“I mean it. He always snagged the hottest piece of ass. Now my only competition is Connor.”
“And Tate?” Danica nodded her thanks when Jesse grabbed a couple of beers from the cooler and handed her one. She hadn’t had a drink in a few days, so she could indulge a little.
Alder shook his head, idly toying with a strand of her hair. “Tate goes for more experienced women. The type that can teach him a thing or two. The other guys take their pick of groupies.”
“Not always groupies. We’ve had our fair share of models and actresses.” Malakai grinned at Danica. “Those girls are fun to unwrap. They look so perfect until you get them in the bedroom. Or the closest bathroom stall. Then they’re the dirtiest—”
Jesse cuffed Malakai upside the head. “Enough beer for you. You’re acting like a fucking pig. I think Danica gets the point. You’re not her type.”
Malakai smirked. “Glad that’s cleared up.” He stood and handed Jesse his guitar. “She wants to hear Alder sing. You play for the lovesick puppies. I’m gonna go make sure Connor isn’t sharing his medical grade with our little drummer boy. Last I heard, Tate was offering to suck his dick for a few puffs. A few days without any and Connor might go for it.”
“If he did, don’t kill him!” Alder called out as Malakai ambled off toward the other buses.
Waving dismissively, Malakai shouted back, “I make no promises!”
These guys were too much. Danica slid off Alder’s lap, snagging another chair so she could face both him and Jesse. She was even more eager to hear them together than she had been when Malakai had been sitting where Jesse was now. She had a feeling Malakai had spotted Jesse before any of them. Which meant all his talk had been to get Jesse to take his place.
Strumming the guitar, as though re-familiarizing himself with the instrument, Jesse ran his tongue over his bottom lip. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you sing, Alder.”
“Yeah, I only do it around Malakai. Not for any special reason.” Alder curved a hand around the back of his neck, digging his fingers into the muscles. “Helps when we’re putting all the pieces of the songs together.”
“Does Brave know?”
“No. Everyone leaves us alone when we’re composing.” Alder rolled his shoulders. “Look, don’t make a big deal about this. Brave wants three songs ready to start recording in Detroit. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have been doing this out in the open.”
Jesse inclined his head. “So he’s gotten more lyrics written?”
“Nope. Just the one song. But it’s ready.”
“Cool.” Jesse glanced over at Danica, an apologetic smile on his lips. “I’d play that for you—give you an exclusive preview of the next album, but I’m a little rusty. Mind hearing something I’ve played before so I don’t completely embarrass myself?”
She reached out and patted his knee, giving him a crooked grin. “The two hottest guys on this tour are about to perform for me. I’ll take whatever you give me.”
Crimson spread over the tops of Jesse’s cheeks. “That sounded suggestive as hell.”
Alder looked from Jesse to her, his brow furrowed. “What?”
“Nothing, hot stuff.” Danica took Alder’s hand, lacing their fingers together. One of the things she loved about the man was how clueless he was about his own appeal. “Just the usual. Everyone wants you.”
He snorted, casting an amused look at Jesse, as though he expect his best friend to laugh as well. When Jesse didn’t, he cleared his throat. “All right, how about music? Do you know ‘A Tous Le Monde’?”
“Megadeth? Fuck, of course I know it.” Jesse played a few unfamiliar notes on the guitar. Apparently the right ones, because Alder nodded. “Let’s do this, ‘hot stuff’.”
Both men were blushing a little, and Danica wanted to pat herself on the back. Fine, this didn’t mean anything serious, but they were closer than she’d ever seen them. What happened later today, or tomorrow, didn’t matter. Brave couldn’t use Jesse to lash out at Alder, while carelessly trampling on Jesse’s feelings, if he wasn’t coming between them.
But you’re between them.
Only, she didn’t think she was. Not that she had the first idea how things would work out if Brave cut the act and moved on, but she believed in what she had with Alder. His connection with Jesse could be…well, like what their friendship was. Only, a bit more physical.
