by Glen Kenner
-She’s coming to.
I see the old woman’s eyes flutter and her hands start to move a bit. I open the first aid kit. Lots of supplies but no aspirin. Andre walks behind the receptionist’s desk and tries a drawer. It’s locked but he breaks it open and hands me a bottle of aspirin.
I hand one to Sarah and she crushes it up and lifts the woman’s head and puts it in her mouth. Glen Ray says he’ll get her something to drink and runs out of the lobby.
I turn to Andre.
-Look, about this software, we need to do this right now. You need to call 911 for the cleaning lady and we don’t want to be here when they show up. A cop always shows up with an ambulance and we can’t be around for that. So you need to delete everything asap.
-That’s why you guys broke in here? To delete the software? I can’t do that. I mean, no one can. It doesn’t work that way.
-Like hell it doesn’t! You can do something. Delete it or screw it up or something!
-No I can’t. Look, we need to call 911 for Mamie.
He tilts his head toward the cleaning lady.
-She needs help right now.
He grabs the phone from the desk. I slam it down.
-We’ll call 911. Ok? But I need to know you’re going to disable that software.
-I can’t! What don’t you understand about that? It doesn’t work that way!
He grabs the phone back, gets a dial tone and then dials 911. He gives the address and explains what’s happened and hangs up.
-They said five minutes.
I come around the desk and grab him by the throat.
-The software! You’ve got five minutes to break it or the ambulance is going to have two patients!
-I can’t! I physically can’t. At most I could literally pull the plug on everything in the NOC but there are backup servers in Utah that will kick on in less than thirty seconds.
-Backup servers? Fuck! What about deleting the code?
-I can’t do that. No one can do that. I mean, Barry could do it. But no one else has that kind of access. You don’t just delete shit like that!
I let him go just as Glen Ray comes around the corner. He looks from me to Andre to Sarah and the cleaning lady.
-What did I miss?
He’s got a plastic cup of water for the cleaning lady and he’s drinking straight from a two liter of Mountain Dew.
Andre points to the Mountain Dew.
-Hey, that’s mine!
He points to a small yellow sticky note on the two liter that says Andre.
-I was thirsty. I kinda ate the pizza that was in the fridge next to the Dew.
-Did it have my name on it too?
-I think so.
-That was my dinner!
I’m losing my cool.
-Hey! Both of you fucking shut up! Andre, where does this Barry guy live? Here in St Louis?
-Yeah. But I don’t know where. He drives an Aston Martin DB11. He doesn’t live in your neighborhood.
-My neighborhood?
-Yeah, in the hood. You live in a seriously shitty area.
-I know where I fucking live. Where’s HR?
-Why?
-Fucking answer my question, Andre! I’m losing my temper. If you know who I am, you know my nickname.
The cockiness drains out of him before my eyes.
-HR’s right down the hallway. First room on the left.
-Sarah, you and Andre stay right here. Glen Ray and I are going to HR. If the ambulance comes before we get back, shout out. And if Andre runs or tries to call anyone else or just looks like he’s thinking about doing something shifty, start breaking bones.
-I’ll start with his hands.
She says this without a smile. I don’t think she’s joking.
Glen Ray and I find the HR department. It’s just two desks with a few chairs and a long bookcase in a small room. No file cabinet. Fuck. The walls are covered with feel good motivation posters and pinned up brochures about losing weight and handling stress and other health problems that I guess people who sit at a desk all day for forty years have to worry about.
Each desk has a name plate. Chrisie in Accounting and Erin in Human Resources. I tell Glen Ray to grab a seat behind Erin’s desk and try to find a file of employee addresses. He presses a key and the screensaver disappears.
-I need the password.
He starts looking around the desk, under the keyboard, on sticky notes on the monitor. Nothing. He turns around and looks at the wall behind the desk. There’s more pinned up brochures, a calendar, and a child’s drawing of something brown. A dog, maybe. Or a house. Glen Ray flips the drawing up and there’s a yellow sticky. H8myb0s$.
