by Cora Carmack
“Hi sweetheart.” She leaned up and kissed my cheek before turning to Bliss.
“Mum, this is Bliss. Bliss, my mother.”
She smiled. “What a name.”
Bliss knotted her fingers together. “Um . . . thank you?”
Mum’s smile was all red lips, white teeth, and sugared kindness. It was the razor-sharp tongue behind those teeth that I was worried about.
“Mrs. Taylor,” Bliss began. “I am so sorry about the vase. I don’t even know how to begin apologizing.”
“Then don’t.” God, my mother’s voice should be listed on WebMD as a cause of frostbite. “It was just an accident after all.”
“I am so very sorry though. And so thankful that you’ve welcomed me into your home. It’s so nice to meet you. And I’m just so, so happy to be here.”
“So you are. And we’re happy that our Garrick has come home. And brought you along, of course.”
“Yes, I’m so happy to be here.”
“You’ve already said that much.” She turned to me then. “She’s very sweet, Garrick. Is it just the clumsiness she’s overcompensating for? Or something worse?”
And so it began.
I laughed like she was joking. Because that’s how you have to handle my mother. She wants a reaction, and humor is the safest one. I kept laughing, and after a few moments, Bliss’s uneasy laugh joined mine.
I changed the subject before Mum could point out that she wasn’t, in fact, joking.
“Was this party your idea, Mother?”
She gave me a look before rolling her eyes toward Dad. “Your father wanted to make sure you and your fiancée had the best welcome possible.”
Read: He wanted to take advantage of the opportunity to show off. The “best welcome” was just the company line. And though my mother certainly had her issues, I loved her for not even pretending to go along with it.
“Right. Thanks for that.”
She gave a single, solitary chuckle and took a long drink from her champagne. Mum hated events like this. I suppose that was at least one thing that she and Bliss had in common.
I saw Bliss fidgeting with her shirt and shifting her feet.
“Mum, would you excuse us for a moment? Since we had no warning, we’re not quite dressed for a party. We’ll get changed and then come back down.”
“Of course, dear. That’s definitely a good idea. Just casual party attire will do fine.”
As we turned to grab our luggage, Bliss said, “In what world is this casual?”
My world, unfortunately. Or my old one anyway.
I took her bag for her, and said, “We’re upstairs. I’m right behind you.”
I didn’t have to tell her twice. At the speed she went, I’m sure she was tempted to take it two stairs at a time.
I directed her toward my old room. She breezed through the door, and didn’t stop until she had thrown herself facedown on the bed with a groan.
“I’m never going back out there. I’ll climb out the window.”
I parked our luggage just inside the room, and then shut the door behind me. I took a seat beside her and laid a hand on her back. “Look on the bright side, we’ve got some alone time after all.”
She rolled over, putting herself farther away from me.
“Sorry, but I’m not exactly in the mood anymore.”
I winced.
“Bliss, I—”
She pushed herself up and off the bed and began pacing. “Why couldn’t you just tell me that she was going to hate me? Why tell me again and again that I was worrying over nothing when I clearly wasn’t?”
“I didn’t want you to worry. I thought things would go smoother if you were calm.”
“Have you met me? Smooth is not an option I come with. If you’re looking for smooth, maybe you should look elsewhere.”
Mid-pace, I caught her by the elbows and made her face me.
“Don’t do that. Don’t push me away.”
She covered her hands with her hands and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I just . . . I didn’t expect it to be like this.”
“What does that mean?”
She shook her head, and dropped her hands to look up at the ceiling instead. “Nothing. It’s . . . nothing.”
She pulled away and went to her suitcase. She went to put it up on the bed, took a long look at the white bedding, and then laid it on the floor.
“Bliss, talk to me.”
“Do you think this is okay? It’s the best I have.” She stood, pulling a simple blue cotton dress from her bag.
“Bliss, you can wear whatever you want down there. I only said we were going to change to give us a break.”
“Right. Maybe I can find some decent jewelry. Just give me a couple minutes.” She took the dress and a few other items, and disappeared into the bathroom. The door closed behind her with a click, and it was my turn to throw myself back on my bed.
I stared up at the ceiling and cursed under my breath.
Maybe my fears were warranted after all.
6
Bliss
THIS WAS A joke. A massively unfunny joke.
I’d fixed my hair, retouched my makeup, donned my best outfit, thrown on my best jewelry, and I was fairly certain that their toilet bowl scrubber still cost more than my entire outfit.
Why hadn’t he told me?
I got that he didn’t talk about his family much. They clearly weren’t close. God knows I didn’t talk about mine much, either, except to complain. But you’d think he could have just taken half a second to drop a quick “By the way, my family is loaded” into conversation.
If I was worried that Mrs. Taylor might think I wasn’t good enough for her son before, it was pretty much a solidified fact now.
I didn’t fit here. At all. Not even almost. One of these things is really not like the others.
And to make matters worse, Garrick looked perfect when I exited the bathroom. He’d donned a button-up shirt and tie to go with his khaki pants, and he looked effortless. Unlike me, he fit.
