by Jamie Pope
“I’m your brother. I’m not going anywhere. I promise. Now let’s go get your boy.”
“Can you get him for me?” She pulled away from him and swiped at the tears running down her face. “I don’t want him to see me a mess.”
He walked inside, and the scent of garlic and tomato sauce immediately made his stomach growl as a thousand thoughts churned in his head.
“Hi, Uncle Wylie.” Teo was snuggled with Cass in the new, oversized armchair they had just picked out last week. “We’re reading. Miss Cass bought me two books and some ice cream because I did real good reading my sight words at school.”
“He got a hundred, Wylie,” Cass said, running her fingers through the boy’s curls. “I’m so proud.”
“I am too. He’s smart, just like his uncle.” Cass looked so natural curled up with Teo in that chair. If she stayed, she would be good to Teo, good for him. She would love him as much as she would love a child that came from her body, but Teo wasn’t theirs. Teo had a mama who loved him, who was waiting right outside. It took him a while to understand it, but Nova was the one Teo should be with. “Your mama is here for you,” he told him.
“No,” Cass said, kissing his forehead. “He’s mine. I’m keeping him.”
“I’ll stay with you, Miss Cass.” He looked at Wylie. “She’ll be sad without me.”
“I’ll take care of her,” he said, trying to suppress a smile. “You don’t have to worry. Go home with your mama.”
“Nah. I’m good here.” He snuggled farther into Cass.
“Teo,” he warned.
“But I wanted to eat dinner here. It’s in the oven. It’s almost ready.”
“Your mama is waiting for you outside. I’m not going to tell you again to get moving.”
He sighed as he eased out of the chair. “Yes, sir. Good-bye, Miss Cass. I’ll see you again.”
“Yes, Teo.” She grinned. “You will.”
Wylie walked him out and put the pie he was still holding in the kitchen before he returned to Cass. She was still sitting in the chair, wrapped in a throw blanket, looking so at home there that it made his chest swell painfully. It made him afraid too, afraid of how empty his life would be again if she left him. He knelt before her, wrapping his arms around her waist, placing his head on her belly.
“What was that all about?”
“I don’t know.” She sighed. “I got mad at Nova and stole her kid.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m hormonal and I wanted her to realize how lucky she is to be a mother. I lost my chance once to be one. I still think about the baby, who they could have been, what they would have looked like.”
“You could have another baby one day, Cass. You know that, don’t you?”
“I didn’t until today, when I went to the doctor. I’m pregnant, Wylie. That’s why I’ve been so tired lately. I’m not sad. I’m going to give you a baby.”
“What?” His head snapped up and he looked her in the eyes for a sign. Searching for a sign that she was joking, a sign that what she was saying wasn’t real. But it had to be real, because if it wasn’t, it would be too cruel, too unbearable.
“You’re not happy,” she whispered. “I know it wasn’t planned. I know this is bad timing, but I want this.”
“Hush,” he ordered as he smashed his mouth to hers, kissing her so deeply that his mind went blank. All he could do was feel. A baby. A family of his own. The thing he always wanted with the woman he always loved. “That car is going back to Tanner.”
“What?” She shook her head. “Are you happy about this, Wylie?”
“Happy?” He threw back his head and laughed. “Damn it, Cassandra. I love you. I’m crazy in love with you. I want you as my wife, my partner, my family. My forever. Don’t you know that?”
“It would be nice if you told me that more often.”
“I will. I wanted to, but I didn’t know how you would take it. I wasn’t sure if you were ready to hear it.”
“You never told me that when we were together before. You never said, ‘I love you.’”
“But you knew. You had to know. You had to feel it.”
“I did.” She nodded. “I do. I know you love me.”
“So much it hurts.” He studied her a moment longer, trying to read her face and seeing a little sadness in it. “I know you want this baby, but what about me? What about this life? Is this the life that you want?”
She leaned forward, cupping his face in her hands and gently kissing his mouth. “I’m happy here. Why would I want to leave that?”
She didn’t answer his question and uneasiness rolled around in his gut. “It’s okay if you’re unsure about this. I know this isn’t the life you had planned.”
“But it’s the life that I was given and I’m happy to have it.” She kissed him again, softly, slowly. Her tongue swept into his mouth, arousing him with her gentleness. “Dinner can wait. Turn off the oven and take me to bed.”
Chapter 19
Cassandra looked into the pot that was on the stove. The smell of the brown rice she was cooking made her stomach queasy. She didn’t know why. The brown rice, steamed broccoli and grilled chicken breast was a meal she made and ate often. There was nothing spicy, nothing flavorful about it, but it was healthy. Terrance liked for them to stay healthy. He had requested salmon and kale salad for tomorrow. Maybe she would sneak in a baked potato with sour cream and butter. He wouldn’t like it, but she was craving it: the butter, the salt, the fat, the fluffiness of the potato. She couldn’t wait until Friday when he took her out for dinner. Terrance enjoyed fine dining. He loved to savor his food, and discuss the flavors, and so did she. But sometimes she just wanted a cheeseburger, with bacon and ketchup and pickles. And to eat on paper plates instead of china.
