I go to find somewhere to hide when I run smack into exactly who I wanted to hide from. Two hands catch me before I fall, and I look up to find Jace's eyes looking right back into mine. My breath hitches as I feel the way his touch burns under the surface.
"Paige?" he asks.
Shaking my head, I try to walk away. "Nope, wrong girl. Sorry."
He chuckles, and with a hold on my wrist, he pulls me back. "Paige."
I start to run my fingers through my hair, until I realize Charlotte sprayed half a bottle of hairspray into it, as if making me look like a total hooker with eyeshadow up to my brows wasn't enough. I probably just messed up all of her hard work, but it's not like things can get worse now.
"They said it'll just be a couple minutes," Brad says as he comes back.
Okay, I lied. It absolutely can get worse.
Jace looks over at Brad, and his brows furrow. Meanwhile, Brad is glancing back and forth between Jace and me. If I ever had a worst nightmare, this would be it. I'm here. I'm living it.
"Uh Jace, this is Brad," I introduce them to try to get rid of the awkward tension.
Brad extends his hand toward Jace. "Her date."
Fuck.
Jace smirks and gives me a look that makes me roll my eyes but shakes his hand anyway.
"Jace," he says, and I'm surprised he's being the bigger person in this pissing war. "Her soulmate."
Nope, once again, spoke too soon.
My heart pounds inside of my chest as I watch them stare each other down. It’s so bad I’m waiting for one of them to try peeing on me to mark their territory. Something needs to stop this. Anything. Literally fucking anything.
"How are you here? I thought you were on house arrest?" I ask.
Ugh, anything but that. For fucks' sake, this is why I should just stay home.
Jace's attention leaves Brad the second he realizes he has mine, and he peers out the door before looking back at me. "I was here with Finn and my dad, going over the case. Technically, it's considered a meeting with my lawyer."
"It's next week, right?"
He rubs the back of his neck. "Yeah. I leave for Florida on Sunday."
"Jace," his dad calls, having come back in. "We have to go. The car's waiting."
"Be right there," he answers.
Mr. London doesn't look amused, but when he sees me, he smiles. "Hey, Paige."
"Hey Mr. L." I focus back on Jace and nudge him lightly. "You should go. And good luck."
Looking me up and down, he pinches his lips together and nods. "Thanks. It was good seeing you again."
"You, too."
He opens his arms for a hug, and before I can consider what a monumentally bad idea it is, I go in willingly. It's almost as if I didn't have a choice. My face rests against his chest as he holds me close and I breathe in the smell of his cologne. It isn't until I remember the amount of make-up Charlotte put on me that I gasp.
I pull away, only to see a whole cheek mark of foundation all over his white shirt. "Oh, my God. I'm so sorry."
I try to wipe it away, but it's only making it worse as he grabs my wrist and snickers. "It's fine." He bends down and kisses my cheek before bringing his lips to my ear. "You look better without it."
With that, he turns and walks toward his dad, and the two of them head out the door. Cameras flash and questions are shouted as he walks through the group of photographers and gets in the black SUV. When it pulls away, I sigh—already feeling that ache in my chest.
"Friend of yours?" Brad questions, looking a bit uncomfortable.
Friend. As if that word even begins to describe all that Jace London has been to me. "Something like that."
The hostess calls our name, and Brad puts his hand on my lower back as we head to the table, but it's not the same. Nothing is ever the same.
THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE DATE, I cannot seem to focus on anything except the one thing I should definitely not be focused on right now. Everything would be perfect, if it wasn't for Jace. The food is delicious. Brad is asking all the right questions. And he looks like the kind of guy I'd go for. But he's not.
He doesn't have hair I want to braid while he's sleeping, just to be tickled for it after he wakes up. He doesn't have eyes that make me feel like he sees right through to my soul. And he doesn't have a voice that could make me do anything he wants at any given moment.
Brad is everything I should want, wrapped with a pretty red bow, and I can see why Charlotte was so insistent on setting me up with him. She only wants what's best for me, and if I let myself, Brad probably could be exactly that. But I can't.
I just can't.
I don't want to.
Because the truth is, I gave my heart away years ago, and he's holding it hostage with no intentions to ever return it.
We finish our meals, and he pays the whole check regardless of how much I try to fight him on it. As we're ready to leave, he offers me his hand to help me up like a perfect gentleman, and it only makes me feel worse.
"I'm sorry," I tell him.
He shrugs. "I get it. I've had an ex or three. I know how it goes."
I feel bad. This guy was promised a date, and instead, all he got was a girl who can't seem to get her mind off her ex.
I was doing so well. I'd gone over a month without seeing him. I didn't even so much as call him. And all the text messages I typed out when I was feeling weak, they went unsent.
But tonight, seeing him again, brought me right back to that place. Just like it did when I saw him again in January. Just like every day over the years that I swore to myself I'd get over him. It's something I have no control over. Our fate was written in the stars.
SWINGING MY DOOR OPEN, I instantly collapse on my bed. Sometimes, it feels like crying is all I ever do anymore, but I can't help it.
I grip at my chest, trying to make the pain stop when a familiar voice grabs my attention. "You look like you could use a friend."
