“Baby?” He held her tighter.
“I don’t want to go to Rio!” She turned her face into his chest.
“I know. Leah, it will be all right. We will come back right away.”
She didn’t know if she believed him or not, but she desperately wanted to. Before she had been kidnapped, the second time, she almost had him convinced to let her give birth at home instead of the hospital. Now that was completely unrealistic. The doctors were afraid that her heart wasn’t strong enough to be able to tolerate labor. Apparently losing nearly twenty percent of your body weight in a short amount of time and regaining a lot of it back just as fast was very bad for you even if you weren’t pregnant and chronically sleep deprived.
Her hands shook as she reached for the remote. Adam took it from her and flicked on the television, slowly increasing the volume. He always turned it down before he turned it off. Leah let out a huff and threw off her blanket, crawling out of his lap. She was so frustrated. Looking confused, Adam kept his distance as he followed her up the stairs.
No sex tonight, she thought, not that it really appealed to her now. She’d be shaky for the rest of the evening. Crawling into bed, she wrapped the covers around her and sank down into her pillow. When he went to lie next to her, she asked him to leave her alone. He looked wounded, but left and she wondered if he was trying to appear less hurt than he actually was or was faking it entirely.
An hour later, he knocked on the door softly. His eyes were down and he was holding a bowl of homemade blueberry ice cream. She smiled at him, inwardly laughing at herself because the chocolate was more appealing now, but couldn’t bring herself to mention it. Patting the seat next to her, she watched his lips turned upwards as he sat down. She moved over until her body touched his. Wrapping his arm around her shoulders, he kissed her temple lightly. He could be so caring. Maybe he deserved the benefit of the doubt.
But his tenderness was part of the problem. Leah couldn’t figure out if it was genuine or not. Adam started being very attentive and thoughtful after he had found out that she was pregnant, but he never became less demanding. Slightly less controlling, yes, but not much when it came right down to it. This transition to a more egalitarian relationship seemed too easy. He told her it wasn’t actually as effortless as he made it look, but not as hard as he expected because he felt so incredibly guilty.
If he actually did love her as much as he said he did, it could make sense. And honestly, it was the only way Leah could stay with him, given everything that had happened. She liked it, mostly. But a part of her, a tiny part at first but one that was getting bigger as the ordeal got farther and farther away, missed the way he used to be, some of it anyway. It was exciting, it made her feel desired, and above all, protected.
She missed that iron, unyielding backbone. Yet at the same time, was so glad it was gone. How could she explain that to him when she didn’t even understand it herself? It was fun testing his limits, seeing how far she could push him before he took the control back. She could tell he wanted to when she was at her worst. But it would probably scare the crap out of her if he did, and make her question the authenticity of his emotions even more.
He pulled her into his lap when she was done eating, holding her closely while he ran his fingers through her hair and asked her if she needed anything. Leah absolutely loved him like this. But she also liked him the other day when he blew up at one of the security guards. He was so authoritative, so dominant. Which Adam did she want? Could he really be both at the same time? More importantly though, which Adam was the real Adam?
Since they ended up falling asleep so early, Leah was wide eyed by dawn and wanted to go on a walk. She’d been so tired lately it was a rare occurrence. By the end of it she was too tired to walk, but refused to let him carry her. After a few hundred feet he apparently couldn’t take it anymore and picked her up while she protested, even chastised her a bit for being unreasonable. Pretending to pout, she laid her head against his shoulder and wondered if she should tell him that she actually enjoyed the outburst.
“Leah, we’ve been delaying an important talk and since I obviously won’t be spoiling your good mood, now is as good of a time as any.”
Adam had carried her into the office and sat her down at the desk in front of a pile of file folders. Her heart started thudding in her chest as he pulled up a chair beside her.
“I don’t understand why you are so reluctant to talk about this, but we’ve put it off as long as possible.”
“Put what off?”
He leaned over and kissed her cheek. “That nanny, Leah. I’ve narrowed it down, but we need to do interviews ASAP. She will be coming to live in a foreign country and will surely need time to make arrangements. I want her in Rio when we get there.”
A sob escaped her throat as hot tears overflowed onto her cheeks. Sometimes these overreactions were so lightening fast it scared her. Adam had a shocked expression on his face as she pushed back from the desk.
“I don’t want a nanny!” she cried.
He let out an exasperated sigh and reached toward her. She swatted him away.
“Baby, we’ve been through this,” he said quietly, his expression wounded.
“I’m not picking out my replacement. Do it yourself.”
His jaw dropped. “Replacement? Honey, that’s not what this is about.”
“Do you have another set of files on them, too? Like the one you had on me? Or will you be bringing in another girl to be your fuck toy this time?”
He stared at her in disbelief.
“I want to go back to the U.S. You said that I could.”
He inhaled sharply, his jaw clenched but shaking. “If that’s what you want.”
“What was the plan?”
“Plan?” His eyes were on the floor.
“For raising our son in the States. Surely you thought it out. Tell me.”
“I thought… I haven’t exactly…” he stammered.