Sometimes she just wanted to say the hell with her quiet, scheduled, tidy life and do something different. And she hated herself for it.
“Hello, Cassandra.” Terrance came up from behind her and kissed her cheek as he always did, but he lingered today, instead of asking her how her day was as he usually did when he finished his work for the day.
She turned around to face him, placing her hands on his chest as she reached up to kiss his mouth. Really kiss him. Not those gentle pecks they usually shared, but with her tongue and open mouth. She used to feel so close to him when they were kids, but somehow they had lost that in marriage. She had married her best friend, but they weren’t friends anymore. She missed that, and by kissing him she was trying to recapture that closeness. He returned her kiss, wrapped his arms around her, held her tightly, a little too tightly, as if he were trying to hold on to something that was slipping away. But she didn’t get that feeling she was seeking, and she wasn’t sure what else she could do to recapture it.
She pulled away from him, looking up into his eyes and seeing pain there. “What’s wrong?” She touched his face. She loved him. She did. She hated to see his pain.
“I would like to make love to you tonight, if that’s okay with you.”
She nodded, feeling a little disappointed. She wished he didn’t have to ask, that he would just take her upstairs, peel her clothes off and do what he wanted. But he never did. He always asked, always held himself away.
“You don’t have to ask, Terrance. You know I will. You know I never say no to you.”
“I know, but sometimes I think you don’t want to. You’re always asleep when I come to bed.”
She held her breath for a moment, knowing that was true, knowing that sometimes she pretended she wasn’t awake because while their lovemaking was nice, while he always took his time to try to bring her pleasure, it somehow never felt quite right. “I’m pregnant, Terrance,” she blurted out, not meaning to, but she needed a way out of the conversation she didn’t want to have. “I’m pregnant.”
She didn’t need the doctor to tell her how far along she was. She was exactly eight weeks. She had gotten pregnant the last time they had made love.
�
��Excuse me?”
“I’m going to have a baby. I know we didn’t discuss it, but you told me you would like to be a father a few months ago, so I stopped taking my pills.”
“You’re two months pregnant?”
“Yes.” She nodded. He knew how far along she was. He knew the last time they made love.
“You did this for me?”
“It’s what you wanted, isn’t it? I think you will be a great father. I want you to be the father of my child.”
Terrance looked at her for a long moment and then he did something that surprised her. He pulled her into a hug and started to cry.
* * *
“You look so damn pretty in the morning, Cass.” She awoke to Wylie’s lips brushing across her neck.
“You think so? I feel like a sack of potatoes.”
“A beautiful sack of potatoes. In fact, I would like to cook you up and pour some gravy on you, just so I can eat you up.”
“There’s some gravy downstairs. I bought some, just in case I mess up my mother’s recipe tomorrow. You can go get it and I can try really hard not to screw up tomorrow.”
He lifted his head and looked down at her, the heat in his eyes sending tingles throughout her body. “Don’t tempt me, woman.” He settled himself on top of her and she welcomed his heavy weight as he kissed her along her throat. “I can barely look at you now without getting all hot and bothered. How do you think I’ll survive Thanksgiving dinner with your parents if the vision of your naked body covered in warm brown gravy keeps popping in my head?”
“Warm gravy? You’re going to heat it up first?”
“Well, yeah. No self-respecting Southerner eats cold gravy.”
She laughed, pulling him closer so that her lips could meet his. His kiss was deep and sensual. His kiss was fun and happy. He was happy, lighter. The news of the baby caused a shift in him she couldn’t describe. How could things be so easy with him when their relationship was so damn complicated?
Why did she have to dream about Terrance last night? About the last time she had seen him happy? About her last-ditch effort to save their marriage just before their life together ended so tragically. Lately she wondered how life would have been if that day had never happened, if they had never been shot. She wondered how life would have been if they had a chance to raise their baby together. Would it have fixed the slow bleed that was killing their marriage? Would it have served as a Band-Aid, a temporary solution to a problem that could have never been healed? They would have thrown themselves into being parents. They would have done everything for their child, their children, because Cassandra knew just one wouldn’t have been enough to distract them from each other.
“Stop thinking about whatever you are thinking about.” Wylie said. His hands had already slid up her nightgown. His palms were smoothing over her thighs.
“My parents are going to be here at noon.”
“Are you nervous about seeing them?” He rolled over, taking her with him so that they were both on their sides. “We haven’t talked about them coming. We’ve just been so busy getting the house ready.”
“You’ve been busy getting the house ready. You wouldn’t let me do anything but pick out the decor.”
“I don’t want you to overexert yourself. You’re tired enough as it is.”
“I could have at least helped you paint, Wylie.”
“No, you couldn’t have. The fumes are bad for the baby.” He rested his hand on her belly, and a small smile immediately came to his face. “Are we going to tell them about the baby?”
“Do you think we should?”
“I’m having a hard time not shouting it from the rooftops! I’ve been so damn happy. But what do you want to do?”
“I asked you first, Wylie James. It’s not just my decision. We’re partners.”
“I know.” He nodded, his eyes going soft. “I think I should first tell them that I want you to become my wife. I’m going to ask your father for your hand.”
