I love these men so damned much. I want them more than I’ve ever wanted anything, and I can’t bear to lose them or see them lose each other.
“Please don’t do this, baby.” Keith gestures toward the back entrance to the museum we’ve spent hours of blood, sweat, and tears getting arranged and organized. “Be happy. All the question and doubt … it’s over,” Keith breathes against my face. “No more tears. No more worries. No more fucking nauseous cinnamon. I’ll have this taken care of before you walk back through the door. Or fuck, we can shut the place down. Once and for all. And I’ll take care of you—always. A promise is a promise.” He pulls me closer to his chest and rests his forehead against mine, his gaze peering upward and into the eyes of the man he loves. “And Jason isn’t going anywhere. Even if I have to beat his ass to make him stay.”
There’s a strength, a depth to Keith’s tone, but his words come out strained and brittle, like tears are lodged in his throat.
“If I could go back to that day and take Rylee’s place, her pain, her suffering, and if it meant keeping you happy, never crying another tear, never feeling another pang of guilt, I’d gladly trade places,” Jason adds.
With that, I’m spinning around to face him. “Then why are you doing this? Do you love Keith? Do you love me? Do you love us?” I feel the color bleed from my face as a shaky nervousness floods my veins. “Your heart, Jason,” I say in a whisper. “It’s beautiful. Sincere and true. And your smile—it’s infectious. Just like your charm, your voice, your laugh. Jesus, your demeanor is addicting.” I step back and face both men.
“Almost fifteen years ago, the two of you drew me in, along with precious Rylee. You both offered us compassion and a kindness I’d never felt before, one Rylee certainly hadn’t. You turned all my insecurities into stability and security. For a while, until that dreadful day that none of us will ever know why or how it happened, you gave Rylee hope and happiness that she didn’t get from her family. You didn’t judge her. Didn’t rib her about her weight difficulties. Before, I got it. But now, I actually understand. And this”—I point to the museum I’ve hated most my life—“is what just made me realize that I’m here because I love you both, and I’ll be damned if I let the two of you end a beautiful relationship over me.” I stare up a blank-faced Keith. “Close this place down if you want. Hire someone else to run it if you choose, or let us all stay right here in Springhill and keep doing what we do. If not, th—then, then let me go. And live your lives … together. We’re only here for a short time, so...”
“Jen.”
“Don’t.” I hold up my hand at Jason. “Let me finish. Please. I know what you’re doing trying to be the hero, the fighter, the brave one who faces the most challenging obstacle. But even heroes and warriors remove their weapons and brass knuckles. Even the strongest SEAL needs love and peace and security.” I take Jason’s hand then Keith’s and hold them up to my chest.
“This love between us is indestructible. It’s lasted for over a decade. And I know in my heart that it will last a lifetime, but only if we allow it. Yes, this will take courage. And it won’t always be easy. But we all know that nothing worth having ever comes easy. I don’t know how to do this either.” I raise Keith’s hand to my lips. “I think I loved you the minute I looked into your eyes that first day of school. They were soft, warm, and kind, not judgmental, not egotistical. After a month, I knew I loved you.” I lift Jason’s hand and place it on my cheek. “And you. The first time I heard you strum a guitar, I thought you were one of the most handsome, provocative guys I’d ever laid sight to. And I … wanted you as well that day. And the next. If you want to be angry, then be angry. At me! For returning to Springhill and uprooting this great love the two of you have shared for well over a decade. But my God, Jason, don’t do something you will regret. Don’t leave the man you love. Don’t leave the woman who loves you.”
Jason squeezes his eyes shut and presses his cheek into my hand.
