Myselene’s delay in answering provoked Kara to ask again. “Is it true?” The princess recognized that keeping the secret had been politically motivated. But for a young woman on the cusp of Maturity, it was about so much more than whether she deserved by right of blood to be the uncontested heir to two thrones. Some might argue that because she hadn’t known either man - Sorial or Azarak - the identity of her father shouldn’t matter. But it did. She could understand the lie and the reasons for it. And she could forgive… as long as there was truth.
Head bowed, long bangs curtaining her features, Myselene nodded fractionally. Then she raised her head and looked her daughter directly in the eyes. “Yes. It’s true. And, even though I always intended to keep this knowledge from you, a part of me is glad that you know. I can’t forgive the motives of those who told you but… yes, Sorial is your father.”
“How? Why?”
“I’m not sure your…Azarak could have children. His first marriage was childless and Queen Amenia wasn’t barren. He and I… suffice it to say my inability to become pregnant wasn’t from a lack of trying. I was his royal mistress for quite some time before we married and I had learned lessons in arousing and pleasing men from the courtesans of Syre. Whatever the case, Azarak wasn’t able to plant his seed in my belly. If he had lived, maybe it would have happened eventually. Or maybe not. But it doesn’t matter because Justin captured him and burned him alive.”
She paused after saying that. She hadn’t seen Azarak’s execution but, even fifteen years later, any time it was mentioned, she flashed back to the terrible moment when she had been told. Gorton approaching her, face somber. She had known before he had spoken. To that point, she had been sure her king would find a way back to her. Or that Justin would have deemed him too important a captive to kill. So long ago and yet, there were still times when she would awaken in the middle of the night after dreaming of his final moments - the fire licking his skin until it was charred and blackened, his screams of agony weakening and ending, Justin watching impassively. The nightmare images were so vivid that Myselene sometimes wondered if they weren’t more than sleep-induced conjurations.
Shaking her head to refocus, she continued. “I needed a baby as quickly as possible - one who could be plausibly attributed to a last tryst with Azarak before the war separated us. Several alternatives were considered. The most practical would have been to find a pregnant girl at the right stage and ‘adopt’ her baby at birth, but there were no suitable candidates in the refugee camp and we didn’t have the time or manpower to scour all the nearby villages. So I decided on another option: lying with a loyal subject in the hope of conceiving my own child.
“Originally, Rexall was my choice. At the time, he was a member of my personal guard and I could tell he was enamored with me. He bore a passing physical resemblance to Azarak and finding time to be alone with him wouldn’t have been a problem. I was preparing to gauge his interest when Sorial’s wife, the Lady Alicia, came to me with a proposal.
“She confided that she couldn’t have children. Something to do with a sacrifice she had made to the portal in order to become a wizard. Although Sorial claimed this was of no matter, she wanted him to have son or daughter, even if he couldn’t acknowledge the child as his own. So she gave her consent for me to lie with her husband as long as it was strictly for the purposes of conceiving a baby. So that’s what we did and you were the result.”
Kara was stunned by her mother’s tale. “Then the Lady Alicia… she allowed you to…” Kara didn’t know if she could do that - let her husband, the man she loved, have sex with another woman, even if it was for the good of the realm. She knew that many marriages were arrangements of convenience but, by all accounts, Sorial and Alicia had been deeply in love. Several popular ballads recounted their devotion (not to mention a popular bawdy tavern song).
Myselene regarded her daughter gently. She knew this wasn’t easy for Kara. Truth be told, it wasn’t easy for her either - dredging up old memories, pieces of the past that should have been left in the grave with so many of the participants. “It never would have happened without her consent. Sorial wouldn’t have done it. In fact, even knowing that it was her desire, he almost didn’t agree. He loved Alicia so much… I sometimes felt jealous of what they had. It think it’s because they fought so hard and risked so much to be together. At any rate, the first night with him was awkward.” She didn’t elaborate. There were some things no child wanted to know about her parents. “And it wasn’t easy for Alicia. Later, she lost a hand and suffered some terrible burns but I think giving Sorial permission to be with me was the greatest sacrifice she made during the war. It was little easier that she was away when it happened. The stories recount her long journey across the sea to locate the fabled Yu’Tar Library. That’s when you were conceived.”
