Dignity.
This kind of thing ought to have been done in silent darkness and left that way. The lively music and bright lights made the scene more pathetic than horrific.
On a whim, Cole checked under the sink. The toolbox was still there? Excited energy zapped him. He needed to get out before anyone saw that he had it. While it could be empty, if it wasn’t, it might be a tremendous help.
* * *
Nearly home, Cole’s communicator buzzed. No good. He answered the call and picked up his pace.
Panting, Jesurun began speaking before Cole. "We’re running. Don’t go to the house.”
Cole glanced toward the house as he passed it in the alley. Nothing seemed amiss. "What’s going on?”
"That guy. Clapton? He showed up at the door with real deal Kyrios,” Jes gasped. "I mean, real deal. Chandler and, uh, Minh?”
"That’s . . . that’s my brother. Why?”
"Your lady opened the door ‘cause she recognized your brother and figured it would be weird if she didn’t answer. I hid quick, but Clapton and Minh charged around lookin’ for me. I knocked Minh out when she found me, so me and Hesper ran out the door before the other two caught what happened.”
If Jes struck a Reverenced One, he was dead. Looking back, Cole caught a glimpse of several unfamiliar cars parked in front of the house.
"We’re heading for the market,” Jes said. "Should we stop and wait for you?”
"Do you think it’s safe?”
"Nope. We’ll wait as long as we can.”
* * *
Providence favored them. The three met in the closed market and slipped into an empty bare wood booth where cinnamon and cardamom filled the air. It would be a couple of hours before the business owner would arrive.
Cole gave Hesper a quick smile as he crouched beside them, then addressed Jes. "My brother is a good guy. I don’t think—”
"Good guy or not, he’s Kyrios, and they do what the Glorious Ones tell them. Maybe it’s easier to see that stuff on my end of things than yours, cause nothin’ can convince me I’m wrong.”
"Now that we have run, how much trouble are we in?” Hesper asked.
"Heaps. They’ll probably call me soon.”
She thrust out her hand. "Cole!”
"Your chip,” he breathed.
She stared at her hand. "What can we do?”
"Nothing I want to do. I’ve heard of them being removed only once. Someone had a severe allergic reaction to the material. But they’ll have to dig out the tracking system and turn it on. It’s a process that takes at least ten minutes. We’ve got time.”
"You are irrational today, Cole!” Hesper snapped. "You assume too much.”
"We will stagnate and die in indecision if we don’t make a few assumptions. We don’t have a choice.”
"We may not have a choice, but I have a knife,” Jes offered. He pulled it from its sheath.
"No,” Cole said. "Infection. We have nothing to sanitize with or to cover the wound. Out of the question.”
"Cole, they will find us!” Hesper hissed.
"We have to go back sometime! The hope for a plan is the only reason to prolong this. Let’s get a good head start before the sun rises.”
Hesper’s chip meant either perpetual motion or surrender. Near the edge of Pomo Gate, they traveled north, down a road to a factory with hundreds of tiny fish scale steel-framed windows of various colors. They ran the perimeter of the building, yanking at every door. Locked. The steel frames made it impossible to fit through a broken window. Jesurun grabbed a rock and bashed the glass until his arm blazed red.
"YES!”
Pressing his hand to the metal bars for several minutes, the steel melted and shriveled away as the panes fell and shattered on the ground. He shook the liquid steel from his hands.
Cole shot a look at Hesper. What would an atheist make of such a thing? Heck, what do I make of it? Fixated on the sight, Hesper didn’t notice his look.
Jes shrugged and picked a piece of cooled steel from between his fingers. "Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn’t. I did it in jail once, but another time, it didn’t work. I dunno why. Don’t bank on it very often.”
The three crawled through the opening and entered a cold cement world of dust, cobwebs, boxes, and broken machinery. Above them, metal beams crisscrossed the expanse of the ceiling, and enormous lights, long burnt-out, hung from the rafters.
