by Jill Shalvis
“What are you afraid of?” he asked, mocking her own earlier words.
You. “I just don’t feel like talking, Chance.”
“Well I do,” he said simply, and propelled her inside, out of the rain.
14
FRESH FROM HER SHOWER, Ally paced the kitchen, ignoring the hot chocolate Chance had made her. From the bathroom she could hear the shower running. Then it abruptly turned off.
Chance was in there. Standing in her shower, water streaming down his leanly muscled body. A body that was tough. Hot to the touch. Gorgeous.
And naked.
His hair would be in spikes around his head. He’d probably just shove his fingers through it, as he seemed to do most of the time. His eyes would be tired, his voice deep and husky from the exhaustion of the day. He needed sleep, and she thought maybe he intended to do that here.
If only he knew how she’d fallen so stupidly in love with him, he’d be running for the hills.
As she’d told him, she’d changed.
Actually, both of them had. Where he’d once been unwilling to let anyone into his fiercely guarded, loner heart, he’d opened up and let Brian in. He’d opened up for her as well, as much as he could. That it wasn’t enough for her wasn’t his fault.
Which meant it was time for her to be running for the hills. Or at least for San Francisco.
He’d built a fire, probably to comfort and warm her, but each time it crackled and sizzled she jumped. She left the small kitchen for the living room, hoping the warmth would penetrate her chill.
Chance stood in the doorway, his face dark and pensive. He hadn’t bothered to dry his hair and he smelled like her shampoo. When he saw her, he smiled but she noted the tightness of his shoulders and the grimness in his gaze. He was worried, which startled her. She’d seen him in good humor, and in bad. She’d seen him in the throes of passion, and in a foul temper. She’d seen him sad, and also afraid. But never worried.
“I needed you today,” he said. “I needed you…and you were there.”
She knew all too well this was a problem for him. He made it a point to never need anyone.
“It meant risking your life, and you didn’t even hesitate.” He shook his head. “I can’t stop thinking about that, or about how I felt when I thought that car was going to hit you, right in front of me.”
“But it didn’t hit me. You made sure of that.”
“From the very beginning, when you first came here, I had this ridiculous need to keep you safe.” He laughed mirthlessly. “I didn’t understand it. And I fought it every step of the way because it drove me crazy watching you do all the things I do every day, all the dangerous things I do and just take for granted because I’ve done them before. But when you did them…God. When you went biking, kayaking, anything, I had to hold my tongue and…just let you.”
“I don’t remember you holding your tongue very much,” she said wryly.
“My point is that it was pure hell to watch you go at this life with such gusto. It was hell, but I did it, and today—” He drew a deep, ragged breath. “Today it almost cost you your life.”
“My life is mine to run,” she said softly. “Not yours.”
“I know. I’m trying to back off. I know you wanted to be alone now. I know you wanted to pull away from me, and maybe I should have let you.” Turning his back to her, he walked to the fireplace and stared pensively into the fire. “But I couldn’t.”
His shoulders looked as if they were holding the weight of his entire world. Ally had never been able to watch someone in pain and not try to ease it, and there was no way she could hold back here, with him. She crossed the room and slipped her arms around him from behind, laying her cheek against the sleek muscles of his back. Her hands found their way beneath his T-shirt, sliding over the hard sinew and warm skin of his stomach.
At first he didn’t move, just stood rock-still so that the only sound was the roaring fire and his own harsh breathing.
Her fingers danced over him, up and down and back again. Then she whispered his name.
It unleashed him, and with a jagged sigh, he turned in her arms, locked his around her, buried his face in her hair, letting out a heartfelt groan. “Ally, I want you. Say you want me, too.”
“You know I do.”
“Say it.”
“I want you, Chance.”
His mouth found her neck and nuzzled there, at the sensitive spot beneath her ear, and the embrace changed, shifted into something far more complicated than comfort.
“I want to feel you,” he murmured, his hands streaked over her body, cupping, stroking, holding. “I have to feel you.”
Again, that thrill, that squeeze on her heart, because he did need her. Maybe not on the mountain, but now, right now, and that this big, tough, strong man could be rendered helpless by that need made her want to burst. “Touch me, Chance.”
He took her down to her knees on the rug before the fire, removing pieces of clothing as they went. Lying back, he pulled her over him so that she straddled his hips, and it was incredible how he looked up at her, as if she was the most beautiful, most sexy, most amazing woman on earth.
And for that moment, she was. “Touch me,” she whispered again.
He reached between them to do just that, his fingers driving her with a deliberate sureness that told her he already knew her body better than she did. “Like this?” he asked, his fingers slipping into her with exquisite care. He brought her to the edge with one stroke. She grabbed his arms so tightly she probably bruised him, but she didn’t want him to stop. Not ever.
“Ally?”
“Yes! Yes, like that!” She dipped down and ran the tip of her tongue across his bottom lip. His breath caught, and beneath her, she felt him, hard and heavy, pushing against her soft flesh, felt the thrust of his hips against hers. Fisting him in her hands, she stroked him slowly from base to tip, thrilling to the way his body writhed.
