by Judi Curtin
‘But what about Kate? She hasn’t gone away. She needs you. You can’t just ignore that.’
‘I’m starting a new job soon,’ he said. ‘And things won’t be so tight financially. I’ll be able to send Kate some money.’
‘Money!’ I almost spat the word at him. ‘She needs more than money. She needs a father.’
‘You’re young,’ he said. ‘You don’t understand yet just how complicated things can get when you are older. You see—’
‘I can see one thing very clearly,’ I said. ‘And it’s that I’m wasting my time. We’re leaving – and don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. I won’t tell Kate about your new family. It would hurt her too much, and she sooo doesn’t deserve that.’
As I walked down the short driveway, Ruby and Jenny walked beside me, like bodyguards.
Then when I got to the gate, I stopped and looked back. I realised that I absolutely didn’t need bodyguards. Patrick was leaning against the doorway, looking sad and old and defeated.
A kinder person than me might have felt sorry for him, but I needed all my sympathy for Kate.
‘Know what?’ I shouted back at him. ‘Kate’s much better off without you.’
He looked ashamed, but still he turned and went inside, closing the door firmly behind him.
That evening, Andrea brought us to a park near Jenny’s flat. He spread a huge rug on the grass, and Jenny, Ruby and I stretched ourselves out in the still-warm sunshine.
‘Don’t go away,’ he said. ‘I’ll be back in twenty minutes.’
Jenny turned to me. ‘I’m sorry things didn’t turn out better today, Eva,’ she said.
‘Me too,’ I said.
‘But you did your best, so don’t feel bad. And now you should try to enjoy your last evening in London.’
I knew she was right, but I wasn’t sure I could take her advice. Was it fair of me to enjoy anything, when my friend’s life was such a mess?
Then Andrea came back carrying a huge wicker basket and a guitar.
‘All my grandmother’s favourite recipes,’ he said, as he unpacked tubs of pasta and salad and warm garlic bread.
We ate until every scrap was finished, and then Andrea started to play his guitar. A young couple sat down near us, and the girl started to sing along to Andrea’s music, and I lay in the sunshine and thought that this had to be the best place in the whole world.
Much later, when we were packing up to go home, Andrea dragged Ruby over to the couple.
‘This is Ruby Miller,’ he said. ‘You don’t know her yet, but one day she is going to be a champion swimmer. Maybe you should get her autograph now, before the rush.’
Everyone laughed and Ruby went totally red, but she was smiling too.
‘Andrea’s lovely,’ I whispered to Jenny.
‘I know,’ she said, with a dreamy look on her face.
‘What am I missing?’ asked Andrea coming over.
‘Oh, just a family secret,’ said Jenny, and she gave me a big long hug.
Chapter Eighteen
When we walked through the arrivals area the next morning, Ruby covered her eyes.
‘OMG!’ she said.
I looked through the glass door to see Mum and Ruby’s mum waiting for us. Maggie was waving a beautiful hand-stitched flag. WELL DONE, RUBY! it said, in shiny gold letters. On her shirt she was wearing a huge badge that said My Daughter is a Swimming Star.
‘How totally embarrassing is that?’ asked Ruby.
I giggled. ‘She’s just proud of you.’
‘Well, I wish she could be proud of me in a more subtle way,’ she said.
We walked through the doors, and spent ages hugging and kissing and talking about the swimming trials.
‘You will never know just how proud you have made me, Ruby,’ said Maggie after a while.
Ruby looked at me and I knew what she was thinking.
I shook my head – there was no need for Maggie to know the finer points of what had happened at the swimming trial. But Ruby has a stubborn, honest streak.
‘I nearly didn’t get the scholarship,’ she said. ‘I nearly threw it all away at the last minute.’
The smile faded from Maggie’s face. ‘What happened?’ she asked.
Before Ruby could answer, I spoke for her.
‘She just got a bit nervous, that’s all. It wasn’t a big deal.’
‘It was a big deal,’ said Ruby. ‘It was a very big deal. My swimming trial was a total disaster.’
