“I don’t know,” Duncan said, letting Matt take it away. “I tried a piece of cake while I was waiting for them to box this one up, and it was delicious.”
Maggie asked what that was about, and Willa filled her in on the great cake controversy.
As Duncan walked around the room, he favored his left leg. He had a limp now, a reminder of the battle at the Vittra palace. He also had a few scars, but those were hidden underneath his clothes. Still, it pained me every time I saw them.
He still worked as my bodyguard and part-time nanny, but with a substantial pay increase. In fact, all the trackers working in Förening had pay raises and health care. It was part of my initiative to treat those who protected us and took care of us the way they ought to be treated.
I’d been able to make a lot of changes, but unfortunately, I wasn’t able to make all the ones I’d hoped to so far. Willa’s bare wedding ring finger was a sad reminder of that.
We’d managed to make some progress in making it legal for the Trylle people to love who they want to love. Tove’s semi-open relationship was proof of that, as well as Willa’s relationship with my brother, Matt. They were completely in the open about it now, but she’d had to give up her title as Marksinna in order for that to happen.
I was determined to make it possible for them to marry and have her title be reinstated. Whenever I got frustrated about things like that, Tove was quick to remind me that it had only been a year and a half. Progress takes time, and eventually, we’d get where we needed to be.
A small knock came at the playroom door, so Loki went to get it. Little Hanna stood there with her dark hair pulled up in two pigtails.
“She’s going through a knocking phase,” Mia explained with a demure smile.
“Oh, you better watch out,” Loki said. “I hear the next phase is ding-dong-ditch.”
Oliver squealed when he saw Hanna, demanding to be put down, and Maggie finally relented. Hanna ran into the room when she saw him, and they instantly started some kind of toddler banter I couldn’t follow.
There weren’t any other Trylle children for him to play with, and he actually had a very limited number of playmates in general. At this point, Hanna was probably his best friend, even though she was a year and a half older than him.
“Joke all you want, but it won’t be that long until Oliver’s doing it too,” Finn warned Loki with a grin. “And along with the knocking phase comes a talking back phase and a kicking phase.”
Loki laughed. “I can hardly wait.”
“Where should I put this?” Finn asked, holding out a present for Oliver.
“Here, I’ll take it,” Loki offered
“Thank you both for coming,” I said when I went over to greet them. “I wasn’t sure that you would make it.”
Finn had taken the past week off to go with Mia and Hanna to visit her relatives in Oslinna. It was actually nice to see Finn taking time off to do things with his family, that he’d finally put something in front of his job. Or maybe he’d finally just found something he loved enough to put in front of duty.
“We couldn’t miss the Prince’s birthday.” Mia rubbed her swollen belly absently. The small diamond in her wedding band caught the light when she did. “Besides, Hanna would be so disappointed if we did.”
“Oh my gosh!” Rhiannon gasped. “Mia! I didn’t realize you were pregnant! When are you due?”
“Three months.” Mia smiled, blushing a little.
“Wow.” Rhiannon shook her head, as if she couldn’t believe it. “It seems like just yesterday I was at your wedding. You guys must be so excited.”
Mia and Finn exchanged a look, one filled with love and joy. “We’re both thrilled,” she said.
Willa mentioned a baby shower, and that was it. Rhiannon stole Mia away so they could all talk excitedly about shower plans.
Loki had moved on to talk to Tove, Bain, and Duncan about a meeting we had next week with the Kanin King, and Matt and Garrett were talking to Rhys about school. That left me standing with Finn for a moment, watching Oliver and Hanna pushing around a large ball.
“Do you have a name picked out yet?” I asked Finn.
“Yeah. We’re thinking Liam Thomas.”
“So you know it’s a boy?” I asked.
Finn nodded. “We couldn’t wait to find out.”
“Me neither.” I smiled. “Liam’s a good name. Nice and clean.”