As if God answered my prayers, Becca stands in the doorway, looking like an actual angel. I put my arms out, and she crawls into my bed to hold me—no cares in the world if I get tears and snot all over her or not.
"What are you doing here?" I ask, holding her tight. "I thought you weren't coming home until next week."
She chuckles. "Well, when you told me you were going on a date, I figured I should probably get an earlier flight." She pulls away and looks down at me, seeing the makeup smeared all over my face. "Good thing I did, huh?"
A wet laugh leaves my mouth, and I shake my head. "How'd you know?"
It takes her a minute to talk, like she's choosing her words carefully. "Do you remember when we got to SCU and you tried going out with that one guy?"
"Our RA."
"Yeah, that one," she confirms. "You came home from that date looking like someone kicked your puppy."
I sigh, remembering the memory well. That guy was a total tool, and all it did was make me miss Jace even more. At least Brad was nice, but in a way that made it worse. Because that means the issue isn't with him, or any other guy, for that matter. It's me.
"I don't know what to do," I cry, not needing to specify what I'm referring to. She already knows. "It's like I can't be with him, but I can't not be with him either."
She runs her hand up and down my back. "You can say it, babe. You're in love with him."
"I can't say it. If I say it, then it's real. If I say it, I can't take it back."
Becca rolls me away from her, wiping some of the tears and mascara from under my eyes. "Even if you don't say it, I think you're well past the point of being able to take it back."
The tears start to come faster and harder as I realize she's right. I'm hopeless. I'll forever be emotionally tied to him, whether he's down the street, in a prison across the country, or six feet under. I don't think I will ever rid myself of him.
Jace London is a permanent fixture in the center of my universe, and there's nothing I can do about it.
"What am I going to do?" I ask
as I start to calm down.
She inhales deeply and sighs. "That depends. What do you want to do?"
It's a loaded question, and one I really don't have the answer to right now. But I do know one thing that might help. I sit up and pull my plastic-feeling hair into a messy bun.
"For starters, I want some ice cream," I tell her.
My best friend chuckles and rolls off my bed. "Let's get you some ice cream then."
And when I'm halfway through a pint of Ben and Jerry's, it hits me so hard that my gasp scares the shit out of Becca.
He was sober.
It's an odd feeling, leaving a place you're not sure if you're ever going to get to come back to. The comfort of my room. The smell of my home. The pictures on the wall. I commit them all to memory, because if this trial doesn't go my way, there's a chance I'll never see this place again.
Carter lies spread across my bed, taking up the whole thing. I swear, sharing a bed with him is damn near impossible. He kicks. He punches. And he will literally try to cuddle with anything, making it hard to get away from him. Lord help the woman he ends up with, that's all I've got to say.
"Fucker!" I yell, but he doesn't even flinch.
Grabbing the football off my shelf—my autographed Randy Moss ball that my dad got me for my thirteenth birthday—I throw a perfectly aimed toss right into his dick. Every part of me mentally thanks my dad for all those football camps he sent me to as Carter's eyes shoot open and he curls into the fetal position.
"The fuck is wrong with you?" he groans, voice sounding a little squeaky. "I want kids one day."
I cringe at his words. "That's a scary thought."
In one quick move, he grabs the football and chucks it back at me, but my dad sticks out a hand to catch it before it breaks something. He shakes his head as he puts it back on the shelf.
"Didn't you two cause enough damage in here?" he teases with a serious tone. "I really don't feel like spending another ten grand. Thanks."
Leaning back in my chair, I shrug. "I was trying to clean it out for you. Mom can change it into a fourth closet when I'm gone."
A hand comes up and smacks me across the back of the head. I hiss at the pain but still laugh at the way my dad gives me a look that dares me to say anything else about it.
"The plane takes off in six hours," he calls as he walks out of my room. "Be ready!"
I rub the spot that still stings, and Carter smirks at me from the bed.
"Karma’s a bitch."
THE TWO OF US spend the day doing the most normal things we can think of. Video games. Drinking beer. Bullshitting about women. And of course, he wouldn't be Carter if he didn't bring up the fact that I ran into Paige the other day.
"I wonder if her and Brad are actually dating."
Even the thought of that douchebag makes me want to punch someone in the face. Seeing her with him, it took everything in me to keep my cool, but I did it for her. He looked like one of those stupid Ken dolls I always hated as a kid. If someone could break his jaw, I'd be thankful.
I shrug and focus on the game of Madden we're playing. "No idea."
My best friend snickers. "Oh, sure. Act like you don't care."
"I'm not saying I don't. You're not stupid enough to believe that."
"Then why aren't you over there?" he says, throwing his hands in the air. "Get her over here and claim your fucking girl. Take what we both know has been yours all along."
It's not something I haven't considered. I mean, not knowing how this week is going to go, all I've wanted is to spend this time with her and make the most of it. But that's not fair to her.
"For what?" I ask. "So that I could potentially get sentenced to life in prison and have to leave her anyway? She'd never leave me, and that's part of the problem. She deserves better than that."
He looks like he wants to fight it but realizes there isn't even a fight to have. "And when—and yes I mean when—you win, what then?"
