had moved since the roof had been repaired so they could renovate the downstairs.
Behind her she heard a vehicle pull up and stop. She didn’t have the energy even to turn and see who had arrived. Her gaze stayed fastened on the charred remains of the upper part of her home. The slam of a door jolted her out of her daze. Slowly she turned toward the newcomer. Seeing Zane’s dad, she sniffed back the tears and straightened her shoulders.
Then she spied the sheen in his eyes and the dam holding back her tears broke. Wet tracks rolled down her cheeks.
A couple of feet from her, he said, “I’m so sorry that this happened to Bienville, Kim. It has such beauty and history. I had to come first thing this morning. I was praying what I saw last night had been a nightmare.”
“So had I.”
He took a step. She took a step. And then she was in his arms, seeking comfort from a man who at one time she couldn’t forgive. Now he was giving her solace when he certainly had good reasons to be leery of her and her family.
Vaguely she heard another vehicle stop and a door shut. She quickly composed herself. When she looked up, she glimpsed Zane. The expression of sympathy nearly undid her all over again. He reached out to her, and she went into his embrace.
“I went by Ruth’s to get you, but she said you’d already left for here.”
“I couldn’t sit around there any longer. I needed to know how bad it is.”
Zane glanced beyond her. “I’m not gonna kid you. It looks bad, but Gideon thinks the floor to the second floor is sound. The fire didn’t reach there. It did damage part of the walls, though—” he waved toward the house “—as you can see.”
“When can we go upstairs and see for ourselves?”
“Gideon thinks by midafternoon.”
“I’m going up to the house to look around,” Tom said then left her and Zane alone.
After his dad drove away, he rubbed his hands up and down her arms. “I can’t imagine what you are going through, but—”
Before he could say any more, she said, “No, you can’t.” She backed away. She was tired of depending on others for help. She could never repay Zane for all he’d done for her and her family. And now it would start all over again.
“I know you’re hurting. I know you feel defeated. You don’t think I’ve experienced those feelings?”
“I’m sure you have—under different circumstances. Up until last night I’d begun to feel that I was getting my life back together, that my dad would heal and regain a semblance of what he was at one time. Last night that went up in flames—literally. The battle starts all over again, and I’m plain tired of fighting.” She swung around and marched toward Bienville.
Zane dogged her steps. “Why don’t you wait and come back later? Let’s go to breakfast and then church. Give yourself some space.”
She wheeled around, and he nearly collided into her. “No, I want to be alone. I’m going to get my car and go somewhere to think. Is that enough space for you?”
He yanked back as if she’d slapped him in the fa
ce. “Fine. I’ll see you here at three this afternoon.” Pivoting, he stalked to his truck and backed out of the driveway onto the highway.
Kim curled her hands until her fingernails dug into her palms. Numb, she hardly felt the pain. After he disappeared from her view, she continued her way to the detached garage. She refused to look in the direction of her burnt home. But she didn’t need to. The image was seared into her thoughts.
* * *
Standing in her bedroom at her house, Kim listened to Zane tell her what he could do to repair the damage. She peered up at the blue sky exposed through the holes and missing sections of the roof—again. Zane’s voice faded from her consciousness. The view threw her back almost five months ago when the hurricane hit and she walked into her room the first time to see the destruction.
When she finally looked at Zane, he’d quit talking, his gaze on her. “Whatever you think is fine with me. You’re the expert.” Her shoulders hunched as she crossed her arms over her chest.
“Has your insurance agent said when the adjuster will come out?”
“He thought tomorrow sometime.”
Zane picked his way through the wet debris to her. “I’ll take care of it if that’s okay. I know how overwhelmed you feel right now.”
She opened her mouth.
He held up his hand and quickly said, “I’ve dealt with many others in similar situations, Kim. The good news is your downstairs isn’t in too bad shape. We’ll deal with the water and smoke, but structurally it is sound. I know you want to retain as much of the old house as possible.”
“If it wasn’t for Dad, I’d walk away. I don’t have what it takes to fight anymore.” Beyond the destruction to the house, most of their personal belongings had been burnt or damaged beyond use.
She pivoted and started for the hallway. She needed to get out of the house. Her gaze latched on to a photo of her and Anna lying on the floor near the dresser where it had sat. The glass was shattered and the picture ruined. Hurrying, she escaped into the corridor and continued to the staircase.
The stench of smoke and burnt wood drove her outside. Her stomach roiled as she increased her pace. She gulped down the bile rising in her throat and strode toward her car. She’d been away from her dad and Anna long enough.
“Kim.” At her car, Zane touched her shoulder. “I’ve been calling your name.”
She slanted a look toward him as his hand slipped from her, and he came around between her and her car. “I didn’t hear you.”
“And that’s what has me worried. Please talk to me.”
She fumbled for her keys in her pocket. “I don’t have any words to say to anyone. I need to get home to Dad and Anna. I’ll talk to you later.”
His penetratingly intense gaze bored into her, then he stepped to the side, opening her car door for her. “I’ll come by later tonight. There are details we need to work out about the house at least.”
“Sure,” she mumbled and slipped behind the steering wheel.
As she drove away, she saw Zane watching her leave, a frown on his face, his brow creased with concern. He cared and at the moment she didn’t. Not about anything.
