by Judi Curtin
The two of us sat up all night.
But there was no laughing at all – not even a single small giggle.
For most of the time, Kate was lying on my bed crying like her life was ruined forever.
I’m not blaming Kate. I wouldn’t like to be in her situation. If my life was like hers, I’d probably lie on my bed and cry too.
But, after hours and hours of hugging her, and saying everything would turn out well in the end, I knew I wasn’t helping her. I knew nothing I could say was going to make her feel the tiniest bit better.
And all the time, at the back of my mind, I had the horrible, mean, selfish thought that maybe Mum and Dad had made a huge mistake.
Next morning I woke up with a jump, half hoping that the previous day had just been a nightmare. But then I turned and saw Kate lying on the spare mattress on the floor next to my bed. Her eyes were open, and she was staring at the ceiling.
‘Hey,’ I said.
‘Hey, what?’ she said, without turning her head.
‘I’m glad you’re here,’ I said, trying to convince myself that this was really true.
‘Are you?’
‘Of course I am, and aren’t you glad too?’
‘Why should I be?’
I sighed. She really wasn’t making this easy.
‘Because now you’re not on your own any more. You don’t have to live in that dark house all by yourself. You can eat whatever you like, and go out whenever you like. You’re not a prisoner any more.’
‘Did you ever think that maybe being a prisoner in your own home is better than being totally free in someone else’s?’
This sooo wasn’t the kind of conversation I usually have with friends on sleepovers, and I had no idea how to answer her. Then she gave a big long sigh.
‘Forget I asked that question,’ she said. ‘It’s no use, Eva. You’ll never understand how I feel.’
‘Maybe not,’ I said. ‘But trust me, Kate, I’m doing my best.’
And then for the first time, she turned to face me. Her eyes were red and puffy.
‘I know,’ she said. ‘And I’m grateful, really I am. It’s just that ……’
She stopped.
‘Go on,’ I said as gently as I could.
‘It’s just that, while I was on my own at home, I could pretend to myself that Martha was going to be back soon, and that everything was going to be fine. Now I have to face up to the truth. It could be months before Martha is better. You were right all the time. My stupid plan was never going to work.’
I smiled at her. ‘It wasn’t a stupid plan,’ I said. ‘It was just a small bit unrealistic.’
She smiled too, and for a few minutes, everything seemed all right.
Later on, Lily called over. I met her at the door.
‘Come on in,’ I said. ‘I’ve got a surprise for you.’
I led her into the living room, and grinned as I watched her reaction.
‘Omigod, Kate!’ she said. ‘It’s so good to see you. How are you? What are you doing here? Are you home on a visit? How long are you staying?’
I was really, really happy that Lily wasn’t cross with Kate for being mean to her. Clearly Kate hadn’t forgotten about that though. Her face was bright red, and she looked totally embarrassed.
‘Er, Lily, I’m very sorry about … well you know … the bad stuff I said to you … and …’
Lily smiled at her. ‘Forget about it,’ she said. ‘That’s all ancient history. You were upset about Martha. I’d have been the same, if I was in your position.’
Once again, I remembered why I liked Lily so much.
‘So anyway,’ she said. ‘Now that’s all sorted, Kate, are you able to stay here for the whole day?’
Kate and I looked at each other, then she nodded at me, and between the two of us, we told the story of the past few weeks.
By the time we were finished, Lily’s eyes had filled with tears.
‘I can’t believe you were living on your own all that time, Kate,’ she said. ‘That’s so lonely and scary and mad and brave.’
She reached out to hug Kate, and then the three of us had a big long group hug, all of us trying very hard not to cry.
If hugs could make things better, then Kate’s life would have been perfect.
If.
‘Look on the bright side,’ I said to Kate as soon as the fuss and hugging was finished. ‘Now that you’ve been found, it means you don’t have to hide any more. We can go anywhere we like.’
Kate didn’t say anything.
‘So, where do you want to go?’ I asked.