Or nothing of all might come of it. Jesse had chosen Brave when Alder was available. They might be friends and that’s it. Either way, she wanted Alder to have the choice.
The idea shouldn’t make so much sense to her, but it did. She couldn’t stand by and watch Alder fool around with all kinds of fangirls, but by all accounts, he didn’t do flings. Whatever happened between him and Jesse would mean something.
As Jesse played the guitar, and Alder began to sing, the beauty of the music tightened her throat. They were both too damn modest. Jesse had a natural talent and his fingers moved over the strings as if he’d been born to hold that guitar in his hands.
But even that didn’t compare to the sound of Alder’s voice. He didn’t have the immeasurable power Brave possessed, but his tone was deep and soulful, drawing emotion into every word, the raw expression of longing he brought out making goose bumps rise all over her flesh.
Listening to them was an experience she wouldn’t have missed for the world, but she had to face one very obvious fact she’d missed while plotting out all her ideal plans for them. Her eyes teared as she forced herself to accept the one thing she hadn’t considered.
They didn’t need her for the music. She was only here on the sidelines as they created it, together.
They might not need her if they finally passed all the obstacles standing in their way.
Would she be willing to step aside, so she didn’t end up being yet another one for them to deal with?
She wiped under her eye, grateful both were too into the song to see her struggling with thoughts that hadn’t even occurred to them yet. In such a short time, she’d come to care about them both so much.
If she did nothing, there was no risk of losing Alder, right? Maybe Brave would smarten up and be the man Jesse deserved. Maybe he’d been lying about getting with Jesse because he knew his brother loved the man.
And maybe she’d get that unicorn she’d begged Santa for from the time she was three until she stopped believing at him at eight.
She loved Alder.
Her own admission surprised her, even though she’d suspected as much. The knowledge made her heart swell, and her chest ache, all at once.
I love him.
Which meant absolutely nothing if she was too selfish to let him go.
Chapter Fifteen
Alder combed his hair straight, eying Danica through the mirror in the changing room, wishing he could figure out why she’d been so quiet lately. For the past few days, actually. Not that anyone else noticed. She still smiled and laughed with the guys. Teased Jesse and avoided Brave.
But Alder saw something different in her eyes. A hardened set to her jaw. As if she was very determined. For what, he had no idea.
The shadows under her eyes had faded, so at least she was sleeping better. He’d finally gotten her to admit she missed sleeping with him. They’d even made love in his bunk—very quietly—and for a while after, she’d seemed happier.
That hadn’t lasted for long. He needed to find out what had happened to make her so sad.
Looking back, he tried to place the exact moment things had changed. All he came up with was when she’d been on the bus alone with Brave and Cole that one day, but she’d insisted she was all right.
What else could it be?
“Are you ready?” Danica asked, crossing the dressing room to stand behind him. Her hair was still wet from her shower. She’d be getting her hair and makeup done with the stylist while the band did sound check.
Alder turned and picked her up, spinning around to sit her by the sink. “Not quite. I need to
ask you something.”
Her bottom lip quivered. She bit it hard, then inclined her head. “Okay.”
“But first, you’re going to tell me something. Are you leaving me?”
Her eyes went wide. “What?”
“You’re upset. You’re not telling me why, so I have to guess.” He bowed his head, curving his hands over the top of her bare knees. She was wearing a little, pale blue terrycloth robe, and her skin was still damp from her shower. His dick took notice of all that bare flesh, so easily accessible, but he made himself focus on getting the right words out. “You’ve still got over two weeks on your contract with the band, but Sophie has been looking for other opportunities, right?”
“Yes, but I haven’t agreed to anything.”
“So she’s found you another job?” He fought not to sound disappointed. Their relationship wouldn’t last if she felt bad every time she had to take off. Sure, the first time would be tough, but if what they had was as strong as he believed, the distance wouldn’t matter. What counted was when they were together. “Danica, I want you to take it. Your career means so much to you, which makes it important to me too. If you have to do a runway in Milan, or go back to LA for a casting call, or…hell, even up to the cold North for whatever they do up there…”
“I’ve done runways in Montreal.” She released a small, breathless laugh, staring at his hands. “Actually, I do have one booked in a couple months.”