‘But you still got through, didn’t you?’ asked Maggie.
‘Yes, but only because of Eva,’ said Ruby. ‘She was totally brilliant. She talked to me and then she talked to the coach and persuaded her to give me another chance. If it weren’t for Eva, I would never, ever have got the scholarship.’
I looked at Maggie, and felt a sudden flash of pity. She was going to be so lonely when Ruby packed up and left for London. On long, dark winter nights, was she going to hate me?
Even though I’d done exactly as she asked?
But then Maggie beamed and stretched up and hugged me. It was almost like she could read my mind.
‘I’m going to miss Ruby so much,’ she said. ‘But missing her is nothing compared to how proud I am of her. I am so very happy that she’s got this wonderful opportunity. Thank you, Eva. You are quite simply amazing.’
Her words made me embarrassed at first, and then, as the embarrassment faded, I began to feel cross.
If I was so amazing, how come I couldn’t do a single thing to help Kate?
Mum dropped Maggie and Ruby home, and then we continued our journey to Seacove.
‘Kate’s going to visit a possible foster family tomorrow,’ said Mum as we drove.
‘Poor Kate,’ I said. ‘I bet it’s going to be like an X-Factor audition. How long does she get to impress the family? If they don’t like what they see, do they get to say mean stuff about her? Do they tell her to go home and try again next year?’
‘You’re just being silly, Eva,’ said Mum. ‘You know it’s not like that. Nicola and Tom have worked very hard to find a lovely family that will welcome Kate. I’m quite sure they’ll do everything they can to make her happy.’
I knew Mum was right, but that didn’t stop me from feeling terribly sorry for Kate.
‘How is she?’ I asked, not sure I wanted to hear the answer.
‘Oh, you know,’ said Mum in the end. ‘Kate’s busy being Kate.’
And then, before I could stop myself, I told Mum the story of the search for Kate’s dad, and what a total waste of time the whole thing had been.
When I stopped talking, Mum was strangely quiet. I looked across and saw that her eyes were glistening with tears.
‘Eva, that’s so sweet of you,’ she said.
‘Yeah, sweet and useless,’ I said. ‘I didn’t achieve anything.’
‘But you tried,’ said Mum. ‘You did your best and that’s what counts.’
‘It doesn’t do anything to help Kate, though, does it?’
Mum sighed. ‘Sometimes problems are just too big, Eva. Sometimes there’s nothing at all you can do.’
That was a really horrible thought, so I turned up the radio, closed my eyes and tried not to dread meeting Kate again.
When we got to the house, Kate came out to meet us. She was wearing a really nice top, and new jeans that Mum had bought for her. Mum had taken her to the hairdressers too, so her hair had a really cool cut.
‘You look great,’ I said. ‘And Mum says you’re going to see a family tomorrow.
Kate smiled at me, but it was an empty, brittle smile, like the last pathetic spark in a dying fire.
‘Let’s not talk about that now,’ she said. ‘Tell me all about London instead. I want to hear every single detail.’
That immediately set up a barrier between us.
How could I tell her every single detail of my trip?
How could I tell her about my stupid, stupid search for her stupid, stupid dad?
So I told her all about Ruby and the swimming trials, and the fun we’d had with Jenny, and about how cute and nice Andrea was.
And all the time I was talking, I had the horrible, weird fear that I was somehow going to blurt out the awful truth – I met your dad, and he rejected you all over again.
Chapter Nineteen
Next morning I helped Kate to get ready for her meeting with the foster family.
‘You should wear your new jeans,’ I said. ‘And I can lend you that green top you’ve always liked.’
Kate put on the clothes and looked at herself critically in the mirror.
‘I feel like I’m going on trial. It’s like an X-Factor audition or something.’
‘That’s totally ridiculous,’ I said, like I hadn’t already thought the exact same thing. ‘Anyway, if anyone is going to be on trial today, it has to be the family. You’re trying them out to see if they’re good enough for you.’
