by M. J. Haag
“That’s great,” Mya said. “Establishing some fresh produce now would go a long way in a few months. Especially if the supply runs keep getting harder. Help yourself to what’s there. I’ll put the word out that the fey should look for some more lights.”
Cassie and Mya stayed for a while, talking about Whiteman and Tolerance and all the survivors and fey. It was interesting to get a glimpse into their lives here at Tolerance. The more they talked about the hardships that both places were facing, though, the more I knew I couldn't ask for additional food in front of Mya. At least, not without having a damn good reason. So when they were ready to leave, I pasted a smile on my face and said nothing.
I would try to catch Cassie later.
MY STOMACH MADE a pathetic gurgling sound, a protest at being empty after two meals of Julie's amazing breakfast casserole. It wanted more. Unfortunately, I didn't have anything else.
Sitting at the kitchen table, I tapped my fingers on the wooden surface and studied the cloudy sky through the window. The sun was only an hour from setting. Surely, Cassie would be home by now.
I got up from the table and put on my jacket. If I couldn't find Cassie at home, I'd walk around until I found her. I couldn’t put off talking to her for another day.
When I opened the door, I noticed tiny, white flakes drifting down. The last thing we needed was more snow and cold. However, those were the two elements that winter typically liked to dish up in this state. Thankfully, my numerous layers of clothes kept me warm.
A fey walked down the sidewalk, carrying a box in his arms. He nodded at me when he saw me but didn’t stop. My eyes stayed glued to what he carried. There was no mistaking the gigantic jar of pickles peeking out from the top of that box.
Without giving it a second thought, I began to follow. The dude walked fast, his long legs expanding the space between us. I had to work to keep up. My breath puffed out of me in small, white clouds. I don't know what outcome I was expecting by following him. A cache of food at the end of a rainbow? Maybe even a cookout in someone's backyard? Both dreams. Instead, the fey walked right up to someone's house and let himself inside.
Crap.
I pretended to keep walking as a light went on. Through the windows, I saw rows of shelving units. It didn't seem like someone's house but more of a—
I grinned and walked toward the house. Just as I reached the door, it swung open.
“Is this the supply shed?” I asked.
“Yes.” The fey held the door for me and watched me closely for a moment before closing it.
I wasn’t worried about him telling someone. I had permission to be in there. Granted, this wasn’t my goal, but now that I was inside, I’d have a look. There was a table in the middle of the room that now held the box with the big pickle jar. Around the table were the shelves. Most of them were bare. But toward the back, there was still food. Plenty of food to feed me for over a week.
My mouth watered at the thought, and I set my hand on my belly. It gurgled and demanded it's due.
“I know you're hungry, baby dill. But we can't take this.”
I thought back to the promise I’d made the baby growing inside of me. Before finding out I was pregnant, I hadn’t been on a great path. Parties. Guys. Lots of alcohol. Some weed. It’d been a blast. However, my life had shifted the moment I took the pregnancy test. It’d been like a gong had gone off in my head, bringing a level of perspective I’d never had.
I’d realized just how much I wanted a baby. Someone to love, who would love me unconditionally in return. Or, at least, until it turned three. After that, I knew it’d be a gamble. However, none of those future hardships had scared me off. I’d promised the baby I’d keep it safe and do everything in my power to give it an amazing life.
I hadn’t counted on earthquakes, hellhounds, zombies, or the fey.
“When I made my promise, it wasn't just to keep you alive and safe. It was a promise to be a better person. A mom you’d be proud of. While stealing this food would make you very happy in the short term, it wouldn’t make you proud in the long-term.”
I walked along the rows of shelves and looked for the seeds that Mya had mentioned. Seeing cans of tuna fish and boxes of cheesy noodle dinners made my mouth water. Such a simple meal, and I would have given anything for it.
The seeds were tucked away near the back, close to several cases of empty canning jars. I looked through the box and pulled out a few packets that would grow quickly. Radishes and lettuce. Yum.
