“Gracie, this is Jim Biederot. He was the Stars’ quarterback for a lot of years, and the two of us played some good ball together.”
Biederot’s discomfort was obvious. “Nice to meet you, Gracie.”
Luther popped up at between them, sparing Gracie the need to reply. “Pastor Frank is about to give the invocation. Come on, you two.”
Gracie could feel Bobby Tom’s frustration as Luther pulled them toward the dining room. “We’ll talk about this later,” he warned her under his breath. “Don’t think we won’t.”
To Gracie, the dinner felt as if it dragged on for hours, although everyone else seemed to be having a good time. The guests began table-hopping not long after the main course was served, and she knew that she had become one of the chief topics of conversation. She was certain none of his friends could fathom why he’d tied himself to such a drab little sparrow, especially one who seemed to have lost the power of speech.
Although Bobby Tom didn’t show it, she’d obviously embarrassed him, and he would never believe she hadn’t done it deliberately. Even now she didn’t want to hurt him. He couldn’t help being what he was, just as she couldn’t, which was why she hadn’t been able to put on her stylish clothes and pretty makeup tonight.
The people of Telarosa acted both insulted and puzzled by her appearance and her silence. It was as if she’d shown up drunk instead of simply wearing bad clothes. Suzy wanted to know if she was ill, Toolee Chandler followed her to the rest room and asked if she’d lost her mind showing up looking like that, and Terry Jo met her on the way out to scold her for embarrassing Bobby Tom.
Gracie couldn’t take any more. “Bobby Tom and I are no longer engaged.”
Terry Jo’s lips parted in surprise. “But, Gracie, that’s not right. It’s obvious to everybody how much you two love each other.”
This was suddenly more than she could bear. Without a word, she turned away and fled from the building.
A little over an hour later, she heard the thud of boots taking the stairs outside her apartment two at a time, and then a hard fist connecting with her door. Still dressed in her white blouse and navy skirt, she had been sitting in her darkened bedroom trying to come to terms with her future. She got up from the chair, turned on a light, and passed a weary hand back through her hair, which was freed now from its bobby pins. Trying to compose herself, she walked through the living room and opened the door.
After all this time, she still had to catch her breath at the sight of him, always larger than life, standing on the landing and filling up the empty space with his presence. The diamond studs in the front of his lavender shirt glittered like distant planets, and he had never seemed so far removed from her own earthbound existence.
She had expected his anger, but not his concern. He took off his hat as he came inside. “What’s wrong, honey? Are you sick?”
Some ignoble, cowardly part of her wanted to say yes, but she was made of sterner stuff and she shook her head.
He pulled the door shut with a hard thud and turned to confront her. “Then you’d better tell me what you thought you were doing tonight. You show up looking like hell and stand around like somebody’s cut out your tongue. Then you put the icing on the cake by telling Terry Jo we aren’t engaged anymore! Everybody in town knows it by now.”
She didn’t want to fight with him. She just wanted to leave this town and find a quiet place where she could lick her wounds. How could she make him understand that she would have given him anything he’d asked of her, but only if she could have given it for free?
He glared at her, all his sunny charm replaced by a crackling anger. “I’m not going to play twenty questions with you, Gracie. I just walked out on a lot of people who are doing me a big favor, and I want to know why you picked tonight to embarrass me.”
“I found out today that you’re the one who’s been paying my salary.”
The first hint of wariness appeared in his eyes. “So what?”
The fact that he would even attempt to dismiss this as unimportant showed how little he understood her and made the pain sharper. How could she have believed, even for a moment, that he loved her? “You lied to me!”
“I don’t recall ever remarking on who your employer was one way or the other.”
“Don’t play games with me! You know how I feel about taking money from you, but you did this anyway.”
“You were working for me. You earned it.”
“There wasn’t any job, Bobby Tom! I had to look for things to do.”
“That’s crazy. You’ve been working all kinds of hours getting ready for this golf tournament.”
