I thrust three more times before I whisper, “I do, Murphy, damn it, I worship you. I can’t live without you anymore. Tell me you understand. Tell me!”
She turns her face further to look at me and she says, “I love you, Zander, I love you!” She starts crying, I can’t believe what she just said and I can’t stop this animal she has created. I drive into her harder and faster all while I use my hand to pull her face closer to me so I can kiss the tears on her cheeks. I love this woman, I do and I am not ever going to stop loving her.
Her tears start to disappear as she gets closer to orgasm and I am right there with her. I slide my hand down to her breast and pinch her hard nipple as my mouth drowns out her cries of ecstasy. As she squeezes around my cock I exploded harder than I think I ever have.
I stay inside of her, as I kiss her all over her shoulders and neck then I whisper in her ear, “I love you too, Red. My Red, now and forever.”
Murphy
When I came home tonight I was so frustrated not only with work, but how my body has become so alive lately. Every little thought that enters my mind is of Zander and his hot, strong, tall body, with his wide shoulders. Oh my God, here I go again. Everything goes back to me thinking of him. I can’t even get away from him in my sleep. He consumes me like I have never been consumed. It has to be the pregnancy. Fallon told me how her sexual drive peeked in her second trimester. That has to be what’s happening to me. I just pray when I get home he’s not there. I don’t think I could handle him right now, not the way I’m feeling.
I know I could and should ease my desires by masturbating, but I haven’t been able to, not since he told me that he was the only thing going inside of me from now on. I made him believe it pissed me off, but inside I was crazed with wanting to jump his bones right there. Just the idea of him being that domineering to tell me what I could do with my body was fucking hot. But not as hot as the idea of him driving my vibrator instead of me. Damn, he better not be home.
When I finally make it to bed, I am happy to see he’s not. I know he’s off doing God knows what, but I have a feeling it’s not a who he’s doing. The other night when he brought that woman Candy to the casino it didn’t take me long to figure out she was an escort. I can’t believe he thought I was going to buy that shit. But then I sit on my empty bed and wonder am I just being stupid? I mean I haven’t been sleeping with him so maybe he has been paying someone. Like Candy, I know I said he could and I wanted him to, but now I’m not so sure. I don’t think he did. But what if he did? I slam my hands down on the bed.
“Shit!”
I finally decide to clean off the day and try to get some long-needed sleep. I really do try, but Zander again haunts my dreams. The man is relentless. I can’t even get a good night’s rest without him being on my mind. I can feel myself wanting his touch. I can even feel myself becoming so turned on that I’m getting wet for him. Then I feel his touch, I feel caresses up and down my arms and I swear when I feel kisses they feel so real. I can’t help but enjoy the feel of him even if it’s just in my dream. But then I feel a push on my knee, an actual push trying to spread my legs. That’s when I realize this is not a dream. I open my eyes, but I can’t move or speak. I’m not sure what to do, I want him so bad, do I dare let him touch me the way I desire?
Then I hear him whisper in my ear, “Let me help you, Red.”
Followed by his promise that tonight is all about me, well, I can’t help it, my body relaxes and my legs separate. I need him so bad. I really don’t care what tomorrow will bring, but tonight he offers something I so desperately need. The more he whispers in my ear, the more turned on I become. He knows exactly what to say and he knows I love hearing him whisper how wet I am or how he is going to make me feel better. He knows what it takes to drive me crazy.
He takes his time at first, trying to draw my pleasure out. But I can’t help trying to take more. But then he stops and lets me know he’s controlling this and I need to give him that. I am stunned when I feel him rub my wetness further towards my ass, but he tells me to relax again and I do. I can’t help trusting him, he is the only man I have ever given any control over to. Then the pressure he applies to my ass with his cock is incredible.
“Mmm,” it makes me feel sensations from every erotic zone.
He controls my body like he wants, but he knows me so well that it’s exactly the way I want it. I explode and convulse all around his fingers, and as I start to come down, he’s still fingering me, allowing me to ride the waves of my orgasm. But I need more. I don’t want to cum again like this. I need him, I find my voice and tell him exactly what I need and want. He seems so shocked at first, but then a cocky smirk appears on his face and he thrusts into me strong and hard.
I scream out, “Fuck, Zander!” He is just what I needed.
He starts telling me his demands that we can’t go back, not after tonight. Then he slows down again, trying to get his point across. He needs me to understand that he will not tolerate me distancing myself from him anymore. Then he says the most domineering but romantic thing I have ever heard from a man.
“You are mine, my wife, and my lover.”
But when he tells me he worships me, I fall head over heels in love. This man owns my body and heart. I think I just realized that I do love Zander, no matter what I try to tell myself, it always ends up with me truly loving him. I can’t let my fear stop me from my future so in the heat of the moment I reach over to face him and tell him.
“I love you, Zander, I really do.”
It brings tears to my eyes because I have never heard those words come out of my mouth. Hell, I have never felt them before. But with Zander I feel everything, I love him so much it scares me. I cry because of the love and of the fear. We are so enrapt in each other that I cum hard and fast and he follows right after. It doesn’t take long before he tells me he loves me too and starts kissing my tears away. It’s exactly what I needed to hear.