“How many people knew?”
“Not many. In those days, with Vantok’s succession uncertain, it was dangerous knowledge. So who knew? Me, Sorial, and Alicia, obviously. Rexall guessed - impossible to hide anything from him. I told my first chancellor and Lavella. She too had surmised the truth.”
“And Ferguson.”
Myselene shook her head. “He didn’t know. He couldn’t have, not for certain, and he was dead by the time you were born. He must have guessed. And in his mind, a guess was as good as a certainty. So he wrote down his suspicion and one of his lackeys found it. Fifteen years after his death, he’s still making mischief.”
“What did the prelate intend for me?” Kara was still trying to wrap her mind around her role in Belmar’s scheme. “Was I a symbol? Did he think that being able to claim Sorial’s daughter as a member of his group would enhance his legitimacy? Or was it just about my bloodline and the hope that my children by Bartholemu would have inherited magical capabilities?”
“No one knows what his plans were and he’s not alive to confide them. Revealing the truth about your parentage would have created as many problems as benefits. Your high-profile status would have made it impossible to hide you. I’m sure he knew from the beginning how difficult it was going to be to keep you from falling back into my hands. He thought in purely human terms, though. Lavella had ‘marked’ you from birth. She knew your life signature and was able to track you with little difficulty. It wouldn’t have mattered how far Belmar had traveled or where he had gone - she would have found you. A cave ten miles outside Vantok wasn’t a challenge for her. Belmar’s scheme was doomed to failure but we were worried that, once he realized that, he wouldn’t let you live.”
“Did she have to kill everyone?” The image of all the priests dying, their breath stolen away, was something sure to haunt Kara’s nights for years to come. Belmar had perhaps deserved it but she was sure many of the men in that cavern had been innocent bystanders, caught up in the fervor of a new movement without considering the consequences. She didn’t know, and would never know for sure, if the congregation would have countenanced her rape if she had continued to refuse. If Lavella hadn’t intervened, might she have been able to leave the cave unmolested? Considering Belmar’s fanaticism, that seemed unlikely but it wasn’t impossible.
“I won’t second-guess her actions any more than I would those of a general on a battlefield. She believed it was the only way to ensure your safety and that was her primary mission in the caverns. There was also a personal element to her actions. Lavella was raised in the temple and knew many of the priests attending the ceremony. I’m sure she felt a sense of betrayal that they would participate, however unwittingly, in the kidnapping and potential violation of her princess. This was no minor act of disobedience against the Crown. Their actions constituted high treason and there was no excuse for not recognizing that. All those men would have been hung if they had survived except perhaps Belmar. As Ferguson’s heir and the architect of this heinous scheme, he would have suffered a painful and humiliating end. In a way, Lavella did them a kindness, sparing them public disgrace. They were able to go to their graves quickly an
d anonymously without anyone, their families included, learning the truth.”
Kara blinked back tears. She was sure her mother was right. Those men had been traitors. They had known who she was and had just stood there, watching and waiting to see what would happen, to see how far Belmar would go in pursuit of his ‘new order.’ But not Bartholemu. He had protected her. He had stood against the prelate. And he had suffered the same fate as the rest of them.
“It’s a hard lesson to learn,” said Myselene softly. “And one I wish I could have protected you from. One day when you’re queen, you’ll have to make decisions that will keep you awake at night. Things like what you went through will prepare you for them, just as the war prepared me. I hope you never have to experience the likes of what I endured in Vantok, Basingham, and Obis: loss, torture, humiliation, and betrayal. Your father was there for me, Kara. He stood by my side when few others would have and he proved his loyalty repeatedly. I would have died many times over if not for Sorial. He was a good man. Never doubt that.”