“Then bring a coat.”
“I always do when I’m up there in the middle of winter.” She cocked her head. “I’m happy you’re cool with me having to leave for work.”
“Good.”
“But I won’t be for awhile. Cole’s trying to extend my contract. I’ll be doing a few music videos with the band and an album cover.”
“That’s awesome!” All right, so she wasn’t upset about having to leave. Which meant he didn’t have the first clue what was wrong. Unless… “Fuck, I’m an idiot. Is it that time of—Ow!”
Damn, the girl is stronger than she looks. He rubbed the center of his chest. Coming away with blood.
She covered her mouth with her hand. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry! Sophie sent me a ring for my birthday and I forgot to take it off!”
He glanced down at the trail of blood and chuckled. “Remind me not to ask about your period ever again.”
“You jerk. You shouldn’t ask—not like that anyway.” She rolled her eyes as she grabbed a towel off the edge of the sink and pressed it to his chest. “I’m not on my period. If I was, you’d be in a lot more pain.”
“I believe you.”
She peeked under the towel. “This is deep. Do you know if there’s a doctor here?”
“It’s a little cut. Give it a few minutes, I’ll be fine.” He took the towel from her, holding it to his chest himself. One of the guys probably had glue or tape. Good news was, Cole probably wouldn’t make him strip on stage. “Happy birthday, by the way. I wish I’d known.”
“It’s not until Saturday. Sophie sent the gift early because she’s heading to Paris tomorrow and she’ll be really busy. We did a video chat while I opened the present.” Danica smiled at the beautiful ring, which had two delicate wings in white gold framing her yellow birthstone. “She wanted to see my reaction.”
“Do you have any intention of telling me what’s actually up with you?”
She bit the tip of her tongue, her brow creasing as though she was thinking hard. “All right, if you must know, it’s Brave.”
I fucking knew it. Me and my big brother are gonna have a fucking talk.
“Stop scowling, he didn’t do anything.” She dropped her gaze to the towel. “Cole brought up Valor. Brave didn’t react well. He got all cold and asked me to leave. I know there’s nothing I can do for him, but I see how divided the band is and I hate it. He pushes everyone away and it’s not right, because you all let him.”
All right, now he felt like an asshole.
Except, he knew his brother a bit better than she did.
“The only thing I can do is make sure Cole backs off. Do you know how the subject came up?”
She nodded. “Cole wants him to write a tribute song. And he wants the band to cover some of LOST’s music.”
Alder cringed. “That would do it. Brave will get even more pissed off if I mention anything to him, but if he had it out with Cole, one of two things will happen. Cole will come to me—in which case, I’ll make it clear the topic is closed—or he’ll wait a little while and ask Brave a different way.”
“I think heading him off would be a good idea.”
“Consider it done.” He smoothed her hair away from her face. “You know, I’ve always been so excited to climb up on stage, to give in to the music and enjoy every fucking second of worship from the fans for what we’ve created. But then I met you and what I feel with them screaming my name is nothing compared to when I hear it from your lips, even in a whisper.”
She gave him a hooded look, drawing him close and whispering in his ear. “Alder.”
He shuddered, cupping the back of her head and setting his teeth lightly into her throat.
“You’re horrible.” She moaned, shoving against his chest, gasping when the towel shifted and fresh blood soaked into the white fabric. She placed her hands on her red cheeks. “I’m all turned on and you have to go. Get that taken care of. And I have to get ready.”
“I’m sorry.” But only a little. He’d willingly go on stage with a hardon, knowing she was as eager as he was to ditch the crowd after the show and find somewhere private. Unless… “How long do you really need with the stylist? I think you look perfect already.”
“You think?” She glanced down at the robe. “I guess I can dance like this. The crowd certainly won’t mind.”
Yeah, the band probably won’t mind either. One wrong move and she’d be flashing them all.
