Riding on Instinct

by Jaci Burton

Page 29

  Author: Jaci Burton

  Wave after wave shattered her, grabbed her by the throat and cut off her breath. She was seized with spasms so strong she couldn’t see, could only feel Spence everywhere as he pummeled her with the sweetest sensations she’d ever experienced.

  Spence pushed deep, groaned, and shuddered, then fell forward across her back, panting out deep, hot breaths against her neck while he rode out his orgasm.

  She struggled for sanity, for breath. She had never imagined sex could be like this, that it could be this good. She’d known passion, but not so intense. She’d never in her life wanted to give herself so completely to a man.

  Long, silent moments passed in which all she heard was the sound of each of them breathing. Through all that time Spence touched her, ran his hands over her legs, her arms, and kissed her neck. She never once felt like this was just sex for him.

  Maybe that’s what was so different—the way he touched her, connected to her. She didn’t understand it, she just knew it meant something.

  He finally withdrew and took them both into the bathroom, turned on the shower, and drew her in there with him. He washed her, held her, and kissed her. His actions were so tender it nearly moved her to tears.

  He was so incongruous, this tough guy who had a heart he didn’t want to expose, didn’t want to share. But he had, just enough to give her a glimpse into the hurt little boy who longed for someone to love, and tried to mask his needs under a shield of armor. She knew all about those kinds of needs.

  He needed her. Just like she needed him.

  And she knew, deep down, that neither of them was going to get what they needed out of this relationship at the end.

  FIFTEEN

  SPENCE LEFT SHADOE TO HERSELF IN THE MORNING. HE GOT UP early and went to meet with AJ and Pax. AJ had texted him saying the bellman told him DeLaud was on the move.

  He caught up with them at a restaurant off the docks. They sat in a corner booth. Spence slid in next to Pax, his back to the door.

  “Where is he?”

  AJ motioned with his head to the window. “Eating breakfast in the restaurant across the street. You can see him if you look through the window. First booth near the door. ”

  Spence took a look, spotted DeLaud talking to a waitress. He was alone.

  “Has he met anyone?”

  Pax shook his head. “No. As soon as we got the heads-up from the bellman we hauled ass and followed him. He was on foot since this place is just a couple blocks, so he was easy to follow. He slid into that place and took a booth, so we came in here, figured we’d have a good vantage point to do surveillance without him making us. That way we can still hang out at the club tonight and watch him there, too. ”

  Spence ordered breakfast, downed his first cup of coffee, and watched DeLaud eat and read the paper. By the time their food had arrived, DeLaud had finished eating but continued to drink coffee.

  “I think he’s doing the crossword puzzle,” AJ said.

  “Maybe we’ll do it, too. ” Pax motioned to the newspaper sitting at the end of their table. “And if we come up with a word we can’t figure out, we can run across the street and ask him to help. ”

  Spence rolled his eyes, but perked up when a couple of guys who looked to be dockworkers came through the door of the restaurant and slid into the booth with DeLaud.

  “We need a tail on those two,” he said.

  AJ nodded. “We’ll split up when those two leave. I’ll follow them. Pax can keep an eye on DeLaud. ”

  Frustration ate at Spence as he watched the three across the street engaged in conversation. “This would be a lot easier if we could bug him. ”

  “Hard to do unless you can shove a bug up his ass,” Pax mumbled.

  AJ grinned. “Maybe Shadoe can snuggle up to him and manage to get one up there. ”

  Spence glared at him.

  “Or, maybe not,” AJ said, holding his hands up, then exchanged another knowing glance with Pax.

  Spence knew what they were thinking.

  “Be careful,” Pax said. “We’re kind of broke right now and we can’t afford wedding gifts. ”

  AJ snickered.

  “Very funny. We’re not getting married. We’re not even dating. ”

  “No, you’re just fucking her. That’s even worse, because it’s obvious you’re falling in love with her. ” AJ had a look of horror on his face that almost made Spence laugh, because it was the same look he used to give when he thought about relationships with women.

  “I’m not in love with her. I hardly know her. ”

  “You know her enough to be jealous at the thought of her being with someone else. ”

  “We’re on a mission. ”

  AJ shrugged. “So? You’ve fucked women on missions before and never gave a shit what they did. Why is this one different?”

  Why was she different? For a lot of reasons. For no reason. She wasn’t different. It was just being here—New Orleans—that brought out all his damned emotions, something he normally kept well under control. And Shadoe bore the brunt of his rare display of feeling, that was all. It had nothing to do with her. She was just the bystander.

  He took a long swallow of coffee. “It’s nothing. We’re not involved. ”

  AJ exchanged another look with Pax.

  “Would you two knock that off? It’s fucking weird. You’re like a hive mind or something. ”

  Pax snorted. “You’re just jealous. ”

  Spence rolled his eyes. “Of what? The fact that the two of you have to share a woman all the time? That you can’t manage to fuck one on your own? No thanks. I don’t share. And what’s that about anyway?”

  AJ shrugged. “Something that just happened, and turns out we like it that way. It works for us. ”

  “Why?”

  “You don’t get involved if you keep it fun. And doing a three-way is never serious,” Pax said.