“That’s only been for the last few days. What about all the time before then? I was getting paid for doing nothing!”
He tossed his hat on the nearest chair. “That’s not true, and I don’t know why you’re making such a big deal out of this. They were going to fire you, and, no matter what you say, I needed somebody to work for me. It’s that simple.”
“If it’s that simple, why didn’t you ask me to work for you straight out?”
He shrugged and headed behind the open counter into the kitchenette situated at the end of the living room. “You got any Alka-Seltzer?”
“Because you knew I’d say no.”
“This is a ridiculous conversation. Willow was going to fire you and it was my fault.” He opened the cupboard’ over the sink.
“So you hired me out of pity because you thought I was too incompetent to take care of myself.”
“That wasn’t it at all. Stop twisting my words!” He abandoned his search of the cupboard. “I’m trying to keep an open mind about this, but I don’t see the problem.”
“You knew how important this was to me, and you didn’t even care.”
It was as if she hadn’t spoken. He walked back around the counter into the living room, stripping off his jacket as he talked. “Maybe it’s just as well all this has come out. I’ve been thinking it over, and this is probably as good a time as any for us to make a more permanent arrangement.” He tossed his jacket over a chair. “We’re leaving for L.A. in a couple of weeks, and I’ve decided to hire you as my full-time assistant at triple what you’re making now. And don’t start acting like you won’t be earning your paycheck. I’m not going to have time to attend to all my business while I’m spending ten hours a day on a soundstage.”
“I can’t do that.”
“Matter of fact, I want you to go out there a couple of days early and find us a place to live.” He sat down on the couch and propped his boots up on the coffee table. “I think a pool’d be nice, don’t you, and look for someplace with a good view. Buy yourself a car, while you’re at it; we’ll need another one.”
“Don’t do this, Bobby Tom.”
“And you’ve got to have some more clothes, so I’ll set up an expense account. No more outlet stores, Gracie. You go right over to Rodeo Drive and buy the best.”
“I’m not going to L.A. with you!”
He tugged his shirt from the waistband of his pants and began opening the studs. “This foundation idea of yours— I’m not nearly ready to make a commitment because I still think the whole thing’s crazy, but I’ll let you play around with it and see what you come up with.” He dropped his feet to the floor and rose from the couch, his shirt falling away from his bare chest. “I’ve got to be up at five tomorrow, sweetheart, so unless you want to see me make a fool of myself on the golf course, we’d better head for the bedroom right now.” Closing the distance between them, he began working at the buttons on her blouse.
“You’re not hearing anything I’m saying.” She tried to step away, but he held her firmly.
“That’s because you talk too much.” He lowered the zipper on the side of her skirt and dragged her into the bedroom.
“I’m not going to L.A.”
“Sure you are.” He nearly upended her as he pulled off her shoes, tossed the skirt to the side, and tugged down her panty hose. She sto
od before him in her panties, bra, and open blouse.
“Please, Bobby Tom. Listen.”
His eyes skimmed over her. “Please me. That’s what you said you wanted to do, isn’t it?” His hands went to his own zipper, and he lowered it.
“Yes, but—”
He grabbed her arm. “No more talk, Gracie.” Still fully dressed, but with his shirt and pants open, he pushed her down on the bed and fell on her.
A flutter of uneasiness passed through her as he shoved a hard knee between her thighs. “Wait!”
“There’s no reason to wait.” His hands yanked at her panties and his weight pinioned her while he stripped them away. She felt his knuckles dig into her pubic bone as he freed himself.
“I don’t like this!” she cried.
“Give me a minute, and you will.”
He was using sex to avoid talking to her, and she hated it. “I said I don’t like it! Get off me.”
“All right.” Imprisoning her in his arms, he rolled her so she was on top of him, but he held her bottom so tightly and pushed so insistently against her, that she felt no freer.
“No!”
“Make up your mind.” He rolled her beneath him again.
“Stop it!”