“Well, it’s no Oliver Matthew Loren Staad the First,” Finn teased, mocking the terrible time Loki and I had coming up with a name for our son. We’d finally settled on two middle names, because we just couldn’t decide on one.
I pretended to be offended. “Hey, it’s a good name.”
“It is,” Finn agreed, laughing a little.
“I’m really glad you guys came,” I said, and looked at him more seriously. His dark eyes met mine, and I couldn’t help but notice how much happier they were. Before, they’d always been so stormy, but now they seemed to sparkle.
“Me too,” Finn said, smiling at me.
I turned back to watch our children playing together. “When we first met, did you ever think things would end up this way?”
“No.” Finn shook his head. “Not in a million years. But I’m really glad they did.”
“Yeah, me too,” I agreed.
Hanna suddenly ran over to him and grabbed Finn’s hand. “Daddy, come see!”
“Duty calls,” Finn said, and he smiled as Hanna pulled him away.
Finn isn’t Hanna’s real father, of course, but he’s the only one she can really remember. When Hanna first started calling him “Daddy” all on her own, Finn actually had a long talk with Loki, asking him how he would feel knowing that if he passed on, Oliver might call his stepfather “Dad.”
I wasn’t there for it, but Loki’d told me about it later. He said if any man could love Oliver as much as he did and take care of him, and take care of me and love me the way he did, then that man would deserve the title. And he told Finn if that was true for him, then let Hanna call him that. So Hanna does.
Finn had married Mia a little over six months ago, and I’d honestly never seen him happier. His smile came so much easier, his laughed sounded more relaxed, and Mia seemed so much more contented. I’d gotten to know her fairly well, and she was as kind and nurturing as I’d suspected her of being when I first met her.
They complemented each other in a way that Finn and I never had, bringing out the best in each other. When I thought about it, it actually seemed silly that Finn and I had ever even tried to be together.
Hanna was busy showing Finn something, so Oliver came over, his arms outstretched. I picked him up, holding him close to me.
It was times like this when I realized what my mother had given up. If Elora really loved me—and I’m certain she did— then letting go of me must’ve been devastating. Even before Oliver was born, I’d felt a love for him growing inside me. By the time he was born and placed in my arms, it was almost overwhelming.
I’ve truly never loved anything as deeply as I love my son. And in the strangest way, I don’t feel like I really came alive until I had him. It was as if an essential part of me had been sleeping, lying dormant, until he awoke it.
As much as I love all the people in my life, and even as much as I love Loki, the love a mother has for her child is completely unparalleled. Nothing in this world will ever mean as much to me as Oliver does.
I had one arm around Oliver as he sat on my hip, and I turned him around to see one of the new additions to the playroom: a large portrait of Elora, young and stunningly beautiful as she sits in the back garden wearing a blue gown, in the early stages of her pregnancy with me. It was the only picture I could find of her looking happy.
“Who’s that?” I asked Oliver. I pointed at the picture, so he did the same. “Who is that in the picture?” He babbles a bit, but makes no real words. “That’s Gramma Elora. And she loves you very much, even if she never got to meet you.”
I kissed him once on the forehead before putting him on the ground. “Go play.”
I turned around and got a good look at the room, at the people who filled my life. Maggie stood with Mia, her hand on her belly, presumably feeling for the baby. Matt, Rhys, and Rhiannon were talking.
Willa was sitting on the floor while Hanna put a pink plastic tiara in her hair, and for some reason Oliver was handing her toy blocks. Finn and Loki stood nearby laughing as Oliver started wrapping a blue streamer around Willa.
Tove had been sitting on a couch next to Bain, but he got up and went over to the kids to make the blocks fly about, and they both stared in wonderment. Duncan limped over and joined in, plucking the blocks from the air so he could juggle them.
Loki noticed me standing off to the side, and he walked over to me, still smiling, but his eyes were concerned.
“Is something the matter, My Queen?”
“No, not at all.” I shook my head and smiled at him. “The opposite actually. I’m happy.”