Having taken what I’d needed, I left the house. As I did, I noticed all the fey silently watching from the growing dark outside.
“Shadow ninjas,” I said in awe.
One nodded to me, and I gave a quick smile in return before tucking my hands in my pockets and heading for Cassie's house.
When I reached her place, the lights were on and the curtains pulled closed.
Ignoring the “go away” vibe, I knocked on the front door. A familiar fey opened it only a few moments later.
“Hey, Kerr. Could I talk to Cassie please?”
“Come in.” He stepped back to let me inside.
I willingly followed him into the kitchen. The scent of cooked meat drew me more than his welcoming smile. Not that there really was a smile.
Cassie sat at the table with her kids. One wiggled in a highchair. He couldn't have been more than a year old, if that. The other one, a girl, sat in a chair beside Cassie. Thanks to the tyke’s booster seat, she could see the helping of noodles and stew on her plate. I tried to stay focused on the people and not the food.
“Well hi, Angel,” Cassie said with a smile. “What brings you out tonight?”
“I was hoping I could talk to you for a minute. I'm sorry about interrupting your dinner.” I tried not to drool as I spoke.
“Don’t worry about it. Kerr, why don't you get Angel a chair?” He grunted and left the room. “You can join us,” Cassie said as she placed a few chunks of cooked carrot on her son’s tray. “It's more fun eating in a group than sitting in the house by yourself.”
I was already halfway out of my jacket by the time she finished speaking.
“Thank you.” There was no way I was stupid enough to say no to an invitation for food.
While Kerr looked for a chair, Cassie got me a plate. The extra-large serving she scooped out made me want to cry and cheer at the same time.
“Don't think I didn't notice how quickly you ate that casserole this morning,” she said. “Don't be shy about eating as much as you need. If you run out of supplies, just let me know.”
“About that. I don't have any supplies. I checked every inch of that house, and there's not a drop of food in it.”
Cassie’s face turned to one of shock.
“I am so sorry. I never thought to check.”
Kerr returned with a chair and set it down next to the highchair. I sat and thanked him before turning to Cassie.
“I figured the lack of food was an oversight. It’s no big deal.”
“It is. You need a consistent diet. I'll have one of the fey bring a box over tonight.”
I loaded a huge bite onto my fork and shoved it into my mouth. It was so good. For the next several minutes, I consumed their food. I tried to take it slow and drink between bites, but it wasn't easy.
“I'll see if I can't find you some dehydrated milk, too,” Cassie said. “The food options we have aren’t as rounded as you need.”
“I don’t mind. I'm happy with anything. I swear.”
When I cleaned my plate, I set my fork down and actually took a moment to look at the other occupants. Kerr kept glancing at me. My table manners were probably horrible. Not that I really cared. I just wanted the food.
The little girl across from me smiled once she met my gaze.
“Hi,” I said. “My name is Angel.”
“My name is Lilly. That’s my brother Caden. We thought he was dead.”
“Um...” I looked at Cassie.
She looked just as startled by
that last bit as I was.
“It's a miracle he's with us,” Cassie said in quiet agreement. “Lilly’s father's friend, Dawnn, kept Caden safe for us.”
I recalled Cassie mentioning Dawnn from this morning.
“I'm glad he had her,” I said.
“Me too.”
The fact that there were still a few people out there willing to protect babies meant something. I wasn’t ready to go shouting out that I was pregnant yet, but this made me feel a little bit better.
“Is Uncle Shax going to be coming over after dinner again?” Lilly asked.
“I'm not sure,” Cassie answered.
“Uncle Shax?” I asked.
Cassie smiled slightly.
“Kerr calls all the fey his brothers. The title seemed appropriate.”
“He comes over a lot?”
“Caden is a bit of a novelty,” she said, reaching over to wipe her son's chin. “The fey have never seen a baby before.”