“What happened to him? None of the stories speak of his death. People say that after you retook Vantok, he and Alicia went into the Deep South and vanished.”
“That’s a fair approximation of what happened. He and Alicia sought separate paths into the Otherverse and found them. They wrecked two portals in the process - one in Havenham and one in Ibitsal. On the whole of the continent, only one remains, which is why it’s heavily guarded. Destroy that and there won’t be any more wizards. Sorial and Alicia are dead to this world but alive elsewhere. Before Sorial left, I let him hold you, and there was such a look of wonder on his face… I feared for a moment that he might claim you. And now you’re going to meet him.”
“Meet him?” Confusion crept into Kara’s voice. “Sorial? But I thought you said he’s gone.”
“He exists in the Otherverse and can communicate through the portal. He’s no longer a man; he’s merged with the energies that exist there. But he can appear like a ghost and converse. It’s unsettling but it will give you two a chance to meet. I’ve already spoken to him once since his transition.”
“Am I a wizard?”
Myselene sighed. “I guess we’re going to find out. No one knows, although Lavella hopes it’s the case. She’s been waiting to learn since Alicia conferred the title of Magus Prime on her. Belmar didn’t care. He probably didn’t intend for you to get close enough to the portal to find out. He was interested in what you could bring to a union with Alicia’s cousin. That was Ferguson’s way. Your grandmother had the capacity to be a wizard but Ferguson never bothered to test her. He just used her for breeding.
“If you have the potential, you’ll have to go through the portal. I don’t know much about what it means to hear the call but once you hear it, if you don’t heed it, it will slowly drive you insane. Until this business with Belmar, I wasn’t going to let you go. There’s a strong chance you’ll hear it and, if that happens, you’ll become a wizard. And wizards don’t live very long. It will make a mess of the succession. Selfish on my part, I guess. I’ve been grooming you to follow me on the throne, not follow Lavella in magic.”
Myselene then looked her daughter directly in the eyes and asked a question Kara didn’t expect. “What do you want?”
“Bartholemu and Belmar asked me the same thing. I didn’t know then but I know now. I want to meet my father. I want to hear his voice and have him hear mine.”
“Tomorrow, we’ll hold your delayed Maturity ceremony. The day after, we’ll leave for the portal. You, me, Rexall, Lavella, and five-hundred soldiers. Your father will be waiting for you.”
Chapter Ten
The journey to the portal took the better part of six weeks. The least strenuous path, a necessity for such a large party, was twice as long as the direct one. By going all the way east to the ocean then following the coast south then southeast to the portal, it allowed the battalion to travel across relatively even terrain but added 400 miles to the trip. Using her magic, Lavella went on ahead to prepare the way but Myselene and Kara were forced to travel using traditional means. Although a carriage had been brought for them, neither used it except for sleeping. Both mother and daughter preferred riding. Rexall, although not fond of horses (in part because of all the time he had spent caring for them during his youth), had no choice but to join them since it would have been unseemly for him to lounge in the carriage on his own. This resulted in a fair amount of grumbling on his part.
The trip, although long, had been mostly uneventful to this point. It had given mother and daughter an opportunity to talk openly as they had rarely done in the past. It had also provided Kara with a chance to come to terms with her new identity and the possibility that her reality could change radically when she reached the journey’s conclusion.
Did she want to be a wizard? Ultimately, she supposed, she wouldn’t have much say in the matter. If the portal called her, Myselene had made it clear that she would have to answer. She understood there was some element of risk in entering but Lavella had said she could find no record of anyone responding to the portal that had died unless their way had been blocked by another wizard. With Kara’s element being acknowledged as fire and with no fire-wizard existing (at least insofar as they were aware), the path should be clear.
