by Tara Pammi
He didn’t care anymore if she loved him or not, if she was as crazy about him as he was about her. All he wanted was to spend his life with her, looking after her, loving her, telling her every single day how much he wanted her, how much he needed her.
He stretched out next to her, feeling the weight on his shoulders dissolve into nothingness. Calm floated over him. His sore body felt lighter. He would just sit here, stay with her, watch over her.
He turned onto his side and pressed his mouth to her temple, breathed in her scent. And closed his eyes.
Sleep hit his eyelids with the force of a hurricane dragging him under, as though it hadn’t eluded him at all for that whole torturous week.
* * *
Kim drifted awake suddenly, instantly registering the warm, comforting weight around her waist. It was the same feeling all over, actually. From her hair to her toes she felt as if she was encased in the most delicious embrace ever.
She opened sleep-heavy eyes. The lamp she had turned on was still lit, and Diego’s sleeping face filled her vision. A soft gasp escaped her mouth. It was his arm that hung around her middle.
Her heart went from a quiet drone to a thundering pace in a mere second.
For a few minutes she just looked at him to her heart’s content. He wore shorts and nothing else. She swallowed as her gaze drifted over his long, hair-roughened legs. His abdomen was a ridge of hard muscles, with a line of hair that disappeared into his shorts.
His powerfully built chest rose and fell with his even breathing. The groove where his neck met his shoulders invited her touch. She fisted her hands, her gaze on his face now.
His mouth was a lush line in repose, his features etched with the passion and kindness that made this man. How stupid had she been to walk away from him?
Taking a deep breath, she lifted the arm around her middle and twined her fingers with his long ones. She heard him breathe in on a soft hiss and froze. With a frown, she pulled his hand up and saw the raw knuckles. The skin was broken in several places and crusted with blood.
Tears hit her eyes with a brutal force. She lifted his hand to her mouth and kissed the center of his palm. She dragged her mouth over the rough calluses, learning and loving every inch of him anew.
His breathing altered from its soft rhythm to a sharp intake of breath. She froze with the tips of his fingers on her mouth.
Their gazes collided. Her fingers tightened around his. “You have to stop fighting Miguel and whoever else you are.”
Warmth filtered into his gaze. “I wasn’t fighting.”
She fought to keep the tears at bay. “Then what is this?”
He shrugged.
“It hurts when I see you hurt, Diego. I don’t ever want to see this,” she said loudly, pointing his own fingers in his face, “again.”
She couldn’t keep the demand out of her tone.
She expected him to mock her, question her, tease her at least.
He said nothing, his gaze raking her face hungrily. His silent nod was too much to bear.
He scooted closer, his body an inviting fortress of pulsing heat and so much more. He still didn’t say anything, didn’t ask her anything. Just held her, his leg thrown over hers, his open palm on her back.
She pulled his hand to her face.
He obliged her without a word, his long fingers fanning out from her temples to her mouth. She kissed every finger, every ridge and mound of his palm.
She shivered as a sob built in her chest.
She drew a painful breath and tucked her face into his chest. She kissed him, the thundering boom of his heart the only sound filling her ears. “I’ve torn up the divorce papers. I never want to see them again in this lifetime. I’m never leaving you again, Diego. Ever.”
She felt his silent nod as he pulled her against him, his arms tight bands around her. Why didn’t he say anything? His agonizing silence, compared to his usually mocking, challenging, probing self, was beginning to breathe crippling fear into her limbs.
Her throat was choked up with all the words she wanted to say, her strength once again leaving her in her moment of need. But she had to do this. She had to tell him, had to show him her heart.
She struggled against him and he loosened his hold. Using his strength, she pulled herself up. She laughed, the sound tinged with her fear. She breathed hard, her hands going to her small belly. “I’m already a little clumsy.”
He stayed on his side, propped by his elbow, his gaze on her belly. “You’ve begun to show.”
She laughed, her tears finally spilling from her eyes. He was still speaking to her. It was more than she deserved. “Every day is making a difference.”
“Can I touch you?”
“You don’t have to ask,” she whispered, wondering if she had already lost him. Because Diego never asked. He manipulated her, he tricked her, he bargained with her. It was the only way she had ever given him anything, the only way she had let him see anything. And his solemn request now pierced her.
He placed his hand on her belly, his huge palm almost spanning the small bump.
She placed her hand atop his and he glanced up toward her. “Aren’t you going to ask me why I came back?”
The warmth disappeared from his gaze. He pulled himself up with a smooth movement and joined her against the headboard. “No.”
She held his hand tightly, drawing strength from it. One question swirled on the tip of her tongue, gouging into her. Every instinct inside her told her to embrace the silence again, to let it go. If she didn’t ask, she couldn’t be hurt by his answer. If she didn’t ask, she could...
She was short-changing herself again.
“I...I would like to ask you something. And I want you to give me an honest answer, okay?”