The baby moved inside of me, a reminder of my ticking clock. The fey would be in for one hell of a shock in a few weeks.
CHAPTER FIVE
I HUMMED, drank the rest of the milk in my bowl, then poured myself a third helping.
“This is the life, little lucky charm.” I patted my pleasantly full belly then poured more milk.
I never thought I'd see milk again. It didn't matter that it was reconstituted from powder. It tasted like the real thing. At least, as much as I could remember the taste of the real thing. I figured it’d been almost eight weeks since the quakes. It wasn’t easy to keep track, though.
I took another large bite of breakfast and took my time chewing. Last night, one of the fey dropped off a box filled with food. A lot of food. I didn’t know where it came from because I’d seen what was in the storage shed and a lot of what I’d received wasn’t what had been there. Not that I cared. Food was food, and I was grateful. And, being well fed yesterday sure made today's meal more enjoyable. I could eat slower.
The edge of my hunger was gone for the most part, which probably had something to do with the fact that I knew there was more food in my immediate future. I glanced at the cupboard still hanging open so I could stare at the nice supply of food in there. Enough for three square meals for four days.
The fey who had dropped off the food had assured me he would be back in three days with more food. Well before I ran out. I smiled and took another bite. I knew coming to Tolerance was a good idea.
The door to the kitchen flew open, startling my half-chewed bite out of my mouth. The glob fell to the table with a splat.
“What the hell, Shax?”
“She will not talk to me.” He strode into the room, closed the door with another bang, and took off his jacket. I didn’t mind his intrusion, just the loss of food. It was nice having his company. And his drama, as sad as it was for him, kept me from going completely crazy with boredom.
“Sit down and tell me what happened,” I said. I got up to fetch the washcloth from the sink and cleaned up my mess while he sat.
“I did what you said. I spent quality time with my Hannah, and it did not work.”
“Hold on. Backup. Tell me exactly what you did for your quality time and exactly how she responded.”
I rinsed the washcloth out and sat back at the table. While he talked, I continued to eat.
“It was nice. I went to her house and just listened. She told me about her time before the earthquakes. She misses that life very much. She misses her family very much. I know more about Hannah, now. When she ran out of things to say, I offered to make her dinner. She said yes. So I knew I was being a good listener.”
I hid my smile by wiping my mouth with a napkin.
“What did you make her for dinner?” I managed after a moment.
“Noodles with the red sauce that tastes awful. But I did not complain. I ate it. And she liked it. When we were finished, we watched a movie together. I did not ask to see her pussy. I did not ask for a kiss.”
“Good job. What happened next?”
“While we watched the movie, I started to rub her feet like you showed me. She did not say no.”
I couldn't wait to hear what happened next. Instead of talking, though, he growled slightly and pressed his hands down on the table.
“The suspense is killing me. Talk Shax. What happened?”
“I did what you said, but it didn't work.”
He was going to make me waste my cereal on his head if he didn’t tell me in the next two seconds.
“What exactly did you do?”
“She made a sound. When I was rubbing the bottom of her foot. It was a groan. A small one. So, I moved up a little. Not far. Just to her beautiful ankle. Her skin was so soft.”
I could tell by the tone of his voice I was losing him.
“Stay with me, Shax. What happened next?”
“She pulled her foot away. When I asked her if she did not like the foot rub, she said she did, but she already knew where it was headed and did not want to go there. She said she has kissed me once already and does not intend to do so again. Then she told me I should leave. Now, this morning, she will not answer her door.”
He looked at me accusingly like it was all my fault.
“That seems pretty final, Shax.”
I looked down at my cereal and contemplated what to do next.
“Why would she say she does not want to kiss me again? Kissing is good.”
“It can be, but maybe—”
I looked up at him.
“You need to kiss me like I’m Hannah.”
His expression changed to one of complete horror.