Cole crouched and opened the toolbox. Empty. Officer Clapton must have taken everything. "Well, that’s that. I guess we have to plan according to what we do know.”
"I hate to tell you this, but we’ve been found.” Jes pointed toward the silhouettes of unwanted visitors passing by a cluster of cloudy windows ahead of them.
Cole grabbed Hesper’s hand and ran, followed by Jes. Voices echoed through the cavernous structure a moment before they burst out of the gloom and into the fresh morning air. The sun peeked over the treetops, stirring the world to life.
Rather than take the main road, the trio followed a country path toward the gate’s borders and crossed a field of wildflowers, aiming for the stream that drew up the border of the gate. Across the stream, they passed into the area between Pomo and Canvas Gate and continued running until they disappeared into sparsely wooded terrain and planted themselves beneath a low-hanging tree.
"Cut this thing out of me. Now!” Hesper demanded.
"We can’t do that, Hesper. We must—”
She pushed. "They will get us in our sleep. We cannot run forever. We have to get it out.”
"Blast it all! I know, Hesper! I know!”
"I will do it myself, then!” she roared.
Cole grabbed her wrist as she reached for Jes’ knife. She shrank away, eyeing him as if he hurt her feelings. "I will not die. Why are you not letting me do this?”
“Got an itch to be a martyr, man?” Jes asked.
Oh, he did not just say that . . . “Hesper, they’re going to get us no matter what we do. Jes and I will die, but you won’t. I’m not going to let some ridiculously filthy knife that’s been who-knows-where and done who-knows-what get into your bloodstream! While you’re breathing, there’s still a chance that you and the baby can survive. Somehow. Call me an idiot, but I’d rather sacrifice myself or keep running than take that risk.”
As soon as the words were out of his mouth, the stupidity of them struck him upside the head. Still, he would not back down. He wasn’t wrong, but . . . but what? She won’t call you an idiot, so you’d better do it yourself. Proud idiot.
“Cole, I am a woman, not a child. You do not own me. I am making this decision for myself because you clearly love me too much to think for the good of the group. Stress is clouding your judgment. May we have that knife, Jesurun?” Hesper extended her hand, and Jes passed the knife.
She was right. To survive, the Unified way was the only way.
Hesper from the woods mixes with Hesper who’s had enough Meros foolishness.
A smile sneaked onto and off his lips quickly as he snatched the knife from her hand and grunted with disapproval. Only a small incision into the barely scabbed-over wound and the tiny chip came out with a spurt of blood, like squeezing a seed from a grape. He held it between his fingers for a few moments.
Thinking more clearly now, a plan got through. Why should everyone surrender? Three of them might stand a chance if they approached this from the right angle.
"Jes,” he said. "Will you take Hesper? The two of you should run.”
Hesper glared at Cole. "Explain your meaning.”
"We can use this to save three out of four. You have a child, and he has a gift. I’m expendable.”
Hesper assumed her stubborn face. Anything he said from now on would fall on deaf ears.
"Hesper, look at me.” He took her face in his hands. “Don’t look at your thoughts or anything else. Look right at me! It’s your turn to think rationally and without sentiment. If I surrender, they will stop hunting while I prepare
and go to them. It will give you a chance to run.”
"I’ll do whatever,” Jes said. "I’m in this to take care of her.”
Hesper clapped her hands. "No, no! You crazy men! I refuse to leave you just because we face something frightening. It does not please me to do, and you cannot make me.” Tears trickled from her eyes. "My life may not be my own in your world, but unless you are willing to hit me hard enough, I am conscious, and you will not move me.” She cried, "You would not do it, either, Cole. If I am weaker and need your protection, do not give me the guilt that will come with this.” She held her face in her hands. "I would bear death better than guilt.”
Cole’s communicator buzzed. David’s name appeared on the small screen. Cole answered.
"Hey, Cole. What’s going on?”
Cole laughed, incredulous. "What do you mean ‘what’s going on,’ idiot? Why are you here?”
"Oh, so you’re with them, too?”