He nodded, his gaze never leaving hers.
Her throat almost seized up. There was a hot prickle of tears at the backs of her eyes. “You... Why did you take Marissa with you? I... It was the cruelest thing you could have done to me. I knew Eduardo. I would have come with you...”
He touched his mouth to her temple. “Shh...I never meant to hurt you.”
His fingers tightened around hers. He didn’t smile, but she saw the softening in his eyes. Because he understood how big it was for her just to ask.
“I wanted to take you with me. All I wanted was to hear you say again and again that you weren’t disgusted by what I had done, that I was a better man than I already was.” His words were soft, yet loaded with emotion. “But, Eduardo, he was always a good reminder to me of what I could become if I let something matter to me too much. Leaving without you was a matter of denying myself, proving to myself that I didn’t need you. Marissa...when she requested if she could come I couldn’t say no.”
“I want to share both good and bad with you, Diego. I want to be the one you lean on when...” She took a deep breath. “I meant what I said before. I’m never leaving again.”
A fire licked into life in his gaze. “That’s good to know.”
“Why are you being like this?”
“What is it you want from me? I will do it.”
“You have given up on me.”
Fresh tears spilled from her eyes, but she wiped them with determination. This was only one day—the beginning. She would spend this entire lifetime and more waiting for his love. Because this man—he meant everything to her. And she wasn’t going to hide how she felt for him either.
“I’m in love with you, Diego.” She rushed over words that should be said slowly, softly, without waiting for his reaction. She could do this only one way. “I’ve always been in love with you. I was an idiot before. I’m going to spend the rest of my life fighting for us, proving to you that I’m worth it. All I ask is—”
In a second he was kneeling over her, his legs on either side of hers. And then he kissed her. She moaned and wrapped her hands around his nape. Gave his kiss everything she had in her. He wasn’t gentle with her. His hand in her hair kept her where he wanted
her as his tongue plunged into her mouth.
Heat blasted all over her as he pushed up her nightgown with rough hands. His hands cupped her breasts and she whimpered at the pleasure sparking all over.
“Diego, wait...” she managed to say, even as arousal stole through her, lighting an insatiable fire in her body.
He halted, his breathing rough, his palms spread out over her thighs. His face was tight with guilt. “Did I hurt you?”
She laughed and cupped his jaw, her breathing still nowhere near normal. “I won’t break, Diego. I want nothing more than to feel you inside me.” Stealing her fingers into his hair, she pressed an open-mouthed kiss to his lips. Warmth stole through her. Diego’s groan added to it. “But I... You haven’t said anything. I understand if you’re angry, if you’re—”
“Angry?” he said, and the very emotion he was denying crept into his tone. “Try gut-twisting emptiness. I’ve never been more alone, felt more alone in my life than the past week. Everything I have achieved, everything I have—it means nothing without you.”
Her heart leaped into her throat. She felt dizzy—as though someone had sucked out the oxygen from around them.
He touched his forehead to hers. “I love you so much, minha esposinha.” His words reverberated with pain. His features were stark and menacing. “And if you leave me again it will destroy the little good there is in me. It almost did this time.”
Her heart felt as if it would burst out of her chest. Kim wrapped her arms around him and hugged him so tight that her breathing stuttered. It was more than she had ever hoped for. “You love me?”
His gaze was filled with pain. “I can survive if I lose all this wealth, I have survived rejection from pretty much everyone in my life, but I can’t survive losing you. When you left, for a few moments all I could think was that you had gone because everything I had done wasn’t enough. I wasn’t enough.”
“No, Diego. Don’t say that. You’re the most wonderful man I’ve ever met. I just couldn’t bear to be by your side thinking that you would never love me. It hurt so much that you turned away from me. I wanted to ask you. I wanted to...” She shivered and he kissed her temple. “It was nothing to do with you, Diego. I was weak. I...”
“You’re stubborn, arrogant, you drive me to the worst of myself and you’re so damn hard to get through to sometimes. But you’re the toughest woman I know and I love you for everything you are.”
He settled his palm on her belly and she wondered if she would combust from the pride, from the acceptance, from the love in his words.
“I can’t think of a better, stronger mother for my children.”
This fierce, passionate man loved her. She would count herself lucky for the rest of her days. “You really think that, don’t you? I couldn’t believe you trusted me enough to...”
“Of course I do. You might not feel that connection, but I have no doubt that you’ll love our children.”
Kim smiled and hid her face in the crook of his elbow, his words washing over her with a warmth she wanted to keep close. She would tell him in a minute. She would tell him how much joy now flew through her just at the thought of their little family.
“Will you promise me you will never stop fighting for me and you will never give up on me? Even when I don’t believe I’m worthy of you?” she said, fear stealing through her.
He met her gaze and smiled, his hands tight against her waist. And the tenderness in it stole through her. “We will always fight for each other. We will never let ourselves settle for anything less than we deserve. It’s a promise, gatinha.”