-Well that’s just sad.
He turns around and types it in the computer.
-Ok, we’re in. Addresses, addresses, addresses… Got it. What’s the guy’s name?
-Barry. Shit, I don’t know his last name.
I call Sarah. No answer. Fuck me.
-I’ll be right back. Keep looking.
I run down the hall and into the lobby. Sarah has Andre pinned down on his stomach with one hand on the back of his neck. He’s gasping for air. Her other arm is holding up the cleaning lady, who’s awake but in obvious pain.
-What happened?
-He had another phone. He pulled it out and tried to walk out. I grabbed his ankle, broke it, and held him down. Should I snap his neck or just crush his hands?
Andre starts struggling and saying no no no. I lean down and get him to look me in the eyes.
-Who were you calling, Andre? Who’s so important that it’s going to get you killed?
-No no no. I’m sorry. I- I-
My phone rings. It’s Glen Ray.
-Got it. James Barry Levin. The only Barry in the company. And he’s the CTO. He lives in Town and Country. Is that in St Louis?
-It’s West County. About twenty miles from here. Good work, Glen Ray.
-Thanks man!
-I’m still pissed at you though. Come on back to the lobby.
I turn back to Andre.
-Who were you calling?
-Look, I- I-
-Andre, are you left or right handed?
-What? Why?
Sarah drags him backwards and says that he’s a leftie.
-See, his watch is on his right wrist.
Damn if she isn’t quick.
-What are you going to do?
Sarah grabs his left hand.
-We’re just going to help you remember who you were trying to call.
-No no no! I-
Just then we all hear the siren. We look up and see an ambulance pull up in front of the main entrance. Fuck. A cop will be right behind it.
-Gotta go!
I grab his phone on the ground, crush it six inches from his face and toss it in the trash can next to the desk. Then I reach into his back pocket and take out his wallet and put his driver’s license into my pocket.
-Mention us to anyone and we’ll visit you at home. You’ll wish you never left Google. Understand?
I don’t wait for him to say anything. Sarah and I run from the lobby and catch Glen Ray coming out of the HR office.
-Let’s move it!
We run down the hall, make a left, go down another hall and hit the door into the cool night air just as the cop goes by. Oops. Almost fucked that up. We turn right and run down the street toward the back of the building and the fenced in parking lot and into the dark and then stop. Glen Ray still has the two liter of Mountain Dew. He offers it to me and I take a long swig. Damn if that wasn’t exactly what I needed. Sarah takes it from me and does the same.
-Alright. That didn’t go as expected. But we’ve got the address of the guy who can shut everything down. Kingsley said this guy, Barry, has a personal reason for being involved. It’s a long story. But I’ll handle making him help us. Although, Sarah, you did a fucking awesome job in there! Seriously!
In the dim light I see her shrug her shoulders.
-I�
��m not just another pretty face.
Glen Ray pulls a folded sheet of paper from his back pocket.
-I found Barry’s address. And, since we don’t have smartphones, I printed out the Google directions.
-Cool. Very cool. But you did almost kill the cleaning lady.
-Not my fault.
-Keep telling yourself that.
I pull out my burner and call Samir. It’s goes to voicemail. Shit.
-Well, our taxi guy isn’t picking up. And Barry’s in Town and Country. Twenty miles from here. No way are we going to catch another taxi down here by the river. It’s almost ten o’clock. If we head south and hit highway 40 and keep up a four minute mile until 270 and…
I calculate it in my head.
-It should take us about an hour and a half.
Glen Ray mutters what? I ignore him.
-I’ll call Maurice once we’re there to let him know we’re going to be late. And hey, if a cop tries to stop us, we’ll just do a one eighty and run into one of the neighborhoods along the highway, ok? Just follow me. I’m an expert at avoiding cops.