“Not happening.” He latched onto one lapel of the robe and tugged it over the swell of her breasts. “I’m not crazy about you walking around backstage like this either. I get that you trust us, but there’s other bands and they—”
“My stylist is down the hall. And Jesse has one of your security guys trailing me.”
“We hardly know them!”
“He’s Skull’s brother, Alder.” Danica shook her head. “I’ll be fine. You’re the one still bleeding.”
“Let me walk you to the other dressing room. Then I’ll get this taken care of.”
“No. You’re heading in the other direction.”
“It’ll take me a minute to get you there.”
“Damn it, Alder!” She sighed, then hopped off the counter. “Fine, but since you’re not in a hurry, tell me what you were gonna ask when I came in.”
Damn, he’d completely forgotten about that. He scratched his jaw, studying her face, not sure now was the right time to bring up the subject. It was a big step. One she might not be ready for.
He got the door for her, carefully considering his next words. The security guard fell into step behind them silently.
“You’ve got that look again. Stop second guessing yourself with me.” She walked backwards down the hall, frowning at him. “What is it?”
He inhaled roughly and met her eyes. “I want you to live with me.”
She stumbled and he reached out to grab her wrist, dropping the towel. Warmth trailed down the center of his chest.
Danica paled. “Oh, Alder. That looks bad. Please go get it fixed?”
“I will, but—”
“Jesse!” Danica grabbed the towel, her gaze going passed him as she pressed it to his chest. “Will you talk to him please?”
Quick footsteps came up to his side. Jesse cursed as he took the towel from Danica and checked the stupid cut on his chest. “What the fuck, Alder?”
“It’s nothing.” Alder tried to pull away from him, but Jesse took a firm hold on his arm. “Danica, that came out wrong. I don’t mean permanently. Unless you want—”
“D
anica?” A short, plump woman came out of a room at the other end of the hall. “You’re late!”
“I have to go.” Danica gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. There was a flash of pain in her eyes as she turned to Jesse. “Take care of him?”
“I will.” Jesse tugged him in the other direction. He glanced over at the security guard. “Stay with her. I’ve got him.”
With a curt nod, the man in the yellow shirt hurried after Danica.
There was a walky-talky stuck to Jesse’s belt, which he only used when they played big arenas. It went off and Jesse snatched it up.
“Yeah, I’ve got him, but I’m bringing him to the greenroom. Have the EMT meet us. He got a nasty cut on his chest.” He held the walky-talky to his ear, rolling his eyes. “No, I have no fucking clue how it happened. I’ll get him there as soon as I can.”
Shit, it’s just a little fucking cut. Alder jerked away from Jesse, grinding his teeth. “Dude, chill out.”
“Chill out? There’s fucking dried blood on that towel. How long have you been bleeding?”
“Maybe fifteen minutes?”
“And it hasn’t stopped? Fuck this, I’m bringing you to the hospital.”
Like hell you are. “If there’s an EMT here, they can tape it or something. It’s not that bad.”
“I could fucking strangle you, do you know that?” Jesse kept the pressure on Alder’s chest, putting his other hand on the small of Alder’s back as he quickened his pace. “You gonna tell me if me or Danica were bleeding like this, you’d say ‘It’s not that bad’?”
A strange jolt of emotion hit Alder right in the center of his chest at the mention of either of them getting hurt. No, he wouldn’t be all cool. He wouldn’t care about the concert, or anything but making sure they were okay.
If he had no choice, he’d have trusted Jesse with Danica.
Which was a little weird. Yeah, the man was his best friend, but Danica owned his fucking heart. He loved the woman.
You love Jesse too.
Not the same.
You sure about that?
He stopped in his tracks as it hit him. What if Danica thought his relationship with Jesse went beyond friendship? He’d admitted to her that he’d loved Jesse once. Saying that was in the past might not be enough. Jesse and Brave’s relationship didn’t seem all that stable. Jesse clearly wasn’t happy.
Backlash (Winter's Wrath #1) Page 22