Kate stared at me. The excitement of telling Lily her story was wearing off already. Her eyes were dull and sad. I had the horrible feeling that if I were to offer her an all-expenses-paid trip to the moon, she’d have just shrugged and said ‘whatever’.
‘We could go see Jeremy,’ suggested Lily.
Kate shook her head.
‘Not today,’ she said sadly. ‘Too many memories.’
And so the three of us sat around my place, and tried to make conversation.
It was almost like being trapped all over again.
Chapter Ten
A few days later, Mum and Dad drove Kate to visit Martha in hospital. I offered to stay home to look after Joey.
‘I know how much you love going to town, Eva,’ said Dad. ‘So it’s very sweet of you to offer to stay at home.’
I smiled guiltily, feeling bad that Mum and Dad had no idea of the real reason I was staying behind.
Mum spent twenty minutes telling me what to do and what not to do while they were gone. When they finally left, I grabbed Joey and raced down the lane.
‘Where are we going?’ he asked, as he struggled to keep up with me.
‘Kate’s place,’ I said. ‘I have a plan – and I need you to help.’
He seemed pleased to be included and didn’t say any more until we were in Kate’s garden.
I took the key from the hiding place she’d shown me the year before, and headed for the front door.
‘What are you doing?’ asked Joey, looking worried.
‘There’s something I need to get from Kate’s house,’ I said.
‘So why are you getting it now? Why don’t you wait till Kate is here, so she can get it for you?’
‘Er … it’s kind of complicated,’ I said. ‘You probably wouldn’t understand.’
He looked offended, so I corrected myself.
‘Well, you would understand, but I don’t have time to explain properly, so you’re just going to have to trust me, OK?’
He didn’t look very trusting. ‘Isn’t it against the law to go into Kate’s house without her permission?’ he asked.
‘Sort of. Not exactly. Anyway, Joey, can we discuss the finer points some other time? For now, I need you to keep watch, and whistle loudly if you hear anyone coming. OK?’
Joey nodded doubtfully.
‘Just be quick,’ he said. ‘When Kate and Martha aren’t here, this place is scary.’
‘Two minutes,’ I said, and then I slipped the key into the lock, and set off on my quest.
It was kind of weird and creepy, being in Kate’s house without her. Even though I’d seen her leave with my parents, I still half-expected her to jump out from behind a door, shouting ‘surprise’ and terrifying the life out of me.
A few minutes later, I’d got what I needed, and Joey and I went back home.
‘Promise you’ll never tell Mum or Dad or Kate about what I just did,’ I said.
‘Sure,’ said Joey cheerfully. ‘I’ll never tell anyone in the whole wide world – as long as you promise to play five games of Monopoly with me.’
It didn’t seem fair to argue, so I played Monopoly for what felt like hundreds of years, until Mum and Dad and Kate came back to rescue me.
Next morning it was time to pack for my trip to London with Ruby.
Kate sat on my bed and watched as I decided what clothes to bring.
> We’d stopped talking about her future.
We’d stopped talking about the foster family that Nicola still hadn’t found for her.
In fact we’d pretty much stopped talking altogether.
There never seemed to be anything to say.
But in the end, the silence got too much for me.
‘I’ll only be gone for five days,’ I said. ‘I’ll be back before you know it.’
Kate shrugged, like she didn’t much care if I was around or not.
‘I’m sorry I have to go away like this,’ I said.
Kate looked at me carefully.
‘Are you?’ she said.
‘Of course,’ I answered, but I couldn’t meet her eyes.
Then I knew I had to be honest.
‘I’m sorry, Kate,’ I said in the end. ‘You’re my friend, so part of me is sorry to be leaving without you, but the rest of me is really, really glad to be getting away. You’re sad all the time, and I don’t blame you for that, but I don’t know how to help you. I don’t know what to say or do to make you feel better.’
Kate gave a sad smile. ‘You’re the best friend I’ve ever had, Eva,’ she said. ‘No one can help me, but if anyone could, I know it would be you.’
