by Clare Kauter
“But if they have a connection at the school, that’s not going to be your main dealer, right?”
“Right. But they’ll be able to lead us to the main guy.”
I nodded. “OK. So what do you need me to do while I’m there?”
“Befriend the new head cheerleader.”
“Why her specifically?”
“Because she was Gabby’s closest friend,” he explained. “She’s the most likely to know who provided Gabby with the drugs.”
“Right,” I said. “You know, I could probably befriend her without joining the cheer squad. Maybe if I –”
Adam saw through my ploy immediately. He shook his head at me. “I’m afraid you’re going to have to break out the pom-poms.”
“Why?” I demanded. “For your amusement?”
“No,” he replied. “Because it’s going to give you the best access to Chelsea and it makes the most sense for the case.” He paused. “The fact that it’s hilarious is just a bonus.”
Unbelievable.
“So the kid who overdosed was the cheer captain before Crazy Chelsea,” I said, shoving a stapler in my handbag. “Maybe Chelsea made her overdose so she could usurp the throne.”
“I’m pretty sure that stapler belongs to the company,” Adam said.
“I’ll bring it back,” I said. “I just don’t want to share it with the replacement receptionist. This is an amazing stapler. It’s not the kind of tool that should be entrusted to a casual admin assistant.”
“You’re insane,” said Adam. “You and Chelsea should get along fine.”
“As long as she shares her drugs with me.”
Adam ignored me, choosing instead to study a sheet of paper in the folder he was holding. “Alright. I don’t think you need more background on the dead kid. None of that’s really relevant. We just want the dealer. You already know all about the school... I guess now we should talk about your backstory.”
I grinned. “Backstory? This is all so official. How about this: my name is Darlene Dangers and I grew up in North Queensland, wrestling salt-water crocodiles daily. I used to have a pet python, but I woke up one night and he was trying to eat me, so –”
“Your name is Charlotte Daniels,” Adam said, cutting me off. “You’re from Sydney, but you just moved here to live with your aunt because your parents are traveling with a symphony orchestra.”
I frowned. “OK, but can I still be called Darlene?”
“No,” said Adam. “We’ve got a Facebook account and a Snapchat set up for you on this phone.” He took a mobile out of his pocket and sat it on the desk. “I’ve put some of your pictures on it already, but you’re going to need to spend the rest of today and tonight taking selfies to make it look more authentic.”
“Where did you get pictures of me?”
Adam raised his eyebrows. “From the five billion snaps you send me every time you get bored at work or when you’re hanging out with your friends.”
“I didn’t think you ever checked them. You never respond.”
“That’s because I’m not a teenage girl. You, however, are, which makes you perfect for this assignment. You’re going to fit in so well.”
“Not for much longer,” I said. “I hope you’ve got me a cool birthday present.”
“Of course. I got you the Star Wars bluray box set.”
I rolled my eyes. Adam picked up the phone and opened the Facebook app to show me. “The IT guys have been working on this for the last week.”
I took the phone from him, my mouth hanging open. They’d photoshopped years’ worth of pictures of me from adolescence to my current supposed age, which judging by my date of birth was sixteen. They had photos of me at my last school in my cheerleading squad, volunteering at a bake sale and even posing for a photo with – wait, was that...
“Pauline Hanson?” I said in disgust. “You had them photoshop a picture of me with Pauline Hanson?”
Adam smirked. “I thought you’d like that one.”
“It wasn’t bad enough that you decided to send me undercover at a high school as a wannabe cheerleader, so you decided to add Pauline Hanson to the mix?”
He smiled. “Yep. And if you mess up this case, I’m going to release this picture out into the world.”
My jaw fell open. “You wouldn’t.”
“You are not to let anything interfere with your job. You’re going to befriend those girls no matter how much you hate them, you’re going to cheer like you were born to do it, and you’re not going to let whatever weird thing is happening between you and McKenzie impact this case in any way. Otherwise... everyone will know about your secret political views.”