“Good.” He leaned forward, kissing me tenderly on the mouth, then he took my hand and stepped backward. “Come on. Let’s join the party.”
TWO
Forever
Willa and Rhiannon finally sent me away. I’d been trying to help them clean up the party after the guests had gone, but they insisted I’d done enough. Loki and Oliver had already left about a half hour before I did because Oliver needed to sleep. Quite honestly, so did I, and that’s probably why Willa and Rhiannon made me leave.
I walked down the long hall, pulling stray bits of confetti free from my hair and dress, remnants of the piñata. Try as he might, Oliver had been unable to break it, so Loki had stepped in to help. Unfortunately, sometimes he didn’t know his own strength, and candy and confetti had exploded around the room like a small rework.
The door to the nursery was open slightly, and I could hear Loki’s soft tones as he sang to our son. When he sang loud, along with the radio, Loki could be off key. But when it came to lullabies, his voice was soft and filled with love, and there was something spectacularly beautiful about it.
“Alone I walk on paths I know, looking fora friendly face,” Loki sang. “I look to meet you, the one I gave my whole heart to. I want to see you once again, and dance again with you, my love.”
I pushed the door to the nursery open a bit farther and peered inside, and it was just as I expected. Loki held Oliver in his arms, the baby’s head resting against his chest, as Loki swayed slightly back and forth.
Loki told me his mother used to sing him that lullaby, but only when she was holding him, rocking him in her arms like they were dancing. And so he did the same with our son.
All the lights were out in Oliver’s room, save for a small nightlight casting stars upon the ceiling. Loki and Oliver stood in front of the windows, the glow from the moon bathing them in blue light.
Watching Loki cradle our child like that, singing sweetly into his thick dark hair, filled me with an overwhelming love for them both.
Loki loved Oliver fiercely. Like me, he never could’ve dreamed of parting with him. One of the first things Loki had said after I’d told him I was pregnant was, “The baby cannot be a changeling. He’s ours, and we’ll raise him.”
When I’d married Loki, I didn’t think I could ever love him more than I did then. But watching him with our son, I’d fallen in love with Loki all over again. I’d seen more of him emerge, revealing a man who was patient and nurturing. I couldn’t have asked for a better father or husband.
“Hey,” Loki whispered when he noticed me sneaking into the room. “I think he’s asleep.”
“I would imagine.” I went over and stood next to Loki. “After all that running around he did, I’m surprised he stayed up this long.”
“At least he’ll probably sleep through the night.” Loki smiled.
“We can dream anyway,” I said, and Loki laughed softly. I held out my hands to him. “Here. I’ll put him to bed.”
“Okay.” Loki kissed Oliver’s head, then handed him over to me. Once I had the baby safely in my arms, Loki gave me a quick peck on the cheek. “I’m going to go change into pajamas.”
“I’ll be in in a second,” I told him, and he slipped away.
I held Oliver for a minute, just loving the weight of him in my arms. Mia had warned me many times to cherish these moments as they happened, because babies grow up far too fast, but I already knew it. I couldn’t believe how fast the first year had gone by, that my son could now walk and even talk a little.
Carefully, I laid Oliver down in the crib. He stirred a little, stretching an arm, but he never opened his eyes.
I bent down, kissing him gently on the forehead, and whispered, “Goodnight, my little Prince.”
When I went into the room I shared with my husband, he’d already changed into his pajamas, which consisted of a pair of satin pants and no shirt, and he was sitting on the edge of our bed. Many of his scars had faded thanks to his strong Vittra blood, but a few remained.
Most notable was the one on his chest, where Oren had stabbed him clean through. Sometimes, just the sight of it would bring a tear to my eye. The memory of losing him, even for a second, was still crushing.
“He went down okay?” Loki asked me. “He didn’t wake back up?”
“Nope, he’s totally out.” I’d gone over to my jewelry stand on the side of the room and started taking off my earrings and necklace. “I think he’ll sleep for a while.”