Then she watched in silence as I put the last of my clothes into my suitcase.
As usual, I’d packed way too much stuff, and it took twenty minutes of pulling and dragging before the two of us managed to zip the suitcase closed. By then we were both hot and sweaty and giggling.
‘OMG,’ said Kate. ‘I know what’s going to happen the minute you get to London.’
‘So now you’re a fortune teller like Ruby’s mother?’ I said, laughing.
‘I don’t need to be a fortune teller. Anyone with half a brain can see that you’ve stuffed way too many clothes into that bag. I bet that the minute you get to London it’s going to explode and crowds of posh English people will fall around laughing as your knickers and socks go flying through the air.’
‘You really think that would happen?’
She shook her head. ‘No, but it would be soooo funny if it did. One of your socks might end up on the queen’s head, and you’d be locked up in prison forever.’
What she said probably wasn’t all that funny, but I was so happy to hear Kate laughing again, that I didn’t care. We both sat on my bed, and laughed until our throats hurt, and then Dad called us for lunch.
That afternoon, Mum, Joey and Kate watched as Dad loaded my case into his car for the trip to the airport.
Mum hugged me. ‘Be good, Eva,’ she said. ‘And be careful. London is a big city.’
‘I know that,’ I laughed. ‘I got an A in geography in my summer exams, remember?’
Mum pretended to slap me, and then she hugged me tight. When she finally let go, Joey hugged me too.
‘I’ll bring you back a present,’ I said, suddenly realising that I was going to miss his cheeky smile.
Then Kate stepped forward for her hug.
‘Will you bring me back a present too?’ she asked, as she clung on to me for longer than seemed necessary.
I wondered what I could possibly bring back that would make her happy.
‘Sure,’ I said. ‘I’ll bring you something. And until I get back … look after yourself.’
Kate pulled away and faked a smile. ‘You don’t have to worry about me. I’m tough,’ she said.
Then I jumped into the car and felt really, really bad, at how really, really good it felt to be escaping for a few days.
I started to get excited as we drove towards the airport. Before Dad’s business closed down, our family used to travel all around the world, but nowadays, my trips to Seacove were the most exciting parts of my life.
When we got to the check-in desk, Ruby and Maggie were already there.
Ruby hugged me. ‘I’m so glad you’re here,’ she said.
‘I’m glad you’re here too,’ I said. ‘I’ve never been on a plane without my parents before.’
Ruby laughed excitedly, ‘I’ve never been on a plane before!’
While Dad helped Ruby to load her suitcase onto the belt, Maggie pulled me aside.
‘It is so very kind of you to go on this trip with Ruby, Eva,’ she said. ‘I don’t think she’d have been brave enough to go on her own.’
I grinned. ‘Trust me, I’m really looking forward to it.’
‘I need to ask you one thing though,’ said Maggie.
‘What?’
‘Can you please make sure that Ruby tries her best in the swimming trials?’
That seemed like a really stupid favour.
Ruby was going all the way to London for these trials, so why wouldn’t she try her best? But now Dad was calling me to check in so I smiled at Maggie.
‘Sure,’ I said. ‘Just leave it to me.’
Jenny met us at the airport in London, and she hugged Ruby for ages. I’m used to being an only child, but even so, I couldn’t help feeling a bit jealous of how close the two sisters were. Then Ruby reached out and pulled me into their hug, and I felt a bit better.
I’d been to London with my family once before, but being with Jenny was totally different. She was a grown – up, and perfectly capable of minding Ruby and me, but she didn’t act like a grown-up. She acted like a very sensible, but very fun, big sister.
Jenny didn’t keep warning Ruby and me to stay next her, or to watch out for traffic, or to zip up our jackets. It was like being real people, on a real holiday, and I was certain that we were going to have an amazing time.
I didn’t care that this time we couldn’t afford taxis to get around – I felt all grown up and sophisticated as the three of us got the bus to Jenny’s flat. We dragged our bags up the two flights of stairs and Jenny flung open the door with a flourish.