“But – but I hate her so much. You wouldn’t. That would destroy me.”
He leaned forward and said very quietly, “Oh, but I would.”
“Why are you doing this?”
“Because this case is the most important case on our books at the moment and I don’t want you to fuck it up with your trademark immaturity.”
I rolled my eyes like the mature adult I was, but Adam was back to scanning his folder and didn’t see me. “Oh,” he said. “You’ll have to wear contacts as well.”
I nodded. That seemed like a good idea. I very rarely went without glasses, so contacts would add another layer to my disguise. “You’re right. Darlene wouldn’t wear glasses.”
“You’re not Darlene,” said Adam. “Unless Darlene’s a really big fan of Pauline.”
I shuddered. “OK, OK. I can’t believe you’re doing this to me.”
Adam checked his phone. “We should go and buy you some school supplies,” he said. “Make sure you’re ready for your big day tomorrow.”
Great. My second first day of high school.
CHAPTER FOUR
Adam helped me carry my stuff to his car (including the stapler than he insisted I return as soon as I was back to my desk job) and we dropped it off at my house before heading down town to do some shopping. It had been a long time since I’d been at school, although somehow not long enough, and I wasn’t really sure what I’d need.
“I assume you’re paying?” I said.
Adam nodded. “Company expenses.”
“In that case, I’ll need a new computer. One of the gold Macs.”
“If you’re going to ask me to buy a Mac, at least ask for the newest one,” he said.
“But is the newest one gold?” I said. “Darlene likes gold.”
“Darlene doesn’t exist, and I’m pretty sure that it’s Charlie who likes gold. Charlie, however, doesn’t need a Mac. Charlie needs a crappy HP as well as pens and notebooks, because Charlie’s going to a public school in a poor area and having a fancy computer is asking to get robbed.”
I rolled my eyes. “Fine.”
We went to a newsagency and bought the necessary pens and notebooks, then visited a clothes shop that stocked Gerongate High uniforms before continuing on to an electronics store for the computer.
“I need the worst laptop you have,” Adam said to the salesman.
“Uh...”
After that we went to Target to get a pencil case and a backpack. Nothing really jumped out as very cool or cheerleader-y to me. I heard Adam gasp and turned to see him holding up a BB-8 backpack.
“It’s beautiful,” he said. “You need to get this.”
“At Gerongate High? Are you serious? I’d be eaten alive.”
“But you’d look cool as it happened and that’s all that matters.”
“I think you and I have a different idea of what constitutes ‘cool’.”
“Clearly,” he said looking deeply disappointed with me.
I decided to send my friends a message asking what kind of stuff you need at school since I’d forgotten. Jo worked a couple of days a week in the office of a different local school and the others had been pretty successful students so I figured they might know. Unfortunately, the replies they sent me were not particularly useful.
What would I need if I was
going back to high school tomorrow?
Jo: A manicure.
Stacey: Better taste in men. (Rich coming from someone whose last boyfriend was a Russian gangster, but I decided not to point that out.)
Celia: Hand-eye coordination.
Lea: Condoms.
“OK, my friends weren’t particularly useful,” I said. “I guess we’ll just have to just look around and see.” We passed a lingerie shop, and I jokingly pointed at the sign. “Shall we?”
“You’re trying to tell me you need new underwear for school? I think you might have misunderstood the assignment.” He paused. “Or you’ve just remembered James is undercover as well.”
“I was joking.”
“Sure you were,” he said. “Just don’t do anything to jeopardise the investigation. Harry’s not going to save you from being fired twice.”
I shrugged. “You say that, but I don’t think it’s true.”
“He may find you amusing, but if you screw this case up he’ll fire you himself.”
Something in Adam’s tone caught my interest.
“Is there something special about this case?”
“It involves a school kid. Anything where kids are involved he tends to take pretty seriously.”