  “You’re that afraid of commitment?”

  AJ laughed. “And you aren’t?”

  “I don’t need to have another guy fuck a woman with me as a way to avoid being alone with her. ” Spence knew it had to be something more than that. Pax and AJ always did three-ways. Always. For as long as he could remember.

  “You find something you enjoy, you stick with it,” AJ said, then leaned back with his coffee cup in his hand.

  “Whatever gets you off,” Spence said, glad he’d managed to turn the conversation away from Shadoe and him.

  Pax grinned. “It does. ”

  DeLaud stood, dragging Spence’s attention away from Pax and AJ. They all stared out the window and watched as DeLaud and the two other guys exited the restaurant, then went around to the alley. DeLaud’s gaze roamed around as if he were looking for someone. Or maybe he wanted to make sure he wasn’t being watched.

  Once inside the alley, the three huddled close together, with DeLaud’s back to them.

  “Did you see that?” AJ asked.

  “Yeah,” Spence said, frowning. “Something exchanged hands. ”

  “I didn’t see what it was,” Pax said. “Could be drugs. ”

  “It might not be, though. We can’t be sure. ”

  “We’re public and it’s not like we could set up surveillance equipment here. ” Spence wished it were that easy, but it wasn’t that kind of assignment.

  DeLaud exited the alley and headed south. The other two guys went back toward the docks.

  “I’ll follow the guys,” Pax said, standing. “If they’re selling drugs, I might just be in the market for some. It should be easy enough to get a hit there. Drug dealers are always easy to spot. Maybe we can follow them up the food chain. ”

  AJ stood, too. “I’m on DeLaud. I’ll keep you posted. ”

  Both of them shot out the front door and disappeared into the crowd of tourists, leaving Spence at the table with his coffee, and the check. He shook his head
, smiled, and took the bill to the counter to pay.

  SHADOE WAS NERVOUS. SHE KNEW UNDERCOVER WORK WAS AN integral part of her job, and she was about as undercover as an agent could get. After all, she was taking her clothes off every night.

  But tonight, she was going to be required to put on an award-winning performance. She was going to have to act as if she hated someone she was growing to care deeply about. And she was going to have to walk away from him.

  Then again, she might as well get used to it, since that’s exactly what was going to happen when this assignment was over. She was going to walk away. So this would be good practice for the real thing, right?

  Not even close, Shadoe. This was playacting. It wasn’t time to leave Spence. Yet even the thought of that day—which was coming, all too soon—made her stomach clench. And that wasn’t good. Because it meant she was growing attached, that she’d developed feelings for Spence, something she’d sworn she wouldn’t do.

  This was all supposed to be fun and games, no strings, just sex. It was turning into a lot more than that, at least for her. And no matter how she tried to talk herself out of feeling anything for him, she couldn’t. She was going to have to figure out how to deal with that.

  But not tonight. Tonight was performance night. And she didn’t mean stripping.

  DeLaud was there again, seated at one of the front tables, same as last night. He’d watched her intently during her first show, so she’d made sure to give him a lot of eye contact. And Spence had made sure to scowl, so much that she almost bought his pissed-off lover act.

  She kind of liked it.

  She changed clothes and came out wearing a red miniskirt and black skintight top with black stiletto heels. Damn high heels were going to be the death of her before this assignment was over. How did women walk in these all the time? She had a new appreciation for strippers.

  Prepared for what was to come, she put on her best pissed-off look, lifted her chin, and strolled right past Spence. He grabbed her arm.

  “I want to talk to you. ”

  “Not now. Can’t you see I’m working?”

  “Now. ”

  She jerked her arm free. “Look, we’ve been over this. You need to back down. Understood?”

  “Loud and clear, bitch. But if you want me as your bodyguard, you can quit flaunting your affairs in front of me. ”

  She laughed. “I’m not having an affair, Spence. That’s just your deluded jealousy talking. ”

  “I know what I see, Desi. And I’m not your trained monkey. ”

  She turned to fully face him and crossed her arms. “I don’t want a monkey. I want a man. And if you don’t want this gig anymore, then quit. ”

  Anger shot from his deep blue eyes. She’d never want to make him mad, because he played fury really well. “I don’t need this shit from you or any woman. ”

  “Then walk. ”

  He stared at her for what seemed like an eternity. She stood her ground and stared right back at him until he turned and did just what she suggested—he walked, storming toward the bar. Shadoe made a show of looking hurt, then inhaled deeply, blew it off, pivoted around, and moved off in the opposite direction—in the direction of DeLaud’s table.

  He caught her gaze and motioned to her. She plastered on a fake smile and slid into the chair he pulled out for her. DeLaud signaled a waitress and held up two fingers, then turned his attention to her.

  “Problem, Desi?”

  “Kind of. ” She was going for reluctance rather than just spilling her guts right off.

  “Want to talk about it?”

  “No. That’s okay. ”

  He lowered his voice, calm and reassuring. “Tell me. ”

  With a dramatic sigh, she said, “I just broke up with my boyfriend. ”

  He frowned. “I’m sorry. ”

  She shrugged. “It’s been a long time coming. He’s too possessive. ”