23 - With Friends Like These
We head west a couple of blocks and then south. There’s plenty of traffic before we get to the highway and I’m wondering how we’re going to look running 15 miles an hour once we get on Highway 40. Will anyone really notice from their car when they’re doing seventy or eighty miles an hour themselves? I don’t think I would. Then Sarah pats me on the arm and looks across the street at a middle-aged guy in a suit walking up to his car. He pushes the button on his key fob and the lights flash as the car unlocks. Sarah walks quickly across the street and calls out to him.
-Excuse me. Sorry. But-
-I don’t have any money. Sorry. No cash.
He gets to the door and opens it.
-No, I don’t need cash. Seriously. You look like someone I can trust. I just need a ride.
-A ride?
-Yeah, just a ride. To my house. I live in Town and Country. I saw your nice car and figured you live out that way. In West County.
He stands there with the door open looking at her. I’m not sure exactly what he’s thinking but Sarah is working him like a pro. Damn.
-Uh, no, sorry. I can’t. Sorry.
-Really? Just a quick ride? My car got towed and my parents are going to kill me.
-Look, I’m sorry. I’d like to give you a ride home. I would. But… uh… if my wife found out, I mean, that would be bad. Seriously bad. So, sorry, but no.
Glen Ray jogs over and stops next to Sarah.
-Hey, I’m with her. No ride, huh? Bummer. Could you get us an Uber?
-An Uber? Why don’t you guys get it yourself?
Sarah looks to Glen Ray who pauses a second.
-Because we’re actually both grounded. I mean, we’re too old for that, I know. It’s embarrassing. But our parents are really strict and we’re not supposed to be out but we snuck out and then my sister here got her car towed like an idiot-
Sarah knocks him in the arm.
-...and if we’re not home before our parents get home, we are so in trouble. And if they see an Uber charge on our credit card, they’ll know we were out. They’re rich fuckers but they’re really strict.
-You guys are brother and sister? The two of you.
-Yup.
They say this together, like they planned it beforehand.
-What about that guy back there? Is he your other brother?
He points to me and I just kind of wave. What the hell? I’m not used to standing in the back, doing nothing but waving like an idiot.
Sarah stammers a bit and looks at Glen Ray. Glen Ray says no, no, no.
-Uh, he’s my boyfriend. Come here, Jon-Jon. Don’t be shy. He’s very shy. Just came out and still getting used to being himself.
The guy is looking at Sarah to Glen Ray to me and back all over again.
Glen Ray looks at the guy.
-You’re not a homophobe, are you?
-What? No. God no. I support LGBT, uh, Q, uh, rights and all that stuff. All of it. Homophobe? No. Not at all. God no.
-So you’ll give us a ride?
He looks at Sarah and seems to be weighing his options.
-No. No, sorry. But I’ll get you an Uber. But I need you pay me for it.
Sarah jumps up and down and claps her hands.
-We can do that! Thank you, thank you!
Glen Ray joins in.
-Awesome man! Thanks!
Then he turns and hugs Sarah and jumps up and down with her in his arms.
The guy pulls up the Uber app on his phone and hands it to Sarah to type in the address. She hands it to Glen Ray and then moves between Glen Ray and the guy as Glen Ray turn around and pulls the Google map out of his pocket and types in the address. I step over to him quickly and whisper to him not to use the actual address. Use one street over. Just in case. Sarah is talking with the guy, standing far closer to him than I think she normally would. She says her name is Cher, like the singer, but spelled different. He says his name is Jerry. They shake hands. Sarah tells Jerry he has such a strong grip. Then she says something about her ankle. She thinks she might have twisted it. She holds her foot up waist high and ask him if it looks swollen. Could he feel it, to see if it feels swollen? Jerry can barely put two words together.
Glen Ray hands Jerry back his phone and shows him the app estimates the cost will be thirty-two dollars and ten cents. I pull out two twenties and hand them to Sarah who hands them to the guy.
-Thank you so much, Jerry. Oh my God, you’re a life-saver! Thank you! I want to hug you. Can I hug you?
