by Tara Pammi
He clicked his phone shut. “I have something urgent to take care of.”
Her stomach tightened. “So go. I’ll even bid you goodbye with a smile.”
“You’re coming with me. You can laze in a spa, swim in a beach, shop for maternity clothes...among other things.”
Her skin sizzled at the double intonation on the last bit.
“Everything you should be doing.”
Her breath hitched in her throat at the resolve in his gaze. “You like lording it over me, don’t you? I’m not going anywhere with you.”
He took a step toward her and backed her against the limo. He pulled her hand into his and twined their fingers. She felt his touch to the tip of her toes.
“I was worried about you. I am still. So shut up and accept it.”
Her heart thumped inside her ribcage. Gooey warmth flooded through her. No one had ever worried about her. Ever. It had been her job to worry for as long as she could remember.
She had worried about her mom first, shielded her from her father. And after she had walked out she had tried her best to protect Liv from her dad’s wrath. No one had ever seen past the veneer of her perfection to the emptiness beneath—even Liv, who cared about her....
With his thumb and forefinger he rubbed over her forehead. “Stop thinking so much. You will stay with me so that I can keep an eye on you.”
“Why?”
“You didn’t seem yourself last night. Or just now.”
“Last night I was hormonal. Tonight I’m horny.”
Liquid fire blazed in his gaze.
“Those are the only colors on my rainbow lately.”
He laughed, the sexy dimple in his cheek winking at her.
“Hormonal and horny women need looking after.”
It had been a very strange day on so many accounts.
Once the janitor had locked her out of her company’s premises she had returned to her apartment, fuming with disbelief. Because for the past six years she had worked every Saturday except the day she had gone to her wedding.
By the time she had finished every last scrap of the delicious sandwich Anna had given her, taking away her laptop in the process, and with her usual intelligence deserting her, Kim had realized too late that everything had been orchestrated by Diego.
Total lack of sleep last night meant she had zonked out for the rest of the day.
“I came to check on you twice and you were sleeping. Anyone with a little sense can see your body needs rest. Why do I have to force you to it?”
She flushed, unbidden warmth spurting in her. He had checked on her. Twice. She should resent his high-handed attitude; she should at least offer token resistance. But she couldn’t muster a protest past the warm fuzzies filling her up.
When had anyone ever checked on her? This was the same strangely weakening, cared-for sensation that had driven her to marry him six years ago. She had stupidly wanted that feeling to last forever.
“And what were you doing there, of all places?”
He sounded so aggravated that she smiled. “I was going crazy after sleeping straight through the day. So I made a list of all the things I need to get ready before the babies come. Then I—”
He tapped her temple with one long finger. “I’m going to cure you of your overthinking if it’s the last thing I do.”
“Then I got thinking of all the things I won’t get to do anymore when the babies arrive.”
“And going to a sex club was one of them?” His frown deepened into a full-fledged scowl. “What else was on it?”
The flare of interest in his gaze goaded her. Last night had been terrifying on so many levels. Right at that moment she would do anything to see what he felt for her reflected there. Even if it was just lust.
“Sex with a stranger was number two and sex in a public place number three. I thought I could shoot two birds with one—”
He tilted forward, all two hundred pounds of hulking, turned-on, prime male focused on her. A tingle started deep in her lower back and began inching its way all over. Her palms slapped onto his chest as he angled his lower body closer.
“You’re pushing me on purpose, pequena. Are you ready for the consequences?”
His rock-hard thigh lodged in between her thighs, sparking an ache in that exact spot. A whimper clawing out of her, she pushed at him. The feel of hard muscles and the thundering of his heart under her fingers was just as torturous.
The heat uncoiling in his gaze made mincemeat of her. “Okay, fine. I made that up,” she said, cupping his jaw. “I...I didn’t know what to do with myself. But if you’re going to rearrange my everyday life the least you can do is...”
His gaze locked on her mouth and he relented the pressure of his thigh just a little. “What?”
“Let me enjoy it the way I want to.”
“Coward.”
A slow smile—one that should come with a health warning—curved his mouth, digging deep grooves into his face. Glorious warmth unraveled inside her. She loved it when he looked at her like that, when he smiled like that. As if she was the only one in the world who could put it there. It was wishful thinking at best, dangerous indulgence at worst, but she couldn’t fight the feeling.
“It kills you to ask, doesn’t it? To admit, even if only for a second, you wanted to see me?”
She smiled, incapable of resisting him at that moment. “I did call your secretary. She had no idea when you would be back. So I took Carla’s offer.”
“The sex expert on your team? Carla was there too?”
She smacked his chest with the back of her hand at the exaggerated interest in his words.
A car pulled up alongside their limo, the headlights illuminating the airstrip.
Miguel stepped out of the dark sedan. He opened the trunk and pulled out a pretty pink suitcase which, even in the low light, looked familiar.
Her jaw hit her chest. “That’s mine.”
“I had Anna pack some of your things.” He nodded at Miguel, who disappeared back into the car without a word to Kim. “Let’s go.”