“This is just for teaching and learning, Shax, like when I sat in your lap and made you grab my boobs.” That just made him look more opposed to the idea. “Stop being a baby and just kiss me so I can tell you if it’s good or not.”
“If what is good?”
“Your kissing skills. Maybe that's why Hannah doesn't want to kiss you again. Maybe you're not a good kisser.”
His expression changed ever-so-slightly, closing off. I’d just unintentionally hurt his feelings big time.
“Hey, don't worry about this. If the kissing isn't up to par, it's something we can work on. People can become great kissers. It's a skill that you can learn like any other.”
He grunted and nodded, so I knew I had his consent.
“Before we get down to business, I need to brush my teeth, so you don't taste my breakfast.” I stood and hesitated, glancing at him.
“Do you guys brush your teeth? I mean, I'm not trying to be rude or anything. I just don't know what your hygiene routine is.”
“Yes. Mya told us we must brush our teeth in the morning and at night.”
“That’s good.”
I went off to brush my teeth, and when I returned, Shax was pacing the kitchen.
“Relax, big guy. Take a seat.”
He grunted and sat on the kitchen chair which made him closer to my height. I moved toward him and nudged his legs apart so I could stand between them.
He watched me closely as if I was getting ready to bite his nose off instead of kiss him.
I set my hands on his shoulders and felt him tense. There was no way he’d kiss well when he was that nervous. I needed to distract him.
“Kissing isn’t just about a physical connection of lips and tongue,” I said. “It’s an emotional one, too.”
Some of the tension eased from his shoulder.
“For example, if both people aren’t in the mood for a kiss, the kiss won’t be great.”
“How do I—?”
“Shh.” I placed my finger over his lips.
“You’re only allowed to listen and feel until we’re done. You can ask questions afterwards, all right?”
He frowned and nodded.
“Besides, I already know what you were going to ask. You set the mood with words first.” I let my gaze drift over his face. “You’re a very handsome man, Shax. Any woman would be l
ucky to have you.” I lifted a hand and trailed a finger along his jaw. “Strong yet kind.” I traced his brow. “Amazing eyes.” He blinked slowly, and I felt a shift in his mood. He was almost there.
I left his face to trace the edge of the ear poking from his hair.
“And adorable ears.”
His jaw twitched as I played with the tip, and I knew I had him. When I leaned in, there was hunger in his gaze.
“Like I’m Hannah,” I whispered just before my lips brushed his.
He hesitated a moment then his warm, firm lips pressed against mine. While he was imagining Hannah, I knew exactly who I was kissing. A tingle of excitement raced through me at the feel of his teeth and his hands as he gripped my arms.
I parted my lips and licked him lightly.
He growled and opened his mouth. I was lost to the touch and taste of him. He didn’t kiss. He possessed. There was nothing tender in it, only raw need.
I threaded my fingers into his hair and held on for dear life, each thrust of his tongue stoking a fire within me that had been dormant for too long.
One moment I was standing between his legs and the next I was against a wall with my legs wrapped around his waist. I could feel every inch of the erection he had pressed against me. I groaned into his mouth and ground my hips against him.
Then, the baby kicked.
I broke the kiss and scrambled out of Shax’s arms. He turned slowly to face me. His pupils were so dilated they almost looked humanly round instead of their normal slits.
We stared at each other, both breathing raggedly. I waited for his accusations. His gaze didn’t dip to my belly, though.
Instead of speaking, he stepped toward me. I had no idea what to do. Was he going to yank up my shirt to make sure before he said anything?
I clenched my hands into fists and swore at my stupidity. Why had I thought the problem was with his skills? Everything the fey did was over the top amazing. Of course, Shax’s kissing would be out of this world. Stupid, Angel. No. Stupid, Hannah. What the hell was wrong with that girl? I wanted to jump Shax on the spot.
He took another step, closing the distance and reaching for me.
“Shax, I don’t know what to say,” I said shakily.