A smirk makes its way onto my face. "Then all bets are off. She's mine."
Carter claps once and stands up. "Sounds like a plan. I've got to go pack. I'll be back in an hour."
"Wait," I stop him. "I was thinking you should just stay here."
His brows furrow as he stares back at me. "The fuck would I do that for?"
"You act tough, but you know as well as I do that going back there will be hard on you. It's why neither one of us cared when we got expelled. We never had any intentions of going back anyway."
"Yeah, but this is different," he argues. "My brother needs me."
I shake my head and look down at my lap. "You've got to stay here, man. Plan the huge party you're going to throw when I come back. But you're staying here."
He runs his fingers through his hair and sits on my bed. "What if it goes wrong?"
"Then it goes wrong," I answer lightheartedly. "We'll get through it, no matter what. Just like we've gotten through everything else for over a decade."
Carter looks over at me, and I can tell we're both getting upset. The severity of all this isn't lost on either of us. And while we vowed to always stay together, we don't know if that's a promise we can keep anymore. It's a harsh reality that we need to face.
Standing up, he comes over and we hug for the first time in years. We pat each other on the back in a silent message and hold on a little longer.
This isn't the end.
THE PRIVATE JET FEELS too big. There's so much space for just Finn, my dad, and I. When they booked the flight, the plan was for my mom and Brax to be coming with, but after a lot of begging on my part, they agreed to stay home. No mother needs to see her son’s character picked apart in front of a room of people.
My dad and Finn run through all the evidence in the case one more time, making notes of things and making sure everything is in line. But me? I stay quiet. Tucked away in the corner and staring out the window, watching the country below me pass by.
I always imagined Paige and me taking flights together. She's had a thing for traveling for as long as I can remember. That girl is a wild one. She was never meant to stay in the same place for long.
Looking at it now, I wish she were here to see it with me.
I wish she were here in general.
MY NIGHT IS FULL of tossing and turning. I would be surprised if I got more than five minutes of sleep. Hell, for at least two hours I stared at my phone, hovering over Paige's contact and wondering if I should call her. In the end, I turned my phone off and shoved it inside my nightstand.
I'm standing in front of the tall mirror, messing with the tie that just doesn't seem to look right. My dad comes into the room and sees me struggling. Stepping in front of me, he smacks my hands away.
"How are you feeling?" he asks.
I swallow and try to stay calm. "Like I'm going to be sick."
He works on tying the perfect Windsor knot and nods. "Well, I just want you to know that I'm on your side. No matter what comes out. No matter what the verdict comes back as. I'm on your side, and nothing is going to change that."
"That sounds really assuring, Dad," I tease. "Thanks."
Pulling the tie tighter than necessary, he huffs. "You know what I mean. Just know that if for some reason this doesn't go how we want, the fight isn't over. We'll file every appeal and injunction possible. You're not going down for a crime you didn't commit."
I don't say anything as he pats me on the shoulder and leaves the room. I fix my collar and stare at myself in the mirror, wondering where my life is going to go from here. Feeling the anxiety starting to build, I go over to the nightstand and grab my phone.
As soon as it comes to life, I dial the number and put it to my ear.
"Hey, Jace."
I take a deep breath, trusting that she can help me. "Talk me through it again, Doc."
AS WE DRIVE THROUGH the streets of Tallahassee, I feel on edge, but it's nothing compared to before. Dr. Litman has been working with me on different techniques so I can control my anxiety with
out immediately reaching for a pill or two.
My dad and Finn stay alarmingly silent, and when we pull up, the reporters that swarm the courthouse are no surprise. Finn walks in front of us to dodge all questions while my dad stays by my side. I keep my head down and just focus on getting inside.
As soon as we step through the door, I see them.
Grayson.
Savannah.
Wyatt.
Hayden.
Emma.
Becca.
Delaney.
Zayn.
Carter.
Paige.
They're all dressed up and looking like a dream team. Carter spins around, and when he sees me, his smile grows. I shake my head as I walk over to them and focus on my best friend.
"I thought I told you to stay the hell home," I say as I pull him in for a hug.
He scoffs and rolls his eyes. "We stick together man. Always."
Each of my friends I haven't seen in months approach to say hello and wish me luck, except Grayson. He makes some joke about me being voted the least likely to commit a murder, but that crazier shit happens every day. Savannah elbows him in the stomach, and we all laugh. I knew I liked her.
There's only one person left to talk to when Mr. Trayland comes over and tells us it's time to go in. But as everyone starts walking toward the courtroom, I grab Paige's wrist to hold her back. Carter glances back at me, but when he sees who I'm standing with, he chuckles.
"I'll meet you in there," I tell him.
He once again makes a circle with one hand and shoves a finger from his other hand in and out of it. We both laugh at his antics, expecting nothing less from him.
Man-child.
Once they're gone, I turn to Paige, who looks every bit as good as I expected her to. She's got her hair pulled back into a bun, and the skirt she's wearing is teacher-hot.
“You came," I breathe.
She tilts her head, slightly surprised. “You’re sober.”
Change My Game: An Emotional Second Chance Romance (North Haven University Book 2) Page 22
