by Marika Ray
“Sounds great!” I pasted on a sunny smile as he rushed out of the room, already planning to bring my vibrator into the shower with me. I couldn’t go through the motions as his girlfriend today without taking the edge off. Jesus. That thing needed a concealed carry permit. A choking warning, maybe. Perhaps a few ground crew members to guide that behemoth with their flashing batons.
Who would have guessed I picked the short straw—literally—when it came to the O’Donnell brothers? Ahem, half-brothers.
By the time I came out of the bathroom, showered, fully dressed, and hair and makeup on point, Rhett was sitting down eating breakfast at the table.
“Yours is in the microwave. I didn’t want it getting cold,” he said around a mouthful of food.
I’d scratched the itch so to speak, so I felt more in control. My cheeks had even returned to their normal color, though I’d never forget the sight of perfection just inches from my face. I’d consider that a win. The plate of scrambled eggs and toast looked fabulous. Anything looked fabulous when I didn’t have to make it myself. I sat down at the table across from him and dug in.
“I wanted to say I’m sorry again. I honestly was asleep or I never would have been lying on you like that.” Rhett’s voice floated across the table, the worry and regret obvious in his tone. Which was odd. I’d never heard him speak without at least a bit of a smile in his voice. Given that I’d enjoyed it a teensy bit—okay, a lot—he shouldn’t feel bad about it.
After giving my cheeks a stern talking to, I looked up. “Seriously, don’t worry about it. It’s bound to happen with us living this lie. We just have to move on and put on a good show.”
He searched my eyes for a few seconds, and apparently seeing I was serious, the smile returned and we were back on familiar ground. “So, Gabriella Cole. What are your dreams and goals for your life?”
I nibbled on my toast. “Ah, easy breakfast conversation, I see.” When he chuckled like I hoped he would, I continued. “Honestly, my career is great. My finances are stable. I’m not a crazy huge spender. I just want to be a regular woman. Good friends, a husband, two point five kids, and the white picket fence.”
Rhett nodded, then leaned his forearms on the table. I went back to picking at my toast, desperately trying not to look at his muscles on full display. Bejesus, the guy must work out on the daily, which was fine by me. All the more to make Hew jealous when he saw Rhett as my boyfriend. Hew had given up the gym when the business he helped start took off, favoring the monetary rewards over the physical.
“Why do you always do that?”
“Do what?”
Rhett kept staring into my eyes, like he could see beyond the facades I’d built over the years. We all had them. They were the screens we put in place to keep people out, to let them see a version of ourselves we deemed appropriate. But a select few could always see through them, seeing the real person underneath in all our flawed reality.
“Downplay your wealth. Your finances aren’t just stable. You’re extremely wealthy with most of your money tied up in investments making you more money, right?”
I tipped my head back and forth, uncomfortable with where this was going. “Well, yeah. But I don’t necessarily identify as a wealthy person. That’s why I begged my dad to let me go to public school, which turned out to be the best decision ever because I met Lily-Marie. I just want to be normal, you know?”
Rhett sent me a big grin. “So be normal. And be wealthy. You can be both.”
I gave him my best oh-thank-you-for-the-genius-advice-I-never-thought-of-myself sarcastic look and tried to remember how thoughtful he was by making me breakfast. “Yeah, I hear you and yet it’s just not that simple. Everyone has expectations of me because of who my family is and how many zeros there are on my bank statement. I just want to be Jenny from the block, you know?”
Rhett smirked and it was lethal combined with the muscle thing he had going on. A horrifying thought occurred to me. He was younger. Maybe he didn’t even know who JLo was, for God’s sake. He probably had no idea what Jenny I was referring to.
“So you want to wear big hoop earrings and shake your gorgeous ass?”
At that nonsense, I had to roll my eyes. At least I wasn’t so much older that he didn’t get my pop culture reference. This fake relationship just might stand the test of time. “Since you’ve got it all figured out, why don’t you tell me what your hopes and dreams are, big guy?”