“Look at me, Jason. Both of you look at me. Hear me. Believe me.” Brown and blue gazes lock with mine. “Maybe I’m just crazy. Maybe there’s a screw loose somewhere inside me, or twenty, but I’ve known since I was eighteen years old that I loved you two with every cell of my body. Please,” I whisper while peering deep into Jason’s hazy blue eyes. “When one or both of you have the time, take me to see Ladonna Fisher so I can find out once and for all what really happened to my best friend that day. Be beside me. Be my strength, my backbone. I don’t know if she’ll even talk to us, or me, but I need to try. I need to move on. But I can’t do this alone. And then, we decide, together, who leaves Springhill. We decide as a—”
Keith’s phone dings and he glances away, a frown crossing his face as he stares into the screen. “I need to get to the ranch. Rock says he’s found some dead cattle.”
Chapter Sixteen
Keith
“Motherfuck! How many are there?”
Rock takes a long swig out of a water bottle and rolls it across his sweat-beaded forehead. “Found five carcasses over on the south end right up against the fence closest to the road. All five had blood seeping out their noses and asses. Looks like anthrax. Lucky we found them and disposed of them before any scavengers opened them up. What’s next, boss?”
“Not but one thing we can do. Get into town and buy all the fencing you can find. Order whatever else you think we need. Then let’s try to quarantine that whole area. But first we need to get the rest of the herd moved over to the west side and get them vaccinated immediately. Fuck! This is the last damn thing I need right now.”
“Sorry, boss. I’ll get busy on getting the herd moved first thing and send Jed into town to check on that fencing. Then we can get to fixin’ everything that needs fixin’.”
“Thanks, man.” I take my best herder’s hand and shake then send him on his way out the back door. Six years ago, Rock turned up on my doorstep with nothing but a backpack on his shoulder, asking for work. Said he’d just been released from the Texas State Penitentiary at Huntsville after serving six years for armed robbery and admitting he had fucked up royally once but damn sure had no plans to make it a second. I was short on help and took the chance and brought him on as a herder. Best damn help I’ve had.
I’d trust the man with my life.
“I don’t eat my fish raw, sweetheart,” I hear Jason saying through a sweep of sweet, feminine laughter as I near the doorway of the living room with a knot already forming in my throat.
Sitting side-by-side on the sofa, both are drinking a dark beer, both brushing the occasional hand over each other like they’re dying to crawl up each other’s bodies and fuck themselves to death. A look of joy seems to have etched its way back into Jason’s face as Jen smiles up at him with her green eyes shimmering like emeralds and the tips of her nipples raised and erect through the Band-Aid of a sleeveless shirt she’s wearing. Watching them tightens my chest to such a degree that if feels like a vise is doing its best to squeeze the breath from me. My body hardens to an ache that feels like a slow-burning fire.
Thoughts of either of them leaving Springhill guts me. They’re my life. My damn reason for breathing and the only reason I’m not losing my complete mind over this anthrax outbreak.
“Have you even tasted sushi, Jason?” Jen swallows a drink of Guinness, and Jason does the same then places his hand on Jen’s thigh.
“Damn sure haven’t and don’t plan on it.”
I scrub my hands over the top of my head with my blood warming when I watch Jason rub his thumb gently against the white denim of her jeans. I exhale in a rush, and emerald and sapphire gazes instantly turn to meet mine, both clenching and embracing. His eyes are wide, scorchingly blue and hungry, while hers are warm, bright, and kind, like someone who’s just soothed a crying baby or fixed someone their favorite meal.
“Is it anthrax for sure?” Jen asks.
“Looks that way, unfortunately.”
Jason’s expression hardens with the news. “What doe
s that mean for the auction?”
“Not too sure right now. Infection in calves is rare, and they’ve been vaccinated. Most are on the west side and not the south, so I’m hoping for the best.”
A gasp sounds from Jen’s chest. “Oh my God! What about Minnie Pearl? Anthrax takes down deer fast.”
With naïve innocence flashing in her expression, I find it so damned seductive that I almost want to get in my truck and go search for the damn doe myself. “No way to be sure, sugar, but if this damn shit has spread, chances for Minnie Pearl are slim to none.”