My son was a darling, sweet boy, nearly perfect in every way, except for his absolute refusal to sleep a whole night through. I was lucky if he slept for four hours straight during the night. Fortunately, tonight might be one of those nights.
“He’s a year old now,” Loki pointed out. “He’s not a baby anymore. He might surprise you.”
“Maybe.” I shrugged and turned back to him, thinking of what I’d said to Finn earlier that day. “Did you ever think things would turn out this way?”
“What do you mean?” Loki asked, cocking his head.
“When you met me.” I walked nearer to him. When I got close enough, Loki took my hands and pulled me closer still, but I remained standing in front of him. “Did you think things would end up like this?”
“No,” Loki admitted with a lopsided grin. “But I hoped.”
“Even when you first met me?” I asked. “Back when you were trying to kidnap me and Kyra was beating me up?”
“Even then. Why do you think I stopped her?”
“I don’t believe you.” I shook my head. “How could you possibly have known that we’d end up together?”
“I didn’t know.” He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me to him, and I looped my arms around his neck as I stared down at him. “But as soon as I looked into your eyes,” he paused, thinking of the right words. “You’ll think I’m making this up.”
“Making what up?” I asked.
“What I’m about to say. It sounds silly, but it’s true.” He took a deep breath. “I saw my whole world in your eyes.”
I smiled at him, not sure what to make of that. “What does that mean?”
“I don’t know how else to explain it.” He shrugged. “I looked in your eyes to knock you out, so we could safely take you back to Ondarike. But when our eyes met, I just . . . I saw this. Not this exactly, but I saw how much love we could share together.”
“Really?” I asked.
“Well, I didn’t realize then how much I could love you and Oliver,” Loki corrected himself. “But from the moment I met you, even in that very first second, I was already falling in love with you.”
“When did you know for sure?” I asked.
“That I loved you?” Loki asked, and I nodded. He stared upwards for a second, thinking. “When you escaped Ondarike the first time. We were standing in the hall of the dungeon, and you had stopped and were j
ust looking at me. Then somebody called for you and you ran off, and I couldn’t remember a time I’d felt so heartbroken.
“I mean, I was glad you’d escaped,” Loki went on. “I knew that was the best thing for you. But I realized how terribly I was going to miss you, and we’d only spent a few moments together.” He brushed back a hair from my face. “I don’t think I’ve ever really loved anyone until I met you, Wendy.”
I bent down, kissing him, and his arms tightened around me, pressing me to him with a strength I’d come to love. He pulled me down to the bed with him, then laid me down so he was on top of me.
Usually, when we had a moment alone in our chamber when we weren’t both exhausted, we hurried to make love, knowing there might only be precious minutes until the baby began crying or someone interrupted us with important news about the kingdom. Duncan had walked in on us more than a few times.
This time, Loki was taking it slower. Kissing me deeply and holding me to him in a way that sent butterflies swirling in my stomach. He kissed my neck, letting his lips travel down my collarbone and making me tremble.
Then he stopped. Propping himself up on one arm, he smiled down at me and brushed the silver curl from my forehead.
“You never answered your own question,” Loki pointed out. “Did you think things would turn out like this?”
“Never in my wildest dreams,” I said. “I never imagined that I could ever be this happy.”
“Hmm.” Loki narrowed his eyes, a playful smile on his lips. “Good answer.” I reached up to pull him down to me, but Loki took my hand and pinned it back on the bed. “Not so fast. You didn’t answer the other question.”
“What question?”
“When did you fall in love with me?”
I opened my mouth to answer but realized what I’d been about to say wasn’t quite right. The moment I knew I loved him was when we’d kissed at my coronation, but I think I’d actually fallen in love with him before that. I’d just been too afraid to admit it to myself.
“At my wedding,” I said finally. “Not our wedding, but when I married Tove. You came and danced with me, and you made me feel . . . like I’d never felt before. I never wanted to stop dancing with you.”
Trylle Page 75