I nodded. Somehow I thought Adam wasn’t telling me the whole story, but if I knew anything about Adam it was that pressing him for details wasn’t going to get me anywhere. The conversation was over when he decided it was, and that time had passed.
A display in a shop window caught my attention.
“I definitely need a phone case,” I said. “This My Little Pony one is perfect.”
“What, Star Wars is uncool but you think Brony chic is OK?”
“I can’t be a Brony. I’m a girl.”
“You can be anything you set your mind to.”
“Thank you for that fake compliment, Adam, but I draw the line at becoming a middle-aged neckbeard who jerks off to a kids’ cartoon.”
He smiled. “Spent a lot of time with Bronies over the years?”
“More than I care to admit.”
“And yet you’d never watched Star Wars until last month? You’re an enigma, Charmander.”
I shrugged. “I’ve had a lot of nerdy boyfriends, but apparently not your particular brand of nerdy.”
“Star Wars and Marvel films don’t count as nerdy. How many times do we have to have this discussion?”
Adam and I left the shopping centre and walked out onto the street. I folded my arms against the cold as an icy breeze hit us. The car was parked about a block away so we set off in its direction, walking quickly to get out of the weather. We rounded a corner and found a group of guys from Baxter & Co. sitting out the front of a café, under an outdoor heater. The smile immediately fell off Adam’s face. We couldn’t even back away because they’d already seen us.
It wasn’t like we were doing anything wrong, exactly, but Adam didn’t make a habit of befriending employees. Other than Tim and his father, Adam didn’t really spend time with any of his colleagues outside work. Except me. Our friendship wasn’t common knowledge, and the sight of us walking down the street, laughing together while Adam carried my shopping bags probably looked a bit sus to these guys. I didn’t really want to become known as someone who was friends with the boss.
I knew two of the guys at the table by name, and the other one I smiled and said hello to in the corridor, but I had forgotten his name when we were first introduced so now I was destined to forever call him ‘champ’ or ‘mate’ in conversation. If it went on much longer I was going to have to come up with more creative names. Maybe ‘old sport’, like Gatsby would say.
Adam sighed next to me. He wasn’t the most sociable guy, as you might have gathered. I wasn’t the most sociable gal, either, but I could put on a good show. Adam didn’t generally bother making conversation unless it was necessary, but even he couldn’t just walk away without saying hello now.
“Hey guys!” I said, approaching the table, partly to be polite and partly to warm up under their heater. Adam walked alongside me and I saw him nod in greeting. “How are you?”
“Hey Charlie, Spider,” said Hugh, Panther and Old Sport. “How are you?”
“Good!” I said. “We’ve just been shopping for supplies for my first proper case.” I pulled a face while Adam wasn’t looking and they all gave me looks of sympathy. Shopping with Adam probably wasn’t their idea of a good time.
“We’re all done now, though, right?” said Adam.
I nodded. “Yeah, I think I got everything.”
He handed me my bags. “Then I’ll leave you to it. Bye.” And just like that, he strode across the road and headed back towards his car.
“God,” I said, pulling up a chair. “That was a fun afternoon.” I figured I’d better say something to help uphold Adam’s reputation. I knew he’d lie and tell everyone he found me unbearable if our situations were reversed.
They laughed. “I can imagine,” said Hugh.
I shook my head. “No, you can’t.”
He grinned. “I’m glad I didn’t have to endure that, that’s all I can say.”
“It was OK. I made him laugh, so...”
“You made him laugh?” Old Sport said. “How?”
“I tripped. Nearly fell flat on my face.”
Hugh laughed. “Having witnessed you falling over once or twice myself, I can confidently say that it’s sight that would melt even the coldest heart.”
“Oh, there is no heart-melting going on there,” I said. “He’d need to have a heart in the first place.”
My phone began to buzz in my pocket. I checked the readout. Stacey. I suppressed a grimace and excused myself from the group.
“Hey, what’s up?” I said. But I already knew.
“Are you still on for tonight?” she asked.
“Sure,” I said. “What’s tonight again?”