The muscles of her chin tremble and tears build in the corners of her eyes, both of which feel like a powerful force urging me toward her and finding warm, soft lips and a welcoming, needy body. I want my damn hands on her. Fuck, I want and need my hands on them both.
“Come here, boy.”
Jen’s throat bobs with a swallow as Jason straightens and rises to his feet, only to take two long strides and stop a little over a footstep from my face.
“You too, baby girl.”
With my chest tight and my pulse racing through my ears, I hold nothing back and twist my fingers through Jen’s hair and pull her close to my face then do the same to Jason. I see a softness in Jen’s expression yet a torment in Jason’s. “Both of you … I need to know what you need. Goddammit, what do the two of you want?”
Jen’s breath hitches while Jason’s hungry eyes send heat searing across my skin.
“Right now,” Jen almost whispers, “I just think you need to kiss … Jason. I think I need you to kiss Jason. Then I think I need to go home for a bit and give the two of you some personal time to talk about everything that’s happening and everything that needs to not happen.”
Her words shoot fire through my blood as her eyes leave mine and focus on Jason, where they stay. I’ve been with plenty of women. Jason has fucked his share. But thoughts of where this moment could be leading sends nerves racing up my thighs and straight into my loins. With Jason, our personal time has been our time, for our eyes only and nowhere except behind closed doors. Neither of us has either mentioned or considered sharing a woman. Not once. But this isn’t just any woman. Nor is it some random chance for a meaningless threesome. This is Jennifer Boylan, a rare form of beauty and desire. A woman we both love as deeply as we love each other. And this thing between us is more than lust, more than control and power, more than convenience or just fucking. Some friends happen for a reason, and some last only a season, but this is about a nearly fifteen-year-old friendship that’s never died. One that’s real and true with a love strong enough to challenge, fight, and defend.
I’d walk through flames for either of them.
Jen’s gaze flickers back to mine, and she stares up at me in that way she always does. Softly, femininely, submissively. “Then what I want, what I need, is to see the two of you together, to feel the love between you, watch the bond you share, then feel you both … inside me.”
With a hot stream of need spiraling through my groin, my fingertips leave Jen’s soft face and reach for Jason’s throat, where I squeeze just long enough to see his dick harden in his jeans and feel the familiar rise of a groan. With my hands on either side of his neck, I ease my grip and pull him against my lips.
“Look at me, boy.”
He does as I say and looks at me, but with a confidence, a strength, a power in his eyes like a blue sky just before the storm.
“Do you still want this? Do you still want me? Her? Us?”
Jason draws in a jagged breath, his eyes unflinching. “You know I damn well do. But it changes nothing, Keith. I care too much about you, about Jen. The people in this town will fucking crucify her should they discover how we’re living. And you know as well as I do it could affect your cattle sales. I’m making this move, with or without your blessing.”
“So, you’re honestly going to uproot your whole life, our lives, on the basis of gossip? You really give a goddamn what these people here think? Enough to throw away your happiness? Give up everything you’ve wanted for nearly fifteen years? I never took you to be a pussy.”
“A pussy? Really? Fuck you, Keith.”
“Fuck you right back, Jason.”
I rub a hand over the tension pounding behind my temple and watch Jason tug at his hair with a sadness, a bitterness, and an exasperation in the finality between us. We’ve had similar discussions dozens of times. We’ve argued, disagreed, and challenged each other. But this is different. This is final. This is a closing. This is motherfucking terminal. And even with rage simmering through me, I can’t let him walk away. Not like this. Not yet.
“What do you want, boy? To walk away and never look back? To never taste Jen’s pussy again? Never taste my burning cock? I won’t ask again, so just tell me what you want.”
Silence between us is like a painful cold chill, a wretched dark and gloomy taciturnity. He holds my gaze with an icy hostility, his eyes hard and fixed.
“Answer me!”
He doesn’t, and without another word, I’m cupping the back of his head and pulling his lips against mine, where I swallow them urgently and greedily, stroking into him deeply with a long kiss that is punishing and cruel and laced with torment and agony, one that has my pulse through the roof and every muscle in my body throbbing.