"What in blazes is going on?”
"Trinity died. I’ve been promoted. Yay, right? We’re assigned to clean up after Officer Clapton’s assignment, but Clapton here is suspicious. Thought you were harboring a criminal. Saw weird marks on your neck. We found the criminal in your house with Hesper. Are you aware of all of this?”
"You came across a guest visiting my home. That much is true.”
"Listen, I hate this as much as you do. Believe me. I can’t leave without you, though. You, apparently, have someone who is wanted by the Kyrios. Dead. He’s dangerous.”
"He’s only dangerous to the Kyrios!” Cole pointed an accusatory finger at the air.
"I was afraid you’d say something to that effect. If you’ve allied yourself with him, I can’t let you guys go.” David sighed, weary.
"Get us there alive.”
"Yeah. About that. I already have directions from Vince because he anticipated your efforts to make a deal. You guys come out, and you’ll all get a trial, rather than Immediate Justice. You and the man you have with you.”
Cole could barely talk through the thick anxiety in his throat. "We’re done for, aren’t we?”
"At this point, we should just throw our hands in the air and scream, ‘cause I think we’ve been set up and we’re on the way down.”
It wasn’t over until they killed him, or was it? Hesper couldn’t be allowed to hear what he had to say, so he crawled out from under the tree bough. A brisk walk would eat a bit of his frustration and get the chip to the stream.
"If I’m executed, take Hesper,” Cole whispered. "She’s to stay alive, no matter what.” His voice grew dangerous when he repeated, "No matter what.”
With a sudden, sloppy intake of air, David broke the news. "Vincent said he would take her.”
"No! Try to persuade Vince to let you have her.” He paused and rubbed the back of his neck with his sweaty palms. "She’s pregnant, David. If you can get her, you need to let her have the baby. You’ve made it happen before—once. Make it happen again. Without so many witnesses in your house, you should be able to get her out somehow.”
Cole dashed to the stream and tossed the chip into the water to be carried away.
A long pause.
"I’ll do what I can, Cole.”
"If I die, and you don’t make a way for her, I swear I will come back from the grave and haunt your sorry hide until you kill yourself. When you get to the afterlife, I’ll dog your soul ‘til you beg the spiritual powers to end your existence.”
Another long pause.
"That’s a lot.”
"Promise,” Cole said.
"I promise to do whatever I can.”
What more could he expect?
Quietly, David said, "I can give you a head start, but we’ve got a lot of people here, and we’re pretty sure we have your patch of trees mostly surrounded. I highly doubt you’re running on the river at seven miles per hour. I even hit the tracker a few times to see if that fixed the reading, but . . .”
"Running isn’t the best choice. Vincent keeps his word.”
"Knock it off, Cole,” David spat. "You sound like me. I hate it. Now I understand why I annoy you so much.”
Cole smiled. "It’d feel good to run, but it would be the death of Hesper. You wouldn’t let them rape her, but . . .”
"You don’t have to explain,” David said. "I understand.”
Cole hunched his shoulders. "We’ll meet you at the gate’s western border.” He ended the call and kicked at a patch of ferns. He’d punched a tree a few years ago and regretted it for months. His hand still stiffened up in cold weather sometimes. A few kicks at the ferns would have to suffice.
The supposed Book of Light needed to get where it belonged.
Let's see if we’ve got it right, shall we?
Back at the tree, he crawled under the bough to join Hesper and Jesurun. Hesper lifted her hand, which showed no evidence of a cut. No blood. Nothing. The two looked at him, half-guilty, half-out-of-their-minds-excited.
"What did I miss?”
"Jes touched it. When he took his hand off . . .”
Cole gave his attention to Jes. "That’s new?”
Jes rolled up his sleeve. "When I saw what happened, I tried it on me.” His stitched wound was gone.
"Maybe you had to stop being angry for a bit, Jes.”