Ever since Stacey had moved in with me and Lea she had been dragging us (and any other friends she could guilt into it) along to ‘girly nights out’. She claimed that they were so we could bond as women, but I was 90% certain they were just because she was bored and couldn’t find anyone she liked on Tinder. (I’d met a couple of her Tinder dates and honestly I didn’t blame her for turning them down. Her last one had turned out to be a clown, but not even a fun clown – one of those miserable ones who cries all the time. Except it hadn’t been an act. He was just like that permanently.) So at least once a week (and usually more), Stace dragged us along to her ridiculous night classes. Last time was bread-making which for me mostly consisted of paying the entry fee just to watch other people bake in case I burned down the kitchen – although I did get to eat half of C’s bread at the end of the night, so it worked out OK. She makes a lovely olive loaf. Another time we’d learned to trim plants into bonsai trees. There was even one awful poetry class.
I shuddered at the thought that tomorrow I was probably going to have to study poetry back at my old high school. At least I would get paid for it, I guess. Although not enough. There wasn’t enough money in the world for going back to school to be worth it. Still, going undercover was kind of cool, even if the situation was crappy. At least I wasn’t paying for the privilege of attending school, unlike with Stacey’s classes.
“Pottery,” said Stacey. “Tonight is pottery. I’m so excited! Aren’t you excited? We’re gaining so many new skills!”
“Yes, the essential life skill of making our own things out of mud,” I replied.
“Exactly!” she answered. “It’s on in two hours. You better get home so I can make sure you look respectable before we head out.”
Other people might have been offended by this, but when you have friends like mine you just kind of roll with it.
“OK, Stace. I’ll be right there.”
CHAPTER FIVE
Thanks to Adam ditching me in the middle of town with all my bags of shopping, I had to call Celia to pick me up. She pulled up beside me in her red Honda Jazz an
d I threw my bags onto the back seat before climbing in the passenger’s side.
“Hello,” she said. “Someone’s been shopping.”
“Someone has.”
“How have you had time?” she asked. “It’s only five-thirty. Did you finish early?”
I shook my head. “It’s work shopping.”
She nodded. “Right. Sometimes when we have photo shoots I do ‘work shopping’ too.”
I smiled. Celia had recently gotten a job at a fashion blog and often bought clothes for company photo shoots which she later got to take home. “I’m afraid mine is less interesting than yours. It’s school supplies.”
“School supplies?” she said. “What for? The boss’s kid or something?”
“The boss’s kid is my boss too,” I said. “Unfortunately the school supplies are for me.”
“What do you mean?”
I knew I shouldn’t tell her, but I could trust C to keep my secret. “OK, don’t tell anyone,” I said, “but you know how I got my PI licence?”
She nodded eagerly, glancing at me excitedly before turning her eyes back to the road.
“Well, I’m going undercover at Gerongate High to figure out who’s dealing meth to the school kids,” I said.
“Wow,” she replied. “That’s equal parts awesome and awful.”
That about summed it up.
“I know. But it’s not like I have to do well or do my assignments properly or anything, so it shouldn’t be too hard.”
“So it’ll be just like the last time you were at school.”
I thought for a moment before nodding. That was pretty accurate. I had been on the lower side of average in all my classes, pretty much resigning myself at an early age to the fact that I’d spend my entire life working in retail. As it turned out, I hadn’t, and things were sort of looking up now on the career front. Except for the high-school thing.
Celia and I chatted about high school some more before she pulled into the driveway at my house. Thanks to a bet I’d won with James McKenzie, who was not only a cop but also a rich-kid who’d inherited a rather large estate, I now lived in a house on Madison Hill (snob central of Gerongate) with greatly reduced rent. It was two storeys with the top floor balcony looking down into the lounge/dining/kitchen area. There was a huge pool out the back along with massive yard. It was beautiful and massive and way nicer than a person my age should have been able to afford. But hey, I wasn’t complaining.