He was serious. He was taking her away on a holiday. She shouldn’t be so happy about it, but she was. “But I—”
“You’re taking a few days off. Do you want to spend it alone? Maybe interview some more nannies? Borrow another baby? Dodge more calls from Olivia?”
Heat tightened her cheeks. She was getting more than a little obsessive in her Planning for Pregnancy phase. As if she could somehow make up for lacking the most necessary part of it. And, judging by the way Diego was looking at her, he knew that she was slowly going insane.
For the first time in her life she didn’t want to be alone. She didn’t have any strength left.
“I can’t just leave like that, Diego. I run a company. My laptop—”
He turned around. “It’s in there,” he said, with a nod toward another bag she hadn’t noticed before.
Her laptop case. She hated it when anyone touched it. Her most precious possession was in there.
She moved to take it from him but he held it behind him.
“I’m warning you again. This is a vacation. Mary and Amber have already been informed.”
Her assistant and her VP of Operations.
“I will send this back with Miguel unless you agree that your time on it will be limited.”
“Limited? What does that mean?” she said, hurrying behind him.
He paused at the foot of the plane’s stairs, one hand extended toward her. “You’ll be allowed one hour every day on that laptop.”
Reaching him, she paused. “What am I supposed to do for the rest of the day?”
His hand clasping hers, he smiled, the very devil lurking in his gaze. “I’m sure we will find something enjoyable.”
* * *
She waited until they were settled into the flight and she had picked at her dinner before she started looking around her seat.
Without asking, Diego knew what she was looking for. He couldn’
t believe it. The woman really was a workaholic.
“Where’s my laptop case?” she threw at him, meeting his gaze.
“It should be somewhere here.” Her expression anxious, she unbuckled her seat belt and stood up.
He leaned forward and grabbed her hand, stopping her. “This is what I’m talking about. What is so important that you need it now?”
With her other hand she pushed at his hold. “I don’t.” She looked almost panicky. “I just... I want to make sure it doesn’t get misplaced.”
He stared at her for a few seconds before replying, “It’s in the rear cabin.”
After a few minutes he followed her there, unable to keep his mind on anything else.
She knelt by the small side table next to the bed and unzipped the case. Smiling, he hunkered down on his knees next to her.
“What are you looking for?”
Her gaze wide, she froze with her hand inside the case. “Oh, just a...an old CD of songs I made a while ago. I want to upload it to my iPod and I...” She swallowed as he didn’t budge. “I would prefer to do it alone.”
He laughed. “Send me on my way so that you can work? No.”
“Never mind.” She began zipping it closed. “I don’t think the CD’s in here anyway.”
He grabbed the leather case from her.
Her hand shaking, she tugged it back. “No, Diego... Don’t...”
“You are acting really strange,” he murmured, and tugged the zipper open.
A bulging envelope fell out—a faded one, with a logo he instantly recognized. It was from a photo studio in Rio where he’d used to have his pictures developed long ago.
Where she had gone to have the pictures developed from the disposable cameras she and Eduardo had carried on that cruise.
She grabbed it and tucked her hand behind her jerkily.
He met her gaze, his chest incredibly tight. The last thing he wanted was to remember the pain he had felt when she had walked out. Not when they were finally starting over again, even if not with a clean slate.
The memory brushed his words with a harsh edge. “I’m surprised you didn’t burn them all a long time ago.”
Hurt flashed in her gaze. Still on her haunches, she moved away from him, as though she was shielding a precious commodity. “They’re catalogued under ‘Mistakes Never to Be Repeated.’”
“Why do you have them in your laptop case?”
Her answer was extremely reluctant. “When I packed my stuff to be moved I put them in there, to keep at work.”
So that he didn’t see them even by accident.
Anger burning through him, he made a quick move. The envelope fell from her arms, scattering pictures all around him. Every one of them showed Kim and him, happy, smiling, the world around them faded to nothing.
He grabbed a couple and crumpled them in his hand.
She gasped and plucked at his hand, her fingers digging into his bunched fist. “No... What are you doing?”
“I’m going to do what you should have done—tear them and trash them.”
She was trembling. “Don’t you dare.”
He grabbed another one, seething inside. He was about to rip it in half, when she clamped his wrist, her grip strong as a vise.
She shook her head, hot anger burning in her eyes. “Stop it, Diego.”
He let the picture go and pulled her toward him. “Why did you leave?”
“What?”
“It’s a question I should have asked years ago.”
“Believe me, the answer won’t make you happy.”
With a grunt, she tried to pry his fingers open. Her nails, even though blunt, dug into his knuckles. He didn’t care, and apparently neither did she.
“Let it go, Diego.”
“No. Not unless you answer my question. And truth this time.”
“I’ve never lied to you.”
“You’ve never told me the truth either. Like the fact that you never slept with Alexander.”
Her gaze flashed to him even while her fingers still jabbed at his. “Is that it? You want to know how many men I’ve slept with in my life? Two—you first, and then this other guy a year after I left you, because I couldn’t forget you. But it was horrible. There—are you happy?”