“Because there never was a plan, was there?” Leah stormed, rising. “Because the plan was to make me think I had a choice so that I wouldn’t be upset. And then I’ll smile while I let your doctors cut your son out of me and when I wake up I’ll be far away from here, from him, because you’ll be done with me.”
“Holy shit, baby,” he said as he followed her into the hallway. “Is that really what you think?”
She didn’t answer, just started crying harder.
“Is that why you want to leave?”
Still no response. She was in their bedroom now, tearing through the closet.
“Leah?”
She stomped past him into the hall again, headed for the baby’s room in hysterics.
“Leah!” He grabbed her arm and spun her around. She tried to pull away but he wouldn’t let her, hugging her into his chest. “Baby, I love you.” Scooping her into his arms, he carried her back into the bedroom and sat in a fluffy armchair in the corner.
“I don’t trust you,” she whispered into his shoulder. His breathing stilled for a second and he swallowed.
“I-” His arms hugged her tighter. “I don’t want you to go.”
“But you’d let me?”
“Yes,” he croaked. “Do you really want to leave?”
“No,” she confessed, feeling his body relax.
“I promise I’m not going to get rid of you after the baby comes.”
“I found the formula.” She’d seen several cases in a chest freezer they never used.
“Baby,” he sighed. “The doctors…they weren’t sure you’d be able to produce milk. Or that you’d even survive. It’s just a contingency plan, I didn’t want to upset you.”
“Do you think I’m too screwed up to take care of the baby? Is that why you want a professional?”
“No.” His eyes were glassy as they stared into hers. “Leah, No. But you’re still sleeping 12 hours a day. And I’d like it to stay that way. Who knows how long it will take you to recover from surgery.” He kissed her hea
led wrist.
“You were so adamant about not having a nanny before.”
“A lot has changed since then.”
“Too much.”
“What does that mean?”
She crawled out of his lap and went over to the door to the deck. He followed her out.
“Leah, what do you mean? Please just tell me what’s going on in that head of yours.”
“You. You’re too different. I don’t know if I believe it.”
“I don’t know what to say to that. It hasn’t been easy.”
“A person doesn’t just flip like that, Adam. Especially not a control freak like you.”
“Since you’ve come home,” he started, moving towards her, “controlling you has been a lot less important compared to making sure you aren’t afraid of me.”
“I’m not afraid of you.”
“Then it’s been working.” He slid her arm around her waist. “If it makes you feel any better, it’s been getting a lot harder lately. With you testing my patience all the time.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“This mouth.” He kissed her, his teeth gently nipping at her bottom lip. “Is what I’m talking about.”
She stared up at him defiantly as he broke away. “I like the way it frustrates you. And getting a glimpse of who you really are.”
“You’re the only one who’s ever seen who I really am.” He brought her hand up to his lips, kissing her fingers. “But, yea, lately I’ve been keeping a lid on the control freak.” Angry eyes, a mouth struggling not to smirk. She was starting to like this look. “If you want him back…”
“I don’t,” she said quickly. “But I like to tease him, I guess.”
“He likes it, too.” He threaded his fingers into her hair at the nape of her neck and tugged lightly.
“I don’t want to lose the rest of you.”
“That’s impossible,” he whispered, his breath hot against her neck. “Because I am different now.”
“Me too.”
He picked her up and carried her into the house. “I know.” His arms felt so steady as he laid her on the bed. “Every time I look at you, I just…melt. It’s confusing. Sometimes I want it the way it was before. But this… the way I want you now, the way I need you. There’s no going back.”
“I know.”
“So we will be different, together. It will work out.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
“I’m not tired.”
“Oh, I think you are.”
As much as she hated to admit it, he was right. She always dropped after she got upset. He stroked her spine as she nuzzled into his shoulder.
“Will you have new name?” Leah asked sleepily.
“Yes.” She poked him in the ribs to continue. “Garrett Langdon, anthropologist with a trust fund.”
“Garrett, huh?”
“Do you like it? You’ll have to get used to calling me that in public, especially if we’re traveling in the U.S.”
“Will that be an option? Don’t you have to worry about being seen?”
“No suit. I’ll grow a beard. Nobody should notice.”
He was right again. Leah thought of the plastic man with the plastic smile, the picture that would be in all of the papers.
“Besides, everyone will be looking at his beautiful wife.”
“Wife?”
He pressed his forehead against hers and kissed her nose. “I hope.”
“Are you asking me?”
“I’m telling you that I will be asking you. I was always going to. Even before.”
“But you’re waiting until the old you is dead and gone, huh.”
He nodded, a touch of the lost little boy look in his eyes.
“I think you should tell your children. Everything.”
“Leah…” He rolled onto his back.
“Did it ever occur to you that she wants them to be angry with you, so they won’t want to see you afterwards?”
“Patricia isn’t particularly vindictive, even when she’s mad. She just cares about the publicity.”
“Screw her pictures. You need to do what’s right for them.”
He let out a groan. “Maybe you’re right. I’ll think about it.”
She curled up next to him. “I like the way you consider my opinion now.”