‘But—’
I didn’t let her finish. ‘You’re an amazing girl, Kate,’ I said. ‘And this family will be very lucky if you agree to live with them.’
Suddenly Kate ran from the room. When she came back a few minutes later, she had messed up her hair, and she was wearing one of her old tracksuits that looked crumpled and dirty.
She sat on the bed and folded her arms defiantly.
‘I might not have a choice,’ she said. ‘But the family will. If I make them hate me, they won’t take me, and that will be the end of that.’
‘But that’s not a solution. You have to live somewhere – there’s no way you’ll be allowed to stay on your own, and we’re leaving next week, and …’
I stopped talking when I saw that tears were rolling down Kate’s face. I ran over and hugged her for a long time.
Finally she pulled away, and gazed at me with the saddest eyes I’d ever seen.
I tried to smile. ‘It’ll be fine, Kate,’ I said. ‘Nicola told Mum that the family you’re meeting today is really nice. They’re called the Dalys. They have heaps of pets – and you like animals, so that’s all good. And anyway, in a few months time, Martha will be well enough to come home, and then everything will be fine again. Try and be brave, Kate, please.’
‘Sure,’ said Kate, wiping her eyes. ‘I can do brave – after all, I’ve had plenty of practice.’
By the time Tom and Nicola arrived to bring Kate to meet the Dalys, she had changed back into the nice clothes, and fixed her hair. She’d washed her face, and her eyes were only slightly red.
‘All set?’ asked Tom as we stood at the door.
Kate just stared at him, and didn’t answer.
‘I know you’re nervous,’ said Nicola. ‘And that’s understandable, but Tom and I will do all we can to make things easy for you.’
Still Kate said nothing.
‘The Dalys live only a few miles from here,’ said Tom. ‘You’ll still be able to hang out with your friends and, after the holidays, you can go back to your own school.’
‘You can bring all your own things with you, so it won’t feel too strange,’ said Nicola.
‘And we’ll arrange for you to visit Martha too,’ added Tom.
It was like they were both competing, to see who’d be the first to make Kate smile. I could have warned them that they were wasting their time. When Kate’s decided to sulk, nothing will make her change her mind.
Tom and Nicola walked towards the car.
I hugged Kate.
‘It’ll be fine,’ I said. ‘Trust me.’
And then I wondered why she should possibly trust me since I’d gone behind her back and then failed miserably in my attempt to help her.
Two hours later, Kate was back. Nicola and Tom went to talk to Mum and Dad, and Kate sat outside in the garden with me. Her face had the blank, secretive look that I remembered from the summer before.
‘So how did it go?’ I asked. ‘What was the family like?’
‘It went fine and the family was fine,’ said Kate.
Over the next twenty minutes, I tried lots of different questions, but I didn’t get any more information. Talking to Kate was like shouting into a cave. My own questions came bouncing back, just ever-so-slightly changed. I did my best, but I was kind of relieved when Kate said she wanted to go inside and be on her own for a while.
When Nicola and Tom left, Mum came out to the garden. ‘It’s all sorted,’ she said. ‘Nicola has to do some paperwork, but that won’t take long. As soon as it’s finished, Kate can move in with the Dalys.’
‘But that’s so sad,’ I said.
Mum sighed. ‘I know it seems that way right now, Eva, but it’s the best possible solution. The Dalys are a really lovely family, and they’re very much looking forward to having Kate stay with them.’
I thought of Kate’s sullen face, and her almost rude answers. I knew the real Kate, but if I didn’t I’m not sure I’d be happy at the thought of looking at that sulky expression all day long.
Mum must have read my mind. ‘Foster families get a lot of training. They’ll understand why Kate is upset.’
‘You’re sure?’
‘Sure I’m sure. Remember what Kate was like last year, but you still managed to see through to the lovely girl underneath. They’ll work it out. Just you wait and see.’
A few days later, Kate was ready to leave. When her bags were packed and waiting in the hall, there was still an hour to go until Nicola was due to pick her up.