When he couldn’t take it any longer, he pushed her hand away. Splaying his fingers over her bare back, he urged her forward, drawing her close so that he could open his lips on one of her breasts. His tongue flicked over her nipples, laving each of them with equal care before drawing one between his lips to suck hard. The pressure continued to build within her and her body tightened. “Now, Chance. Please, now.”
Eyes fierce, mouth taut in a line of hunger and need, he guided her over him, sinking into her slowly, so slowly she thought she would die from the wanting. They were naked body pressed to naked body, sweat-slicked skin to sweat-slicked skin, and she couldn’t get enough of him, of touching, of tasting him. She couldn’t talk, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t do anything for fear of blinking and having it all be gone. It couldn’t be so real, so right…could it? Afraid to let herself hope and dream, she had to close her eyes, had to hide, but he placed his hands on the sides of her face and made her look at him.
“No hiding now.” His eyes were alive with passion, his mouth wet from hers, his breathing labored as if he’d run a race. “No more hiding for either of us.”
No more hiding. Good thing, because the love she was holding back was currently threatening to choke her. “Chance—”
“Yes. Now. Watch.” And he rolled her to her back, surging up so that she could see him enter her with each flex of his hips, could watch her own hips rock up to meet his. It was the most erotic thing she’d ever seen and she struggled to keep her eyes open, to bite off the dark sounds of unbelievable pleasure as she strained against him.
“It’s never been like this,” she told him. “Never.”
He stilled for a moment, then plunged deeper, harder, again and again until she started to shudder. Her climax ripped through her, ripping her heart and soul as well. “I love you,” she whispered and he shuddered, too, letting out a low, wrenching groan as his own orgasm gripped him. She wondered if he’d heard her words, but the mixture of passion and torment on his face said that he had. Threading his fingers through her hair, he gathered
her close for a kiss that claimed her mouth as surely as he’d claimed her heart.
And when they could breathe, he took her again, as if he could somehow drive the need out of him. And then again, deep into the night. Finally, he fell into an exhausted slumber, and for a long, long time Ally watched him sleep, thinking she would give anything to be entwined with him like this forever, held against his chest, close to his heart.
But as soon as he woke up, this special interlude would be over. Oh, she’d let him touch her again, because she couldn’t resist. He was a masterful lover.
But she knew now without a doubt what she wanted in life, and it had to be more than lust. As the light of dawn drifted through the slats on her wooden blinds, she touched him one last time, her fingers skimming over his rough jaw, her eyes soaking up every inch of him. “You’re so beautiful,” she whispered. “Inside and out.”
He didn’t budge, lost in his exhausted slumber.
“I’ll never forget you,” she said softly. “Never.”
And she slipped out of bed.
WHEN CHANCE WOKE AN hour later, he found himself reaching for Ally. It shocked him, how natural it felt to do so. How natural it felt to look into her big gray eyes and want her to smile at him. He thought about what it would be like to roll over every single morning for the rest of his life and reach for her, and had to admit, he liked the thought.
Where was his usual restlessness after a night like the one they’d shared? Where was his urge to get out of bed and run like hell?
Gone. Vanished, like the rest of his reserve when it came to Ally. He’d never felt this way for another woman. He actually wanted more. He wanted all those things he’d never given much thought to before. Commitment. A home. Children. Forever.
But Ally hadn’t asked him for any of those things. To the contrary, she’d always planned on leaving. And for the first time in his life he found himself in the awkward position of wanting more from a woman than she wanted from him. Yes, he was completely over the top in love with her, and she loved him back. He might not deserve that love, but she’d offered it and he wanted it more than his next breath.
But she was still leaving.
He lay still for a moment, absorbing that, and the fact she wasn’t in the bed with him. She’d come back any second, he told himself, maybe even with that sexy yet shy smile, the one that made him want to tumble her down again and have his way with her.
Which he’d done many satisfying times during the night.
A grin broke free at that, and he stretched languidly, lasciviously, thinking no matter what time it was, they could spare a few extra moments to make love again. Then he’d tell her how he felt about her. It was time to let go of his fear of commitment, time to give in and realize Ally would never hold him back, she’d only enhance everything about his life.
It took him awhile, but he eventually realized the cabin was far too still. He slid his hand over the pillow they’d shared, when she hadn’t been sleeping sprawled across the top of him. He’d learned many things about the incredible, warm, passionate Ally in their time together, and one of them was that she was a complete and utter bed hog.
He liked that about her.
But her side of the pillow, though seeped in her light, sexy scent, was ice-cold.
With a jerk of his heart, he shoved up to a sitting position, his gaze searching the room. The closet was open and he pushed the covers aside and hopped out of bed to go look. He tore past the leggings, the new fleece sweats, the wet suit…everything she’d purchased here at the resort. He was looking for the clothes she’d brought with her from San Francisco, the clothes she’d never once worn here, but they were gone.
And so was she.
He threw on his clothes and ran down the path to the lodge. She’d be there, he told himself.