He leaned forward even more and I told myself I wouldn’t back up. “My dream is to become a world renowned board shaper. However, my goal is to become an entrepreneur who makes a shit ton of money so I can take care of my mom and shove my wealth in my half brother’s face.” He shrugs. “I’m stuck somewhere in between those two.”
“Why can’t you just be both?” I asked flippantly.
He gave me a look, like he wasn’t dumb enough to fall for his advice being thrown back in his face.
“No, no, I’m serious.” Now that I thought about it, I was kind of on a roll. “Why don’t you build up your board shaping business to the point it accomplishes your goal? You can have both!”
“Have you ever met a board shaper who was rolling in money? No, you haven’t. Because they’re all beach bums living out of the back of their van down by the coastline.”
I slapped a hand down on the table. “Wait. Hurley. That’s a surf brand, right? Somebody started that company in Orange County and made it into something huge. Why not you?”
Rhett sat back and folded his arms across his chest. “I could go over the statistics of small businesses failing, but I’ll leave out the boring stuff. How about this? Why don’t we both promise to work on being both things? On blending all of what we want into our actual reality? We’ll use this time on the show to support each other on our vision for ourselves. I’ll get my board shaping business up and running with the intent to make it huge. You’ll embrace your wealth and your plebeian nature fully. ”
I snort-laughed to cover the melting of the organ in my chest that didn’t realize all of this was fake. In three months, I’d never see Rhett again, so becoming friendly, or God forbid, falling for Rhett, was not in my best interest. “It’s not about being a bum. I just want to be normal and not get all caught up in the superficial things that don’t matter.”
Rhett cocked his head and seemed to study my face. When he spoke again, his voice was gentle. “I don’t think you have to worry about that.”
The doorbell rang and I jumped, having forgotten the crew was supposed to be coming by any minute.
Rhett stood. “Mind if I get cleaned up while you get them settled?”
Oh good Lord, there he was, in all his chiseled glory, on display for my viewing enjoyment. The ankle spanker had been packed away for later, but even so, Rhett was a sight to behold. We should have opened a window to cool things off.
“Gabby?”
I pulled my gaze back to his face to see a dimple winking at me, like it knew exactly what I’d been looking at. “Oh sure, yeah, go ahead!”
He stayed to help me out of my chair like a perfect gentleman, when all I wanted to do was pet his chest and lick a line right down the middle of his abs. The insistent ringing of the doorbell dashed cold water on my hot daydream.
“I’m coming!” I called out. Once Rhett disappeared up the stairs, I answered the door to a crew of five people and one very large camera.
Showtime.
10
Gabby
“Oh please, Lord here could have handled the whole thing better himself and he hates giving speeches almost as much as he hates our micro needling appointments!” Kitty let out a bray of a laugh, the sound like nails on a chalkboard. I smiled, of course, playing the part of rich society woman, trying to make friends with the other couples all seated around a ridiculously long dining table.
Rhett reached over and squeezed my leg, most likely dying a silent death alongside me as we had to listen to these people talk about how great they were and how l
ame everyone else was in comparison. Plus, the ten course meal hadn’t filled me up. There was nothing I hated more than eating for two hours and still being hungry. This was a prime example of why I didn’t want to be a stereotypical rich person. After tonight, I thought Rhett might better understand my stance on the issue.
“Speaking of micro needling, did you hear they now do it for the genital region for increased sensation during sex?” Natalia leaned forward over the table like she was imparting a national secret.
Rhett audibly gasped next to me.
“I know, right? Sign me up!” Natalia raised her wine glass in Rhett’s direction, nearly sloshing red wine onto the pristine white tablecloth. Clearly she didn’t understand Rhett’s reason for gasping.
“Oh, I don’t know, I think people just need more hugging, more touch. Sex is so much better when your skin is in a constant state of orgasm.” Lavender’s soft voice floated over the gathering.