* * *
David’s black eye and limping gait shocked Cole. A gash on his forehead stuck out like a flash of red lightning. The doctor didn’t take care of it properly. Forcing him to travel to the other side of the country at this time had to be Vincent’s idea of a joke. Flanked by Reverenced One Minh and Officer Clapton, David’s hands filled his pockets, his face grim. Several local law enforcement wardens waited in parked cars, engines running.
* * *
A thousand words hid behind David’s face as he watched them surrender. Had his eyes ever been so expressive and his composure so disoriented? To see him in between grief and responsibility made Hesper hurt—wanting to apologize, but unable to, wanting to save them, but powerless. The weight pushing on his chest pressed on hers, and the pressure in his mind squeezed tears from her. David glanced at Jesurun once or twice but zeroed in on Hesper alone.
David had Tom, Lorelei, Anise, and Dulce to stay alive for. They would suffer if they lost him, and it would be selfish for him to abandon them.
Before Hesper got into the car, she reached up and touched David’s hand where it rested on the door. "I love you, David,” she said. "You will find nepenthe?”
He stared at her, lips parted, more uncomfortable than she meant for him to be.
"I intended to give you comfort.” She frowned.
His weak smile and dip of the chin said he was not comforted. He whispered, "You know, Kali, the blue lady in my parlor?”
"Yes.”
"She’s a goddess of destruction, right?” His eyes went in many directions, but somehow his mind and focus were all hers.
"Many believe she brings enlightenment by destroying the evil and negative aspects of a person. In that way, she is compassionate. Sometimes compassion hurts. It provokes a change of heart.” He inclined his head to Hesper. "I don’t deserve comfort, but I need a change of heart. So, don’t feel bad. You’re just being like Kali—as I knew you were—a compassionate destroyer of evil. You don’t even know you’re doing it. I hope, someday, you see it in yourself.”
Thirty-Seven | Post-Conquest: 232
Vincent permitted Cole to stay home, rather than jail him. A benevolent act, at a glance, but little more than a psychological tactic to break him through time with his loved ones. Vincent’s method of torture allowed the traitor to think about the cost of his behavior for himself and for Hesper.
If Vincent wanted to kill him, he wouldn’t make the effort to break his resolve, would he? Maybe he had a deal. If he stopped being a pain in the rear, Vincent would show mercy. No. This was all a part of Vincent’s game, but Cole couldn’t keep the thoughts out.
Alone in their room, he took in the familiar s
ight of his beloved library and breathed in the smell of it. He hung up his coat and set his bag on the floor by the bed and nearly sat in his favorite chair before realizing Hesper hadn’t walked more than a few feet into the room. So still, hands limp at her sides, dead inside. She’d never seemed quite right since leaving the woods.
He had hoped their marriage would help, and it did seem to, but this experience took her down. When she learned his identity, she admitted herself to be weak as she apologized to him. Ever since then, self-doubt plagued her more than anything. If he knew Hesper as well as he thought he did, her greatest comfort and confidence for this moment would come from being needed and helpful to him.
He reached for her. "I need comfort from strong, nurturing hands.”
Capable arms enfolded and held him like an orphaned fawn.
"I hope to God we’re not going to be martyrs, Hesper.” He squeezed her and kissed the top of her head.
"Where has your courage gone?” She pulled away to look up at him. "Your god may come through tomorrow. God may do something wonderful. Who can say?”
"Listen to you, my precious atheist.”
"I am ashamed that Jesurun is in jail while we are comfortable in our home with each other.”
Only Hesper could find a way to consider herself privileged on the night before her husband’s execution.
"He’s fine. They won’t hurt him. I want to close everyone else out and be an encouragement.” He placed a tiny, promising kiss on her lips. "May I indulge you?”
Chin raised, she said, "I believe I am entitled to it.”
They kissed each other with all the sunlit water they had. No benediction had ever blessed Cole so much. Drawing back to look her over, the emotion on her face thrilled him with its conflicted discontent, warmed by the afterglow of shared sweetness—the loveliest expression known to man.
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