* * *
The pain Zane glimpsed in Kim’s eyes pierced through him, but there wasn’t anything more he could do. He would repair her home, and he would be here for her. But she was pushing away, shutting down.
No, he’d never had his house burn, but he knew what it was like to hit rock bottom and just want to hide in the darkness, to hope that nothing else happened to shove him down even more. The only way he’d crawled out of that hole had been through the Lord. He’d finally realized years ago he couldn’t do it alone. He had to lean on God.
Please, Father, help Kim to see You are the answer to her problems. You are her strength in times like this.
* * *
Evening descended all around Kim as she sat on Ruth’s back deck, the darkness giving a chill to the air. She pulled her sweater around her, relishing the quiet and peace after dealing with a parade of people offering their prayers and condolences. Most had been optimistic, especially with Zane’s company rebuilding the upper level. Even their insurance agent had talked with her father and reassured him that he would prod the company to move fast on this claim. People had brought clothing for them to use and money to help them through the situation—money many couldn’t spare because of their own trials since the hurricane.
Kim pushed to her feet and walked to the edge of the deck, leaning into the railing, her hands clutching the wood. She didn’t want to be responsible for others going without because of her and her family. Hope had gone through so much in the past months.
I’m asking again, Lord. Why? What am I doing wrong?
The sound of the back door opening and closing drew her around to face Zane, the light from the window revealing his solemn expression.
“Your dad said you were out here. He seems to be all right. I’m glad.”
“That won’t last. He’s putting on a show for Ruth.” Each time she had talked with her father, Ruth had been near, but she intended to talk with him in private later tonight. She needed to be sure he wouldn’t fall apart again. “He was that way after the hurricane, too, putting up a front for everyone.”
“Did Cody come by today? He said he was going to.”
“Yes, while I was gone. He stayed about an hour.”
Zane moved toward her. “It might not hurt for you to talk to Cody.”
“I’ll be okay. It’s my family I’m worried about.”
“So the house burning doesn’t bother you?” He positioned himself next to her and stared out into the backyard, away from the light shining onto the deck.
She couldn’t see his facial features well and wondered if he’d done that on purpose. “What do you think? Of course, it bothers me, but I can’t allow myself to give in to those feelings. Someone has to hold the family together.”
“But what about you?” He tilted his head toward her, throwing his profile into the light. “You aren’t allowed to feel sad, angry, hurt?”
“What do you want me to say?”
“The truth. That this is killing you. You are at a loss. You’re struggling and need help.”
“No one can help me. What I’m feeling is what I’m feeling. You can’t change that.”
“You’re right. And I wouldn’t. You need to have those feelings, work through them and move on. That won’t happen unless you acknowledge them. Give them over to the Lord. Fighting the circumstances and Him can be too much for one person.” He turned toward her, cutting the gap between them in half. “I love you, and I’ll be here for you when you need me.”
The words of the last sentence washed through her, leaving in their wake fear of adding more hurt to what she was experiencing. He’d left her once. What was to stop him from doing that again when something didn’t go the way he wanted? She was afraid any more rejections would pull her apart at the seams. For Anna and her dad, she couldn’t afford to make any mistakes.
She backed away. “No, don’t do that.”
Chapter Thirteen
“Don’t do what?” Zane asked, watching Kim pull herself up as tall as she could.
“Don’t love me. We had our chance. The time for us is over.” She spun on her heel and hurried toward the back door.
“Kim.”
She kept going into the house. The banging of the screen door sent a jolt through Zane.
What in the world had possessed him to declare his love at such a bad time? He’d wanted to wipe her pain away. He’d wanted her to know she wasn’t alone, that he would be here for her. He’d wanted her to know he’d fallen in love with her even against his better judgment.
But to Kim it was too late for them. Maybe she was right. Their ti
me had been years ago, and he’d blown it back then. Now he had to live with the consequences.
“Zane, what’s wrong with Kim? She flew through the living room and out the front door, saying she was going for a walk.” Keith walked out onto the deck. “Normally that wouldn’t concern me except for how she’s been behaving today and the look on her face.”
“What kind of look?”
“Oddly if I had to say, a mixture of anger and sadness. I’m just glad Anna decided to go to her room and didn’t see her mother like this. Is there some bad news you aren’t telling me about the house? You said it could be repaired.”
“It can. And no, I haven’t withheld anything from you.”
“Then what happened?” Keith leaned back against the railing.
“I told your daughter I love her.”
“And that caused her to run out the front door?”
“I guess so. She thinks our time is over, and maybe she’s right. I don’t know anymore where she is concerned, but don’t worry. I am still going to do the best job with your house. My father has taken a personal interest in making sure it is restored. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’d better get home. I’ll have to make arrangements tomorrow for a full crew to work on Bienville.”
Zane made it to the back door when Keith’s words stopped him. “Thank you for all you’ve done. I was so wrong all those years ago, and my daughter hopefully will discover that.”
But that might be too late. Zane kept the words to himself as he strode through the house and left.
* * *
Later that night, Kim let herself into Ruth’s house and started toward the staircase.
“Kim, is that you?” her dad asked from the living room.
“Yes.” She went to him. “Is everyone else in bed?” She checked her watch and noted it was ten.
“Yes, but I couldn’t sleep. Wanted to make sure you were all right.”
“I’m fine. You shouldn’t stay up because of me. I went for a walk and ended up in town at the café.”
A Love Rekindled Page 17