‘ “You don’t want me to stop, and you know it.” His powerful chest pressed her to the mattress while he caught her behind the knees and shoved them apart, leaving her open and vulnerable. As she felt his fingers probe her, she balled her hand into a fist and slugged him in the back of the head as hard as she could.
“Ow!” He gave a yelp of pain and rolled off her, cradling his head with his hand. “Why’d you go and do that?” he cried indignantly.
“You ass!” She went after him, her fists flying despite the pain in her hand. As he lay on the bed, she swung at everything she could reach. He held up his arms to ward off her blows, yelping as a few of them landed on a tender spot, but not trying to restrain her.
“Stop it! That hurts, dammit! Ouch! What’s wrong with you?”
“Damn you!” Her hands were throbbing with pain. She took one last swing at him and settled back on her heels. Her chest heaved as she clutched her blouse closed. His physical aggression hadn’t been about sex, it had been about power, and at that moment she hated him for it.
He lifted his arms away from his head and gazed at her warily.
She threw herself from the bed and fumbled for the robe hanging on the back of the door. Her hands were aching so badly she had difficulty putting it on.
“Maybe we’d better talk about this, Gracie.”
“Get out of here.”
She heard the mattress creak and the sound of his footsteps as he left the room. Cradling her throbbing hands in her lap, she sagged down on the side of the bed, stifling a sob. It was finally over between them. She’d known today that it had to happen, but she’d never imagined it would end so bitterly.
She tensed as she heard him come back into the room. “I told you to leave.”
He pressed something cold between her hands, ice cubes wrapped in a dishtowel. His voice sounded thready and slightly hoarse, as if he were pushing it through some tight, polluted place. “This should keep them from swelling up.”
She stared down at the ice pack because she couldn’t look at him. Her love for him had always felt like something warm and good, but now it felt oppressive. “Please go.”
His voice was barely a whisper. “I never did anything like that to a woman in my life. Gracie, I’m sorry. I’d do anything in the world to take back what just happened.”
The mattress sagged next to her. “I couldn’t stand to hear you say you weren’t going with me, and I had to make you stop talking. Why are you doing this, Gracie? We’ve had a real good time together. We’re friends. There’s no reason for it to stop just because of a misunderstanding.”
She finally allowed herself to look at him and was struck by the unhappiness in his eyes. “It’s a lot more than a misunderstanding,” she whispered. “I can’t be with you any longer.”
“Of course you can. We’ll have a lot of fun in L.A. And as soon as the picture’s over, I’ve been thinking we should take my mom on a cruise.”
At that moment she knew she had to be honest with him. She needed to find the courage to speak what was in her heart, not because she thought it would change anything, but because she would never be able to heal if she didn’t do this. Meeting his eyes, she spoke the most difficult words she’d ever had to utter. “I love you, Bobby Tom. I’ve loved you almost from the beginning.”
He didn’t look surprised by her admission, and his casual acceptance was another knife wound. She realized he’d known the way she felt all along, and contrary to her fantasies, he hadn’t reciprocated at all.
He brushed his thumb over her cheek. “It’s all right, honey. I’ve had experience with this before, and we can work it out.”
Her voice was a dry rasp. “Experience with what?”
“With this.”
“With women telling you they love you?”
“Heck, Gracie, it’s just one of those things. It doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. We are friends. You might be just about the best friend I ever had.”
He was driving nails into her, and he didn’t even know it.
“See, Gracie, it doesn’t have to spoil anything. Something I’ve learned over the years is that, as long as everybody’s polite about it, there isn’t any need for all kind of big scenes and carrying on. People can still be friends.”
The corners of the ice cubes dug into her throbbing hands. “You’re still friends with all the other women who’ve told you they loved you?”
“Almost all of them. And I want to stay that way with you. Now, I don’t really think we have to talk about it anymore. We’ll just go on the way we were, and everything’ll work out. You’ll see.”