A red haze descended in front of his eyes. “What is supposed to make me happy? The fact that you would do anything to wipe me from your mind? Everything you give me—whether your word, or your promise, or even a damn kiss—I have to fight you for it. But you know what? I’ve fought for everything in my life and I fight dirty. So, unless you want me to rip up every picture I see here...”
Her efforts doubled. She scooted closer to him on her knees, stretched to her full height and then tilted her head to see the picture he was holding. “God, Diego, don’t you dare—”
He pulled away from her and raised his hand, looked at the picture, too.
His stomach churned with a vicious force.
This one had been taken the night after he’d had sex...no, had made love to her. However much he tried, it was a night he couldn’t cheapen. Not even in his thoughts.
Did she feel the same? Was that why the picture was so important to her? He was sick and tired of second-guessing.
He held it with both his hands. There was a small tear in the picture already.
She slammed into him as she tried to reach it. “Give it back, Diego...”
“No.”
“Fine.”
She didn’t shout. And yet her words vibrated with raw pain and utter desolation.
“I left because you turned me into a prize to parade before your father—into some trophy that was a victory over your childhood.”
“You said I treated you like a princess.”
“Yes—a princess dressed up in glittery clothes and exhibited for the status she provided. Anyone who asked, you recited my accomplishments as though it was my résumé. You were obsessed with taking over your father’s company. You spent every waking minute devising ways to get more access, more information. I...I loved you, and you broke my heart.”
“How is that possible? I was ready to move so that you could go to Harvard. I wanted to give you everything you had before I—”
“I didn’t want money or a grand life. I didn’t want to go back to Harvard. I wanted to stay with you.”
Diego’s head swam with each word she uttered. “What?”
“I tried to tell you that last week. All I cared about was being with you. You didn’t spend a single minute with me. We spent every evening at some gala or charity event. During the day you disappeared to God knows where. You made all these plans for how we would live our lives in New York....I didn’t want that life. When I met you I was running away from that life. Liv was gone and I felt so utterly alone. I went on that cruise on an impulse and I met you. No one’s ever looked at me like you did that fortnight, like there was something to me beyond... But in the end, you were the same as anyone else.”
Diego forced himself to breathe past the heaviness in his throat. She clamped his wrist again, but her grip was slippery, her fingers shaking. She breathed in slowly, softly, as though it took a lot of effort.
“That picture...” Her words were low, heavy, desolate. “It represents the happiest time of my life, Diego. The only happy time. So, please, give it back.”
His heart crawling into his throat, Diego dropped the picture. She picked it up from the floor, and the others with it, and tucked them back into the envelope hurriedly, as though she didn’t trust his temper.
He had done everything she had blamed him for and more. He had come to his own conclusions about why she had left him, let it fester inside. He had let his own insecurities color her actions. He had destroyed his happiness with his own hands...
All in pursuit of the very wealth and status that had robbed him of the two people who had truly loved him, who had cared about him.
He lifted her chin, his hands shaking with impotent rage. That familiar guilt c
lawed through him. Another person he’d hurt, another black mark on the increasing roster of his sins.
He palmed her cheek, tracing the jutting angles of her cheekbones with his fingers. Words rushed out of him on a wave of powerlessness that pricked his muscles.
“I did love you. I couldn’t bear the thought of not seeing you again once we were off that ship. That’s why I married you. I...I was obsessed with defeating my father, yes, but I never meant to hurt you. But of course neither of us had enough faith in the other, did we? You didn’t have enough to tell me the truth, and I didn’t have enough to drag you back to me.”
“Why didn’t you?”
Fury such as he had never heard, rattled in her words. But she didn’t wait for his answer.
He should have gone after her. But he had been able to see nothing past what he had termed as her rejection of him. He had driven himself to new, ruthless heights, manipulated and eventually driven Eduardo over the cliff.
All because she had made him realize the bitter truth that he had shoved beneath his fight for survival—that he would never be enough.
CHAPTER NINE
KIM STEPPED OUT of the shower stall in the luxurious rear cabin. She loved the circular space with its vanity lighting, but the hot water hadn’t helped.
Tugging on satin shorts and a matching silk top, she put her robe back on and tied the sash. She eyed the huge bed anxiously. She trailed her fingers over the soft Egyptian cotton.
Were they going to share a bed when they couldn’t even bear to look at each other?
She put a trembling hand to her forehead. Her racing thoughts were giving her a dull ache. The only time someone had put her first and she had run away from it. She wanted to go out and... What? Apologize for being a coward who had ruined their lives?
Her cell phone chirped an alarm. It was time for her multi-vitamin. She pushed at the strange sparkly bag that sat on top of her handbag with a little grunt. The bag slipped, its contents slipping onto the lush carpet at her feet. It was the goody bag from the sex party earlier that night.
She stared, aghast, at the tasteful assortment of favors scattered against the elegant rug.
Pink fur handcuffs, what were surely painful nipple clamps, two bottles of strawberry and chocolate-flavored massage oil, a contraption in shocking pink made in the shape of a...