* * *
Olivia laughed as strong arms engulfed her from behind and pulled her hard into a body she would know in her sleep. She clamped Alexander’s arms with her fingers, tucking herself even tighter into his embrace.
She should have known he would follow her to Diego’s island.
“You left without telling me,” he whispered near her ear, his hands holding her hard at her ribcage.
Liv closed her eyes and breathed the essence of him, every inch of her trembling with that same happiness that had marked her life the past couple of months.
“I was worried about her,” she said, nodding toward Kim.
Kim and Diego were walking hand in hand at the edge of the water on the beach, lost in each other. Liv couldn’t stop smiling at how Diego’s hand never left her twin, how Kim hadn’t stopped smiling ever since Liv had gotten here.
Alexander kissed her jaw, his hands inching under her T-shirt until they found bare skin. She sucked in a breath at the weight of his palm.
“There’s no need, is there?” he asked.
“No need,” Liv repeated, knowing that he understood. “He loves her, Alexander. Like she deserves to be loved.” She swallowed the tears in her throat. This was a time to rejoice. “I’ve never seen her so happy and glowing. And did you know she’s having—?”
He turned her around, his blue gaze eating her up with a hungry intensity that started an ache in her own body. It was always like that.
But he looked haunted, with deep grooves pinching his mouth. “You got on a plane without telling me after we had a God-awful fight, Liv. You weren’t answering your phone. I asked Emily. She thought it was really funny that I didn’t know where my wife was before she told me. I think my heart stopped for a few moments.”
The edge in his words, the way he was holding her so tight... Liv frowned. Damn her and her impulsive head. “I left my phone by accident. And I should have realized Emily would play with you first. I was really worried about Kim. And I’m sorry about Emily. I know I shouldn’t interfere, but—”
He pressed a soft kiss to her mouth, his hands capturing her face. The love that shone in his gaze took her breath away. “I think I know why you did that. It’s a strange feeling to be protected by my ferocious wife. I love you, Liv,” he whispered.
God, she would never tire of hearing him say it.
“And I’m glad Kim has found happiness.”
Liv nodded and returned his kiss, her own joy making her light-headed. She twined her fingers with his and tugged him forward. “It’s time you met Diego properly, don’t you think?”
She laughed when he raised his brows in an exaggerated way. Her husband and her twin’s husband were just as different as she and Kim were.
Life was going to be really interesting for them, but full of laughter and love.
* * * * *
Keep reading for an excerpt from MILLION DOLLAR CHRISTMAS PROPOSAL by Lucy Monroe.
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PROLOGUE
EYES DRY, HEART shattered, Audrey Miller sat in the chair beside her baby brother’s hospital bed and prayed for him to wake up.
He’d been in a coma since the ambulance brought him in three days ago and she wasn’t leaving him. She wasn’t letting go of him. Not like their parents had done.
Not like their two older siblings had.
How could family act like strangers? Worse than strangers? The rest of the Miller clan had cruelly rejected the incredibly sweet, scary-smart twelve-year-old boy. All because he’d told their parents he was gay.
He was twelve, for heaven’s sake. What difference did it make?
But when he’d refused to recant his wo
rds, had insisted it wasn’t some kind of phase or confusion despite his tender years, their parents had kicked him out.
Audrey couldn’t even imagine it. She wouldn’t have known what do at that age, alone and homeless. Toby had, though.
With nothing more than his saved-up allowance, his laptop, and a backpack full of clothes, he’d made his way south the two hundred miles from Boston to New York.
He hadn’t called ahead, hadn’t questioned. He’d just come to Audrey. He’d trusted her to be there for him when the rest of the family wasn’t and she would never betray that trust.
Audrey hadn’t thought it could get any worse than her parents kicking Toby out, had been sure that given time to consider their actions they would change their minds and let him move back home. They lived in one of the most progressive cities in the country, for goodness’ sake.
But Carol and Randall Miller were not progressive people. She just hadn’t realized how very steeped in narrow-minded conservatism they were.
Not until they gave her an ultimatum: remain a member in good standing with the rest of the family or stick by Toby. They’d made it clear that if she stuck by her little brother and supported him in any way they would withdraw all financial support and cut off all contact with Audrey.
Their plan to scare both of their youngest children into compliance with their strict viewpoint of the world had backfired.
Audrey had refused and when Toby had learned what that cost her, he’d tried to kill himself. Toby had used the Swiss Army knife their father had given him for his twelfth birthday to cut his wrists.
It hadn’t been a cry for help; it had been a testament to his utter wretchedness at their parents’ total rejection. He did it when the house she shared with three other Barnard students was supposed to be empty for several hours.
If Audrey’s roommate hadn’t forgotten a paper she had to turn in and gone back to the house, if Liz hadn’t investigated the running shower when Toby hadn’t answered her call, he would have died there, his blood washing down the drain of their old-fashioned porcelain tub.