The declaration of love that was so shattering to her was nothing more than a social embarrassment to him. If she’d needed any more proof of how little she meant to him, she’d just received it, and she felt numb and humiliated. “You still think I’m going to take the job you’re offering?”
“You’d be crazy not to.”
“You don’t understand anything, do you?” Her eyes brimmed with tears.
“Now, Gracie—”
“I’m not taking the job,” she said softly. “On Monday I’m leaving to go back to New Grundy.”
“You don’t like the salary? Fine. We’ll negotiate.”
“For all your talk, you don’t know the first thing about love.” Tears spilled over her lashes and rolled down her cheeks. She slipped the chain that held his Super Bowl ring over her head and pressed it into his palm. “I love you, Bobby Tom, and I’ll love you till the day I die. But I’ve never been for sale. I was a free offering all along.”
Bobby Tom strode across the yard at a slow, even pace. Halfway over he stopped to admire the moon, just in case Gracie was watching him from the window, but he didn’t take as long about it as he wanted because he was having trouble breathing. He resumed his course toward the back door, forcing himself not to pick up his pace. He even tried to whistle, but his mouth was too dry. The ring in his pocket felt as if it were burning a hole through his hip; he wanted to pull the damned thing out and throw it as far from him as he could.
When he got inside the house, he closed the door then leaned against it, squeezing his eyes shut. He’d blown it, and he didn’t even know how. Dammit! He was the one who did the rejecting. He was the one who decided when it was time to end a relationship! But she didn’t understand that. She’d never understood the simplest things. What kind of fool would refuse the opportunity of a lifetime just to go back to some podunk town and empty bedpans?
He pushed himself away from the door and stalked through the kitchen. He wasn’t going to feel guilty about this. Gracie was the one who’d done the rejecting, and this was on her conscience, not his. So she loved him. Of course, she loved him; he couldn’t help who he was. But
had she ever stopped to think for a minute about how he felt? The fact that he cared about her hadn’t seemed to enter her mind. She thought she was so sensitive, but she didn’t have a single qualm about stomping all over his feelings. She was the best friend he’d ever had, but she hadn’t bothered to think about that.
The bedroom door banged against the wall as he pushed through it. Dammit! If Gracie figured she was going to send him into a tailspin by walking out on him, she could think again because he wasn’t going to take this from her. She’d said she wasn’t leaving until Monday, and he knew she’d be at the hoedown tomorrow night because she was running the Arbor Hills quilt lottery, and she always fulfilled her responsibilities. Well, he’d be ready for her.
Before he went to bed tonight, he was going to call Bruno and have him fly in an army of his old girlfriends. Tomorrow night at the hoedown, he intended to keep himself surrounded by beautiful women. Let Gracie Snow see exactly what she was walking away from. When she had to sit on the sidelines like some damned wallflower and watch all those sex trophies hanging on him, she’d come to her senses. A dose of reality was exactly what she needed. Before he knew it, she’d be trying to catch his attention so she could tell him she’d reconsidered. And because he loved her like a friend, he wouldn’t even make her grovel.
He stared bleakly down at his empty bed. Tomorrow night she’d learn her lesson. Damned straight she would. She’d learn that no woman in her right mind ever walked away from Bobby Tom Denton!
23
Thanks to Gracie’s stubbornness, Bobby Tom played the worst round of golf of his life—and in his own damned tournament, too. As a result, he was forced to endure endless ribbing by his friends, their baiting tempered only by the news of his broken engagement.
That night, when he arrived at the hoedown, he felt so worn down he could barely hold up his end of the conversation with the sex trophies Bruno had, sent from Chicago. Amber made a point of telling him she was considering a career as a microbiologist when she got bored with exotic dancing; Charmaine announced she was a Leo born under the House of the International Pancake, or some such bullshit, and Payton was hinting around to take the freakin’ football quiz! Bobby Tom wanted to dump all three of them on Troy Aikman, but he needed them nearby if he was going to bring Gracie to her senses.
Heaven, Texas Page 33