“I always did.” His lips pressed into the top of her head. “I just didn’t want you to know. Get some sleep.”
“Okay.” She was already on her way.
“Will you let me consider your opinion concerning our son’s nanny when you wake up?”
“Yes,” she grumbled, drifting away.
21
Leah sat up suddenly, her eyes surveying the bedroom washed in blue moonlight. Her heart wasn’t beating fast like it usually was and her skin wasn’t slick with cold sweat. Then she heard the noise that had woken her again. It was Adam.
He was slumbering next to her as always, but not peacefully. Thrashing next to her, he mumbled her name and clenched his fists. Her first instinct was to wake him up but she wanted to hear what he was saying.
Her curiosity didn’t last long. She couldn’t leave him trapped in whatever hell he was apparently in. After a few “No’s” and “I’m sorry’s” there was a “But I love you” followed by a “Don’t go” and she reached out to shake him awake. It took more force that she expected and only seemed to make it worse until his eyes finally flew open.
They were terrified, brimming with tears, searching her face as if to see if it was really there. He was breathing so fast it looked painful and she could see a vein pulsing in his neck. She smoothed his furrowed brow as his shaking arms reached forward. Her body crushed against his as he seized her forcefully, one of his hands on the back of her head, the other on the small of her back.
He would have never held this tightly if he were fully awake and Leah’s breath caught in her throat. This was the way he used to hold her, the way she needed him to hold her so that she could feel the love and desire he was always professing. His entire body was shuddering, his fingers digging into her flesh and his face disappeared into her neck and hair.
“I don’t want you to leave me.” His voice vibrated into her chest.
“I won’t,” she whispered softly, kissing his collarbone.
“Leah.” He pulled her head back by her hair so that she was looking into his eyes. “I think you’re right.” His grip loosened, replaced by the tingling sensation of his fingers gently tracing a pattern on her nape. “I won’t let you go.”
His eyes were feral. She should have been angry, scared, panicked, but she wasn’t. This was who he really was and if he loved her as much as he said he did there was no way he would just let her leave without a fight. She moved to kiss him but his mouth was already on hers, his lips forcing hers apart as his tongue claimed her.
His hand clenched in her hair as the other moved underneath her nightdress. It stopped on her belly and she opened her eyes as she felt his grip loosen.
“Baby!” his voice cracked as his face filled with remorse. He was awake now. “I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?” He sat up against the headboard and pulled her into his lap.
“No.” She nuzzled into his shoulder, her body still running hot from the glimpse of the animal he’d kept caged since they had been reunited.
“I shouldn’t have done that.”
“Stop it.” Her hands had a mind of their own and started running over his muscled torso as her lips tasted the skin on his neck. She held onto his shoulders, using them for support as she flung one of her legs over his hips to straddle him. His cock pressed against her sex. “I liked it. I miss it. I need it as much as you do.”
He let out a low growl in response, but his face was still tormented. Kissing his forehead, she flashed him a smile as she took his hands in her own and placed them on her swollen stomach. Just when it seemed he was ready to let go, concern flooded his face and he stopped moving
entirely.
“Leah,” he said and she stifled an exasperated huff. “You’re all wet.”
“I know.”
“No, baby, your dress.”
Confused, she looked down to see the white fabric had become sheer with moisture, clinging to her nipples.
“I think I leaked,” she marveled, looking up at him excitedly.
“Wow.” His lips curled into a smile.
“That’s normal, right?” He knew so much more about this pregnancy stuff than she did. She looked down at her swollen breasts, gently touching her nipples through the wet material.
“Yes.”
There was something in his voice that made her look up. The smile was gone. He was panting, staring at her intensely with the animal’s eyes. His hands wrapped around her wrists, pulling them away from her chest. He kissed the inside of the one that had been broken, his eyes still locked with hers, before placing them gently at her sides.
“Leah?” The question rumbled through his chest and pressed into her thigh.
She nodded and his hands were on her in a flash, pulling her nightdress over her head, leaving her bare as the chill of the night air stiffened her damp nipples. The heat of his mouth and the palm of his hands quickly replaced it as he attacked her breasts, letting out a low groan.
He suckled her, pulling her nipple deep into his mouth until it had given him all it had to give. She cried out in pleasure as he ambushed the other, his free hand gripping her ass to pull her closer to him before returning to grope her swollen breasts. They didn’t have much to give him and she wondered if he noticed as he ravaged them until her nipples started to ache.
On cue, Adam’s face looked up at her before she let out a whimper, the hint of an apology in his eyes. She refused it with a kiss and slid her hand down his rippled stomach to his iron cock. He was still naked from when they had played with each other before falling asleep.
“Get these off,” he snarled, fumbling with her panties.
Leah went to dismount him but he pulled her back down and tore them apart above one of her hips, sliding the tatters down the opposite thigh as she giggled. His expression lightened in response and he pulled her face to his, kissing her softly as his fingers explored her slit. They toyed with her clit for a few moments before sliding up inside of her, testing if she was ready.
Captured by the Billionaire (Omnibus Edition) Page 15