General confusion and feeling like a fish out of water kept me from participating in the conversation thus far. As Lavender smoothed her hand down her husband’s arm in a slow, sensual swipe, I remembered she claimed to be a professional hugger. Her comments made more sense now, even while I remained bewildered as to what planet these people were living on.
Rhett and I had been hopeful when we showed up to this first official event hosted by Kitty and Jasper Throckmorton. Their house was gorgeous, set up in the hillside with a killer view of the city below. Kitty explained that she kept busy by being an event planner for bridal showers, which seemed so normal. Her husband, on the other hand, was anything but normal. He’d decided a full suit with cravat was the proper attire for our little dinner party and he’d introduced himself as “Lord” due to being a Baronet to some unheard of English title.
We were the first couple to show, not realizing the others would be sticking to the fashionably late dogma that we didn’t follow in the real world. If you had a business meeting at eight, you showed up at a quarter to eight, not a even a minute after. I’d forgotten the social rules of the bored and wealthy.
“I agree with you there, Lavender. Even my goats get some rubbing in before doing the deed. There’s something about contact in general that needs to happen first.” Frank Kapesh, husband to Natalia, the international model and lover of vag needles, finally engaged in the conversation. Maybe he needed a whole bottle of wine before the dormant conversation skills could perk up. He was a goat farmer, so I imagined he didn’t get a whole lot of socialization. “It’s all about the scent. How can you determine the compatibilities of your scents if you don’t do a little touching and smelling first?”
Rhett coughed into his napkin beside me. If I wasn’t mistaken, it was more of a laugh than a cough, but then again, everyone else was too focused in on the juicy goat sex talk to notice. As for me, my skin was crawling.
“Yes, Frank, you so get it! You and Natalia must have an incredible sex life.” Lavender looked ready to dump poor John and mate with Frank herself. It wasn’t John’s fault he’d made his fortune in ceiling fans instead of goats.
“Oh, we do!” Natalia jumped out of her chair and climbed onto Frank’s lap, her skirt hiking up quite high on her perfect, cellulite-free model legs. If I wasn’t mistaken, she wasn’t wearing any underwear. “Frank is just so earthy, working with the land and his animals. He’s a dirty boy.” Their faces mashed together and I looked away, feeling like a sex tape was being made right in front of me, especially with the cameramen around the room capturing it all on film.
Rhett leaned closer to whisper in my ear. “If they start bleating I’m out of here.”
I guffawed, earning me a horrified look from Kitty. I pointed to my chest. “That was a laugh, not a burp.” Her look didn’t change.
“I think that’s part of our problem, Lavender. You come home smelling like other people every day.” John looked a little pissed at his wife, who was avidly staring at Natalia and Frank making out. “Your scent is polluted.”
Lavender jumped back. “Don’t make your erectile problems about my smell, John Herrington.”
“Oh, shit. Nothing like telling the world your husband can’t get it up,” Rhett whispered into my ear again, like some commentator play-by-play. Somehow, we’d ended up nearly on top of each other as he’d scooted closer and closer throughout dinner. Almost like we needed to huddle together as a team to make it out of this playhouse of loonies alive.
I ignored the shiver that ran up my back from the feel of Rhett’s lips on the shell of my ear. Praise all the farm animals, I hadn’t lost my libido from the incessant goat talk. John turned bright red, opening and closing his mouth like a fish.
“Don’t be so glum, John. We all go through periods of stress due to our important business dealings.” Jasper stood up for John, nodding at him from down the table.
Pretty sure Jasper didn’t own a business, so not sure what business dealings he was referring to. Either way, it seemed to mollify John. Though Lavender looked like she could use a hug.
“Oh please, Jasper. He’s not stressed, he’s just out of touch with his physical self. He could use some more cuddling if only he’d let me.” Lavender may have been a soft and feely hug coach, but she could cut a man down to size.
“It’s Lord.”