And a small, niggling voice in my mind asked how it was possible then that we fitted together? I shook my head to clear my thoughts, and Garrick crossed the room to place a kiss on my forehead.
“You look lovely.”
I smiled, but I didn’t feel it. “Thanks. So do you.”
“Everything is going to be fine.”
He’d said that so many times that it didn’t mean anything anymore. Like when you say a word too much and it stops sounding like itself and feels alien and foreign in your head.
“Let’s go then,” I said.
His hands cupped my jaw, and he leaned in for a kiss. I tilted my head back away from him.
“You’ll get lipstick on you.”
“I don’t care, love. The only thing I care about right now in this entire house is you.”
My resolve melted, and he brushed a feather-light kiss across my lips, somehow coming out lipstick-free. He laced our fingers together and planted another kiss on the back of my hand.
I wanted the gesture to be comforting, but it only made me more unsettled. It only made me wonder more what he could possibly see in me.
Together, we descended the stairs back into the jungle of champagne flutes and designer handbags and outfits that put mine to shame. It was a forest of self-esteem issues waiting to happen, and I was smack-dab in the middle of it.
We’d barely made it two feet past the base of the stairs before we were intercepted by a group of people.
“Garrick! So good to see you!”
He let go of my hand to greet a guy about Garrick’s age. He had dark hair, combed perfectly, and wore a suit. Again, I say, in what world is a suit casual?
“John, it’s good to see you, too. This is my fiancée, Bliss.”
John turned to the side and a woman stepped up beside him. She, too, had dark hair, fixed into a perfect bun at the nape of her neck. I concentrated on not touching my out-of-control curls in response.
>
“Lovely to meet you, Bliss. This is my wife, Amy.”
I smiled. “It’s nice to meet you.”
God, this was repetitive.
She laughed. “Oh no, the pleasure is all mine.”
I was probably supposed to say something more, but all that came to mind was insisting that the pleasure was actually mine, like a freaking tug of war. But that would have been a lie anyway, so I just stayed silent.
After a few painful seconds, Garrick added, “John and I went to school together.”
John nodded, his smile plastic. “I loved your father’s reminder that you were first in our class. Still can’t get away from coming in second even all these years later.”
Garrick laughed, and I could tell he was uncomfortable by the stiffness of his hand when he laced our fingers together again. But you would never know it from his face.
Maybe that’s what I needed to do to get through this. I needed to act. I needed to turn off Bliss and become someone else, someone who fit in this place and knew what to say and what not to say. If I became that someone else, I could separate my thoughts from my own worries and maybe get through this night intact. The stage was the only place I ever really felt confident, and I could use a bit of confidence at the moment. So that’s what I did. I played a part.
“So John,” I asked. “What have you been doing since the last time you and Garrick saw each other? Catch us up.”
“Well”—he kissed the back of Amy’s hand—“I got married. Beat you on that front, at least.” God, this guy was a prick. No wonder Garrick was so stiff. “I’m now working as a software designer.”
“A software designer? That’s interesting. I bet that’s challenging.”
“Oh, not really. It’s a bit boring really. Though I’m sure in comparison to what Taylor over here is doing these days, it probably looks like brain surgery.”
I laughed, thinking with each little chuckle how satisfying it would be to punch him in the face.
“Well, some of us are blessed to have careers that we love and are simple because we love them. Others get jobs that are, what did you say? Boring? But maybe someday you’ll grow to love it.”
Garrick lowered his head and gave a cough that was suspiciously laugh-like and said, “It’s was nice chatting with you John, Amy. But we should probably make the rounds. Lots of people to see.”
Once he’d led me a few feet away, his shoulders began to bounce in laughter.
He said, “I realize I’m being redundant now, but I just can’t help it. Marry me?”
“You’re going to make me wear out the word yes.”
“Nah. I’m saving that goal for our wedding night.”
Miraculously, I managed to keep my blush to a minimum. I had a pretty tight rein on my reactions at the moment.
He walked me through the rest of the room talking to more old classmates, friends of the family, and neighbors. They were old, young, male, female, and I held my own. I wasn’t quite as charming as Garrick. That wasn’t humanly possible for me. Or most people, really. But I did okay. I watched people’s expressions change as they talked to me. They went from wary or amused (probably due to my entrance) to smiling and accepting.
I took a deep breath, and felt proud.
Garrick brushed a kiss against my cheek, and said, “You’re doing wonderfully. See? Nothing to worry about.”
I smiled, but there was a sour taste on my tongue. It was a good thing . . . that I could force myself to fit here in his life. I just wished I hadn’t had to be someone else to do it.
Almost as if she could sense my vulnerability, his mother made her reappearance then. She kissed Garrick’s cheek, and surveyed his outfit. “Better. Much better.”
She glanced briefly at my dress, but didn’t say anything.
“Everything going okay? I saw you talking to Mrs. Everheart. Is she well?”
“When is she not well?” Garrick asked. “How old is she now, a century?”
Ah. I nodded, remembering who they were talking about now.
His mom shrugged. “Who knows? I wouldn’t be surprised if she outlasted me just to spite all those grabby children of hers, dying for her inheritance.”