“You don’t have to. It doesn’t matter anyway. It’s my choice.” It’s what Terrance had done. He had asked her father before he had even discussed it with her. He had planned out this elaborate proposal and asked her in front of both of their families. It had been incredibly sweet and she would have been incredibly touched if she had been prepared. If she really had wanted to become his wife.
And here was Wylie prepared to ask her father, prepared to spend the rest of his life with her. She didn’t feel the same now as she did then, but she did feel guilt. She should have felt strong enough to say no and save Terrance, save herself from years of unhappiness.
“Do you think he’ll say no?” he asked her.
“I don’t care if he does.” It was the truth. She had never cared what her father thought, what Harmony Falls thought about the man she loved.
“Where I come from, we ask the woman’s father. It’s just what we do.”
“Please, Wylie. I don’t want you to. It’s what Terrance did. He asked my father and there was a big, huge ring and an enormous wedding, and I didn’t want any of that.”
“What do you want? Do you even want to marry me, Cass? I didn’t ask you. Like an ass, I just assumed you would.” He rolled out of bed and went to his dresser on the far side of the room. “I got this a long time ago, before I knew about the baby, but I wasn’t sure what you wanted. Or if I should give it to you. But you should know that this is what I want. This is all I’ve ever wanted.”
He handed her the little black box. His face was so full of fear and hope that her heart shifted painfully. The ring was simple—a pretty square-cut diamond on a silver band. Unlike her last engagement ring, with the huge diamonds and extravagant setting, this ring was her.
“It’s perfect. It’s beautiful.”
“I love you. I have since the moment I shook your hand when I was thirteen years old. I walked away before, because I thought you deserved better. You still deserve better than me, but I’m selfish and I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life without you.”
“What if I say no?” She kissed his lips. “What if I don’t want this?” She kissed him twice more. “What would you do?”
“I would lock you in the basement until you came around.” He winked at her. “Hopefully, that Stockholm syndrome would work in my favor.”
She grinned. She couldn’t help it. “You did kidnap me from Harmony Falls, if I remember correctly. I think it’s already worked in your favor. I’m stuck on you.”
He kissed her forehead. “I don’t want you to answer me now. I don’t want you to feel pressured. But just remember you got my baby in there, so you’re going to be stuck with me for the rest of your life anyway.”
“I know.” She pulled him down on top of her. “I’m looking forward to it.”
* * *
“Do you think the Trellis Inn is the right place to go for dinner?” Cass asked Wylie as she wiped down the kitchen table for the third time.
“Yeah. It’s a nice place. It’s got good reviews.”
“But is it too nice?” She scrubbed an invisible speck of dirt. “Too fancy?”
“What’s the matter with fancy? You afraid I won’t know which fork to use?”
“Stop that!” She slammed the dishcloth on the table. “I hate when you do that. I hate when you act like I’m embarrassed of you. I’ve never been embarrassed of you.”
“I know,” he said softly, regretting his offhanded comment. “I didn’t mean it, but maybe I’m a little on edge. Your father is coming, and the last time I saw him, he was telling me to stay away from you because I wasn’t good enough. I want to show him that I am good enough for you, that I can take care of you. And if that means I’ve got to take him to a restaurant that is fifty damn dollars a plate to prove it, I will.”
“You are good enough for me.” She left the table and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I’m the only one who gets to decide if you are. You don’t need to impress him. I just want you to be you. I want him to
see my life now, the life that I have here with you.”
“You’re sweet, Cass.” He tried to ignore the tension that was rolling around him as the hour grew closer, but it was there and real—and part of him still felt like that kid from rural Alabama who was never going to be good enough for the doctor’s daughter. He pushed those thoughts away, tipping her chin up so that he could kiss her. “But I still want to go to that restaurant. I look too damn good in a suit to pass up the opportunity.”
“I like you the best in blue jeans.” She grinned at him, putting him at ease. “In fact, I like you the best in no jeans at all.”
“This is why you have got to marry me.” He took her mouth in a quick, hot kiss. “I need a girl who’s not afraid to talk dirty to me in the kitchen.”
“Or make love to you in the kitchen.”
“And the living room, bathroom and on the beach.”
“You make me sound easy.” She smiled shyly at him, a flush coming over her face.
“You make me feel crazy.” He took her mouth again, allowing his hands to wander over her body, even though he knew he couldn’t make love to her right now. “And if I hadn’t just heard a car door slam, you would be in trouble.”
“You heard a car door slam?” She froze, her eyes going wide. He had known she was nervous to see her parents again. He had been nervous to see them too, and not because he knew Cassandra’s father didn’t care for him. Rather it was because he was worried that once Cass saw them again, she would miss her old life, her old town, and want to go back to it.
She was having his baby, but sometimes he wondered if he was just a placeholder in her life, a distraction to make her forget how much she loved and missed her husband.
“Let’s go greet them.”
She nodded, but she didn’t move. “Hold my hand.”
“No, you hold mine.” He locked his fingers in hers and led her out the front door. Cassandra’s parents were still by their car, in a conversation so deep that they didn’t even notice that Wylie and Cassandra were standing on the porch.