When we finish, in Zander fashion he stays inside of me as long as he can. It’s like he never wants to leave and I love him for that too. He wraps me in his arms and continues to caress and kiss me. My tears start flowing faster now. Without the peak of orgasm to keep me from overthinking, I am now left with his gentleness. This big giant of a man is the most tender man I have ever known, he shows how much he cares with every small kiss and touch of his fingers.
I hear him whisper in my ear, “I need you to talk to me, baby, honestly. Don’t hold anything back.”
He’s right. I need to tell him all of my fears.
“I don’t want to be Judith.”
“What?”
“I don’t want to settle anymore. I need to be loved and I want to love you. But I’m scared, Zander.”
“Of me?”
I nod my head, and he suddenly slips out of me and turns me over to my back. He hovers over me for a second, watching my face with pinched brows then says, “I would never hurt you.”
“I’m not scared you would hurt me physically, but emotionally. I not equipped to take that kind of pain anymore.”
His hand slowly drifts down to my protruding stomach, and he lays his hand on our babies and says, “I would never hurt you because it would hurt them. I love you all. I need you to know that. You, them, you all are my life now. I can’t live without any of you.”
I grab his face and kiss him softly, I believe he means what he says, but there is still some tiny doubt about what tomorrow might bring.
“Listen to me, Murphy, I never knew love like this before either. Until you. I am going to make mistakes, you will too. But we have each other and we’ll find our way through all the bullshit. I am yours forever and you are mine forever too. I would rather die before I let myself hurt you or one of our children.” I turn my face away, not being able to face him any longer. I’m still scared even though he’s saying all the right things. But he won’t have it, he grabs my face and forces me to look at him and listen. “I will always be here for you and them. I wi
ll protect you and them because you are mine to do so for. No one will ever come between that.”
“I want that, Zander. I want to belong to you and only you.”
“You do, baby.”
Right then we feel our babies kick. Zander jumps, and I start laughing. For such a serious moment, our babies sure are starting off extremely early learning how to interrupt Mommy and Daddy time.
Zander with his hand still on my stomach looks up and asks, “Do you think they hear us yet?”
“I don’t know.”
He leans down in the bed and starts talking to our babies. “Did you two hear Mommy tell me she loves me? I love her and you two very much too.”
I can’t help but cry again. Damn, it’s the sweetest thing I have ever seen, this six-foot-five man hovering his mouth over my belly talking to our babies.
“I love you, Zander.”
He comes back up and kisses me passionately. I want more so I reach down to grab his cock, but he stops me. “Do you think if they can hear us they can feel us too?”
I laugh and push him over so he is lying on his back. “I don’t care.”
He makes a scrunched face and says, “It’s weird.”
“Are you turning me down?”
His brows pich together and he says, “Hell no!”
“That’s what I wanted to hear.”
I climb over him and we finish off our night with hardly any sleep.
The next morning when we head downstairs laughing and in each other’s arms, everyone starts staring at us with wide smiles on their faces. Even Catherine looks very pleased. They try to veer away from asking us about the obvious changes in our relationship, but we can both tell it’s killing them. Suddenly, my mother’s phone dings with a text. She excuses herself while she reads it and starts laughing. She lays the phone back down, trying not to draw too much attention to herself.
“Mom, who was that?”
She clears her throat and says, “Well it was Forrest, he has been persistent about asking me out on a date.”
Catherine and I both say at the same time, “Really!?”
Theo shakes his head. “That man will never get over you.”
My mother lets out a small laugh and says, “He’s just being nice. I was just a challenge, that's all.”
Theo again says, “I think you underestimate how Forrest has always felt about you. He hated Murphy his whole life for having you. It almost came to a head one night, when Murphy had warned him off you again for the millionth time.”
Catherine looks over to my mom and says, “Maybe you should give it a try.”
Mom laughs now. “Really? Forrest?”
It’s not that Forrest is a bad looking man. It’s just that, well he is not my father. Dad was this striking man and Forrest is ordinary almost boring looking.
Catherine nods her head. “I have heard that he is persistent in all things if you know what I mean.”
Well, everyone’s face shows shock, of course, we all know the undertones of what she means. Mom speaks first. “Really, Forrest?”
Catherine looks at her and says, “You would be surprised the stories I’ve heard.”
Mom's face shows a reaction of being shocked and stunned then I see a small smile creeping up her face. Then I hear the tiniest of “Hmmm” come from her.
Theo grabs Catherine’s hand and asks, “Where have you heard these things about Forrest?”
“It is not from personal experience so don’t worry about it.”
He grunts and we all laugh a little. Mom, however, says, “I think I might try and date again.”
I look at her. “Mom, I think you should, it’s time. You should be happy, try going out with Forrest, what can it hurt?”
Zander stands and says, “Why me? Now I have to worry about my mother-in-law too.”
Gabriel almost chokes on his food and says, “It couldn’t happen to a better man and so well deserved.”