His hand reaches for the hard steel between my legs, and he palms me through the rough fabric with his eyes open wide, his tongue tangling with mine, and returning every bit of the kiss that is harsh and raw and severe and that only deepens the desperation to pull the belt from my waist, strip him bare, and leave my marks all over his pretty ass and firm thighs. Every inch of my body is achingly hard, my fingers itching to hurt him, to punish him like I’ve never done in the past, for the days of long, tortuous hell he’s put me through and for threatening to walk out of my life and my soul, all before fucking him so deeply and so viciously that he feels it for days to come.
“Keith,” Jason murmurs against my lips. “I need your hands on me, your cock between my lips. And I fucking need Jen. Christ, I need you both.”
I tear my mouth from his, my heart beating rapidly against my chest, Jason’s face flushed. “Baby girl.” I gesture her toward us.
She winds her arms around her mid-section, her eyes glazed, dilated, shining like priceless green jade, those pretty nipples of hers stiff and erect under the paper-thin tank top. “That what you wanted to see?”
She nods and blows out a long breath. “My God. The two of you are so beautiful. I’ve seen men together before, but nothing like this. You breathe each other’s air. You’re in each other’s souls. The bond between you is indestructible. I can only hope that one day I can be a part of your bond, a part of your air, a part of your hearts.”
Jason’s fingers brush her cheek. “You already are sweetheart. You always have been.”
“Then turn down the job. Please, Jason. Stay here. Where you belong.”
“Jen, I’ve already accepted the job.”
“My freaking God, Jason! Then un-accept it, you hardheaded idiot! You love this man,” Jen pleads, sounding wounded. “You’re literally seconds from climbing up his body. And Keith … he’s so damn hard underneath that zipper that he looks like he’s going to shatter. Don’t you want to feel that? Bursting inside of you? Quivering and pulsing and warming you as he gives you another little piece of his soul?”
“Christ, Jen.” Jason sighs then looks my way, and I can instantly read his thoughts, recognize his expression, and see the need flickering in his eyes. Our gazes stay locked, studying and contemplating as the fire and urgency between us ignites like it’s done for almost fifteen years.
Jen gathers her purse, and I watch a shiver creep through her body as she takes a step closer and inhales a shaky breath. “Spend some time with the man you love. Work this thing out between you,” she says with her eyes on mine. “This is Jason’s home, here with you. You’re his family. His life. The two of you … you make sense. And whatever you decide, I�
�ll agree. I’ll abide.” A single tear rolls down her cheek that feels like a hot poker stabbing through my chest. “I love you both enough to walk away. I could never live with myself if I came between the two of you.”
I cringe at her words that I feel through my bones then cup her face.
“No one walks away. My bedroom. One hour, sugar. You. Me. Jason. Together.”
Chapter Seventeen
Jen
Captivating. Hypnotizing. Passion and affirmation. Keith and Jason are all these things, and so very much more. My breath is a vapor, the wood floor underneath me like sheets of ice carpeting the ground during a rare, but stinging Texas wintry cold front. Frigid air blasts through the air conditioning vents, and cold licks my face and creeps underneath my clothes as I watch the two men I love kiss and savor one another like they could never survive being apart.
This is no fantasy. No figment of my imagination. No dream.
This is reality. This is certainty. This is the man I’ve loved for nearly a lifetime, and his lover, whom I’ve lusted for just as long and grown to love just as deeply. Both are beautifully naked. Both are hot, erect, and reaching for each other frantically, desperately, while feeling, burning, and living off one another. One, or maybe both of them, moan, and I feel their urgency in my nipples, in my belly, and in my core as I watch them tearing and eating at each other’s mouths like animals in the wild ripping apart bloody-red flesh. Gut-filled needy sounds of passion and desire echo through the bedroom. Greedy hands touch each other hungrily, breathlessly, like they’re starved to prove their unrelenting, profound love.
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