We stood and looked at each other, and I wondered desperately how we were going to pass the long minutes.
In the end, Mum came to the rescue.
‘Why don’t you go and call for Lily?’ she asked.
I totally wished that I could.
‘She’s gone to visit her cousins in Dublin,’ I said.
‘Well, looking at each other with long faces isn’t helping anyone,’ said Mum. ‘You two had better go somewhere and do something, or I’ll have to ask you to do the ironing.’
Kate and I both hate ironing, so there was no need for discussion.
‘We’re going,’ I said, as I raced towards the door with Kate following close behind me.
When we got outside, we looked at each other again.
‘Come on,’ said Kate with a sigh. ‘Let’s go say goodbye to Jeremy.’
I followed her along the familiar road to her favourite field and her favourite tree. Kate flung herself on to the grass, and I lay beside her. For a while we lay in silence, watching the leaves rustling over our heads.
It was hard to know what to say.
I’d already said ‘it’ll be fine’ a million times.
And a million times, Kate had shrugged and not answered, almost like she didn’t care anyway.
Suddenly Kate sat up and stared at me.
‘Last year,’ she said.
‘Last year what?’
‘Last year, when the developers were threatening to cut Jeremy down, there didn’t seem to be any hope of saving him. But you found a way, Eva. Against all the odds, you found a way to save Jeremy.’
‘It wasn’t just me,’ I said, embarrassed. ‘It was you, and my parents, and Martha and Lily and the locals, and the tourists and …’
‘But it was mostly you,’ she said. ‘It was amazing. It was just like magic. So …’
‘So what?’
Now she looked embarrassed too. ‘Now I need you to work your magic again. The Dalys are a nice family, but I don’t want to live with strangers. I just want to stay here until Martha gets better, and you’re the only one who can help me. Please, Eva, can’t you think of anything?’
I looked at her and thought I was going to die of sadness. Apart from stupid, hopeless plans of running away, I couldn’t think of a single thing to help her.
‘I’m so sorry, Kate.’ I said. ‘I’m all out of amazing magic plans.’
She shrugged and tried to smile. ‘That’s OK,’ she said.
Then I knew the time had come to be honest. ‘There’s an
other thing too, Kate,’ I said, as I sat up. ‘But if I say it, you might hate me.’
‘But you’re my best friend. I’d never hate you.’
I wasn’t so sure, but I couldn’t pretend any more.
‘I don’t want to help you.’ An angry look flashed across her face, but I knew I had to continue. ‘What I mean is, I do want to help you, but if I did, I’d be doing the wrong thing. You see, I know you’re scared of going to live with the Daly’s – and that’s perfectly normal. I’d feel the same.’
‘But?’ Her face was blank again.
‘But living with the Dalys is going to be a million times better than staying on your own. I couldn’t bear for you to spend another single night inside that dark and empty house. So, even if I came up with the most amazing escape plan in the world, I wouldn’t share it with you.’
Kate was quiet for a long time. I lay down again and gazed up at the rustling leaves. I wondered if I’d managed to ruin our friendship forever.
Then, after ages and ages, she spoke in a quiet voice.
‘Thank you for being honest,’ she said.
I felt sick. If I was so honest, how come I couldn’t mention the small detail of her dad’s new wife and their totally sweet new baby?
An hour later, I watched the back of Kate’s head, as Nicola drove her away to her new home.
‘Why isn’t she waving?’ asked Joey. ‘Has she forgotten about us already?’
‘No,’ said Mum, patting his head. ‘She hasn’t forgotten us. She’s probably just excited.’
Joey was satisfied with that explanation, but I knew Mum hadn’t been telling the truth. Kate was too proud to let us see her tears.
‘Bye, Kate,’ I whispered, and then I went to my room and stared at the ceiling for a very long time.
Chapter Twenty
The next few days were weird. Lily was still away visiting her cousins and without her and Kate, Seacove was just a boring village by the sea. A few times I was so fed up I even volunteered to play Monopoly with Joey.