58
Murphy
I float around these days like I’m floating on air. My relationship with Zander has grown to be something that I have only ever dreamed of. It still scares me, but I am slowly learning to go with it. I have no choice; my heart won’t allow me to close it anymore. I have never been happier in my life, even Kyle says that I don’t sound the same when I talk to him over the phone. He can’t wait for the babies to be born, he says he’s going to come down for a visit as soon as he can. I miss him so much and as the weeks have passed my hormones have turned me into a sappy woman. Zander claims that if Kyle doesn’t come soon then he’s going to New Jersey to get him personally. Which makes me love him even more. He knows how important Kyle is to me and has never shown that there should be a reason he would not want us to remain close.
Everything is perfect, except for the man after me and our family. I haven’t been completely honest with Zander. About 11 weeks ago, I started getting a long stem rose every week. I’d show up for work, walk into my office and find one long stem red rose lying on my desk. It’s almost like he wants to let me know that he can get to me anytime he wants.
I haven’t told Zander even though I know I should. Because I know it will drive him crazy. He has been going nuts over not being able to find this guy. He feels he’s letting all of us down. The way I understand, Zander has never not found the man he is looking for, but yet months have gone by without any more progress. He works late nights and sends his crew out of state at times trailing clues that never pan out.
Then there is the fact of him driving me crazy with always wanting to be up my ass. It kills him when he can’t be with me. But I remind him that Bobby is here and he knows Bobby is one of his best guys so he calms down for a little while. If I told him about the roses he would be pissed and then I would never be allowed to leave the house.
I truly don’t know how this guy is getting in here to bring the roses. I mean, I have so much security around me that it seems impossible, but every week they lay here on top of my desk. I hide them as soon as I find them, so no one will know.
If someone saw them and told Zander, that would be it. I would be stuck at home, permanently. I am getting bigger by the week and I know soon enough I will not be allowed to work, but until then I don’t want anything or anyone getting in my way of doing what I enjoy.
Catherine and I have made a lot of progress too. She is here a couple of times a week to see how the casino and the renovations are going. We are even making progress in our relationship. She seems to be happy with my work, she even seems somewhat happy to have me in the family or maybe that's my interpretation because at least she isn’t threatening me anymore. But I am still very cautious of her. I know what lies behind that beautiful face of hers. She’s as venomous as they come and I for one want to stay off her hit list. Some days I want to confide in her and then other days I want to strangle her. Today, in fact, she will be here any minute ready for a tour and lunch.
Catherine arrives right on time. She walks into my office with precision in every step she makes. I have heard stories from the girls about Catherine. Stories about how they met her and stories they told me about her life as they understand it. They say she is a hard woman, but once you get past that hard exterior of hers, she’s wonderful. I obviously have not been privy to that side of her yet. But I do see what they’re talking about when I see her with Fallon’s son, Gavin. You can tell with every ounce of her being that she loves that baby. It makes me wonder if she will be like that with my children or if she will harbor ill feelings toward them because of our connection. To say it hasn’t been easy for her and me to make a strong connection would be putting it mildly. We are two very hard-headed women.
However, it is better than it was in the beginning. I feel a mutual respect from the both of us when it comes to business. But nothing more. Well, showtime!
“Hello, Catherine, right on time as usual.”
“You should already know that about me, Murphy. I am never late for anything. Where would you like to star
t today?”
I turn in my chair so I can roll my eyes at her while standing. “Let’s start in the lounge. The construction team has only one more day left. We should make sure the work is up to par.”
She nods in agreement. About three hours later we find ourselves moving throughout the casino fairly quick. Everything so far has been to our satisfaction. Our last stop is in the restaurant that we are opening for fine dining. The chef has prepared us some tasting plates for some ideas of what will be served.
We sit and once the chef has gone over today’s menu with us, things between us become awkward. I find myself fidgeting in my chair not knowing what to say. I can tell Catherine feels the same way.
Finally, I ask to end the awkwardness, “So, are you truly satisfied with all the progress?”
She studies me for a minute and then says, “Is this the way you want our relationship to continue? Business and nothing more?”
She surprises me with her questions. “I didn’t think we’d have anything else to discuss.”
She lets out a small calculated laugh and says, “We have many things we can discuss, but if you’re happy with this arrangement between us, then fine, I’ll play along.”
What the hell do I say to that? “I guess we can try to have a conversation where you’re not threatening me if you’d like.”
Now she laughs out loud. “Let’s hope those days are behind us.”
I glance up at her and say, “Let’s!”
She starts tapping her fingernails on the table as she stares at me. “You know that was just business.”
“Was it all business? What about Zander, is he business?”
She thinks about it for a second then she says, “Yes, he is. He and his brothers are my legacy. They are the ones who will take over everything I’ve created. I did things in my life that are unforgivable so that my sons would not have to ever struggle. I’m not sorry for doing them either. I would do it all over again. Soon, you will understand that. Once those babies are born your life changes. Your life is not yours anymore and all you will ever want from the day they are born until the day you die is for them to have a better life than you had.”
Art of War (A Stern Family Saga Book 3) Page 29