But she wasn’t. He searched everywhere, and the longer he searched, the more desperate he became because he knew the ugly truth. He’d made her unhappy. God, what he’d give to fix that. He wanted to see her smile at him with that love in her eyes, the love he’d been afraid of. He wanted to live with her and watch them both turn gray. He wanted every damn thing. But it was too late.
He was too damn late.
All Jo knew was that she’d indeed left. When Chance called Lucy, she was annoyingly vague, too, telling him she was being released in a few days, that she’d come by the resort to see everyone and that they could talk then.
He couldn’t wait that long. His heart felt like someone had taken a two-by-four to it. How could he have waited so long to face the truth about loving Ally? He’d been so busy being the big, bad, tough T. J. Chance, only his sweet, determined Ally had really been the brave, tough one all along. She’d gone against the grain just to come here. To stay here. She’d risked her self-esteem and confidence to face this world she’d known nothing about.
Over and over again, she’d put herself out on the line. Learning. Experiencing. Risking. And she’d risked the one thing he never had—his heart.
15
EACH TIME ALLY HAD been to see Lucy, her aunt had seemed fresh, happy and full of spunk. And each time, Ally had left the hospital with a niggling feeling that she was somehow missing something.
Things were no different on this early, foggy morning as she made her way to Lucy’s room. She hadn’t called first, but she’d been the surprised one.
The traction was gone.
In fact, there was no sign of an invalid at all. And though she knew Lucy had been progressing wonderfully, that she was close to being healed, it was still a shock.
As Ally entered the room, Lucy and a nurse were laughing over a joke that the doctor had just told—the doctor that had released Lucy.
Ally stood rooted in the doorway, dividing her gaze between the grinning nurse and Lucy. “You’re getting out of here?”
Lucy went utterly still, then plastered a smile on her face. “Darling, how lovely to see you! What a surprise! You shouldn’t have driven all this way just to see little, old, rickety me.”
“Why do I have the feeling you’ve never been little, old or rickety?” Suspicious, and feeling as if the joke was on her, Ally moved closer. “How come you didn’t let any of us know you were coming home today?”
“Well…I…”
“Lucy, have you been faking all along?”
“No!” She sent her nurse a pleading look. “Tell her. Tell her I was helpless in traction, lying around for days in agony.”
“Agony, yes,” the nurse said, smiling fondly at Lucy. “Helpless? Never.” And with that, she left them alone.
Ally waited for an explanation that didn’t seem to be coming. “Lucy?”
“I’m thinking, dear.”
“About?”
“How to best approach this.”
Ally let out a disbelieving laugh. “How about starting from the beginning? Now, please.”
Lucy grimaced. “Are you this tough with your sisters?”
“I am now.”
“Well…I guess that’s a good thing.” Lucy sighed dramatically. “You’re not going to like this, you know.”
Ally already knew that by the way her heart was drumming. “Try me.”
“Okay, well, I really did hurt myself.” Lucy slid the sheet aside, revealing the bottom half of her legs, one of which was still in a cast. “See?” She wriggled her purple polished toenails. “Definitely broken.”
“Skip to the part I’m not going to like,” she suggested tightly.
“You mean where I confess I’ve been matchmaking this entire time?” Lucy smiled sheepishly, looking twelve instead of sixty something. “Is that the part you mean?”
“You…what?”
“I’m sorry.”
“But that’s—” Ally sank to the bed in shock, the breath swooshing out of her lungs. “How? You didn’t even know for certain I’d come here. And you couldn’t have known that I’d fall for Chance, much less even like him—”
Lucy gasped. Her eyes lit up and
she brought her hands to her mouth. “Oh darling! It worked? Really? You fell for him?”
“I…” Even as the trap surrounded her, as the noose tightened, Ally refused to go down without a fight. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Lucy let out a dreamy sigh. “It’s too late, I can see it in your eyes.”
“That’s bad temper!”
“It’s love.”
“I can’t believe this.” She felt dazed, railroaded. Mortified. “What a rotten thing to do!”
“Oh, no. No, I didn’t mean it that way,” Lucy said urgently. “I just thought—”
“What? That it’d be fun to mess with my life?”
“No, of course not. Ally…”
But she didn’t want to hear it. Not when the implications of everything were just setting in. She stalked the length of the room to the door, then whirled back. “It was all a ploy? The letter, the job? Everything?” She waited for the denial that couldn’t come because it was all true. “You never really needed me at all.”
“No! I—”
“You were bored? You wanted to amuse yourself, and contrived a way to put my entire life on hold? Is that it?”
“Oh, honey…” Lucy wrung her hands. “This is not going as I planned.”
God, she felt so foolish. Humiliated. “You played on my sense of family loyalty to get me out here. I can’t believe how I fell for it. And all this time I thought I was helping you.”
Lucy lifted a hand and pointed at her. “Now you stop right there, Ally Wheeler! True, yes, that’s all this family ever does—lean on you. I know that, and it’s wrong. I just thought it was time you got something back for once, and I know for a fact you did get something back by running Sierra Peak, so don’t you tell me otherwise. You learned to trust yourself, you learned just how strong and independent you can be.”