The whole table grew silent. Even Natalia and Frank paused their copulating to glance down at Jasper at the head of the table. He straightened his spine and lifted his nose. “I’m a Baronet and therefore should be addressed as Lord. Please remember.”
“Oh my Lord…” Rhett whispered loudly enough for everyone to hear.
“You should have been there. Actually, on second thought, I’m glad you weren’t. You would’ve been laughing so hard you would’ve gone into early labor.”
Lily-Marie was on the other end of the line, giggling as I told her about our experience last night. The cameraman assigned to us was currently in the back yard getting some good shots of Rhett setting up his first board here at the house. He said he was going to make me a paddleboard so we could go out on the water together. Sadly, I was more apprehensive than excited as I was not known for my balance.
“So did everyone start calling him Lord?” Lily-Marie finally calmed down enough to ask a question.
“Yeah, they did! I kind of just didn’t call him anything because it was so weird. I might resort to just screaming ‘hey you’ if I need his attention.” I laid my head back on the couch cushion and shut my eyes. Between dealing with crazies last night and then another tense night of sleeping next to Rhett and trying not to touch him accidentally, I was exhausted.
“Maybe I could ask my ob-gyn to do some micro needling while he’s down there sewing things up after delivery, huh?”
I guffawed and Lily-Marie snorted, back for round two of laughter.
“God,” I groaned. “It was so bad and I have to do this for another two and a half months!”
“Well, this was your idea, you know. You could have said no.”
My head snapped back up. “Yes, I’m well aware, thank you very much. I just didn’t expect this level of whack job in our fellow couples. Although we’re kind of whack jobs too considering we just met a few days ago and are pretending to be madly in love.”
“Honestly, it seems to me that to make this believable, you really need to ramp up your acting. You have to be just as crazy as them.”
Lily-Marie had a valid point. I didn’t want to stick out as the boring couple in comparison because then it would never be believable to Hewitt that I’d moved on. “Hmm…good point. I’ll have to free my inner wild woman and get these cameras to love me.”
“There you go! When do you see the other couples again?”
I rubbed that spot between my eyebrows. “This afternoon. The ladies put together a spa day for just us girls. And before you ask, I checked there weren’t any needles planned for my face or the lady bits.”
Lily-Marie’s happy laugh made me miss her even more. If I was spending time with gi
rlfriends, I wished it could have been her.
“That’s good, babe. You got this.”
“So tell me, darling, how long have you and Rhett been together?” Natalia lifted a cucumber slice from her eye to see me in the chair next to her getting a pedicure. I declined the face mask she currently had drying on her face. I was all for natural products but didn’t feel right about having whale sperm spread across my skin, no matter how tight it could pull my face.
“Only been six months, but when you know, you know, you know?” I softened my face into what I thought was a dreamy smile.
She sat up straighter and let the other cucumber fall into her lap. “Oh, you’re still in the honeymoon phase! Sex must be insane, right?” Her eyes were ablaze, giddy on the idea of getting all the gory details.
My face froze, wondering how I could be an award-winning actor enough for her to let it drop. “Oh, you know. It’s mind-blowing, really. To go from a relationship where everything was a habit, the same damn thing every time, to a lover who sees to your every need…well, it’s intense.” I fanned my face with my hand and closed my eyes, pretending to be reliving some wicked memory that had me tuning her out.
What’s with that woman and sex? It was all she ever talked about.
Natalia was gorgeous with her long golden brown hair and svelte body. Her skin looked as if she’d never had a zit, bug bite, or scar in her whole life. Almost like she was Photoshop’d in real time. She already confessed to barely eating and exercising for hours a day to stay in shape for her career, but if I did all that, sex would be the last thing on my mind.
“Ladies, let’s move you into the massage room.” Our attendant stood in the middle of the room, summoning us from our various stations.
I clambered out of the pedicure chair, careful to keep from ruining my nail polish by keeping my toes up in the air. I had to walk like a stiff-legged duck as we went down the narrow hallway, but I got the job done, despite a judgy look from Natalia.