-Uh, no, I- whew. I don’t think so. Not a good idea. Sorry.
Glen Ray steps toward him.
-Can I?
Jerry gets in his car and we hear the door lock go down and he quickly pulls away.
I put my hands on both of their shoulders and laugh.
-You guys are fucking crazy!
The three of us laugh way louder than we should.
-And you…
I punch Glen Ray in the arm.
-I’m your boyfriend? Fuck that! Never in a million years!
-Jon-Jon, I never took you for a homophobe.
-Homophobe? I’m an idiotphobe!
I bust out laughing but Sarah and Glen Ray not so much. Shit. Sometimes I’m such a dick. Just then the Uber pulls up and the driver looks confused. We jump in, explain, and off we go. I was hoping it would be the guy from before. I could use some Public Enemy right about now.
The Uber ride is uneventful, as an Uber ride should be. We get to Barry’s neighborhood at a quarter past ten and get out of the car. The homes here are huge. I’ve lived in mansions before. Even palaces. Even the Apostolic Palace of the Lateran. But I think these homes are less about the amenities and more about exclusivity. Then again, none of the popes I worked for ever let the poor and homeless through their doors either. The more things change, the more they stay the same.
I tell Sarah and Glen Ray that we should follow the street down and over and come back up to this guy’s house.
-People in this neighborhood are likely to have security devices outside. We don’t want to trip any alarms.
Sarah nods her head.
-Speaking of security, and despite it being the twenty-first century and all, I still need to worry about DAWB.
She pronounces it as dawb. Now Glen Ray and I both nod our heads. Doing Anything While Black.
-So if we see a cop or a security guard, we might want to book it.
We walk quickly down Woodfield Estates, take a left onto Clayton and book it at top speed until we get to Greenwich Green. Some of these houses have their own lakes. Damn. Barry’s house sits far back from the street and the long driveway leading to his mansion is protected by two large stone columns, each topped with large stone lions. I shake my head.
I walk over to a large oak to the side of one of the columns and Sarah and Glen Ray follow me.
-Here we are.
They look at me and at each other and don’t say anything.
-Isn’t anyone going to ask me the plan?
Glen Ray snaps his fingers on both hands and points to me.
-What’s the plan, Johnny Bossman?
-I don’t know. What do you guys think we should do?
Quiet again.
Sarah steps away from the tree and comes back.
-Well, there are lights on, so someone’s up. No cars in the driveway means no guests. So it’s Barry or his family, assuming he has one.
Glen Ray starts getting excited.
-We should separate Barry from his family. Maybe put them in a room without a phone and make sure no one has a cell phone on them. If he has a family. And we could threaten to hurt his family, too, you know. Get him to cooperate.
-He has a family. A wife and an eight year old son, who’s probably going to face First Death someday. Maybe he has other kids. I don’t know. Long story. But no threatening the family.
-I’m not saying that we would really threaten the family. Just kinda threaten the family. Like on the Sopranos. It would be a shame if something happened to your family, God forbid. Like that.
Sarah starts doing some stretches.
-I can get him to help us. I know how.
-Ok, ok. We don’t hurt any family or even threaten any family. Not even kinda. But good idea to separate them. And Sarah, sorry, but we’re not asking this guy for a ride. He reports to Kingsley. Kingsley can and will hurt him and his family without blinking an eye. And I’m sure he knows it. So how about this? If the family is home, Sarah gets them, wife and kids, into a kid’s bedroom and keeps them there. They’ll be less afraid of a woman, I think. Just make sure, like Glen Ray said, no one has a phone. Cell or landline. Glen Ray, you stay with me. I’ll do the talking and you pipe up if Barry starts feeding me a line of bullshit about what he can and can’t do with the software. Sound good?
They nod. Glen Ray points at me.
-How are we getting in?
-We ring the doorbell.
-Awww yeah! Damn it feels good to be a gangster.