But did she want to be a wizard? With the mantle came great power and respect - even more than she would have as a queen. But there were darker aspects to using magic. Its application was said to be addictive and her expected lifespan would be cut in half. Lavella, who hadn’t become a wizard until age 30 and was judicious in using her powers, looked far older than her actual 45 years. And, in an unguarded moment, she had admitted to Kara that it was a daily struggle not to use magic wastefully. There was a compulsion to employ it for everything, even menial tasks, because of the sense of fulfillment that arose from its employment.
She and her mother had arrived at a mutual agreement that she couldn’t be both a wizard and the Crown Princess. Although it was tempting to consider the possibility of a wizard-queen, the reality was that Myselene would most likely outlive a magical daughter. So, if Kara was accepted by the portal, she would step aside for her brother.
The irony of that possibility amused Rexall to no end. To think that his natural-born child might one day be the king of Vantok and Obis… it boggled the mind. Since the demise of the gods, Ayberia had become a strange place where the seemingly impossible could happen. What would his fifteen-year old self have thought of that? Back then, he had accepted questionable jobs from Ferguson for a small pouch of coins. Now, he lived in the palace, slept with the queen, and might be about to see Artur, his oldest boy, named as heir.
Comecomecome. The first time Kara heard it, it was faint and indistinct - a distant whisper on the wind. She said nothing because she wasn’t sure it was real.
Comecomecome. Now it was more insistent, less uncertain. Having been warned about what to expect, she knew what it was. She was a wizard. Or at least she could become one if she stepped into the portal. Her destiny was set. No more choices. The die had been cast.
She stopped her horse and dismounted. Lavella, who had returned to the group a few hours ago following a visit to the troops guarding the portal, approached her. Myselene also went to her daughter. They knew.
“Do you hear it?” The magus spoke softly, as if her words might chase away something fragile.
“It’s telling me to ‘come’.” The call was gentle like the lure of a lover. She thought briefly of Bartholemu and how he had whispered to her in the darkness.
Myselene did her best to hide her disappointment. Although she understood the importance, both symbolic and practical, of having her firstborn be a wizard, it crushed her plans for Kara to follow her on the throne. It wasn’t that she thought Artur to be less capable - he was only eight years old and young enough to be groomed for the role - but, from her conception, Kara had been special. Azarak’s child. Sorial’s child.
As soothing as the po
rtal’s voice was, it frightened Kara. The implications were inescapable. She was going to the portal not just to meet her father but to follow in his footsteps. Now that it was a reality, she knew the answer to the question that had plagued her since Belmar’s revelation: no, she didn’t want to be a wizard. But fate would not…could not…be denied.
She was surprised when her mother enfolded her in a hug. Not normally given to public displays of any kind of emotion (especially affection), Myselene showed her support and love with the uncharacteristic gesture. For a moment, Kara allowed herself to be a scared girl again and clung to the queen.
“Let’s go meet your father and your destiny,” Myselene whispered, careful that her words wouldn’t be overheard.
At dawn two days later, the queen and princess entered the portal chamber alone. It had been agreed that they would meet with Sorial before Kara entered the portal with her mother as the sole witness. Those were Myselene’s terms and the land’s only wizard didn’t dispute them. It wasn’t as if there was a particular procedure to be observed. Lavella would be waiting just outside in case she was needed.
Unlike the other portals, which the gods had placed in cities, the Sitrap Mountain location was situated within a huge fortress. Myselene had often wondered who had constructed and inhabited this place but even Lavella, with her vast knowledge of history, couldn’t answer the question. Little was known about The Forbidden Lands and the habitations of the Deep South. Myselene had considered sending expeditions to places unknown but, mindful of how many men had been lost on such journeys in the past, she had refrained. This wasn’t a part of her realm. Vantok had lost far too many men during the war to be able to afford sending explorers to search the southern reaches of the continent. Better for her to concentrate on healing and unifying the six cities than to overreach by grabbing new territory.
The Last Whisper of the Gods Saga: Stories from Ayberia Page 25