‘Home sweet home,’ she said as we all trooped inside.
The flat was tiny – about the size of the smallest bedroom in the house I used to live in – but it was totally cute, with cool pictures on the wall, and a big vase of flowers on the table.
‘I am sooo living in a flat like this when I grow up,’ I said and Ruby and Jenny laughed.
I would have been quite happy to stay in the flat all evening, but Jenny had different plans.
‘We’re going out to dinner,’ she said.
‘Oh,’ I said.
Was I going to have to spend all the money Mum and Dad had given me on the very first night?
But then Jenny smiled, ‘Don’t look so worried, Eva. None of us has much money. There’s a restaurant near here that’s always cheap enough, and at the moment they have a two for one offer.’
‘Er, Jenny,’ said Ruby, ‘I know maths was never your best subject, but you do realise that two for one offers don’t work very well for three people?’
‘Cheeky!’ said Jenny grinning. ‘Anyway, I thought of that, and that’s why I’ve asked my Italian friend Andrea to join us.’
How cool was it to be in London without parents, and going out to restaurants with Italian friends? I couldn’t keep the smile from my face, as we changed our clothes and got ready for our big night out in London.
Jenny, Ruby and I were already at our table in the restaurant when Jenny looked up and smiled.
‘Oh good,’ she said. ‘Here comes Andrea now.’
I looked up and was surprised to see a very tall, very handsome man walking in our direction. I looked at Jenny, puzzled.
‘Didn’t I mention that in Italy Andrea is a boy’s name?’ she asked innocently.
‘OMG,’ said Ruby. ‘How dare you have a boyfriend and not tell me?’
Jenny’s cheeks went pink, but we couldn’t say any more, as Andrea was already beside us. Jenny introduced everyone, and then Andrea kissed everyone on both cheeks, and I thought I was going to faint from excitement.
I like Ruby a lot, but sometimes she’s a bit too thoughtful and quiet for me. With Jenny though, it was like the two of them were a very funny, comedy double-act. After dinne
r, they started talking about the time their mother pretended to be a fortune-teller. I’d been right at the middle of that story, and so knew every single detail, but still, when I heard Jenny and Ruby telling it, it seemed like I was hearing it for the very first time. Andrea kept shaking his head and saying ‘No? Really?’ and Ruby and I kept nodding and saying, ‘Yes. Absolutely.’
And then the four of us laughed so loudly that I thought we’d surely be asked to leave the restaurant.
‘Know what?’ said Jenny, as I wiped tears of laughter from my eyes for the hundredth time. ‘I think we’re going to have a totally fun few days.’
And I felt sure that she was right.
Chapter Eleven
In the morning, Jenny walked us to the bus stop around the corner from her flat.
She put money into a machine and handed Ruby and me a ticket each.
‘Bus number 127 will take you to the school where the interviews are on,’ she said. ‘It comes every ten minutes or so. And you get off at Whitehaven Road.’
‘You mean we’re going on our own?’ asked Ruby looking worried.
‘Oh dear,’ said Jenny. ‘Is that a problem? I can’t go with you – I’ve got to work this morning.’
I beamed at her. ‘No problem at all. We’ll be perfectly fine, won’t we, Ruby? Bye, Jenny. See you later.’
Then I grabbed Ruby’s arm and pulled her onto a big red number 127 bus that had just pulled up beside us.
I felt like a real Londoner as we went upstairs and sat in the front seats. It was a lovely sunny day, and everything seemed new and fresh and exciting.
Ruby was like a child on her first ever trip outside her own house. She kept saying, ‘OMG, Eva, look over there.’ And then before I had time to turn my head, she’d point in the opposite direction and say, ‘No, look there instead.’
I tried to be all calm and sophisticated, but in the end I couldn’t resist her enthusiasm, and started to stare and point too.
Ruby was excited by the black taxis and the tall buildings and the other red buses, and when she saw two policewomen on horses I thought she was going to faint away from the excitement of it all.