I took a deep breath, and tried not to let it show how disgusting I found this whole thing. That old woman, Margaret was her name, had been so sweet. She reminded me of Cade’s grandma, and the time he’d introduced us during college. She was kind, but you could definitely tell she was a firecracker underneath. That her own children would just see her as dollar signs was terrible. And that Garrick’s mum and even Garrick didn’t seem appalled by it . . . that was even worse.
Mrs. Taylor turned her eyes on me then, and said coolly, “So, Bliss, tell me about yourself?”
Not such a difficult question. But did I answer genuinely? Or did I tell her what she wanted to hear?
7
Garrick
BLISS HESITATED, THEN opened her mouth to speak. But she was interrupted by a bellowing voice calling my name.
“Garrick! Son!”
We both turned to look. My father called my name a second time. He waved me over and said, “Come here for a second.”
I sighed.
“Just go,” Mum said. “You know he won’t let it go until you do.”
“He’s just going to drag me into some conversation about business. I don’t want to subject myself to that, and I certainly don’t want to subject Bliss to that.”
“So leave her with me.”
I tried not to look too alarmed by that. “Oh no, Mum. That’s okay. Bliss and I would rather stay together, since it is our engagement party.”
“Nonsense. I’m sure Bliss could use a break from you anyway. If you’re anything like your father, you’re nauseatingly cheerful.” That might be one of the nicer things I’d ever heard her say about him. “Besides, if you’re only giving me a week with my future daughter-in-law, I’m going to need all the time I can get with her.”
She spoke like a trainer trying to break in a horse, or an interrogator trying to break a witness. And from the look on Bliss’s face, you’d think she was going to be waterboarded instead of subjected to conversation with my mother.
I stared into Bliss’s wide eyes. I didn’t want to leave her alone with my mother, but she had been holding her own since we came downstairs. And Mum had on her business smile, and I knew I wasn’t going to win this one. Truthfully, there was no arguing with either of my parents. If my dad wanted me to go talk to him, I would have to. And if Mum wanted Bliss to stay with her, she’d get her way. That’s why I hadn’t bothered with telling them when I decided to leave London. God knows we’d spent enough time arguing about a thousand other things. Like a pendulum swing, the more I grew up, the farther I swung from my parents’ beliefs and habits in every respect. So I’d waited to tell them I was leaving until I was already in the States and called from a pay phone.
My last year before uni, life just started moving so fast. Things were unraveling quicker than I could take hold of them, and it felt like trying to stop a boulder from rolling down a hill. My life was falling into these predetermined paths, and it didn’t even really feel like I was living as much as reacting. I hated it, but I didn’t know how to stop it, other than to leave. Clean slate.
My father called my name again, and I sighed. “Fine. But I’m not spending all night talking to clients or business prospects or whoever he’s playing tonight.
“I’ll be quick,” I promised Bliss. Her expression was blank, and I couldn’t tell now how she was feeling, but her frequently flushed skin looked a wee bit pale. I kissed her forehead, and then did the same to my mother.
“Be nice,” I murmured.
Mum gave a single, solitary chuckle. That was either a very good or a very bad sign.
Two minutes. I’ll be back in two minutes.
I gave Bliss one more parting kiss, and then feeling like the worst fiancé ever, I left her to fend off her shark while I faced mine.
Alr
eady eager for the conversation to be over, I stepped up to my father’s group and said, “Yes, Dad?”
“Oh, good. Garrick, you remember Mr. Woods. You did that summer internship at his firm.”
Advertising, I think? Honestly, I couldn’t remember. Dad pushed me into so many internships, they all ran together.
“Of course, Mr. Woods. It’s nice to see you again.”
Mr. Woods was old, in his sixties or seventies maybe. He wore large glasses and his hair was a pale white. His smile made all the wrinkles around his mouth more pronounced, and his skin was worn and wrinkled like old leather as I shook his hand.
“And you as well. That’s a lovely fiancée you have there.”
I smiled. “Thank you. I love her very much, and she keeps my life interesting.”
He barked a laugh, his wrinkles almost disappearing for a second as he did.
“You’re just as spirited as I remember you. Your father has been filling me in on your life in the States. Quite impressive.”
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. My father had no doubt embellished to the point that I’d probably become the youngest tenured professor at Harvard or some other nonsense.
I shrugged. “I wouldn’t say it was all that impressive.”
“Not easily satisfied. I like that. You’ll be outdoing your father in no time, I’m sure.”
Dad laughed and hooked an arm around my neck like we were wrestling, “Not without a fight he won’t.”
It was all so staged, so forced. And I couldn’t tell if everyone else felt it, or if they were so accustomed to it that they didn’t even notice it anymore.
The men and women gathered around us laughed, and I followed out of habit.
Eight years.
It had been over eight years since I’d moved away, and in less than an hour, I was already getting pulled back into the lifestyle I hated. Fancy parties, nice things, expensive clothes, all covered by a layer of fake so thick that it choked out every real emotion.
It had to have been two minutes by now. And even that felt like two minutes too many.
“It was so nice seeing you again, Mr. Woods, but I should get back to my fiancée.” I nodded at the rest of the people in the group and said, “Ladies. Gentlemen.”
